Welcome to Gaia! ::

Pssh, says you. I got a girl for only the second time after I started fighting the bottle. It's not over yet!

EDIT: (It's Nergal. I lost!)

*Staggers out, clutching an open, gaping wound. The bottle had only been toying with him the entire time! Then, when victory seemed near, it mercilessly RAN him through with the legendary Rex Hasta! Truly, it was no mere bottle. It was the bottle of CRACK PAIRINGS ITSELF.
Falling beneath a wall, Rhys breathed his last words...*
"This is a just reward... for Laus's brutality..."
*Dies*

(Dude, I got NERGAL. razz That's definitely counting as an Instant Death.)

*...Darkness. Then brighter. Brighter still.
Then, for some bizarre reason, Rhys found himself staring into the face of the hottest chick he had EVER laid eyes on. Seriously, Mia was Vaida compared to this girl. Any goddess would easily glow green with envy... wait...*
"G-goddess paggy?" Rhys stuttered at the being before him.
"That is correct, my dear WOMBAT Rhys", Paggy spoke in a sultry voice that would have made the male angels themselves, er, suddenly find holy lances in their pants, "And I have brought you here because... I am concerned with your path on the Faith."
"How so, Goddess Paggy? Have I not paginated with all my might?"
"Yes, Rhys, you have, and for that I am grateful. I believe that this is indeed not yet your time. That is why I have instead decided not to let you die, but to warn you. Pagination isn't about "getting the girl" all the time. Sometimes, you must paginate even if you find it not as satisfying, for still 'tis better to paginate and be paginated than to have never been so at all."
"...That bottle gave me NERGAL, you know."
"Then never go to Vegas. Your luck blows," the goddess responded. "In any case, Rhys, hate not the bottle. It does not seek to make crack pairings; it only exists to spread pagination, for the benefit of all."
Rhys blinked. "Y-you're right! Oh, I've been such a fool! This whole time, I was so focused on skirt chasing that I couldn't see what was right in front of me! And me, a WOMBAT... I'm a failure", he moaned.
"No, Rhys", the goddess replied, smiling in such a way as to make Jesus realize the existence of a "Second Coming" in his pants. "You believed in pagination. You just needed a little talk to understand the true meaning of pagination. Now carry on, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done! Lay your weary head to rest... don't you cry no more!"

*Rhys awakened, feeling new vigor within him again!*

Hey! Is today May 15, 2008?
(I went overboard. XD I apologize if this sounds offensive.)

EDIT: And thus didst Rhys throwwe himselfe at this thine Colm, and Colm didst beggeth for mercy fromme the mightee pagination that didst ensue. And the goddess Paggy didst grin, and didst Vaidayotape awl.

Didn't know Paggy was a Kansas fan.

Edit- ORUGH wase staending theer, getting lade by Heath.

Definitely hoping for someone good... *crosses fingers*

Heh heh heh.

Wait, I'm going to have to see what?

PAGINATION!

=D EIRIKA! C'MERE! *does the WORST*

Seriously.