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bittersweet and evocative
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 Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 2:32 am
Boldie, your message made me smile for the first time in a while. Your rambling was really cute. And I'm really sorry for worrying you. I promise that next time I'll leave you a message, either here, by PM or maybe on facebook, but I'll let you know that I'm still ok, ok? I didn't even click that you may have thought I was gone for that reason - all I could think was that you'd all be glad like heck to have a few days without me putting a damper on you moods. But I am really sorry.
If I get your number, maybe I could try and call you some time later this week? I need to buy another phone card to call my friend in Arizona, so they'll be plenty of money on that to call you. Only if you want to, though. And it means a lot that you tried to contact me. I guess I've never even thought about it before now that someone would actually care if I were to leave. As cliche as that sounds, it's really true. I've never really considered that someone would care awfully much. A few tears shed here, a memory each year, and then life goes on.
Anyway, I best go to bed and try to sleep as I have a practice exam tomorrow morning - oh the fun...lol and yip, Suze, you found me!! Haha I PM you just before so I'll talk to you soon.
xx
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:56 pm
boldie:: I agree with Ailsa!!! I do love your rambling!!! And the graphics problem... I'll PM you so it doesn't clog this post up.
Ailsa::: I sat here for 3 minutes not sure what to right... huh... Well, I'm glad that you have people out here (Like us!!!) That care for you! Oh... that didn't make much sense... oh well. That just seems to be my thing... not making sense at times. Well...
LINDSY HAD AN IDEA!!! Here it is--
That either there is a seperate forum that allows people to post their daily schedules and events, or possibly us being able to have our own "privite" special section (Like at the bottom of each post???) on that topic?
I dunno... thought it would be nice since I like to share my daily happenings with others! It makes me feel somewhat important i guess.
{Oh! THat idea of mine was like a run-on sentence... hm... maybe now boldie and I can be RUN-ON SENTENCE BUDDIES!!!} Ha
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:45 am
Ok, this post is going to be short. I know that I always say that and end up writing a lot but this has to be short, because I need to get to bed. Well, I'm in bed, but I need to sleep...you guys get what I mean.
Lindsy, that's a cool idea. It would also mean that if we aren't on people could see if it's because we're really busy etc etc
I have my New Zealand School of Music audition tomorrow and I'm FREAKING OUT!!!! Like actually. I had a minor panic attack today because I realised it was less than 24 hours away. Ugh, I don't like auditions. I'm really worried that because of all my illnesses and absences they'll be concerned to accept me into the program. It makes me really nervous and I feel sick, so you're nice thoughts would be much appreciated. Also, I couldn't breathe yesterday, so as I'm auditioning with voice, that might prove to be a problem....
Anyway, must go. Love to you all etc
xx Ailsa xx
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Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:06 pm
I am here, but have not read any of the posts.... Just a quick message to say I will be back tomorrow to read. God bless everyone, and I hope everyone has a good nights' sleep.
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:26 am
Pain has flared up, as I went out this evening to the musical Mamma Mia. It was great but now I'm left unable to sleep sad I hope everyone has had a better day than me - I was informed by my doctor this afternoon that they've run out of treatment options for my CRPS so now I'll basically get ignored by the medical profession, unless a miracle suddenly occurs. Unlikely though. So yay, that was a fun afternoon...not. xx
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:32 pm
A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood boldie:: I agree with Ailsa!!! I do love your rambling!!! And the graphics problem... I'll PM you so it doesn't clog this post up.
Ailsa::: I sat here for 3 minutes not sure what to right... huh... Well, I'm glad that you have people out here (Like us!!!) That care for you! Oh... that didn't make much sense... oh well. That just seems to be my thing... not making sense at times. Well...
LINDSY HAD AN IDEA!!! Here it is--
That either there is a seperate forum that allows people to post their daily schedules and events, or possibly us being able to have our own "privite" special section (Like at the bottom of each post???) on that topic?
I dunno... thought it would be nice since I like to share my daily happenings with others! It makes me feel somewhat important i guess.
{Oh! THat idea of mine was like a run-on sentence... hm... maybe now boldie and I can be RUN-ON SENTENCE BUDDIES!!!} Ha
OMG, you said your name !! Now do we have to call you "L" now, or just your name? I'm not sure how many people caught it, but I did. Hmmmmmm maybe I should just shut up, eh? lol
I dunno... thought it would be nice since I like to share my daily happenings with others! It makes me feel somewhat important i guess.
I don't think that's a good idea. There's a lot of people on here, or just plain on the internet, that are bad, bad, bad people, and if they know your schedule, and for some reason, they know where you live (by hacking-I guess), I would really have to fear for your life. I see where "you're" coming from, but, "L", that's not a good idea. I don't want to see you hurt FOR ANY REASON. ok? And I don't have enough to worry about? lmao
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:38 pm
bittersweet and evocative Ok, this post is going to be short. I know that I always say that and end up writing a lot but this has to be short, because I need to get to bed. Well, I'm in bed, but I need to sleep...you guys get what I mean.
Lindsy, that's a cool idea. It would also mean that if we aren't on people could see if it's because we're really busy etc etc
I have my New Zealand School of Music audition tomorrow and I'm FREAKING OUT!!!! Like actually. I had a minor panic attack today because I realised it was less than 24 hours away. Ugh, I don't like auditions. I'm really worried that because of all my illnesses and absences they'll be concerned to accept me into the program. It makes me really nervous and I feel sick, so you're nice thoughts would be much appreciated. Also, I couldn't breathe yesterday, so as I'm auditioning with voice, that might prove to be a problem....
Anyway, must go. Love to you all etc
xx Ailsa xx Lindsy, that's a cool idea. It would also mean that if we aren't on people could see if it's because we're really busy etc etc NO, NO, NO.... This is NOT a good idea-simply for all the weirdo's out there who pose as a nice teen-age boy, and then he/she gets you alone, and WHAMO there goes our friends. I hope you see what I'm saying, both you, Ailsa and Lindsy. This is bad, and please don't do it. In today's world? Where anybody could be somebody and kill or rape or have you prisoner in their basement somewhere? Oh Gosh,... I couldn't bear it. Honestly. Just the thought of it, because I've seen a lot of movies where killers do that sort of thing. Please oh please don't do it. Not safe!! OK?
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:41 pm
Alright,.... now that THAT was said........ *sigh got my heart rate all over the place........
I haven't been feeling good again. The pain not only is radiating into my left hip and leg, it's going into my right leg now. This truly is not good. I only have two legs people!!!!! (really saying that to the doctors) I'm very scared. This is REAL pain... and I'm so afraid I will wind up in a wheelchair for sure. Madralyn or Angel, please.. if you're reading this, please contact me.
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:24 pm
Firstly, Boldie, I see where you're coming from, so don't worry ok? I won't put anything like that up here <3 So you can take a big breath with me ok? In. Out. That's for the pain, too. Boldie, it seems like it's in the air today, as my left leg has swollen up. Like, for the first time, it's showing signs of actual CRPS and it scares the heck out of me. But, Boldie we can do this. It feels good that it's me saying this to you this time, because I can't even count the number of times that you have given me this talk. I love you so much, Boldie. And feel free to message me outside of the forum, if you want to chat more ok? xox love Ailsa xox
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:27 pm
Boldie:: The name thing, I really don't care. "L", Lindsy, Lynn, Wolf, like 'em all!!! Um... the "LINDSY'S GOT AN IDEA" thing
I understand completely! Good thing I asked about it first! Geez-louise!
All righty, I know you guys were "looking forward" to my long posts, but that can;t be managed tonight, but in the morning there is a possiblity!!! YAY!
Get Well and Think Happy!
--*Name Pending...* Haha!
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 6:30 pm
Your "name pending" thing made me laugh. A lot. Thanks for that!!! lol I hope you have a fantastic sleep!!
Hey everyone, again. Just me as per usual distracting myself on the computer as I try to do something other than cry. Pain is not going down so I'm not too certain what I'm going to do about it. Other than that, the day has been really blah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlCqfF7mwOs That's the link to one of my favourite pieces of music at the moment. It's an instrumental piece by Nathan Barr from the show, True Blood. It's helping me stay calm and some what collected. I hope you are having bearable-pain days and are enjoying yourselves.
xox Ailsa xox The majority of these languages, the form of 'you' is singular, so just imagine I'm saying to each of you individually!!
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:05 am
I know I was the last one to post, and this comment isn't going to have much substance, but I'm posting because I don't know what else to do. That state of mind that I had managed to somewhat get into, that things had the possibility of turning out ok? Yeah, that's gone down the drain, to the point that I forgot it existed until I was rereading messages in this thread.
I'm out. Seriously. I'm sick of doctors passing me off because they don't know what's wrong. I'm sick of being told that it's "in my head", because there isn't a LOGICAL answer to this. Well guess what? Not everything is freaking logical. (ok that rant was aimed at the doctors, who may hear this message through telepathy or something, not you guys). It's like if the pain wasn't bad enough, just throw disbelief and skepticism on top of it all. Well, I'm done. I may be young, but I can't cope living like this now, let alone as an adult. How am I supposed to get a job? Move out of home? Have a freaking life?
Ugh, this is just too much. Those of you here, Boldie, Madralyn, who have made it as far as you have, and kept on to the faith - you are amazing. I admire you so much, but I don't feel like I have the strength you have, the power. I'm not cut out for this. I love you all, though. So so much.
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:30 pm
bittersweet and evocative Firstly, Boldie, I see where you're coming from, so don't worry ok? I won't put anything like that up here <3 So you can take a big breath with me ok? In. Out. That's for the pain, too. Boldie, it seems like it's in the air today, as my left leg has swollen up. Like, for the first time, it's showing signs of actual CRPS and it scares the heck out of me. But, Boldie we can do this. It feels good that it's me saying this to you this time, because I can't even count the number of times that you have given me this talk. I love you so much, Boldie. And feel free to message me outside of the forum, if you want to chat more ok? xox love Ailsa xox
(That was my own special song there--Lindsy, you should appreciate that, huh? lol)Well, enough of me goin' on and on..... Gotta check to see if anyone is having a bday soon. Ya'll know *I do that, too, right? yup I do. Ok, Lindsy, Ailsa, and everyone else.......... Ta'Ta' *waves
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:52 pm
Hiya Guys! Sorry I havn't really posted... I have been on around the guild, just not enough time to type stuff out. D:
Ailsa:: Here, listen to this idea of mine!!! (And I believe this is a good idea!!!) Since you seem to loose the feeling/thought of being able to cope, etc., I think maybe you should try this--
Maybe draw or paint something? Some kind of art project? Maybe? And in your spare time, work on it and once it is completed, you most likely will feel accomplished! Now, don't start on something BIG! Something small like I said, a drawing or something. And maybe, just maybe(!), small amounts of accomplishment will help make you feel better!!!??? ANd once you finish up a few small projects, you may have enough faith to start on gradually doing bigger and bigger projects??? I dunno... I just thought smalll accomplishments would help build up your self-esteem or somethin'. The same for you, boldie!!!
I myself am woking on a wooden Wolf figure. Right now I have the pieces cut out, and now I am waiting for some time to go out and buy some wood stain... biggrin
GUESS WHAT, BOLDIE!!! I havn't fallen in a while!!! YAY!!! *Knock on Wood* Don't wanna jynx it! >.<
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:28 pm
A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Hiya Guys! Sorry I havn't really posted... I have been on around the guild, just not enough time to type stuff out. D:
Ailsa:: Here, listen to this idea of mine!!! (And I believe this is a good idea!!!) Since you seem to loose the feeling/thought of being able to cope, etc., I think maybe you should try this--
Maybe draw or paint something? Some kind of art project? Maybe? And in your spare time, work on it and once it is completed, you most likely will feel accomplished! Now, don't start on something BIG! Something small like I said, a drawing or something. And maybe, just maybe(!), small amounts of accomplishment will help make you feel better!!!??? ANd once you finish up a few small projects, you may have enough faith to start on gradually doing bigger and bigger projects??? I dunno... I just thought smalll accomplishments would help build up your self-esteem or somethin'. The same for you, boldie!!!
I myself am woking on a wooden Wolf figure. Right now I have the pieces cut out, and now I am waiting for some time to go out and buy some wood stain... biggrin
GUESS WHAT, BOLDIE!!! I havn't fallen in a while!!! YAY!!! *Knock on Wood* Don't wanna jynx it! >.<
Yea for Lindsy !!! I'm proud of you... Um, I have an idea as well... How about buying like a puzzle from the store, and put it on a card table or something like that, where no one will interfere with it, and start it that way. That's a good idea, too, huh? Possibly VERY good for me, that way I'm not always on the computer, but working on something that meets a goal. And then, my husband can't complain that I'm always on line. AND----- it's something maybe he and I could do together. Wow, Now THAT's a good idea. Yeah...... Maybe some fall theme or something. You know like all the yellows, golds, oranges, greens, reds, etc.... Hmmm, not a bad idea, and puzzles, I don't think, are that expensive. The trick is for people not to knock it over or start doing it *for you. Thanks Lindsy! THAT'S A FABULOUS IDEA! As long as a person can sit and not hunch over it, it would be good. Boy, you really have your thinking cap on. Yea Lindsy!!!!!!
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