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Somehow, A'Hallei knew, though the admission caused his heart to sink to his feet. What if Makenna had told him before they completed the deed? Would it have stopped him? Why had A'Hallei assumed Makenna was still the sweet, innocent boy who had left him?

Yes, WHY had he assumed that? What ever could have made him think this two-timing rat would remain faithful? DID Makenna even think about him when he jumped into the blue haired one's bed? Did the blue haired one even know that Makenna was taken already? Did it matter? He loved Makenna, but this hurt-- it hurt more deeply than he could ever have imagined. More than when his brother had taken Luke as a lover before him, more than when he was nearly raped.

He may not be normal, he may not be the most charming or outgoing individual, he may not even be mentally healthy, but it didn't mean he had to settle for this! Betrayed by the two he held the closest to himself, his pristine concience was tainted, used. He should have known, but Makenna would remember this for the rest of his life.

Something inside him snapped. A little tinny fibre that kept what shredded remains of his sanity intact broke and fell away.
'You idiot.' a voice chimed off to him, 'You should have asked before, you wouldn't have done it.' it mocked him.
'He doesn't need the blue one. Make his decision for him, take him, he's yours, forever and ever.' A different voice came in. A'Hallei doubled over in obvious pain.
'Take him, keep him, consume him.'
'He's dirty-- throw him away.'
'Obsidian's heart is as black as his soul. Black as Samsara.'

A'Hallei staggered to his feet, and walked to the wall, falling against it. With a pained cry, he dragged his hands across the wooden walls, leaving eight deep grooves underneath his fingers. A'Hallei's moan of anguish was low and haunting, raw with the acute pang of betrayal he felt now. He dropped to his knees, releasing a raspy sob.
"Makenna, I love you, I love you. What did I do to make you do this? Why did you let us...when you knew?"

Turning to glare in Makenna's direction, A'Hallei's eyes were completely black with hatred. The voices roared at him, to take Makenna for himself-- to not allow the teen the choice, but he loved him? Could he not see how much he...?

Orion's life was in danger. Everything now hinged on Makenna's answer to him.

"You're blaming this...ON MY BROTHER!?" A'Hallei roared. "YOU--"
A'Hallei bit his teeth together with a sharp click as his body tensed with the anger that flowed through him. Anyone else would have been mangled on the floor by now, but the care that he still held focused the hatred to the walls.
"I cannot believe..." He grit out between his teeth, pulling the shards from the wall. "I never once considered my brother over you, but obviously that was not something you...Considered! Never gave you...Any reason..."

Why had Makenna ever felt as though he wasn't enough? What reason had A'Hallei ever given him, other than doting on him every day, loving him, kissing and caring for him? He'd personally gone to Makenna's school to rid the bullies who terrorized him, he'd painstakingly gotten supplies and worked, and built the very house they lived in, and MAKENNA WAS BROKEN!?

"Did you know...Samsara wanted to take me from you...But I didn't let him. I fought my own brother to stay with...You and he nearly...Killed himself for it!"

"You never...even...tried...TO say any-thing!" A'Hallei's words were becoming more and more broken. He curled up closer to himself. There were so many things wrong with this he could not even begin.

"So you're admitting that your living with me was ruining your life because of my brother, though it isn't his fault. And it's somehow my fault that I didn't follow you when you left without telling me anything to interfere with your friendships, and you couldn't remember if our relationship was valid or not, so rather than returning and asking me, you jumped the gun and slept with Orion! Then you came back, still apparently having loved me still, and knowing I loved you, and let us sleep together without even intending to tell me of your infidelity. Somehow it was something you needed to figure out on your own, and even though it directly is involved with me, I should have just sat back and let you choose who was more important to you? Is that what you're saying to me?"

A'Hallei stopped his spasmic mauling of the walls and leveled a calm dark gaze at Makenna, seeing now just what all the so called facts were. Why couldn't he just admit at being an a*****e?
"You're right, I do see what is happening here. I see more clearly than I've seen anything else in my life. Now i'm giving you ten seconds to get your 'hurt' traitorous a** out of my house before I give you an ACTUAL reason to run for help."

A'Hallei coiled in pain. He didn't want to hurt Makenna. The voices raged against him, to strike him, take him claim him or kill him but he tamped them down but for the sheer unwillingness to repay the hurt that had been done to him unjustly.
"There is a difference between being commited, and being owned. You sure didn't mind my claiming you before." A'Hallei ground out.

"I don't hate you. I'm angry, and I'm jealous, and I'm trying to do everything I can to just make you leave because you obviously can't keep your priorities straight, and your playing both sides will only amount in pain. There are no more excuses for you."


A'Hallei jumped to his feet and darted to Makenna, pulling the dark teen into a crushing embrace.
"I love you." He whispered one last time as he lifted the smaller teen off his feet. A'Hallei walked to the hole in the floor that marked the door and stepped off into empty space.
The fall slowed like an eternity to him, as it would likely be the last time he'd hold Makenna in his arms, to him, so soon after he had thought all would be well between them. The illusions were shattered, the lies upheaved. In actuality, the fall took fewer than two seconds, and soon A'Hallei was carting Makenna a short distance to the treehouse before he set him down.

"Please, if you care about me at all, don't follow me back up. You can find your things afterward."

A'Hallei vanished back up the ladder into the treehouse.

Why couldn't Makenna see that he was everything to A'Hallei? He was more than he ever could have asked for, someone to live for, to stay sane for, to get dressed in the morning and leave to work for? Makenna was everything to him! A'Hallei maimed the ones who hurt him, he was out to build a house for him for cripes sake, but apparently it wasn't enough. Was it because he was nearly mute? That he couldn't spew lovey-dovey affections every moment of his existance? Makenna ended it for himself--by refusing to do the simple thing of making his choice, and admitting freely his mistake rather than shifting the blame all around.

But Makenna made it perfectly clear he neither regretted nor wanted to change what he had done. A'Hallei's only wish was that Makenna would treat Orion better, or that the blue haired one would learn better before his heart was crushed as well. A'Hallei felt so used, and that Makenna didn't truly care.

A'Hallei curled up among his broken things, with his broken mind and broken heart, surrounded by wood shavings. Nude, he let his hair fall about his body like a protective sheet, as he stared into the floor. None of this made any sense-- none at all. And he couldn't tell if it was the situation itself, or if his brain didn't allow himself to wrap his mind around it.

A'Hallei never asked nor wanted perfection-- hell-- he couldn't judge anyone, if he was any indication. He nursed Makenna through his non eating days-- he reassured him when he thought A'Hallei would grow over him and leave, but how did he repay him? By ignoring A'Hallei's affection and convincing himself he didn't deserve A'Hallei to give himself fair reason to leave-- and now, now he really didn't, but through his own actions.

A'Hallei was happy. Gods-- he was nearly euphoric if not content whenever Makenna was around, but Makenna was always uneasy, Makenna was always worried, and he claimed to love him.

The only thing Makenna could do to better himself in A'Hallei's eyes was to wake up and think, and realize what the hell he was doing. Dancing wouldn't help him be more logical.
A'Hallei heard the sobs below him, and it took all his willpower to keep from decending down to take Makenna into his arms, and kiss away the hurts and pains, and to tell him everything would be okay.
But he wasn't going to. Since when did the cheater have licence to cry and claim their spouse was at fault? He almost wanted to stab himself for trying to make Makenna realize the painful truth-- he was unfaithful with no good reason, and didn't regret his actions.

The wood was hard and smooth against A'Hallei's back and he pressed his pale form to the wall, something solid and reassuring behind him. Close his eyes and his ears, shut it out until it leaves. He'd think about what to do later...Did he still want to make the cabin in the woods, his little love nest? No, not really...Not right now.