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 Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 5:54 am
Quote: Quibbler Article: "Sirius Black: Mass Murderer OR Innocent Singing Sensation?" This has me ROFL when i first noticed it. Haha
Gosh i have a few favourites! which made me laugh so much. i love loads from TPS ^^ sorry for the long list wink all these had me ROFL
the philosophers stone
"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"
"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she [Mrs.Weasley] thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."
Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.
Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.
The chamber of secrets
Warlock D. J. Prod of Didsbury says: "My wife used to sneer at my feeble charms, but one month into your fabulous Kwikspell course and I succeeded in turning her into a yak! Thank you, Kwikspell!"
the prizoner of azkaban
Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?"
Ron: "I don't need help, it's obvious what this means: there's going to be loads of fog tonight."
"Professor Dumbledore - yesterday, when I was having my Divination exam, Professor Trelawney went very - very strange."
"Indeed?" said Dumbledore. "Er - stranger than usual, you mean?"
the goblet of fire
"Mad-Eye Moody?" said George thoughtfully, spreading marmalade on his toast. "Isn't he that nutter-"
"Your father thinks very highly of Mad-Eye Moody," said Mrs. Weasley sternly.
"Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he?" said Fred quietly as Mrs. Weasley left the room. "Birds of a feather..."
"Oh Professor look! I think I found an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"
"It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney peering down a the chart.
"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.
the order of the phoenix
Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around..."
"What do you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed. "What- am I supposed to be frightened of - pillows or something?"
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," said Hermione.
"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."
He [Slughorn] seemed remarkably unabashed for a man who had just been discovered pretending to be an armchair.
Pointing his wand at nothing in particular, he gave it an upward flick and said Levicorpus! inside his head.
"Aaaaaaaargh!"
There was a flash of light and the room was full of voices: Everyone had woken up as Ron had let out a yell. Harry sent Advanced Potion-Making flying in panic; Ron was dangling upside down in midair as though an invisible hook had hoisted him up by the ankle.
"Sorry!" yelled Harry, as Dean and Seamus roared with laughter, and Neville picked himself up from the floor, having fallen out of bed. "Hang on- I'll let you down-"
He groped for the potion book and riffled through it in a panic, trying to find the right page; at last he located it and deciphered one cramped word underneath the spell: Praying that this was the counter-jinx, Harry thought Liberacorpus! with all his might.
There was another flash of light, and Ron fell in a heap onto his mattress.
"Sorry," repeated Harry weakly, while Dean and Seamus continued to roar with laughter.
Why Are You Worrying about You-Know-Who?
You SHOULD Be Worrying About
U-NO-POO -
the Constipation Sensation That's Gripping the Nation!
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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 6:31 pm
my favioret are....
* You were seen! By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on Whomping Willow, that's been on these grounds since before you were born!
*your a perfect??? oh ronie thats everyone in the family-mrs. wealsye says that. what are fred and i next dorr neighbors???
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:58 pm
I'm not sure if me or anyone else put this up but...:
"Of course it is in your head Harry, but why does that mean it is not real?" Albus Dumbledore in Harry's mind.
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Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 12:11 am
" That's funny, you'd think I'd have stopped walking around." -Harry Potter
" I suppose next to you three, Voldemort was just a warm up?" -Harry Potter
" What's the matter? Afraid of your dad's mate's name?" -Harry Potter
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 11:05 am
Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?
mrgreen
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 11:25 am
::after half an hour of searching for the full quote::
“Seventeen, eh!” said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred.
“Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?”
“Vaguely,” said Harry, grinning up at him. “Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?”
“I forge’ the details,” Hagrid chortled.
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 3:34 pm
“Thing was they bit off a bit more than theycould chew with Gran. Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn’t need to send anyone particularly powerful. Anyway,” Neville laughed, “Dawlish is still in St. Mungo’s and Gran’s on the run.”
- Neville Longbottom
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 4:48 pm
What are you gonna do? Put us in detation? -George
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:07 pm
Lucius Malfoy: " I understand you narrowly escaped expultion."
Harry Potter: " I'm good at escaping."
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 3:59 pm
phantommangagirl I'll say it even though someone else already did: Mrs. Weasley: "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU b***h!" My mom absolutely loved that one...
Here's one:
"Does it hurt?"
"Dying? Not at all," said Sirius. "Quicker and easier than falling asleep."
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:38 pm
All the Potterwatch stuff was brilliant... Quote: "We have also heard...that Rubeus Hagrid... well-known games-keeper at Hogwarts School has narrowly escaped arrest within the grounds of Hogwarts, where he is rumored to have hosted a 'Support Harry Potter' party in his house. However, Hagrid was not taken into custody, and it, we believe, on the run."
"I suppose it helps, when escaping from Death Eaters, if you've got a sixteen-foot-high half brother?" asked Lee.
""It would tend to give you an edge," agreed Lupin gravely. Quote: "As our listeners will know, unless they've taken refuge at the bottom of a garden pond or somewhere similar, You-Know-Who's strategy of remaining in the shadows is creating a nice little climate of panic. Mind you, if all the alleged sightings of him are genuine, we must have a good nineteen You-Know-Whos running around the place."
"So people, let's try and calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That's a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that's glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into it's eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do."
...
"And the rumors that he keeps being sighted abroad?" asked Lee.
"Well, who wouldn't want a nice little holiday after all the hard work he's been putting in?" asked Fred. "Point is, people, don't get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he's out of the country. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but the fact remains that he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he want to... I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first!" rofl
Faster than Snape when confronted with shampoo!?!?
rofl
It's all from the last few pages of chapter 22, The Deathly Hallows. She does like to give chapters in the middle of the books the same title as the book itself, doesn't she?
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 4:50 pm
Now, my personal favorites have to be poor little Albus worried about his first year at Hogwarts... Quote: "See you later, Al. Watch out for thestrals."
"I thought they were invisible? You said they were invisible!" Quote: "Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.
"Don't let it worry you," said Ron. "It's me. I'm extremely famous."
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:33 pm
Harry Potter: " An interview. You know a reporter asks you questions and you answer them."
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:15 pm
right after i get a grasp for the german language, the last book comes out with some german in it! so i love these lines:
"Er wohnt hier nicht mehr! he no live here! i know him not!"
and
"Das weiß ich nicht! he move! i know not, i know not!"
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Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:16 pm
and of corse, a fav:
"NOT MY DAUGHTER; YOU b***h!"
yeah! XD most epic battle ever! two 40+ women! almost beat the final battle for coolness if you ask me! XD
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