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| What are your thoughts on critiquing? |
| YES!!! |
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48% |
[ 47 ] |
| Eh... |
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49% |
[ 48 ] |
| NO!!! |
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2% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 97 |
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:08 pm
((I'm not entirely sure where everybody is, so I may have to figure out exactly where I am later.))
A streak of fire plummeted downward towards the surface of the planet below. The comet spun like a top, whirling first one direction then the next, crossing several particular axis of interest exactly 342 times. The way anyone knew this would be found inside the comet.
Inside the burning escape pod, a living machine struggled with the controls, operating the maneuvering jets and opening small hatches to change the aerodynamics and attempt to align the craft forward. It wasn't working. With frustration, he took in every last bit of what he could see from space while he could. He did collect a fair bit of information, like the location of several major cities and just where exactly he would probably land, if the variable of winds (which, even knowing pressure, he couldn't predict) didn't affect him too much. Thankfully, it was far enough inland that he wouldn't have to bail from the escape pod. He probably would survive, but that was a chance he wasn't interested in taking.
Faster and faster it went, the instruments whirling, buzzing, and beeping. It was almost difficult for him to make sense of them all, but he monitored them and tried to make sure that what little was left of his vessel didn't explode on the trip downwards. A warning informed him that most of his heatshield had burnt off and he wasn't slowing down much. Another blaring siren told him that he wasn't doing so well in the stability department, thanks to damage to the remains. Yet another speaker informed him of some different technical difficulty. The one that was slowly getting louder was telling him one word: "Alititude." It was too late to stop it, or even slow it.
An explosion ripped apart a stretch of grass near a suburban neighborhood. People in houses screamed, ducked, as chunks of rock, dirt, grass, and metal broke through walls, destroyed cars, but miraculously injured nobody. No buildings lit on fire; no unrepairable damaged was done. In the aftermath, people went out to examine what had happened, seeing only a twisted hulk of metal in the center of their once-beautiful park. Flames came from almost every conceivable location onboard; smoke billowed high above.
Then, from within a partially shattered canopy of Plexiglas, something moved, and rather quickly. To avoid singing his coat, Mark leapt out, hoping no damage had been done. Everything appeared well... except for the fact that he was on an unknown planet, surrounded by beings who, although they too were humans, were entirely unknown and indubitably spoke an entirely different language. He wouldn't need much to survive, but it would be difficult to learn a language in a day. He could do it, he just needed someone to talk to him... a lot.
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:10 pm
[[You take the dodge or hit from the person that posted the attack, which in your case is Duck. She rolled a six, meaning you took six damage and have 14 HPs left. You take that six damage in your next post and roll if you're going to attack. You rolled a five, which means she takes five damage in her next post, have 35 HPs left, and will roll if she attacks in that same post. Understand?]]
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:12 pm
[[Yes. Iori - I am simply waiting for you to edit your post so I can see WHERE I got hit and respond accordingly.]]
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:12 pm
(( ok that makes lot more sense but i probably would of attacked anyway
lol sry bout that i was eating pizza and forgot to edit it ><))
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:13 pm
"you're just another thing to add on my list of things to understand, another thing on my list of confusion." Izzy stood up and walked to her room, to get her bow and arrows. When she returned, she went over to the window, and looked out at the empty street. "I was taught that elves, dragons, angels, demons, mythical creatures, they didn't exist. And neither did thigs like portas. I was taught, that there was one god, that cared for us and that they didn't want us to be extinct. Nendir proved all that wrong, and you just confirmed it. I've been stripped almost all of my knoledge of the world, it's all been proven wrong. There's nothing for my mind to grasp ahold of..." Izzy seemed overwhelmed at the realization that, everything she just said was true, and what made it harder, was that she had been stripped of her family. Not once but twice. She closed her eyes, and a tear ran down her face.
(( eek I missed alot while I was typing that..))
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:15 pm
[[Well, you don't have to attack. I've also given the option for a player to run away at anytime in the fight, and you can do other things like talk or think or stare. By the way... *POP* CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING THE FIRST TWO TO FIGHT!!!!!]]
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:28 pm
Ryn sighed, still leaning against the counter, watching Izzy, and thinking that he had no clue what he could possibly do to help the girl. Pushing himself up off the counter he walked across the floor, once again trying not to scratch it, and came up beside Izzy, glancing out the window.
"Sometimes the truth is harder to believe than lies, because the truth is so much bigger than any words we can use to describe it.", Ryn said softly and enigmatically, before scratching his neck with one long clawed finger and saying," I've found its easier for some people to get out of the darkness they feel they are falling into if they have someone who will listen... If there is anything you want to tell me, go ahead, and I will listen."
((You forgot to roll the dice razz and I don't think you can by doing a edit razz ))
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:30 pm
(( yea i was about to say that)
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:31 pm
[[Simple solution. Copy the written post, delete that post, and repost with dice! >.<]]
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:34 pm
((Does nobody notice the giant, angry, screaming fireball exploding on the ground somewhere? I wanted it to land near somebody...))
60/60
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duckie_mamoru rolled 1 10-sided dice:
4
Total: 4 (1-10)
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:35 pm
35/40
Masaru growled. The wound on her face was too big to be rid of by simply letting her face waver a bit. She willed her knife to return to her, and sent it slashing towards her opponent, simultaneously making slashing moments with her nails towards his neck and face.
[[Okay, rolling dice...(sorry I forgot ^#^)]]
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IoriYagami00 rolled 1 10-sided dice:
10
Total: 10 (1-10)
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:40 pm
10/20
Iori's left hand starts to burn with a purple flame after Masaru slashes at his throat. He quickly responds by swinging his arm forwards as purple flames engulf Masaru.
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:40 pm
((Well me, Izzy, and Nendir are all in Chicago, so I don't think we could see it...))
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:41 pm
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