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 Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:34 am
Yay for happy feets! I know mine are happier today since I don't think I'm going to move much from this chair today. XD
Mama Cat won't stop trying to jump on my shoulder and perch there like a bird. It's so cute but slightly painful and annoying because she also likes to do this when I'm at the computer, so all of a sudden her paw lands on the keyboard and it's all
dfhjgdjfghpe8945486794567666666666666666444444444444444444444444444444lolbbq
so Rand got some wine and he's all like HERE DRINK LOL. But I have heartburn and that stuff smells really strong. @____@
omg, glasses tomorrow! *DANCEDANCE!*
joo guys doing okay lately? <33333
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:33 pm
*rolls around in the thread* I'm in a weird sort of place, and have been for a few days. It's not a BAD place but it's not necessarily a fun place. It's just an odd place.
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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:01 pm
i haven't felt like myself for a month and some now, but there's nothing specifically wrong, i guess..
yay for your glasses though! being able to see is pretty handy xD
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Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 10:04 pm
Indeed! I rather enjoy the sense of sight.
I think my oddness is that feeling of limbo. I AM making progress but I feel like I'm wading chest-deep through quick-dry cement. I'm a little scared, but mostly worried about what's ahead, and wrapping up what's here.
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:15 am
That's kind of how it feels like to me. D: I think I am getting somewhere .. I mean, when I look at my big "list of things to do" I have at least crossed out a couple of things. I mean, I'm still not really where I want to be right now. I feel so morally conflicted every time I go to work. It kind of sucks having to numb yourself out as a human being when you go to work. I try not to think about what I'm handling, and what it used to be, but it's hard.
It's easier at home, because when I cook for others it's just normal amounts and not gobs and gobs and huge chunks of meats everywhere. ;___; I'm trying desperately to get into the bakery. I keep messing up when Victor, my boss, is around, because he's the boss and I don't want to look bad. Of course when he goes away I do fine. T___T But it still makes me feel like crap when I do something stupid, which I do all the freaking time. I just have such a problem with remembering things and numbers BECAUSE I keep having to block everything out, or I'll just fall down in a sobbing mess and not get up again.
I'm ranting, my bad. ;___;
i wish I could quit, but I told myself I wouldn't quit again no matter what. I don't want to be lazy. I don't want to dissapoint my family yet again. I never have time to look for a better job. T____T
but god i want out i want out i want out
[/end self-absorbed rambling] ninja
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:18 pm
I think you should ask about transferring to the bakery. Working with meat isn't going to get any more managable. At least with pastries and the like, there's no meat involved. If it's working with food in general that's the issue, just work as a cashier, or stocking stuff, or try something new entirely.
I'd never have guessed I'd like custom framing, but when the job opportunity presented itself I took it, and I ended up really liking alot about the job. Sure, there was stuff I didn't like, but that will be true for ANY job. There is no perfect job just waiting in the wings. You have to seize the most appealing or most rewarding opportunities.
I didn't mean to go off on a mini-tangent though. All in all, if you're unhappy working in a Deli, then change it.
As much as I hate to think about Ti Chan, she worked in a grocery store in a Starbucks (fancy East Coast store) and then was transfered to Deli, then to Bakery before she was eventually let go due to missing work (she broke a rib) and one too many complaints from customers. My point was though, when she grew tired of one option, she would transfer to another department, and she kept this job for a few years, so it worked well for her. If that isn't an option for you, cut back on your available hours at the Deli and use that 'extra' time to look for a new job. Just, with the job market as it is, don't quit the one you have, until you're sure you have the new one.
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:47 pm
I think I'll try to get some hours lessened .. it's so unfair because a girl that started with me is being allowed to work part time in the bakery. Even though I specifically asked to be in the bakery AND I told everyone there how much I'd rather be in the bakery. And I even proved that I can decorate cakes a little and take orders from the phone. So instead they give it to her. ;_;
(although honestly, I think that Victor just wants her out of the deli. She's kind of loud and um ... obnoxious? xD I mean she's nice and I'm friends with her, but the manager sees things from a profit point of view, I guess. x____x )
Yeah I definitely can't quit, even when I get mad or frustrated and want to cry (which happens often) I can't let it dictate my life in such a flippant way. ;___; I've let that happen before and I've lost so many jobs that way. And then suddenly I feel clear and normal and I'm like "oh. my. feckin. god. What did I just do???? gonk "
sorry for ranting and venting and stuff XB When I go in tomorrow I'm going to start seriously enquiring about getting into a different department. *nodnodnodnod*
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:11 am
Ohhh .. snap. ;___;
so I finally got my bleedin glasses
and I put them on and WHOOAAAAA they're freaky weird T__T
I mean, the glasses themselves are cute, but looking through them is scary. Everythings mostly sharper (not as sharp as my contacts) ... but also everything has this freaky blue and red aura. Like if you put those 3D glasses on when watching a movie. Everything LEAPS out at you like AHHH. X___X;;;
soooo .. >_<
I'll probably only where them when my contacts are bothering me, or some other emergency. And probably when I first start Accutane. Wearing the glasses makes me almost nausiated and dizzy. ;-;
but .. they ARE pretty cute xD
I'll get some pics up after work =D
for now I must crash. I'm so tired. ;___;
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:56 pm
Madame Pompadour (most of a post here..) the glasses makes me almost nausiated and dizzy. ;-; but .. they ARE pretty cute xD I'll get some pics up after work =D sorry, but that cracked me up. xD i knew what you meant, but oh lord, that was funny to me.
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 8:32 pm
Moose loffels for everyone <3<3<3 ive missed you guys
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:48 am
xD rofflmao .. I can't seem to put my words together lately. xd
so I decided to return my glasses and get my 225 dollars back. I just don't feel like dealing with it after all. It makes me sick looking through them, and when I feel sick I get panic attacks, and I am completely unable to function at all when I have a panic attack.
so yeah I'm gonna get contacts instead. I'm thinking about getting some colored contacts, like a subtle brown-green or violet-brown color. Maybe even blue. @.@ would they look weird on me? xD
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 7:00 pm
yay moose!!
i function surprisingly well during panic attacks xD i was freaking out for the entire hour of our driving lesson today. completely panicked and numb, but also nauseated, and i doubt anyone (except maybe kyu) could tell at all.
and i dunno that i've ever noticed people's eye colour xD i'm sure you'd look fine though, so long as you stuck to colours that aren't anime-bright and obvious. xD
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:57 pm
umm i dont function during panic attacks. i panic
and without my glasses i would cry for lack of sight.
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Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:47 pm
I'm with the Moose. A panic attack for me, most often means crying or shutting down entirely not unlike an autistic child who curls up in the fetal position with their arms over their face and hums loudly to block out the world. Only with me it's just sobbing, not humming. But, that's enough of that talk. @_@
Glasses are hard to get used to, especially if you haven't worn them in a long while. If you don't like them, and CAN get your money back, go for it. It took me about a week to fully adjust to my newer prescription.
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:17 pm
it took me a few weeks too. i think anyone should give them that long before deciding.
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