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 Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 5:56 am
well as a fellow 20 year-older xp
id be happy to listen if you need someone....
feel free to pm me if you wish....
but im warning you... i gotta go in a little bit.... dam funeral.... stare
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:00 am
It's ok dude. Thanks for offering. It's a very long story as it isnt exactly one thing. Just whole huge tumble weed of little and big things. ANd I'm talking got a friend anyway, even if he doesn't ever really respond woith more of a "I see" etc. xd
I hate funerals. Really can't stand them. Partly because I feel weird being in a place of god because I dont particuarially believe in him, and jsut the whole atmosphere of the event. Then again, who likes them?
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:05 am
lol i feel ya there.... but you should take solace in the fact that one day.. you will wake up and not give a dam.... and im telling you... its AMAZING!!
youll see colors you never noticed before... you'll hear birds singing again...
and funeral wise... TELL ME BOUT IT.... i got quite a few dirty looks because i didnt "bow my head for prary timiey" last night...
and im still surprised at myself... im taking it a little to well... im starting to feel like i have no heart left whatsoever...
[/edit] ill brb... i can hear the cinnimon toast crunch calling to me.. muuust.. obeeeeey....
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:12 am
I did you know. I woke up news years a new man and put everything behind me. Then A couple of things came up this week which have brought all the bad feelings back. just tipped me over again. You see im one of those types of peple who basically bottle everything up and never really release and then when they do its just his flood of negativity and emotion for varied amounts of time.
And why do you feel like you have no heart? Is it because you don't feel particualrily saddned by the death? If thats the case, don't worry too much. I'm the same. We jusst recently buried my grandmas sister. I didn't know her a great deal, mother even had to talk me into coming tio the funeral, and I wasn't particularilly saddned either, but I htink thats also jsut how I deal with things. As I said I bottle things. I mean I didn't even cry until everyone else was at the funeral. I dont normally get upset myself. Seeing others upset and in pain is what makes me upset. I hope that made some sense >.<
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:18 am
well... thats the problem... its was my great grandpa... i knew him my entire life.... i just feel... nothing... no pain, no sadness... and MY familys suffering has become somewhat of an enjoyment to me... (its an acquired taste)
but thats just cuz there asses....
all this week ive had people asking if i was ok.... and i really am.... and thats whats worrying me...
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:22 am
My grandad died not too long ago also. My mother and brother went to New ZeaLand where he lived for the funeral. I staed at hoime becasue I told my mother If I went I'd feel like I was going so I could go to NZ not for the funeral. Plus I didn't want to burden her with the extra cost. BUt I never really felt anything either. I think people just take thigns differently. It's hard to explain the feeling, but I don't htink it means you have no heart.
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:25 am
i just feel sorry for my friends that are going with me... they never grew up in a church family..... so today will be quite a shock for them...
but i am kinda thankful.... i wont be the.. only non christian there. xp
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:28 am
xd Yeah. Fair enough. Friends can be very helpful. I find I am my happiest when with fends. WEther we are just bludging some palce or actually furfilling plans doing something. Hopefully they'll bring you comfort too.
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:32 am
ya... and hopefully they bring me booze afterward.... im gonna need it with my family...
gramps isnt even in ground yet and they've started fighting over his possessions stare
EDIT: BTW you know your link in your signature is broken right?... now its just a big tease mrgreen
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:36 am
Wow, luckily we've not had the misfortune or at least I have noticed any fighting over stuff.
And yeah I noticed the video was removed the other day. Didn't even think about my sig xd *goes to fix*
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:40 am
ya... my family is REALLY shallow.... and they wonder why the first time the saw me was last night at his showing rolleyes
i just stay as far as humanly possible from them and it seems to work whee
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:46 am
I see. That must be hard. (In an emotional way I mean, not the physcical act of staying away).
And I fixed my sig ^.^
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:52 am
not really... i dont bother with them.... they usually dont bother with me...
i just hang out with my friends all the time... that makes up for it mrgreen
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:55 am
And you know ive just bee sitting here watching some videso on youtube and im feeling much better. I've found that too. Watching dvds and stuff distracts me from my problems a lot and makes me feel better ^.^
Edit: Ah Well, I'm starting to fall asleep now. Bed time I think. Talk to you later dude ^.^
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:24 am
*sits in middle of thread till someone shows up*
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