Welcome to Gaia! ::

Tim let himself be picked up and carried, laying on the couch before turning his back to the rest of the living room. He loved Daren, but he couldn't bring up the courage. The man didn't love him, there was no inkling of that. Daren could have sex with them, but he didn't love them. That's how he was, Tim guessed. Simply polite, doing his job. Tim was probably clinging and not letting go, no doubt it annoyed Darren.

"My head's fine, thanks." he mumbled, though truthfully it was starting to pound, "I just need a drink." preferably something alcoholic so he could stop feeling. Absinthe or moonshine maybe. "You can set the water down."

"So?" he questioned softly, moving down the couch pillow so he could rest his head on it. "I like the numbing of the drink. I can pretend I feel something else. It doesn't interfere with my work, I can still function normally. 'What happens inside of the house does not leave it.'" he smiled a bit, "I told myself that with Andrew, and with Jason, for work. It works just fine."

"I've still got my emotions so it'll take a while for me to be like you." he said snarkily, "I'm not yet a bitter old man wh-" and shut himself up immediately, knowing that territory was far too dangerous to venture in to. Daren would tell Tim about his wife and kid maybe never, but he didn't know Tim knew. "I won't become like you. I've seen far less tragedy."

Tim stared at the worn fabric of the couch at Daren's question, knowing how to respond but unsure if he wanted to respond that way. "No." he said softly, "No, Jason doesn't know about that. We broke up because," he hesitated, taking a breath, "because of how strongly I feel for you. I liked Jason, but, I didn't love him. Not as much as I do you and he knew that. So, it wasn't your fault, Daren. Don't think that." and went quiet again. That was off of his chest, and Daren was awake this time to hear it. Tim wished he could ignore any words the officer would speak next, curling up more, waiting for the rejection. It had happened once before it would happen again.

Tim couldn't hide a chuckle. Wasn't it Daren who said to admit your feelings so you know whether they like you back or not? How painfully ironic.

Tim's knees were touching his chin at this point, arms moving to cover hsi ears and face as Daren started his talking. It was impossible. He shouldn't. He was drunk. How could he love someone as crazy as Daren? "I've loved you since the aquarium!" he shouted, stopping the man from continuing, "At least, I think I have, I don't know when it happened." the tears were burning at his eyes once more, "You were always so nice, and you kept your promises and you never hurt me on purpose. And... and I like it when you touch me, and hold me, because I feel safe. Even though I've been hurt!" he stopped Daren from anything he was about to say, "Even though I've been hurt, even though you've made mistakes, you've never hurt me. I know you're going to save me. When you came back I was really so happy, I never told Jason you came back I was afraid, because he's the only stable relationship I've had and," he was crying again, moving his glasses off of his face to wipe at the tears, "And I was afraid he'd drop me so quickly knowing you were back, because it's so hard to hide how much I love you. Because it hurts, Daren, you're the only person I trust with my life but I know you can't love people."

he took a shuddered breath, trying to calm himself down, "and you always say, that night, that you did it to me, but you didn't. I was only half asleep and I knew you were sleeping, so I took advantage of you." the sob racked his body, calm dying quickly as he continued to blubber and cry. It might have been the alcohol, but he admitted it, and now it hurt worse, so much worse, because Daren couldn't reciprocate his feelings. Maybe he just loved Daren because he was broken like Tim was, and that's what they had in common, that's why Tim clung and loved him. But he couldn't stop. He wasn't even sure they could be friends after this, because being so close yet so distanced was too much to handle, too much pain. He just felt safe with the man, liked his company, loved his company, his thoughts, he loved Daren but Daren was a stupid a*****e who couldn't love him back.

The red-head listened, at first without much interest but slowly he was paying attention. Everyone Daren loved died, so he didn't want Tim to die. Couldn't tell Tim. The man sat up and looked at the man, tanned fists against blue eyes as the unsteady inhales pushed him further into panic. "So it's okay for you to leave me?!" he shouted, "This way if it does happen you can play dumb?! 'Oh, Tim died but I wasn't there to see it so it wasn't my fault!'" he grabbed the pillow he was using and hit Daren with it. How could this man, he'd never shown any sign of loving Tim and now...

"Plus you love Anna and Tarte and their kids, right?!' he swing the pillow again, "They haven't died yet! The only time they died was when you left without warning!" he continued to hit, slowing down before bringing the pillow close to himself to hug, looking at the man before burying his face into the fabric. "I'm not going to die." came the muffed voice, "I'm stronger now, and I know how to fight. I'm not going to die anytime soon Daren everyone keeps preventing me." he gave a weak chuckle at that, "I guess we're not supposed to die then, huh?" because it sounded like Daren had tried to kill himself too at some point, but people prevented it.

"Just stop trying to force me away, Daren." came the small response, "even by leaving that's forcing me away." He looked up, giving a small smile and shook his head, reaching for the glass on the coffee table. "I think I'll drink this water first. I've had far too much alcohol for a Saturday morning." and raised the glass in a small cheer before sipping it. "You enjoy your sleep, Daren. I'll sleep here on the couch so you have your space." He didn't mean to say that last part out loud, but Daren probably needed it after both of their outbursts.

Tim looked surprised at how out of character Daren was, but nodded and smiled. "I'll be here on the couch. You don't need to worry." The poor man was so vulnerable after admitting that, it made sense for him to be worried. Tim just continued sipping his water. He wasn't going to nap, instead he looked around the apartment and began to clean, hitting Daren's fridge first and throwing away all old food. He washed dishes and wiped down the counters before moving on.

Tim didn't deserve a nap, not after being a drunken fool. Hopefully it was clean enough for Daren's tastes. "Apple you need to stop hoarding your toys behind the televsion." he murmured as the flat screen was turned, pulling out the fake mice and feathers.