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 Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:36 am
*clears throat* Reading the rules is a good thing.
5. No talk that is abusive towards children. You will IMMEDIATELY be banned from this guild, have your offensive post deleted, and reported to a Gaia Mod. So don't say s**t like, "Just beat your kid if he acts stupid." If you say things like this, then I hate you.
EDIT: Ignorance to the rules does not make you exempt from them. Everyone please make sure you understand what the guild rules are. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:48 am
*hugs luna*
I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a 2 year old. I hope the mother will accept your support. Even if she doesn't want to talk, maybe some meals that she can freeze and then stick in the oven or microwave when she needs then might be a big help.
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:56 am
Yeah, I'm trying to think of what I can make for her to freeze. I emailed my hubby and it really helped what he wrote back to me even if it was from a religious point of view, it was very sweet what he wrote.
Rules are a good thing, it is important to read them.
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:03 am
Casseroles usually freeze well and so do pastas with sauce. The Gaian Gourmets and Cook Guild might have some ideas for you. I know how much help decent meals can be when you're grieving. When Tet's brother died, the family got a bunch of food right away, mostly deli trays, fried chicken, and sweets. We got so sick of those things, but none of us felt like cooking. Then one of Tet's great-aunts brought over a chicken and rice casserole about a week after the funeral. It seemed like the nicest thing ever because we hadn't really eaten well in so long.
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:21 pm
Casseroles are usually a safe bet. But if you have the money, put together a fruit basket type of thing. Something quick, easy, and healthy that doesn't have to be frozen. I hope your friend is doing well all things considered. I won't even try to imagine her pain, just pray for her as best I can.
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:47 pm
lunashock: Fruit salads usually keep all right for at least a week in the fridge. I used to make a huge one on Sundays and then take portions to work for lunch throughout the week. Here's what I'd throw together:
Diced apples (Fuji apples = the bomb), canned mandarin orange sections, seedless green and red grapes, sliced strawberries, diced cantaloupe, diced honeydew, and canned peach cubes. You can add some brown sugar if you want, and then mix it all up with lemon juice to help keep the apples from going brown. This might be a nice switch from casseroles.
I'm just cringing from the very idea of losing my son. I have no idea what to say except that my prayers are with her and you.
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 1:36 pm
Thanks, I like the fruit salad idea. I'm getting more of the details as we speak, there was nothing they could have done to prevent it. It's still so hard for her. I got an email back from my husband, even though I'm not religious, I thought it was sweet the words he offered for her.
I'm working out arrangements for a babysitter to go to the rosary and funeral, I don't think I want Logan to experience that.
But yeah, I'm trying to focus positive for her and myself, thanks everyone for the ideas, it's really helpful. heart
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 4:32 pm
I can't even begin to imagine what your friend is feeling Luna. It's good that she has people to rally round her, she'll need plenty of support.
The idea of taking food around is great, and I have a couple more suggestions.
When my dad died, a family friend bought these beautiful little blank book and pens. She brought one over for each of us, didn't say anything, just left them out. I ignored it at first but eventually I wrote in it all the time, and it really helped. I still have it somewhere.
Besides bringing food, people came and did laundry so we had clean clothes, they put flowers out and burnt scented candles- little things that made our environment a bit nicer.
Your friend might not notice any of this stuff that you and others do for her at the moment, but at least you will know she isn't sitting alone in the dark, and later when she can think she will be grateful that you were there.
Strength to her, and to you for playing the support role right now. You're a good friend. heart
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:31 pm
I have to say that probably the best piece of advice that I've ever heard, and now that I've been trough it I have to agree is this:
During the first week or so, there will be several around to help out. Make sure you are seen, but let others help where they want. The really important time is about a week afterwards. Almost everyone who was there to show support and comfort is gone. That is the time that the family REALLY needs someone around to help.
Like kmartiza mentioned, my great-aunt brought food over about a week later (though it just happened to be my granddad's birthday, so it was a doubly nice thing since it was his birthday dinner). I think that the thing about it that was the biggest help was that it came at a time when nobody felt like doing anything yet. Being good for us didn't hurt either.
I suggest perhaps the fruit salad for now, and if you possibly can do something like lasagna or something that is easy and can easily be frozen to take over to them in about a week.
Remember that for this first week, and for a good amount of time to come but especially this first week, they will be losing quite a bit of salts and minerals from their systems. They will really crave and actually need salty things. And don't under-estimate the power of a good scrambled egg at this time. It helps replace most of the nutrients that are lost quickly during the heavy greaving process. kmaritza got almost sick of fixing eggs for my parents. It sounds like eggs as a comfort food would be really funny, but apparently it works for a lot of people when they try it. I remember my mother laughing the night my brother died when someone offered to scramble her an egg, but for the next couple of weeks that about all my parents really wanted. sad
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:51 pm
Using up my limited minor one time advertising in Main Chat... My New Avatar/OC art shop: It's Not Anime
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 3:34 pm
Also, on the meals to deliver thing...
If they have a crock pot, give them a crock pot mix - pre-assemble everything in a big disposable tupperware (say everything for chili or split pea soup or chicken and dumplings). Then all they have to do is toss it in the crock pot all day and eat it whenever. That's what I did the first few weeks after Walter was born.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 1:31 pm
HI! Hello there! Can we pay attention here for a whole three seconds? I'm afraid that the b***h Goddess aspect of me has reared her ugly head. I'm begging for something here, and I don't normally beg. So do me a favor before I go postal.
CHECK YOUR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR!!!
I understand if English is not your first language. Hell, I understand the occasional typo. We all have them. But the blatant rape and murder of the language going on lately is enough to make my eyes bleed!!! STOP IT!!!!!
In a further related rant.
READ, REMEMBER, AND FOLLOW THE FARGING RULES!!!
*This message not intended for all members of the guild.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 1:37 pm
Thank you Illy, marry me? heart
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 1:39 pm
lunashock Thank you Illy, marry me? heart But of course! I don't think Izzy would mind. lol. I'm just glad I'm not in trouble yet. One can only hold their tongue for so long.
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 8:49 pm
URG! I am so frustrated! Phoenix was a brat this morning. He was going into respite (he adores the guy providing care) and it took a good half-hour to convince him to put his shoes and socks on. The TV had to be turned off, and all the kids were told to get ready, even though the girls still had a good 45 minutes. He didn't help his sisters clean up, and he put on clothes he was told he could not wear minutes before. Part of it is because SOMEONE didn't give him his medication until late, and when they did, they gave him the 15mg dose instead of his 20mg dose.
*Sorry, in need of a good rant.
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