Welcome to Gaia! ::

"What da ******** does dat mean? Ya gonna rip on how I eat now?"

As snapping as that commented sounded, Jamal looked puzzled and took a moment to examine his steak, realizing then how rare it was. Well, that certainly wasn't intentional... It was satisfying his hungry and that's damn near all he cared about (or rather, the tiger cared about). That and Jamal refused to believe he wasn't as in control as he though he was. In truth, while the physical changes had been simplistic and rather mellow when compared to other islanders, the mental changes were much more drastic and refined, the tiger instincts sliding in and out without him hardly noticing a shift. It didn't help that Jamal was already a crude, potentially violent man either, so he wouldn't think much about wanting to cause someone harm if the tiger wanted it. It wasn't out of the ordinary.

Ambrose's second statement made him growl and he gave the younger man a sarcastic, exaggerated leer and held out his arms to show off the paler skin. "I wasn't aware dat Michael Jackson been an option fo' a serum," he spat bitterly, shooting Zach a look to see if he was aware of Moreau's evildoing. The fact that he hadn't run away yet at the sight of Ambrose made him believe that he knew what was going on, but the guy still looked nervous. "What 'zactly do you consida' a GOOD animal? One dat makes your nails pop off ya fingers ta make room fo' claws o' one dat makes ya spout three tails from yo' a**?" he questioned heatedly, shoving his plate away as his appetite suddenly curbed at the transformation talk.

"Oh, yes... and each time it only gets worse." He gave a nervous chuckle. There was little need in saying it to Ambrose - the wolf-man seemed a good ways into his transformation and could attest to that himself.

The verbal battle between the two was a little awkward. Zach caught the knowing glance of Jamal. Yes, Zach knew damn well what was going on at this point. The sensitivity of the guy to even the simplest little comment made by Ambrose was odd though. He tried to intervene by pulling Jamal into their conversation. He directed his voice toward the steak-eater. "Yeah, I've been told. I'm sorry for you, and Ambrose as well. This is beyond unethical."

His mention of Antony's transformation, however, caused Zach to blush a little bit. It was hard to forget seeing a girl with three tails... among other things.

He turned his head back to Ambrose again. "Oh no, no. I'm just not much of a meat eater, I guess. I don't know why I picked this up."

He wondered if either of these two could answer the question he was desperate to get Em an answer to - the current status of Moreau. Alive? Dead? Which was more preferrable of the two possibilites, he was loath to think.

Ambrose nodded to Zach. From his first impression of Zach, at least he seemed like a decent, rational individual. He barely even took account of the fact the man was missing an arm- no strange looks graced the empty sleeve. Ambrose had dealt with so much on the island that such a 'mundane' disfigurement was no object meriting a stare.

Ambrose made a gesture to rub at his temples at Jamal's outburst. Was he innately offensive to this individual? "I just meant...." He sighed. "Nevermind. No offense was intended, Jamal. Merely an observation and I was attempting to be supportive. I know a lot of people - myself included - who have a very rough time after the transformation... looking in the mirror and seeing a different face looking back. And not even one that looks human."

Ambrose looked to Zach. "Please, don't let Jamal scare you. Some of us at least still cling to the basic tenants of human decency." Ambrose said quietly, twirling his steak knife in one of his hands pointedly.

"And good for Awen. .. she was looking pretty down last I saw her - but more power to her for rolling with the punches. I don't know if I would have such solidarity with how different she's becoming."

Ambrose cocked his head. "Antony..? Really? She changed as well?" Antony, other than Angelina and the very newcomers was the only other person who hadn't changed yet. His thoughts returned to ANgelina.... she felt so out of place, why hadn't she changed yet? Not that he wished that fate on her.... "Well... Cassidy is growing feathers... even though she's a serpent..."

Most of what Ambrose said had unnoticed because his irritation had reached a crest right then when Ambrose gave, what the black man saw, as a disguised jab at Jamal's actions. Some of the wording he didn't understand, so that didn't help either, but Jamal knew what decency meant and that Ambrose was trying to make him look like a savage. Jamal's jesting manner abruptly dissolved, his mood swinging sharply as he shoved his chair away in mid-growl, a clawed hand grabbing for the steak knife on his own tray.

He forgot completely about Zach for the moment, which was probably good for the newcomer, and gave Ambrose a look that would have been lethal if it could be as physically sharp as the knife clutched in his hand.

"Ev'ryone best hope dat I don't lose what 'decency' I got left," he snarled viciously at Ambrose as he hunched over the table with one palm down on the table's surface and the knife pointed at Ambrose without the faintest sign of quiver. "It's takin' all I got ta not come over this table righ' now jus' cause it might give you some satisfaction ta think you know what kinda person I be. Ain't no one on this goddamn island know me betta' then Antony 'n' Awen. You think you know ev'rythin' 'bout ev'rythin'...spoutin' bullshit makin' it sound like this place ain't a ********' livin' nitemare. Maybe you learned how ta be fake back wit' your own people, but this brotha' don't play dat game. I ********' know betta'. He got a right ta know how shitty things be herr!" The knife swung around to point momentarily at Zach before it was again leveled at Ambrose.

For a moment, it looked as though he was going to complete disregard his refusal to come after Ambrose with his newfound weapon, but instead he gave a hissing exhale and turned on a heel to stalk out of the cafeteria WITH the knife, tension clearly visible across his neck and shoulders.

Guh. After the rant, Jamal just walked out of the cafeteria with a knife in his hand? Perhaps the safest place would be here, where he wasn't. But silently, Zach agreed with him. Personally, he preferred the truth over a lie. To imagine this place as an elaborate gag simply wasn't sensible any more.

"Probably not the same, but I've seen a few involuntary reactions from some of the people I've met." You know, quick-flicking tongues, bristling tails, the usual around here. "Maybe the people who lose control are better off. Lucky them, that they have no idea what they're doing. I guess I'd like the same ignorance sometimes..."

He paused to take another small bite of hamburger.

"Ever since I was told of Duvert's scheme, I've been hoping the entire island was just as against this... this experiment... as Jamal, but there are probably a few ambivelant people, or even ones who are all for it." The emotion in his voice was cold at the last mention. "I'm terrified of this... all of it."

"Well, I look at it this way - you wouldn't even know it if it happened." He cast a sidelong glance at his notebook. There, not in himself, was his humanity. Those written words were him, in some ways. "Without memories, there wouldn't be grief to mourn."

He straightened up a little. "But then again, I'm a notorious pessimist..."

He listened to the story. Ambrose had a life, infinitely valuable to those close to him. This laboratory yanked him from it, and he had lost everything. "The first..." How awful. Ambrose no doubt had to watch as all those who came to the island changed before his eyes. At the same time, he balanced his loss of his way of life. Zach was amazed the guy had held out so long on nothing, mentally. What an existence.

"Ambrose, you're not a freak." He felt a wave of pity for the wolf-man. Ambrose had a family somewhere, waiting for him, pining. The guy didn't deserve this torture. "You're a person. A human being. This fur, these changes, whatever the hell they plan to do to you means nothing as long as you know that it isn't who you really are."

He failed to realize that those words were easier said than believed.

"I can't really let go of my pessimism. I've never had all that many good moments to give me optimism. I don't feel sorry for myself so much as I fear for my sanity during those times." He shrugged his shoulders. "About the only positive thing I can rely on is a story my parents told me as a kid about how my family line is - this is going to sound silly - descended from King Arthur. I like to believe it. It's a nice thought."

"Oblivion's always ahead of us. We just choose when to accept it." He gazed down at his hamburger. "I guess there's always some worth in memories though..." Some memories. Not all. There were some Zach never wanted to keep enduring.

"Oh... oh yeah..." He couldn't imagine a different scenario for Ambrose if he were to suddenly show up in San Francisco like that. If Zach hadn't had a good amount of shock from this island himself, he'd regard Ambrose the same way, and he knew it. Sabin, Moreau... they'd pay someday. Fate couldn't avoid them for long.