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 Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:53 pm
It was my ex who I had stayed friends with...mostly out of a desire to show him what he was missing and make him take me back.
I had really low self esteem coming off of that relationship because he was very verbally and emotionally abusive, so it took me a year before I felt worthy of looking at and dateing another guy.
When I told the ex that I was dating someone else and that it was making me happy, we were hanging out at the blues club we met at every week. When he walked me to the my car he grabbed me and kissed me...the thing was that I had tried plenty of time after we broke up to kiss him in that way and he had turned me down, so for him to suddenly do it in that manner I knew it was him trying to accert control again.
Luckily at that time I had pulled away from him emotionally enough to see it for what it was and not him falling in love with me again...which he was only in love with controling me not the person that I am.
Moral of the story...never date ageing used to be rockstars with issues...
I had to realize who I was and stand up for myself...not in a physical way, but be willing to break ties from people who were bringing me down and not helping me be who I am. Loving me for that and not wanting to change it.
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:02 am
 Oh. I see. But, the thing is, I am willing to give up everything for my ex-fiance... emo
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:14 am
Is he willing to give up everything for you?
I was willing to give up everything for my ex, and he wasn't willing to give up anything for me.
I had to reach a point where I had to decide if beating my head bloody on a brick wall was worth it or not. There is only so much you can give with out getting anything back...very unhealthy for you.
Leaving my ex behind was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I thought that there would be no one that could ever thrill and complete me the way he did.
I found out that he actually did neither for me.
The man that I eventually found and married, loves me for who I am. He's given up things for me as I have for him.
I think I appreciate my husband more for knowing what sort of selfish a*****e some men can be in a realtionship, so for that I do thank my ex...but other than that I stay away from him.
In fact that last time I saw my ex was at the funeral of one of his band members that I had been good friends with. He hadn't seen me in 2 years. He spent the whole time talking about himself and didn't ask 1 question about me. I even gave him opening too and he kept on like I hadn't spoke. I truely made me see that I had made the right desicion.
Again...this is only my expirience...
With my ex I cut myself everyday and thought of dieing...
With my husband I love myself and am excited for the next day....
In my opinion that is a good measure of whether a realationship is good for you or not.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 7:24 pm
*sigh* Okay, so this is really frustrating me, I just need to let it out.
There's this one RP I'm handling on a different site, and, well... someone's just begun to take the reigns on EVERYTHING. Said person's been making major decisions in the RP and doesn't even bother consulting me about it before implementing it, and everyone else just goes along with it. I made a post in said RP stating my opinion but I got completely ignored and they went through it anyway.
Now I'm contemplating leaving the damn thing. Which sucks for the RP because I control about... 4 characters, all pretty much involved in the plot. And no, not entirely because I'm bitter about what happened. There are other things that've put a damper on my interest, like one person controlling about... 1/3 of the characters in the roster (not much variety), I can barely keep up with their pace, and I just can't see much point in devoting time for it anymore.
Ahhh, I dunno... Maybe this is just a temporary thing. But it's really getting to me.
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 10:03 am
No. He doesn't even know if he wants us to be friends after Graduation...
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:22 am
Nii Amikasame *sigh* Okay, so this is really frustrating me, I just need to let it out.
There's this one RP I'm handling on a different site, and, well... someone's just begun to take the reigns on EVERYTHING. Said person's been making major decisions in the RP and doesn't even bother consulting me about it before implementing it, and everyone else just goes along with it. I made a post in said RP stating my opinion but I got completely ignored and they went through it anyway.
Now I'm contemplating leaving the damn thing. Which sucks for the RP because I control about... 4 characters, all pretty much involved in the plot. And no, not entirely because I'm bitter about what happened. There are other things that've put a damper on my interest, like one person controlling about... 1/3 of the characters in the roster (not much variety), I can barely keep up with their pace, and I just can't see much point in devoting time for it anymore.
Ahhh, I dunno... Maybe this is just a temporary thing. But it's really getting to me.
Tell him to stop, or just make some major decisions with your own chars to steer the story the right way.
That's what I would do, anyway.
Except I never had an rp that went very far.
The furthest I went was a Pokemon rp that spanned 14 pages, and that was because the rpers were pretty tolerant XD
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 12:31 pm
I actually just went for giving her ownership of said RP, and she gladly took it. Well... it takes effect only after Christmas though. I guess it's a good thing sorta since that particular RP's starting to feel like unnecessary pressure for me as of late. And it's getting dull.
Hey, 14 pages be good! <3 As for mine, we got almost 700 posts in (that includes the occasional OOC) ever since I took over. RP wasn't originally mine; it was passed on to me.
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 2:52 am
Just a follow-up on the RP vent-ish thing. So as I've said in the previous post, I've given ownership of said RP to the person. And over the course of two days she's asked me to make a banner for her, and asked if I wanted someone else to play my characters for me for a while because apparently I'm not active enough.
b***h is pissing me off. Excuse my French.
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 2:53 am
=( *hugnii*
Nao I feel bad for controlling two of the major characters gonk *feels like a control freak*
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 2:58 am
No no, this is different. She basically went like, "Oh hai! So someone wants to flirt with your character for a bit, but you haven't like posted in TWO DAYS, so would you like someone to fill in your shoes for you?"
Yeah. Not gonna happen.
EDIT: "Oh, and make me a banner while you're at it."
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:11 am
I should probably mention that in that particular RP waiting time between posts is usually 1-2 days. So I can hardly consider myself "inactive". And she asks for someone to fill in for me for not being able to post within that time? Jesus... That's downright rude.
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:45 am
...ROFL
Aww, nii =< *hug* Stupid people, huh?
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 4:00 am
Overzealous is what I'd rather call it, but yeah. *hug* ono
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:56 pm
WHY. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE COMPLAINING.
Okay, so this is an entirely different thing... I'm supposed to be in class now to take a sort of "grade booster" for a subject I'm not doing too well with. But... I decided not to go. Why? Because I need to pack, get a couple of commissions done, get all my studying materials ready for the trip, type up my entry for sisky's Naruto cosplay contest, and write a post for the RP I mentioned before.
Yeah, I'm shaking in my boots. I hope I come out of this alive. emo
EDIT: Aaaand I find out that the trip gets canceled. =u=;
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:17 am
I'm now frantically running around my house, trying to pack my clothes and do last min cleaning. I don't know why I always wait till the last minute to do this, but never fail I always do.
To make things worse, I'm currently obessing over 1 shirt I can't find and because I can't find it I now MUST have that shirt go with me... Sometimes I want to lock myself into a loony bin for a couple of days. sweatdrop
*packpackpack cleancleanclean washwashwash*
I'm now off to charge the DS so I can play the Zelda game my sweetheart gave me for my gift this year!!!
What's that....no, I'm not procrastinating...it's very important and need to be done 3nodding
-5 hours later-
"Oh crap!!!! I still have clothes to wash and packing to do!! burning_eyes "
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