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 Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 4:11 pm
"Wavy can be nice if it's just a little shorter. Get it styled... I'll take you to a good place in town, alright?"
She kissed him, and looked at the television. She could see their reflection in the darkness of the screen. The light was pale and low, and outside the world was still a bit dark from the storm. She was warm, clean, and Nat was, too. They had each other and comfort, which made her smile.
"Right now, though? This is nice..."
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 4:46 pm
Nat nodded to the idea of getting his hair cut, and smiled at her smile.
"It is...I jsut-...." He furrowed his brow. "I feel...terrible Teagan...." He sat up a little, rubbing his forehead. "I mean...I'm kind of in shock. I figured I'd be hitchhiking my way into town to try to save up enough money for a new ticket. I wanted to clear the air and let you know what you meant to me, and why I was leaving. I never dreamed you'd forgive me... do ...do you?" He asked softly, looking up to her.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 4:55 pm
Teagan put true thought into what her answer would be. On one hand, he was terrible for even thinking of leaving, let alone actually getting close to doing it. But, he had apologized, come back, and said he loved her. That weighed things out, too.
"Only if you promise never to do something so stupid ever again, and," she said, already gearing herself for conflict. "And you drop the drugs."
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:09 pm
Nat slipped his arm out from behind her sighing deeply as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he hung his head in thought.
He knew this was going to come up eventually. And he knew what he was going to do to an extent. He'd do anything for her. He knew he'd even give up drugs in a heart beat. But it wasn't that simple.
"It isn't that simple..." He vocalized, still looking at the floor as he thought. HE had a real problem, he knew that. It was a serious addiction that couldn't just be dropped like that. He had tried many times before. All it really did was make him irritable and violent from withdraw, as well as seriously sick with fever and cold sweats. He didn't want her to see him go through that, and he wasn't too fond of the idea himself.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:17 pm
"Nat..."
Teagan knew it wasn't easy to go cold turkey on something that Nat was addicted to. He needed help, but cutting down on the drug was still taking it.
"You know I can fight back if you get cranky. We can find something else to do, to take it off your mind, or... something."
She looked to the side of her with kind eyes. The frustration she'd feel with him would come later if he did decide to quit, since she knew it would be a difficult road.
"...could you just try?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:27 pm
Nat sighed again, rubbing his face for a moment before glancing at her then away again. There was a long pause as he thought about it for some time, furrowing his brow. He finally stood, and without a word, walked over to where he had dropped his pack. He had just had it open to get his pajamas so he simply reached into the bag, pulling out the little old crinkled up bag that was rolled shut so tightly and tied witha rubber band.
He brought i back over to where Teagan was sitting, looking down at it a moment longer before holding it out to her. "Hold it for me...dont get rid of it just yet. For a lot of reasons...I'll-...I'll try. But I think you'll be wanting me to light up after awhile..." It was meant as a joke, but something about his solemn worried face and shaking hands gave him away. He didn't like who he was between highs. And the only reason he liked being so out of it was because it meant he wouldn't hurt anyone emotionally or otherwise...
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:36 pm
Teagan took the small pack in her hand. Just the weight of it emotionally made her feel like she was sinking further into the couch, but she stood and without another word, went into the other part of the house to hide it.
She knew exactly where to hide it, too. In the kitchen, in the highest cabinet, was where she kept her mason jars for canning. Teagan chucked the bag inside at the jars like a carnival game. The bag landed inside one of the jars in the far back, and not even she knew exactly where it landed.
There wasn't any prize to be won, though.
Teagan came back into the living room and reclaimed her place by Nat. Her face didn't show it with her steady smile, but the idea of what they were facing rattled her.
"We'll work through this together."
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:42 pm
Nat was still staring down at the ground, his face stern and hard. But when he looked up at her, he tried to smile. He took a hand behind her neck, pressing his forehead against hers. Though he said nothing, not sure of what to say. Other than eh was very doubtful, and hoped this wasn't going to be the start of the last few quiet, intimate moments they shared before he started to go crazy.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 5:49 pm
There was so little to say on it. They both knew that this would be hell, and Teagan knew especially that she had to be ready for anything that came her way. Drugs in Veratia were powerful, despite this one only being for a high. Nat was hooked, and that was all that mattered.
"Tell me what will help," she whispered. "Tell me how to handle this when it gets bad."
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 6:19 pm
"Avoid me?" Nat smiled solemnly up at her. "I-....I get a little violent... I have nasty fits of withdraw... sometimes they affect me emotionally. Usually thats first, mostly in the form of rage... then a physical shut down... its...not pretty." He admitted, looking down again.
"I dont want to hurt you..." He added as he frowned deeply.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 6:24 pm
Teagan looked at him quite seriously.
"Nat, if you start getting violent, you do it outside and away from my flowers. You got that? I catch you doing anything to them or to anything inside this house, I'll make you sleep in a tent or the gazebo."
She was being quite serious about that, too. The house and flowers were key to her business, and if Nat did anything to harm them, she couldn't afford to get them fixed or wait for something to regrow.
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 6:53 pm
Nat shook his head. "Thats not what I'm worried about..." He furrowed his brow. ".... I'll try to disappear for a short while when i feel it coming on... Or just stay out of the way..." He promised as he sighed, trying to work through it all in his head.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 6:57 pm
Maybe, Teagan thought, it's not the house or flowers she should be watching out for. It was herself, and that much was clear in his eyes alone.
"Nat..." she said, in the apprehensive way she said his name when something was wrong or unclear to her. "You wouldn't turn on me, would you?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:10 pm
Nat sat up and turned to her, taking her face in his hands carefully. "No of course not!" He urged though frowned. "...Not intentionally..." He added, looking down again. "I think...only Raquel's seen me when i'm like that...I dont know what I did... But i dont think it was good..." He frowned, letting go of her face to hold his arms insecurely. "You may want to talk to her... I dont want to know..." He swallowed a little.
Cant you see this is why i wanted to leave as well?! He wanted shout out. If he hurt Teagan anymore, let alone physically.... he couldn't live with himself.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:16 pm
Teagan weighed these possibilities. Clearly the drug wasn't as simple as people made it out to be. If the withdrawal messed with his brain, which Teagan guessed had to do with it upsetting some kind of chemical balance, she was in danger. If Nat lost himself, who knew what could happen.
"Like I said, we'll get through this together. I didn't say that I love you for nothing, you know. I mean it, and I'll stay by you no matter what."
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