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 Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:38 am
She gave him an odd look, then spoke, her voice filled with a child-like innocence.
"The little things are the only things I can make go away, that's why it hurts when I can't help you..." she whispered.
She looked away, listening to the rest of what he said. When she looked back up, she smiled a bit.
"Glad I could help..."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:42 am
Blue Bastarache felt hope rise inside of him, and right afterwards, he felt the flickering flame die. It was so close to his heart; enough to set him free.
But it was gone.
Inside, he wept for the loss that had arisen. But outside, he smiled softly as his dead eyes stared into hers.
"You are the only thing that keeps me living this life." he said, taking her hands hesitantly, "The only one I can run or turn to. Without you, I will fade - shatter and disappear. Without you I am not.".
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:51 am
Raven's soft smile faded, though her eyes shone with love instead of hurt.
She watched as hope seemed to fill his eyes, but it was suddenly gone. She shook her head, feeling like she imagined it.
His eyes were dark, emotionless. The smile that shone on his face was different from the smile before. His eyes didn't reflect the smile.
She gave him a curious look, but it slowly faded, replaced again with the love she felt for him.
"And without you, I'm afraid I would cease to exsist. I would only be a walking zombie." She interlocked her fingers with his as her grey eyes slowly moved around his face, watching his expression.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:58 am
His eyes gently played on her lips for a few seconds, but then, turned back to her eyes.
"So then..." he said, "...I guess all we can do is to enjoy the darkness around." softly, he approached her, and his lips gently touched her ears, "Sit down, why rush? We are lost anyway. So lost and alone in a world that keeps staring us down. And we have only each other. Only us to help us." he smiled as he whispered;
"And this desperation is our joy and home. This is all we can share or become."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:09 am
Raven shivered as his lips touched her ears.
"Don't..." she whispered.
As she listened to his words, she shivered again. What he said was true, but it left her feeling hopeless, though she didn't understand why. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. She backed away a bit. Her mind filled with a thousand unanswered questions.
((damn it! I lost my train of thought. Jay's brother is driving me insane!))
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:16 am
((I got me one hyperactive niece nearby...))
Blue Bastarache's mind was filled with a sudden, sharp pain as she whispered to him not to. He grew stiff, his eyes growing more broken than vacant.
She doesn't wish for my touch.
This being exposed within, he felt a thousand candles that were burning away slowly go out and fade to darkness. He bent his head low in shame as he slowly placed his hands onto the snow, and pushed himself away from her, turning away. He tried to swallow the grief of her denial of his touch, as he could not keep his emotions from raging inside of him.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:24 am
Raven reached out and grabbed his arm as he turned away from her.
"That's not what I meant..." She let go of his arm, but scooted closer to him.
She suddenly felt stupid for feeling uncomfortable. What he had said worried her. She felt alone in the world, but after a moment she realized she didn't have to feel that way. She had Blue and no matter what happened she'd always have him. Unless something happened to either one of them.
She took a deep breath, realizing that was the thought that had frightened her. The thought of losing him, made her want to pull away from him.She couldn't allow herself to think that way.
She closed her eyes and reached out to touch Blue again.
"I'm sorry..."
((I'm a bit distracted, sorry...watching Desperado, but it's almost over...))
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:30 am
Blue's broken heart guided his hands and he held her shoulders, holding her in a distance. His touch was gentle and caring; yet there was something in his grip that represented his pain.
"Don't apologize." he said, "I have come to understand that my need for your touch is... painful and discomforting. Ever since that... incident. I understand that you don't want me to be physically close. You don't have to apologize."
He let go of her shoulders, his eyes begging her to move closer, yet his heart remained broken with the role of rejection he had come to play.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:35 am
Raven sighed and moved closer to him.
"That's not it...you don't understand." She took a deep breath. "I just...oh God, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." She closed her eyes.
"And everyday I can't help but feel that I will, because of who I am. Everyone I've ever cared about is...gone. And it's because of me. I don't want to hurt you again." She stopped and watched her hands as they pulled on a lose thread on her black skirt.
She suddenly looked up.
"Even though she's gone, I can't help but fear she'll come back. I'm just afraid...I'm afraid of what will happen to you...to me."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:41 am
Blue Bastarache embraced her, but as he did, his body tensed up; his hands clutched into fists as he clenched his teeth trying to silence the pain stirring deep inside. He held onto her, yet felt agony build, felt torment swoon. He clenched his teeth harder as a low growl emerged from his throat, as he started to shake, trying to keep it quenched. Tears emerged from his eyes as he held onto her, his love covering the distance between the pain and the void.
"Listen to my plain words..." he said, "...But don't stop. The stillness, the static makes me scared. I'm not..." he sobbed, holding onto her, his body starting to fall to ease, "I'm not afraid of you. How can I be? I am not afraid, Raven, whether through fire and brimstone or through shards of bunnies, I am here." he sobbed one more time, trying to keep it inside as it was blocking his breathing bit by bit, "Oh God, I am here for you, I am here with you. I'm not afraid."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:50 am
Raven wrapped her arms around him, her own silent tears beginning to stream down her face. She let out a small laugh as he said shards of bunnies.
"I'm afraid...for you and for me..." She took another deep breath. "But with you here I can try not to be. If you aren't afraid, then I won't be either." Her tears suddenly stopped. Her grip was tight around him, as if she was afraid to let go. But slowly her grip loosened, though her arms remained wrapped around him.
"I'm not afraid either..." she whispered.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 11:56 am
Blue Bastarache felt his breath enter his lungs and not leave. He was choking, slowly trying to breathe. The air wasn't enough. All he could find was Raven's arms, her warmth, her presence, her love. He found a fresh breath that would keep him alive. He sobbed one more time and then, his pain left him, filled with the tingling sensation of his love... equally deadly.
Softly, he sang to her.
"Wait... by, my side...
Count, the seconds, till I...
Die...
Hold... my hand.
Smile, and tell me, that you care...
Cause I'm scared... now.
Now that I stand at the end of the line...
I cling to life when I should decline...
I always thought I would welcome the stain;
But now I can see it is yet a bird of prey!"
Afterwards, he momentarily retreated to hold her chin up, and then, press his lips onto hers, not knowing any other way of expression.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 12:00 pm
Raven listened to him sing, love overwhelming her. She sighed as she felt his warm lips press against hers and she leaned into him, returning his soft kiss.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 12:03 pm
Blue Bastarache embraced her as he lifted her up as he felt her warm lips press against his. He slowly stood with a fragile balance as her warmth surrounded him. He started to walk out of the woods, for his desire for her was overwhelming him. He pulled away only to speak,
"Let's leave these woods." he said, "And go back to where it has all begun.".
He started to walk in the direction of the courtyard; carrying her in his arms.
"You are fragile." he repeated as he had many times before, "I don't wish to break you unless you want me to."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 12:04 pm
Raven took a moment to respond.
"I am stronger than you think." She then lay her head against his shoulder, letting him carry her into the courtyard.
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