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 Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:20 pm
"We really don't," Emelyn agreed- softly... and sadly. "We deserve to be treated with respect, and not violated to the last strand of our DNA. We all deserve... so much more than this." She put her hand out- not to touch Joli, for she didn't know how the komodo-woman would respond to the feeling of touch- but instead, she put it down near her on the sand.
"And I've seen those who don't have control over the animal. They have truly given themselves over to it. ...Just the fact that you're keen against it happening- I think that's enough to save you," Emelyn said. Her words were not light- but then, neither was the subject.
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:31 pm
"How do you stay so strong Em, so resiliant... I don't know how you do it, right now I just feel like crawling into somewhere dark and hiding." her tongue flickered and she closed her eyes. Half of the people she knew seemed so strong minded, hargun was one of them too... but she'd not seen Hargun since Christmas time.
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:36 pm
"Life has dealt me an easier hand, Joli. That's how I can be so resilient. ...And really... I'm no stronger than anyone else. I internalize everything. I let it sink deep down, and then I isolate myself for strong bursts. A part of me thinks that this," she lifted her arms and looked around- at the sky, the jungle, the water... "Is my 'crawling into the dark and hiding'. ...I think you're stronger than you know."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:41 pm
"I don't know, I really don't, I've attacked at least 3 people, one I vaguely remember, one I dont, and one I do... Just that thought alone makes me want to cry, thats not who I am, thats not the kind of thing I would do... Use martial arts as defence yes... but be the attacking end... Thats just not me" She felt ashamed of herself, perhaps at some point she'd be like Em... but that day wasn't today
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:46 pm
Hearing that Joli had attacked three people... made Emelyn's stomach churn. A part of her wanted to cry, and another begged her to crawl to her feet and run for the mountain. But she did neither- instead, focused on the steadiness of her breath, making sure to keep her eyes low and her thoughts aimed at thinking... and not feeling. Joliette was her friend- and, despite what she said- Emelyn wasn't afraid of her. She believed that she would be safe. ...Or perhaps only could be safe. But it was enough to keep her on the sand.
"I know it seems awful, now- but maybe if you focus on what you can remember- tie together clues, triggers, that may have caused the komodo to eclipse you. Were you tired, were you hungry? Was it a certain type of day- were your emotions a certain way?" Emelyn rolled the questions off her tongue like liquid. "If you put together all the factors, you may be able to find a way to prevent it- or at least lessen the risk... of losing control."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:57 pm
"First time was during lockout, before we ran into each other,... You remember that I'm sure... Second time I got lost in the jungle that was a couple weeks ago, I was hungry, I dont really remember who or what happened exactly, and the last time was right after this change, thats why I stink so badly... Timothy sprayed me as he tried to get away" She paused "I guess the trigger would be hunger if I add those up"
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:58 pm
"Then..." Emelyn said, absorbing the information, "as much as I love to talk to you- and as glad as I am to see you..." she put her hand out again- this time to touch her leg. "I think this is when I tell you goodbye... and you go get some food."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:06 pm
Joliette didn't flinch as the hedgehog woman touched her scaly leg she nodded though "All right.. I'll go, I need clothes first so I'm going to go to the darkroom first though" she pushed to her feet once more holding the towel around her as she scooped up the stinky clothing, she knew Em was right
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:11 pm
"Any time you need to talk... I'll be out here. And Joli?" She paused, looking down at the sand as she exhaled. What she was about to say wasn't easy, but truly... it needed to be said. She looked up into the woman's eyes. "I know they're all bastards over at the labs... but please, if you think you're losing control... go see them. I don't want you getting hurt- and I know you'd hate yourself if you ever truly hurt someone. Just... consider it."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:14 pm
Joliette looked at her as she spoke "All right Em... thanks" she conceeded softly and then turned and headed away into the jungle
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:32 pm
((Going back to the rp between Zach n' Em: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=1140460&page=163"I know... that the doctors aren't exactly any of our favorite people right now..." Emelyn started- treading cautiously on the delicate subject, "but if you don't know what's going to happen to you, I think it's worth... sacrificing yourself on the altar of dignity, as it were- if only to be prepared." She wondered if he could see her, now that the sun had so descended, wondered if he could see the concern- and even apology, for suggesting something so odious. "I don't mean to tell you how to run your life... I just figure... it would be better to know."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:00 pm
"It's not my dignity I'm worried about," he frowned. Emelyn's telling expression was lost on him to the darkness. He put his arm down across his own legs and glanced where he knew she was, even if she was nothing but a silhouette at this point to his eyes. "I don't think I have much left of it. It's just... oh, I don't know. You're right. It's better for everyone else if I did find out, so I'd know what to do with myself. I just feel too spineless to get near that intercom after hearing what little I did."
He fished around for an analogy, and all he could come up with was bitterly depressing but to the point. "It's like... like if someone would tell you the day you're going to die, you know? But I shouldn't talk like that. I'm sorry. Maybe one of these days I can ask them, at least before I get any more lizardlike."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:06 pm
"I think knowing will actually be more of a godsend then remaining in the dark. ...Without the truth, your mind will just see the worst. Besides- the longer you know what's going to happen, the more time you have to prepare- to cope."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:21 pm
He gave a soft "hmm" of agreement with her statement. Coping - that was possible, however vaguely. "Huh... I wish I knew why... why they're doing this. And why they'd choose so many unwilling people for their twisted experimenting. Maybe no one here knows, even them. It wouldn't surprise me to find out that this is all for nothing."
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:26 pm
"I've wondered... the same thing myself. Not that it's for nothing- I don't think it's that... nihilistic. If anything, though, I wonder if the purpose Moreau so advocates- research, knowledge... is the true goal." Emelyn wrapped her arms about her knees, wishing she could encircle her entire body with her soft, comforting arms in the same manner.
"...Maybe he even believes that his purposes are noble. ...Maybe they really are. Or maybe he's insane. Twisted, morally corrupt and needy. Have you ever met Moreau? There's a... a look in his eyes, sometimes. It seems hungry, wolfish. As if there's something there that can never be fed. He needs us- to try to fill that void." Her voice was quiet, almost melodious- her eyes out over the waves of ink that coursed in hushed whispers towards the shore.
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