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I got first class mail from the WWE today...it was stickers and a poster. damn..

A generic guitar riff starts up as the audience goes wild with apathy. Ultimate Warrior comes running down the ramp at top speed, circling the ring as the fans don't respond.

Weighing in at a sexual 275 pounds and hailing from parts unknown... Ladies and gentlemen, the man formerly known as Jim Hellwig... This is... WARRIOR....... WARRIOR!!

Warrior slides into the ring, pumping his fists in joy before grabbing hold of the ropes and shaking until the top rope is loosened. The ring crew is called in and begins to tighten the tope. Warrior stands in the turnbuckle as a hypodermic needle is seen sticking in his arm. He waits for his opponent as the crew works on the rope.

"SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! OH YEAH!"

Pomp and Circumstance plays and Macho Man, Randy Savage struts down to the ring. He opens up a slim jim and screams "Oh yeah!".

He throws his hat at Warrior and says "Be a Man, Hulk! I mean Warrior!"

Hmm the 50 k will probably be won by the time I log back on, and I'm thinking it will be Ruin who wins it. But good luck to everyone!

The smell of Slim Jims combined with the hat is enough to send the Warrior into a rage instantly as he throws the hat down and stomps on it exactly 20 times - no more, no less.

"Macho Man!!! Savage!! This is your last day walking the planet of Ach'um Ra!! I look above to the Gods, and when you fall below the skeletons of the Warriors past, the power of the Warriors will become the eighth wonder of the World! All the Little Warriors love me and they'll continue to love me when you dance under the moons of Venus!!"

The crowd is insanely confused as Warrior's face is a deep shade of red from screaming at Macho Man.

"Ohhh yeah? OHHH YEAH? OHHH YEAH?! Hey there, "Mr.Warrior", I'm too hot to handle! Too cold to hold! I'm the tower of power, too sweet to be sour! Up until now, Warrior, you been running from Macho like I got a disease... I got one thing ONE THING! To say... You got nothing to fear but fear itself... AND THE MACHO MAN!"

With that Macho Man Randy Savage storms into the ring, but as he runs at Warrior he trips on his tassles. Not to lose face, he puts out an elbow as he's going down to make it look like he was only trying to strike the fear of God into warrior by showing him what he could do.

The entire time Macho Man speaks, Warrior stares, nodding, but not actually comprehending.

As Macho Man trips over his tassle, Warrior grins and goes to flex his be-tassled biceps. He flexes as the tassle snaps. He immediately goes down like an idiot in a roid rage, screaming at the top of his lungs and holding his arms as he smears paint on the canvas stupidly.