Just a random sample. Probably not gonna be anywhere what my character's gonna be like.
Scenario: Jacob, a newly graduated chuunin, is taking some time to think about his new position, a little ways from the village.
The sounds of owls were all that could be heard in the enclosure in the forest. Jacob had been coming to this spot for a while now. A few missions back, he had to heal his best friend here. That's how he found it. Since then, he had been coming here to clear his mind and really think about things. Sometimes about girls. Sometimes, just about life. Really anything that could be thought of, he thought of it here.
Jacob had mixed emotions about the exam. For what he was heard, it was pretty hard and he wasn't the best ninja. He had only passed the genin exam because Yori had helped him prepare. This time, he didn't have Yori. This saddened him but, as his teacher always said, 'people move on as life moves on.' While thinking of Yori, a tear formed in his eye. "Why couldn't it have been me? Why did you have to leave us? I would give anything just to be with you now. If there is a god up there, help me."
Just then, a hand was placed on his shoulder. When he looked up, there, was the face of Yuri. It seemed that she had never passed away. Gently, she wiped the tear from his eye and stroked his cheek. Jacob, overcome with happiness, hugged her tightly. "It's alright. I'm sure you will do great in the chuunin exams. I believe in you. I may not be here to help you, but I know that you can do it." Lightly, she planted a kiss on his forehead and disappeared with the wind.
Jacob was left there, wondering if it was the real Yuri or just his imagination playing tricks on him. One thing was for sure, he was more confident in his abilities. "I guess...as long as I remember what she taught me, I'll be fine." Getting up from the rock, he said his goodbyes to the enclosure and walked off to the village. It may have been evening, but he had enough time to do some last minute training before
Nice.
Pass.
Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 1:22 am
Role example:
Do you Want to know how it was that this guy became famous? well .. is a nice story, a couple of years ago, a hidden mist village Gennin called Tsakon was sent on a mission rank C alone, perhaps because of his exceptional skill, or just for send him to his death, in any way the young shinobi set out on a journey inside of fogged forest in the water country frontier, the mission was simple, a reconnaissance mission in enemy hideouts, he just had to find it, we all know that any Gennin could do this alone, and less in wartime.
He was a kid skilled for tracking and highly sneaky, finding the place was no problem, his problem was out. When he located the place he did a makeshift map, but somehow the enemy managed to locate him, after all, it was just a Gennin. His opponents were three men armed with katanas, the young shinobi had only his fists, his powerfull fist, the enemies could not hurt him, he was much more agile than they, but he was outnumbered. The movement that gave him fame also saved his life at that time, after dodging a fierce opponent cut, Tsakon took the arm of one of his enemies, with a strong blow to the enemy elbow he managed to break it into two, with agility he stood to the enemy's back, back to back so to destroy their vertebral column with a fierce movement , the other two man amazed at the rapid movements and watching his friend so hurt, they attacked Tsakon with rage, the young gennin with his first victim's katana the young reached stop one of the attacks, but not the second one, the young man's arm fell lifeless to the ground without sprouting any single cry of pain from the young, how could it survive? .. Do you want to know? well..maybe.. another day kid.
Sorry if the example has some error, english isn't my native language
Do you Want to know how it was that this guy became famous? well .. is a nice story, a couple of years ago, a hidden mist village Gennin called Tsakon was sent on a mission rank C alone, perhaps because of his exceptional skill, or just for send him to his death, in any way the young shinobi set out on a journey inside of fogged forest in the water country frontier, the mission was simple, a reconnaissance mission in enemy hideouts, he just had to find it, we all know that any Gennin could do this alone, and less in wartime.
He was a kid skilled for tracking and highly sneaky, finding the place was no problem, his problem was out. When he located the place he did a makeshift map, but somehow the enemy managed to locate him, after all, it was just a Gennin. His opponents were three men armed with katanas, the young shinobi had only his fists, his powerfull fist, the enemies could not hurt him, he was much more agile than they, but he was outnumbered. The movement that gave him fame also saved his life at that time, after dodging a fierce opponent cut, Tsakon took the arm of one of his enemies, with a strong blow to the enemy elbow he managed to break it into two, with agility he stood to the enemy's back, back to back so to destroy their vertebral column with a fierce movement , the other two man amazed at the rapid movements and watching his friend so hurt, they attacked Tsakon with rage, the young gennin with his first victim's katana the young reached stop one of the attacks, but not the second one, the young man's arm fell lifeless to the ground without sprouting any single cry of pain from the young, how could it survive? .. Do you want to know? well..maybe.. another day kid.
Sorry if the example has some error, english isn't my native language
Looks pretty good, and maybe this applies even more because English is not your first language, but try to go back and look it over when you're finished and/or wait a few minutes and then go back to read it over again. There were a few places where it looked like you were missing words, or had too many words.
Pass.
Pass.
Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 11:31 am
Oh, well... I hope i'm not TOO rusty.
Example:
Quote:
It was a quiet night, little noise came from the heavly guarded mansion, other that the chattering of the guards and a few footsteps. the reason for this was because of the heavy ttension in the air. A meeting between several local political heads was taking place... several, political heads with just as many enemies, an atempt against their lives was almost a given.
As the politicians continued about their meeting, a stalker observed them from above. Taku was a mercenary ninja, born in a now-extinct village. He was contacted by those who wished to keep their parties out of conflict... and themselves with a clean name. Taku went great lengths to have his assignment done. He had to, he didn't have a home to protect himself.
The particpants in the meeting were 5. The guards in the immediate proximity were 30... And there were only 3 ways out. Taku had entered the mansion two days before the meeting, with a stack of soldier pills and water bottles, he waited at the main hall's celing. it was time to put his plan in motion. Taking out a poison sack, he waited for an opening.
The participants were starting to show signs of drowsiness, and as soon as one of them started to yawn, Taku took action, droping the poisonous dust in his drink. a few moments passed before he took a sip. 2 minutes passed... 3... 4... And it took effect. The toxins cuted neval connections with the man's lungs and heart, making him collapse to the ground. As the other politicians were shoked, Taku jumped down, ninjato in hand. It took seconds for the guards of the main entrance to open the door, by then all targets were down... But Taku didn't leave the room. One step in and a shadow jumped between the guards, killing two out of the 6 in the corridor. It was time to report success.
I admit i don't go so far in my RPing, but... meh. I just don't feel like leaving things without the nessesary detail. now, i shall inform my font is "times new roman"
It was a quiet night, little noise came from the heavly guarded mansion, other that the chattering of the guards and a few footsteps. the reason for this was because of the heavy ttension in the air. A meeting between several local political heads was taking place... several, political heads with just as many enemies, an atempt against their lives was almost a given.
As the politicians continued about their meeting, a stalker observed them from above. Taku was a mercenary ninja, born in a now-extinct village. He was contacted by those who wished to keep their parties out of conflict... and themselves with a clean name. Taku went great lengths to have his assignment done. He had to, he didn't have a home to protect himself.
The particpants in the meeting were 5. The guards in the immediate proximity were 30... And there were only 3 ways out. Taku had entered the mansion two days before the meeting, with a stack of soldier pills and water bottles, he waited at the main hall's celing. it was time to put his plan in motion. Taking out a poison sack, he waited for an opening.
The participants were starting to show signs of drowsiness, and as soon as one of them started to yawn, Taku took action, droping the poisonous dust in his drink. a few moments passed before he took a sip. 2 minutes passed... 3... 4... And it took effect. The toxins cuted neval connections with the man's lungs and heart, making him collapse to the ground. As the other politicians were shoked, Taku jumped down, ninjato in hand. It took seconds for the guards of the main entrance to open the door, by then all targets were down... But Taku didn't leave the room. One step in and a shadow jumped between the guards, killing two out of the 6 in the corridor. It was time to report success.
I admit i don't go so far in my RPing, but... meh. I just don't feel like leaving things without the nessesary detail. now, i shall inform my font is "times new roman"
It was quite but there were a few mistakes that could have easily been caught with a proof read.
Pass! You can go ahead and pm the leader of the village you want to join now.
Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:55 pm
Rp Example:
beeping sound are being heard loudly, slowly begin opening eyes to get a focus on what happening, what the hell is going is on here where that dam beeping sound coming from.Looking around to find out where the Beeping sound continues to beep from, ah-ha there it is. Spot his alarm clock flashing while it beeps, gets up outta bed and begin walking toward the the alarm clock. Look down at the clock checks the time.. ah shish no wonder it barely 12 well i guess i forgot to set-off my sleeping timer well their goes my sleeping in. Turn off sleeping alarm room goes quiet suddenly looks around for a sec.. and begin to think what next to do turns around and begin to walk back to bed... Well i guess i can do this thinking in my peaceful state of mind.. jumps back into bed and hears the crackle in his bed-spring, well i know what i'm gonna do now off to bed good night.. closes eyes
xTx Monty xTx
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Fenrir of Ragnarok
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 6:51 am
Ryuka ran as fast as he could through the blackened forest. It felt darker than it possibly could. Like he was in some false reality or some nightmare. He shook his head knowing that his fear was starting to tightly grip him. He quickly peered behind himself catching a glimpse of a shadow that had been chasing him through the night. His eyes quickly snapped back foreward daring to not look back again. He made a sharp turn as the subtle noise of his pursuer became closer, deathly closer. He finally stopped and spun around drawing his kunai with one hand and filling his other with shurikan. I cannot outrun him... he thought as he barred his teeth. Ryuka wouldnt go down without a fight however. His hands and legs shook uncontrolably at his fear and knowledge of his weakness. He was nothing but a rookie. He could not fathom why this shinobi was chasing him tooth and nail. The shadow finally emerged from the tree line. The moon reflected brilliantly off his bloodthirsty eyes. Am i going to die!? Ryuka thought as his mere trembles began to feel like convulsions as reality began to set in. Just as Ryuka's death became prominently clear to him out from a tree near him another shadowy figure sprung from the forest canopy, but this did not cause unbereable dread in Ryuka like the first shadow. This was a Jounin from his village, and a close friend to Ryuka. A great warmth began to relieve his very bones, for finally he felt a chance to live.
Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:31 am
Fenrir of Ragnarok
Ryuka ran as fast as he could through the blackened forest. It felt darker than it possibly could. Like he was in some false reality or some nightmare. He shook his head knowing that his fear was starting to tightly grip him. He quickly peered behind himself catching a glimpse of a shadow that had been chasing him through the night. His eyes quickly snapped back foreward daring to not look back again. He made a sharp turn as the subtle noise of his pursuer became closer, deathly closer. He finally stopped and spun around drawing his kunai with one hand and filling his other with shurikan. I cannot outrun him... he thought as he barred his teeth. Ryuka wouldnt go down without a fight however. His hands and legs shook uncontrolably at his fear and knowledge of his weakness. He was nothing but a rookie. He could not fathom why this shinobi was chasing him tooth and nail. The shadow finally emerged from the tree line. The moon reflected brilliantly off his bloodthirsty eyes. Am i going to die!? Ryuka thought as his mere trembles began to feel like convulsions as reality began to set in. Just as Ryuka's death became prominently clear to him out from a tree near him another shadowy figure sprung from the forest canopy, but this did not cause unbereable dread in Ryuka like the first shadow. This was a Jounin from his village, and a close friend to Ryuka. A great warmth began to relieve his very bones, for finally he felt a chance to live.
Nice.
Pass.
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Manly Lunatic
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Qyp Crew
Manly Lunatic
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:34 am
xTx Monty xTx
Rp Example:
beeping sound are being heard loudly, slowly begin opening eyes to get a focus on what happening, what the hell is going is on here where that dam beeping sound coming from.Looking around to find out where the Beeping sound continues to beep from, ah-ha there it is. Spot his alarm clock flashing while it beeps, gets up outta bed and begin walking toward the the alarm clock. Look down at the clock checks the time.. ah shish no wonder it barely 12 well i guess i forgot to set-off my sleeping timer well their goes my sleeping in. Turn off sleeping alarm room goes quiet suddenly looks around for a sec.. and begin to think what next to do turns around and begin to walk back to bed... Well i guess i can do this thinking in my peaceful state of mind.. jumps back into bed and hears the crackle in his bed-spring, well i know what i'm gonna do now off to bed good night.. closes eyes
First of all, do you know how to use quotation marks, comas, full stops, capitalize letters, etc? I mean, your grammar, how old are you? If you write like this at school, I would be shocked if you got anything over a D, if you live in the USA of course.
I am sorry man, but try to write out this again, with full stops, capitals, quotation marks where he talks and thinks, and all that.
Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:27 pm
Qyp
xTx Monty xTx
Rp Example:
beeping sound are being heard loudly, slowly begin opening eyes to get a focus on what happening, what the hell is going is on here where that dam beeping sound coming from.Looking around to find out where the Beeping sound continues to beep from, ah-ha there it is. Spot his alarm clock flashing while it beeps, gets up outta bed and begin walking toward the the alarm clock. Look down at the clock checks the time.. ah shish no wonder it barely 12 well i guess i forgot to set-off my sleeping timer well their goes my sleeping in. Turn off sleeping alarm room goes quiet suddenly looks around for a sec.. and begin to think what next to do turns around and begin to walk back to bed... Well i guess i can do this thinking in my peaceful state of mind.. jumps back into bed and hears the crackle in his bed-spring, well i know what i'm gonna do now off to bed good night.. closes eyes
First of all, do you know how to use quotation marks, comas, full stops, capitalize letters, etc? I mean, your grammar, how old are you? If you write like this at school, I would be shocked if you got anything over a D, if you live in the USA of course.
I am sorry man, but try to write out this again, with full stops, capitals, quotation marks where he talks and thinks, and all that.
well missy im sorry if my childish writing skill doesnt fit your need of a b+ i got wasted out of a decent teaching but seeing how your judge im not gonna respond to retry till the end of this year
xTx Monty xTx
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Qyp Crew
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:31 pm
xTx Monty xTx
Qyp
xTx Monty xTx
Rp Example:
beeping sound are being heard loudly, slowly begin opening eyes to get a focus on what happening, what the hell is going is on here where that dam beeping sound coming from.Looking around to find out where the Beeping sound continues to beep from, ah-ha there it is. Spot his alarm clock flashing while it beeps, gets up outta bed and begin walking toward the the alarm clock. Look down at the clock checks the time.. ah shish no wonder it barely 12 well i guess i forgot to set-off my sleeping timer well their goes my sleeping in. Turn off sleeping alarm room goes quiet suddenly looks around for a sec.. and begin to think what next to do turns around and begin to walk back to bed... Well i guess i can do this thinking in my peaceful state of mind.. jumps back into bed and hears the crackle in his bed-spring, well i know what i'm gonna do now off to bed good night.. closes eyes
First of all, do you know how to use quotation marks, comas, full stops, capitalize letters, etc? I mean, your grammar, how old are you? If you write like this at school, I would be shocked if you got anything over a D, if you live in the USA of course.
I am sorry man, but try to write out this again, with full stops, capitals, quotation marks where he talks and thinks, and all that.
well missy im sorry if my childish writing skill doesnt fit your need of a b+ i got wasted out of a decent teaching but seeing how your judge im not gonna respond to retry till the end of this year
I am sorry... D:
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 2:06 pm
As Ryuu ran he got the impression that he wasn't going anywhere, that he was stuck in a single moment, unable to go forward or back. The mist that surrounded him only proved to help this illusion, making it seem like nothing existed outside of the small area he could see. The mist distorted sound, making it impossible to tell how close the man was. The man. He'd been following him for days, and the chase had began two hours before this moment. Ryuu hadn't seen the man clearly, but was sure he was from Amegakure. Finally, he broke free of the Hidden Mist Jutsu, entering the natural mist that surrounded Kirigakure, his home. A natural mist proved no barrier to his eyes, having grown up surrounded by it. The guards at the gates of the village stepped towards him. "Help," he gasped, stumbling as he reached them. "Amegakure Shinobi, in the Mist."
Faithfull Fire
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Lifetakesawayx
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 10:55 am
Kin silently walked out of the village that he had strangely come upon. Since he decided that he was going to go and find a new place to relax at, since this place was not the kind of place Kin wanted to be. Since he never thought that he would see a naked girl with wings like he did while he was in the Hospital. And this was something that sent chills to Kin even though he did not show it while he was in the hospital room. And so Kin figured he would venture to his home land that was taken over by the village of Tenga, since he was sure that if he did not show any harm to the village they would not mind him visiting his home land that he once lived on.
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:30 am
Reiji ran with all his might, sweat dripping down his face, away from the enemies that were following him. Earlier that day, Reiji was just minding his own business when he came across a alleyway in the village. As he passed by he had heard a girl screaming. With an instant reaction to the scream he sneaked into the alleyway hiding in the shadows. There were 4 older men trying to take this girls purse but she did not want to give it up without a fight. Damn why do I always have to be a good person and stand up for the weak. Reiji thought in his mind. Time to show myself before she gets hurt as he thought this Reiji stepped out and yelled "What do you guys think you are doing?" The 4 men looked at him blankly and went on with their task. At that instant Reiji ran up and kneed one of the men and basically knocked him out. Hmph i thought he was going to be much more of a challenge since he was the biggest. Another man was knocked out by a swift kick to his chin. Opps maybe to much strength. The other two men that were left finally snapped out of their trance of getting the purse from the woman and brought out two knives each. The men now stared at Reiji and started swinging the knives around. Crap dang cheaters, I guess I need to run since they are now giving me attention. swiftly dodging the knives he ran out of the alleyway. Leading to the present time
sjamesjuan
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:42 pm
Faithfull Fire
As Ryuu ran he got the impression that he wasn't going anywhere, that he was stuck in a single moment, unable to go forward or back. The mist that surrounded him only proved to help this illusion, making it seem like nothing existed outside of the small area he could see. The mist distorted sound, making it impossible to tell how close the man was. The man. He'd been following him for days, and the chase had began two hours before this moment. Ryuu hadn't seen the man clearly, but was sure he was from Amegakure. Finally, he broke free of the Hidden Mist Jutsu, entering the natural mist that surrounded Kirigakure, his home. A natural mist proved no barrier to his eyes, having grown up surrounded by it. The guards at the gates of the village stepped towards him. "Help," he gasped, stumbling as he reached them. "Amegakure Shinobi, in the Mist."
