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 Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:57 pm
"Did you know that watermelons are magic?" Allan(ette) was still, for lack of a better word, wibbling as she clung to Simon. Thankfully the latter had brought the two some refreshing flavoured drinks, even though it had only made the Sun Leader sad that they didn't have Strawberry Ramune. In fact, it was questionable as to whether or not Allan(ette) actually realized they were alcoholic.
She swirled her glass, her fourth glass, experimentally, taking one wobbling step. "They- they like grow. On these trees - these large, trees 'n you grab em, and the trees, the melons on the trees fall off, all kawaii 'n stuff and they like latch onto your face. And- and, and, they do like awesome magical henshin stuff, y'know?"
The Sun lead managed one more step before she pretty much nearly fell onto the sand face first.
Thankfully the trainees were doing a pretty good job of fixing the watermelon situation at hand. Oh, with one disgruntled Death division lead, though the patrol team had lost sight of her a few minutes ago, nothing really to worry about as this was pretty normal.
Not-so-thankfully however, as the tenth or so watermelon was sliced, the ground began shaking, rather vehemently. It was probably then that the trainees noticed that everything around them was growing oddly grey and sickly-coloured, tendrils of fog blotting out bits of the sky and sun. The fog continued to spread around them, effectively killing the mood entirely as the sand shook again.
The water lurched forward, and from the sand and fog formed a creature, at least twenty times the size of an average well-endowed Hunter. There were gasps, weapons summoned, and a few moments of sobbing and hysterical screaming. From. Hunters.
This would be a good time for Sasha to say 'I told you so'. THE WATERMELON WHISPERER BOSS FIGHT: THE WATERMELON WHISPERER: HP: 200/200- The fog-created creature howls, angry that you have destroyed its babies (Actually you're not really sure but that sounds like a really reasonable and coherent story as to why it was upset you were destroying watermelons okay). It lifts up one tendril, a thick tentacle made out of condensed fog, and attempts to slap your trainee silly. - The boss is also throwing watermelons everywhere. They are actually rather harmful and hurt when they're hurtling at you okay. First, you have to doge the watermelons flying in all directions to even get close to the boss on the beach. STEP 1: Roll a 100-sided dice and match your dice roll to the results below:1-20: A giant watermelon smacks you right in your...melons. Unfortunately even secure thick insulation does not save you from getting winded as you go down. You just need a few seconds to catch your breath is all. 21 - 40: A watermelon explodes on the ground next to you, pieces of it getting all over your bathing suit and for a second, obscuring your vision. ARG YOU CANT SEE YOU ARE BLINDED FOR LIFE. Oh wait, its just watermelon. You proceed to attack normally. 41 - 60: You are stopped by Allan(ette) who suddenly decides to take a second to tell you about how you're just hurting the mommy's feelings and how watermelon injustice is cruel and that you must open your kokoro to them. She just keeps on going and going and... 61- 80: You slip on a piece of stray watermelon as you attempt to get closer and fall flat on your face. Noone saw that right? You quickly get up and proceed to attack normally. 81 - 100: You made it! You quickly summon your weapon and proceed to attack normallySTEP TWO: IF YOU PROCEED TO ATTACK NORMALLY: - You may now proceed to attacking as normal, charges can be used with proper modifiers. However, if you roll ODD, your chest is a little too heavy and you miss your target! - please post the TOTAL REMAINING HP of the boss at the BOTTOM OF YOUR POST You may roll as many times as you want, but you must PASS STEP 1 first EACH TIME before moving to step two.
ie: Step 1, I roll 10, I fail. I roll step 1 again, I roll 90. Pass. I proceed to attack. I roll even. My attack is a success! Now I have to roll Step 1 again, pass it, and move to step 2. Etc etc until BOSS IS DOWN.
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:58 pm
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Pixie Nyxie rolled 1 100-sided dice:
92
Total: 92 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:02 pm
Worst Beach trip ever, Says Dakota.
Not even a n** slip to hold him off.
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Baneful rolled 1 100-sided dice:
35
Total: 35 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:03 pm
Rep just looked on as the monster suddenly arrived.
It was probably a good thing he hadn't eaten the melons. He finished off his cocktail lazily before doing anything at all.
The watermelon exploding startled the hell out of him and covered him in melon-gore. He wasn't as upset as he'd normally have been. He was just shiny.
But it seemed the rest of these bitches needed a hand. Whatever.
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Toshihiko Two rolled 1 6-sided dice:
3
Total: 3 (1-6)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:04 pm
Even hanging out of his bikini, Harrison seemed to inspire more nervousness than flirting. He wasn't sure if it was the scars or the not-so-distant gunshots. But the more shaky the civillians got, the grimmer his expression turned, until he was brooding at his own private beach barside table, completely minus any drink offers and radiating glares.
There weren't any watermelons at his table.
He glared at the giant monster rising out of the sea, too.
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chiickadee rolled 1 100-sided dice:
33
Total: 33 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:08 pm
Ami continued to wrestle Marcus angrily until she realized that Wilson was actually crying. Oh God. Ohhhhhhhhhhh God. Oh man now SHE felt like the crying. Goddammit how was it possible to both curse Wilson's very existence and feel bad for him at the same time.
She wrestled her way off Marcus and said, "You owe me some new. ********. shoes."
With that, she hustled over to Wilson's side and started really really awkwardly patting him on the back. How does one comfort people? "There, there Wilson. I didn't me- Well no I totally meant to, but ... look just don't cry okay!" Now she was starting to get teary eyed.
No wait, those weren't tears, that was WATERMELOANSDLFKJASLDFJAOSM GODDAMMIT BITCHES GONNA DIE.
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LP rolled 1 100-sided dice:
73
Total: 73 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:10 pm
Ali nodded, "Ohhhh, wait you're getting married!?" There was a pause, "Congrats!" She bounced a little after having gotten back up and rebalanced.
About that time some great Godzilla melon monster showed up. "... I think that's why... we can't find anymore..." She pointed up looking slightly horrified. Taking a slow step back summoning pookie, she ended up slipping on a watermelon piece. "ACK." Bitting her lower lip looked around, no one saw that right? Right?
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Toshihiko Two rolled 1 100-sided dice:
54
Total: 54 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:11 pm
Allan decided this was time for a lecture on motherhood and coconuts.
...Yeah. Definitely needed to stab something.
He summoned B0nez, flipped him into an icepick hold, and stalked across the sand.
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Pixie Nyxie rolled 2 10-sided dice:
10, 4
Total: 14 (2-20)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:11 pm
Dakota was feeling a little sexually frustrated now that he didn't even have watermelons to attack.
Man this sucked, and then this thing was here and Yeah. Dakota was not a happy kid.
Dakota: 50/50
Damage: 8
Charge: 0/3
Boss: 192
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Bittiface rolled 1 100-sided dice:
74
Total: 74 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:14 pm
HOW DARE THIS BUGGER INTERUPT OCTAVIA'S TANNING SESSION!?!?!  Channeling his inner beach b***h, Otto summoned Tenya and charged at the enemy who dared get in the way of this Mission based Vacation. Unfortunately, his amazing beach run was cute terribly short as he slipped unceremoniously on the sand and onto his face. For the record, it was totally his bouncing boobs that did it. Totally. He brushed himself off, nervously looking around for witnesses he'd have to kill and charged again. Quote: 61- 80: You slip on a piece of stray watermelon as you attempt to get closer and fall flat on your face. Noone saw that right? You quickly get up and proceed to attack normally.
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Toshihiko Two rolled 1 100-sided dice:
99
Total: 99 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:15 pm
He jiggled with every step, sneakers slapping against the sand, and in spite of his better judgement, changed his grip again and started into a jog.
He was hungry and horny and just wanted to finish his exercise routine and maybe have a goddamn drink, stupid shitty missions and if he never saw another patch of fog again it would be too ******** soon.
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Bittiface rolled 2 10-sided dice:
10, 5
Total: 15 (2-20)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:20 pm
With Tenya in hand, otto leaped with aggressive vigor in an attempt to launch himself at the enemy. Unfortunately, his assets were much too glorious, and sucker bunched his chin. He bit his tongue, yelped, and skidded to the sand below. Otto: 50/50
Damage: Miss / Boobie Hazard
Charge: 0/3
Boss HP: 192
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Toshihiko Two rolled 2 10-sided dice:
3, 2
Total: 5 (2-20)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:21 pm
He launched off the sand to bury both blades right into the thing's...toe, knee, he didn't care, whatever he would get a hold of.
But the moment he went up, so did everything else, and all he ended up with was a facefull of his own tits. He hit the ground hard, managing to take a knee, but the impact went right into his chest as they slammed back down again.
"OW. DAMMIT, who the hell DESIGNED THESE THINGS WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO HAVE THIS s**t, EVER."
Heheheheheheee.
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Baneful rolled 2 8-sided dice:
2, 8
Total: 10 (2-16)
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:25 pm
Everyone was so lazy. It was just awful making a lady have to fight.
He trailed a finger in the watermelon gunk on his skin, considered tasting it, thought better of it and tossed it away.
Sighing in a truly long suffering manner, he tossed aside his empty glass and summoned Tracey. He was sure he was heavier in these noodly lady arms. Women shouldn't be wielding a man's weapon.
At least he hit the thing before setting the axe in the sand and leaning on it. Effort.
HP: 40/40
DMG: 4
Charge: 1
BOSS : 188
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x_Nata_x rolled 1 100-sided dice:
53
Total: 53 (1-100)
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Interesting Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:28 pm
Today was just not their day. DDs, PMS, for some of them the whole gender switch, although Petra was thankful to have only suffered the former two. The day had took a momentary upswing in the form of what seemed to be a free beach vacation, beautiful sunshine and multi-colored drinks and warm sand beneath her feet, and for those blessed moments she had felt better. Her anger had dissipated almost completely, leaving the pale-haired girl relaxed and almost enjoying herself -- she'd even been promised a good time later by her husband-turned-wife. But, of course, all good things had to come to an end. And in this case, that was sooner rather than later.
Stepping out from beneath the outdoor bar, a pretty sapphire-blue drink in her hand, Petra's eyes shifted idly over the beach, taking in the sand, the crystalline water the color of her drink, and the... ... watermelon? That definitely got her attention. She'd never grown watermelons on the farm, so it was quite possible that she was wrong, but she was pretty sure that watermelons didn't grow on the beach. Blinking slowly, she stared at it for a moment, cocking her head to one side as she tried to figure out the situation.
And that's when another one literally fell from the sky, splattering everywhere just out of range of her bare feet.
Vacation time was over.
Tugging the pentagram from her neck, there was a flash of light, and Cain appeared in her hand. It felt good -- the weight just felt right in her hands, and although she felt completely unbalanced and unnatural with these new tits in the way, the death hunter compensated a little by leaning back, and everything felt right again. The feel of the grip felt right too, even better than the cool drink in her hand, so she tipped its contents up, swallowing it all down in one gulp. Of course, that's just around the time that Allen showed up, going on about something... eggs? Or was it the watermelons? She was confused.
Miss!
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