Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ataro watched RuGaard as he became more and more upset. She was very surprised by his scream, and a little frightened by it, if she was honest.

"YOU! This is your fault. All of this is because of you."

Ataro was shocked, but said nothing. Was he blaming this on her?

"Hiding behind your creatures is a cowardly way to do anything."

Hiding behind... these things? Why would she do that? How? What was he talking about?

"What you did tonight was unlawful. Using them to hunt her."

Ataro watched RuGaard pace and continued to listen.

"Kaira. You killed Kaira. At least have the decency to know her name you..."

"You lie."

He is not talking to me, Ataro realized. At least it didn't seem that way anymore. She looked at him, a concerned expression on her face. He turned to her then, looking almost surprised to see her. Her body was prepared for escape, but she stayed where she was. "RuGaard... what is going on?"

The voice from her memories, the one she had remembered once before, resurfaced. Something isn't right, Cherry. What is it? Can you figure it out?

She stood up slowly, carefully, trying to look like she was neither on the offensive nor defensive. She did... okay. "Who are you talking to?" As far as she could tell, there wasn't anyone else around. At all. Not alive, anyway.

Ataro glanced at Kaira for a few seconds before looking at RuGaard again. His words made it easier to understand why he was so upset. Someone he had been trying hard to keep alive had just gone and seemingly committed suicide. Still, it was strange seeing him cry. He, the unspoken leader of the group, was now sitting in front of her, crying.

What Ataro still did not entirely understand was his issue with "she". So it had not been sleepiness that caused the fire incident. There was probably no point in trying to pretend to understand at this point.

"Rugaard," Ataro began, "I... I don't entirely understand. And although you know more about this world than I do... well, it seems to me like you are feeling a bit lost yourself." She approached him cautiously, taking slow, careful steps. "Why don't we take Kaira, and go back to the shop?" she suggested.

"Honestly I do not know what to do at this point. But we need to start with Kaira, because I do not think we should leave her here. And then I think we need to continue the conversation I tried to start by the fire before." She crouched down a few feet away, to try and look him in the face, still conscious of the gun in her hand. "RuGaard, as far as we know, we could be the only ones left now." She paused, now trying to be careful with her words. "This isn't going to sound very... kind, with what has happened to everyone, but... well, maybe it will be easier now, and maybe now we can figure out your... we can figure out who you're talking to, and why." She sighed and thought she felt like she had somehow been in a similar situation before.

"I don't know about you, but I want to stay alive, and I really want to know what happened and why we're like this. I don't like this situation and I want to get out of it. I'm not going to give up my life without a good long fight. And this might or might not sound selfish, but I'm going to do the same for your life, because right now you are all I have left to help me get out of this."

Ataro nodded, smiling on the inside, and followed RuGaard's gaze back to Kaira's body. She was glad that she had been able to bring him back some, although she was surprised that her words had worked. She felt like she wasn't very good at making words work. The feeling that she had carried on a similar conversation before lingered, but she stored it away. Such thoughts would only help if she ever got the chance to learn more about her past. She followed RuGaard's gaze back to Kaira's body.

"What should we do?" Ataro asked. Kaira looked so... happy, she realized, but for some reason it made her really sad. She still couldn't understand why Kaira had done it, or what she had even been trying to do. "Should we... bury her, or...?" Ataro subconsciously shook her head. "Would the monsters try to get her if we did?"

((Sorry for the wait, I was without internet for a bit (again =.=) and also I had my wisdom teeth removed. o.o))



Ataro nodded. Again she was able to see the impact this had on RuGaard. She lifted Kaira's bags and carried them on her shoulders while doing her best to keep up with him. She wanted the gun in her hands, in case of attack. It was pretty clear that Kaira had done some damage to the nearby population of - well - everything that might have been nearby. But even so, she much preferred to be ready.

Ataro briefly studied Kaira's face at one point as they were walking. She would have to look in the bags and find out what exactly was in them. Perhaps they would reveal something important. She wondered what RuGaard planned on doing for their last canine friend. Whatever it was, Ataro trusted it would be as his words promised.

Ataro had tried not to be too emotional about the losses of the group so far. But now, as they walked in silence, with the newest event to contemplate being Kaira's death, it was difficult not to think about anything. So she thought about everything.Don't just shut everything out, Cherry.

She remembered nearly crying quite a few times after waking up for the first time. Tears of fear. Fear of the world she had woken up in, fear of doing anything other than hide in one place, fear of being alone. If you shut things out they just nibble at you until they've eaten you up.

But something had always kept her from giving in. Even at first she had refused to let herself cry, to let herself feel weak. Sometimes you have to shut things out to make it through a moment, like pain. But you can't do it forever. You eventually have to face things. You've got to figure out a way to take care of things. Deal with things. Make things work.

Then there were others, and they all started moving around, and there was change. Ataro started to remember, though it was often more like realizing she could do things than remembering. Whistela seemed to have memories of where everyone had come from. Wayne seemed to have a good idea of what to do, but he had acted strangely a few times-

Ataro's attention momentarily snapped to RuGaard. He had acted strangely. In a way similar to RuGaard. She would have to bring it up later. Ataro returned her attention to their surroundings and hoped he hadn't felt her staring.

RuGaard himself had been next, of course. Seemingly came out of nowhere (didn't everything?), but he had a safe place and also seemed to know what he was doing too. They met Kaira on the way over. She had looked just as lost as everyone else. Then a monster appeared and everyone fled into RuGaard's shop, but Wayne ran off and took the monster with him.

And then everyone was doing, knowing, even being a little bit. Everyone was good at something; useful in some way. And Ataro found that fear didn't affect her the same way anymore. Her attitude gradually changed as every hour passed. Now those hours were starting to become days, and they were still alive.

Well, two of them were.

Ataro moved quickly into the shelter and followed RuGaard's gaze to the note on the table. Her raccoon ears dropped as she realized what it was. RuGaard's request only confirmed her thoughts. "Okay." She placed Kaira's bags on the ground, stuck her own gun in the unsafe holder called her pants pocket, then made her way to the table.

Ataro almost read the note there in that room, then decided it might be better if RuGaard read it. Or, if he couldn't, he should at least be there when she did. She met him at the top of the stairs, where he had been about to come back in for more furniture. She was starting to realize what he wanted to do with Kaira, and had some concerns, but decided it might be better not to bring them up until after the note, at least.

"I haven't read it," she stated quietly. She held it out for him to take. "I... thought you might want to read it first and... so I thought I should ask first." She watched him, waiting somberly for an answer.

Ataro chose again not to read the note. Carefully, she folded it and placed it in her free pocket. It would be better to wait, as RuGaard wished.

Ataro hesitated as he turned to her with the torch, confusion flashing in her eyes for a moment. It was an unexpected move. Letting the silence between them continue, she took it, and felt her heart rate increase as she looked into the flame. Her gaze fell to Kaira, who looked happy even now.

Once she was sure the fire was set she let the makeshift torch fall in. "You had so much ahead..." I can shut it out. Ataro stood and took a step back. But you can't do it forever. She sat down again, and suddenly was more aware of how quiet the world had really been since she woke up. "... I hope this is something you would have liked. RuGaard did a good job," she said to Kaira, then paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't know why you did it. I don't know if I'll understand after we read your note. But I will try. You did not seem to me like the type to give up, you seemed like a fighter... and it looked to me like you might have tried to go fighting. I know I'm going to keep fighting, and if I do ever lose, I will try not to go easy. I'll try to keep RuGaard going too, and... who knows, maybe we'll find others still. We have a lot to look for."

Ataro looked down at her hands, her nails. Claws. "... I think that's it." She looked over at RuGaard. "... what about you? You mentioned having a goodbye before."

She was aware of the smoke climbing high into the air above them.

((Sorry it took me half a month to get back on Gaia. It feels reaaaallllyyy good to be back though. biggrin ))

Ataro listened quietly as RuGaard gave Kaira his parting words. It brought words from that darn familiar voice into her own head again.

It is good to be confident but that doesn't mean you can never be afraid. No. It's okay. You shouldn't be ashamed of your fears, Cherry. Fear is important. Work with it. Let it be a guide, even. Instead of letting it bring you down, use it to move yourself up. Sometimes it's better to be afraid than it is to be fearless.

The fire was growing, and the smoke it produced would likely be very visible by morning. If not by sight, then anything out there might find them by smell.

Ataro didn't like to cry. She really didn't like to cry. It made her feel weak. But there was that familiar pressure in her eyes. I can't hold it in forever, she told herself, repeating what that voice in her memories told her. Besides, she had seen RuGaard cry, and considering all he had gone through and survived, he couldn't really be called weak. If he could just let go, then why couldn't she?

Ataro reached into her pocket and pulled out Kaira's note, unfolding it before handing it to RuGaard. What were they about to learn? She took a deep breath, then exhaled, a bit shakily.

"Ugh," she made herself say aloud, "I hate being scared. I thought I finally had it under control."