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 Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:15 am
Val allowed himself a slight smile and closed his eyes. "I expected unfavorable reactions... I just wasn't sure which ones. I don't want you to act any differently than you feel, Nyoko. If you feel repulsed, I want you to show it. Don't hide it from me." He looked up at him, crimson eyes blazing though his face showed surprisingly little emotion. "I'll see it anyway." He sighed and looked away. "The only thing time would do is get you used to it. The feelings may dull, but they will not inherently change, unless you come to understand differently."
He was not sure what he should do. Nyoko was crying, but to comfort him seemed wrong. The boy was only angry at himself for being himself, and if Val could change that, the angel would have tried to change himself as well, long ago. He hated dwelling on the past, he wanted to be able to embrace what he was and move on. But he cared too much about what others thought, which secretly angered him and drove him away from people in general. And here even Nyoko could not be what he had promised to be: understanding.
He turned back to Nyoko. "You realize I will always be a killer. I will always have this monster in me. Neither facet of myself will be suppressed or ignored. They are a part of me, as a whole."
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:40 am
"Thats just it though, I DONT feel repulsed by you, I still feel the same as I would have even if you didnt tell me. I swear to you now that I just dont feel any different towards you, I cant, hard to believe but I love you and my heart wont allow me to hate you or feel repulsed by you or anything. Im sorry Val but this is my true feelings, I am still feeling the same for you even if you didnt tell me" he said sincerly, his true feelings were still the same, he didnt hate Val at all, he didnt find him repulsive, he still fouind him the same angel he fell in love with.
"I still love you Val, my true feelings are those that I have had for you even before you told me. I understand this is a serious matter but I still love you no matter if you had told me or not but the only thing I dont know is what I should ask. I feel like I should be asking questions yet at this present time I just dont know what those questions should be and if i should even ask them when I do know.
I just cant feel anything for you other then love, that is my honest feelings. I feel sorry for you for going through such an ordeal but I also love you because you are the guy who has my heart and if i force myself to be anything then be true to my feelings then I am just going to hate myself.
So no Val, I dont feel repulsed by you, I just love you the same as if I never knew. I know it isnt the answer your looking for exctly but I just cant hate you, I just cant, I love you far to much to hate you over something like this" he said knowing it sounded strange but it was true, he couldnt hate or feel repulsed by the angel no matter how much he tried, he loved Val and his past wasnt going to change that about him no matter what.
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:50 pm
Val smiled faintly to himself, having listened to Nyoko rant on, refusing to let things sink in before deciding how he really felt. Or, perhaps what he was saying was true, that he really did love Val no-matter-what, but the fact remained that he would not see, would not listen. He seemed to think that everything would all work out in the end, yet the dark-winged angel knew otherwise.
He sighed. "Ny...you may love me, but you are obviously not thinking this through. If you want to ask questions but can't formulate them yet, that's fine. Perhaps we both need a little time to think things over for ourselves." He rose to his feet and looked down at Nyoko. "And contrary to what you think, I do not want you - or anyone! - to feel repulsed. I simply know how others can and have felt in the past...their fear, their hatred, the pain I've seen and caused because of who and what I am. I've isolated myself for so long for a good reason, ne. Think on that carefully, please."
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:23 pm
"I know you have isolated yourself for a good reason, I now know you were a killer and still am as well as some beast. But I just cant find a single thing wrong with this, I mean yeah its serious but we all have skeletons in our closet that we dont like. hard to believe, even I have skeletons in my closet that I dont like and wish I never had but thats just it, it is the past and while yours is still in play and will always be in play all I can do is stand by you no matter what.
Be a killer, be a beast, be whatever you want but I just cant sit here and just tell you I am going to stop loving you till I have properly thought this through because I would be lying to myself and im not about to do that. I will think this thing through properly though believe me when I say that listening to my heart right now it is still making me love you dispite what you said.
I love a killer and a beast who under went terrible experimentation and isolated himself because of it. I understand this, but I know there is more to it and I will think on this but I am not going to sit here and say that I dont love you when I will be lying to myself. No matter what I come out with when I properly think of this" he said getting up and walking over to the angel, wrapping his arms around his waist "I am ALWAYS going to love you. I dont care if you dont believe me now but I am going to stand by you on this no matter what, you arnt getting rid of me, I am not going to lie to myself and keep my distance from you till i have sorted this out.
you wanted someone to listen to you, I did, you wanted someone to understand you, I am trying my hardest as no everyone is going to understand this stright off the bat but god knows I am not leaving you no matter what happens. Your stuck with me sweetie, I love you and thats the honest truth so wether you believe me or not is up to you but dont expect me change my feelings towards you after I have thought about this because it isnt going to happen no matter what"
He said kissing the angels forehead and pulled away from him, walking over to the piano he sat down and started playing Moonlight Sonata which always was one peice of classical music that always calmed him down and made him think things through.
However, after a few moments he stopped and looked at the angel "im sorry, this peice of music always calms me down and lets me think" he said as he shut the piano "would you like something to drink?" He asked, thinking that maybe this will be best left think about later which he would but this time was meant to be spent with his angel and right now he could use a drink, preferably a rum and coke. He understood it was a serious matter but there was no rule saying he had to think about it now was there? He just wanted to spend time with the angel yet made a mental note to think about this later, just not now when he wanted time alone with the angel.
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:51 pm
Valentino simply did not believe it, the catbunny's determination that bowled over the borders of 'stubborn' and passed right through into the realm of 'pig-headedness.' Fine. Obviously it was his attachment to Val and their physical closeness that was defying Nyoko's logic and better judgement. Since when was a sometime mindless were-beast better than a vampire - the one creature that had terrified Nyoko the most, not so long ago?
The lengths at which Nyoko was willing to go to skirt around the issue were astounding, first to play a piano piece that he admitted calmed him down, next to want an alcoholic drink. The angel supposed he wanted to continue with the tour, maybe fool around in the bedroom when they were done?
"It's a nice piece you're playing, Ny," he said quietly as he watched the bunnycat play, smiling lightly and not at all conveying his deep-seated irritation. He listened to the music for a time, then shook his head when Nyoko asked if he wanted a drink. "No that's all right, Ny. Why don't you relax and consider things for a while and I'll do the same. I can come back for dinner later tonight if you want. You can probably find me at the shop."
He flicked a smile Nyoko's way and kissed the top of his head before striding out of the room, finding his own way outside.
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:03 pm
Nyoko, upset the angel was gone yet also please though he wasnt about to say that he was scared of him. He ran up to his room and shut the door, locking it and just fell onto his bed and cried for one reason and that was because the whole situation did in fact scare him and being strong in front of Val was hard on him. He laid there crying, thinking about what the angel said.
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