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 Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:10 am
Raven stretched sleepily and pulled the heavy cloak tighter around her. Blue must have given it to her. She sighed and pulled her legs up to her chest, curling up in a ball.
How long had she been asleep? She shrugged, not caring. She tried desperately to remember what they had talked about before she had fallen asleep. She sighed again, giving up for the moment.
It seemed that sleeping was her minds way of trying to forget about what was going on around her. She couldn't keep doing that, but she felt good about it this time. She didn't think she had fallen asleep on a bad note.
She uncurled her legs and pushed herself to a sitting position.
"ugh..." She held her head, trying to focus her vision. She had sat up too fast. Once her vision had cleared, she tried to push herself up to a standing position. She failed. Her legs felt like jelly. Instead, she just sat there, her big grey eyes slowly awakening to what was around her.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:19 am
Blue Bastarache was lost in his pain as he heard Raven awaken. His ears passed it through his mind without registration. His tears were falling still, and loss was rising.
Then, he felt something. A warmth waking up. A love awakened, snapping open Pandora's Box inside of him. He pushed his head up, and felt the list in his hands grow stiff of the cold.
Careless, he took the frigid piece of paper, and slid it on his exposed wrist; letting his blood flow onto the words she had written. The bloodstained paper fell from his hand onto the snow as he stood. He turned away from the vision of death and he walked over to Raven, his blood still flowing onto the snow. His life was flowing out.
He sat by Raven, and his bloodstained hand caressed her cheek, shaking in a desperate quake.
"Good morning..." he said, looking at her with a sick glare; love and loss combined.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:25 am
Raven pulled away from Blue, out of shock. Black curls, red with the blood that was on her face, fell in front of her eyes.
"Blue love, what happened?" Her words were worried and her eyes were scared.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:26 am
Jalie walked slowly by a small stream. The dark trees seemed to touch the sky. She held her hands on her no longer swollen stomach, out of habit. Her sad lonely eyes watched the slowly swimming fish.
She sighed to herself and sat down next the the stream, stretching her white wings as she did so. She put her feet in the cool water and giggled slightly, despite herself, as the fish tickled her feet.
As she sat she slowly started to sing a song her mother used to sing to her in her native language. The wind slowly began to blow around her, making her red hair blow in the breeze. Tears ran down her cheeks as she sang. What was left for her to do?
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:30 am
((You can join us if ya wish Jalie.))
Blue Bastarache couldn't speak the words. All he could do was take a look at his bloodied palm; the pierced palm of his unholy hand. Stained. Dirty.
Loss.
The feeling rose once more as his "clean" hand gently took Raven's hand, and he slid forward to kiss her, his lips shaking slightly out of the pain and the tiredness that was washing over him.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:34 am
Raven's worried eyes watched Blue, curiously. When he leaned foward to kiss her, her first instinct was to kiss him back. She started to, but when she realized he hadn't answered her question she pulled away. She couldn't stand the pain he was feeling, she could feel it too and she wanted to know why.
"Please, talk to me..."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:38 am
((when i get off the phone maybe))
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:44 am
Blue Bastarache felt her pull away, as his hand dropped. The blood was flowing out of his wrist; way too fast for him to live long enough to tell her all he wanted to. He wished to heal it, he wished for it to disappear.
The wound stopped bleeding almost instantly. But it stayed open, aching deeper within as wind gently fondled it.
"Joy is... gone." he said, "She's... dead. And with her... dies a part of me that I lost a long time ago. With her dies our joy." he sighed, "Isn't it so funny..? She wasted away her time trying to give us the happiness we have lost a long time ago. Joy must stay happy for others. she said. She couldn't even do the things she wished to do before... she said goodbye."
He bent down his head in shame and sorrow.
"I'm sorry." he said, "I'm sorry for not helping her."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:54 am
Raven watched him with sad eyes. She didn't know what to say. She had never really known Joy, only Ella.
She placed her hand on his wrist.
"Let me help you..."
She didn't know what else to say. His pain was hers and she felt it too. She wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault, but she couldn't.
"Let me help you..." she repeated.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:00 am
Blue Bastarache felt a thought spring inside of his mind, and grow.
Your pain ain't love. You're heartless, how can you love? You're the heartless - see what your work has built; the loss of innocence and joy.
His dead eyes looked into hers, filled with a void tiredness.
"You help me all the time." he said, his voice soft and gentle, "For once, let me help you. Tell me what I can do to make you happy. I cannot feel joy for I cannot feel anything at all; but I wish for your head to be among the clouds - where it belongs."
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:10 am
Raven watched him and then slowly spoke, her words soft and careful.
"No one can give me what I want...not even you." Her sad eyes watched his, filled with pain. She felt hopeless. She felt like giving up. She couldn't help him anymore...it felt like he was giving up. If he would, so would she.
"I can never feel that way again Blue..." Her hand glowed, healing the self-inflicted wound on his wrist.
"You look so tired..." Her hand reached up to touch his cheek, but she changed her mind and let it drop. Her eyes followed her hand into her lap. Then it dawned on her. She couldn't do anything to take away his pain. She never could...
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:11 am
Jalie stood up, her song finished.
The whole world was falling apart. Joy was gone, Dante was gone...everybody was just gone. She placed her had on her stomach once again. It had been a long time since she had felt this much pain, except this time it was without anger.
She turned away from the river. She felt like she would never be happy again. She wanted someone to hold her, someone to tell her it would all be okay, but that wouldn't happen. It was her that was supposed to hold everyone else together. She had to be strong.
She took a deep breath and wiped away all traces of tears. She couldn't let herself hurt anymore. She stood up straight, took in a deep breath, and walked, her head held high. Her bright blue eyes showed only wisdom and knowing. They seemed to hold the burden of the world...the pain of all others. She couldn't involve her own pain in that.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:16 am
Blue Bastarache felt his heart break inside of his chest.
"I'm tired of hurting you." he said, "As I had mentioned to you before. And yet to know I cannot give you what you want is..." he felt the wound on his wrist slowly being opened again by itself, bleeding momentarily before stopping, "...painful. What is it that you crave for to feel 'that way' again..? That which I cannot give you..?" he demanded, sadness poured onto the love he had spoken out with those words.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:19 am
Raven watched him.
"You already know what it is." Her eyes watched the wound open on his wrist again. She felt defeated. She couldn't even make something so simple go away.
"I want to help you stop hurting. I want to make you happy..."
'But that can never happen...'
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 10:32 am
A smile shone on his face as he heard those familiar words; a sincere smile that was shed onto his skin. A light danced in his eyes, as he finally knew that he loved her.
As the light slowly faded, he spoke the words, "Don't be stuck on the little things that make me ache. I'm tattered and torn deep inside - but that is not related to you. Dear God, my... You, Raven, you alone are the only thing that stands between me and ultimate darkness. You are the only thing that stands between me and the cavernous, cold depths of the grave." tears filled his eyes as he continued, "Please don't..."
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