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 Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 5:04 pm
Officially accepted to Sierra College! Now to convince the US government that it's a good thing I will come and spend my money in their country....
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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 10:12 am
Chalda Kori, after spending the last two year in a pretty similar situation I can understand. Trust is super super hard and if he isn't doing anything to earn it then it's going to be really hard for you to give it no matter how much you want to. I went through that exact same thing except over other stuff.
I knew I should leave too. I knew it in my brain but my heart was still too emotionally invested and I couldn't let go. You can't until you really reach your breaking point and every ones is different. Even when you know the ending is going to be bad that little piece of you has to hold onto the hope that it might improve.
I know no one will be able to tell you to leave but we all want to save you from any more hurt and I think even now you know this isn't good for you in the long run. The short term just isn't worth the pain. Thanks Chalda. I'm so glad that someone gets it. All my friends are just like, "Ditch him, you're better than this." I know I am, I know I deserve more... But they don't know how amazing we are when we're actually together. One of the medics at camp was talking to me about it and his advice was, "When the bad days outweigh the good days, its time to get out." As much as I want to believe it, it's just so hard. Gah... I'm not even coherent right now. I just wanted to say thanks for understanding.
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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 2:02 pm
Kori Elzix Thanks Chalda. I'm so glad that someone gets it. All my friends are just like, "Ditch him, you're better than this." I know I am, I know I deserve more... But they don't know how amazing we are when we're actually together. One of the medics at camp was talking to me about it and his advice was, "When the bad days outweigh the good days, its time to get out." As much as I want to believe it, it's just so hard. Gah... I'm not even coherent right now. I just wanted to say thanks for understanding.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:28 am
Soleq.... I need some free webhosting here....
Also, I'm so sick of people thinking that I'm 14. And I'm not hot. And yeah. My boyfriend was really sweet to me the other day when I was feeling bad/sick and that was nice. Except I think it had something to do with the fact that my birth control pills made me sick (again).
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:21 am
xLaurelX Soleq.... I need some free webhosting here.... Also, I'm so sick of people thinking that I'm 14. And I'm not hot. And yeah. My boyfriend was really sweet to me the other day when I was feeling bad/sick and that was nice. Except I think it had something to do with the fact that my birth control pills made me sick (again). Why are you not hot?
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:51 am
Kori Elzix ButterBalls Ah. You know Relay for Life sounds really familiar. What kind of work do they do again? I know you talk a lot about counseling and kids but do they do charity walks and runs? "Cause that sounds really, really familiar. Since we don't frequently talk here I'll ask a lot of questions? Why did you guys break up originally? Why are you taking him back? Relay for Life is put on by the Canadian Cancer Foundation. I'm pretty positive that it runs in the states too. Which is why it probably sounds familiar. Its a HUGE event, where you just walk all night. Its amazing. Actually, your equivalent might be Light the Night. They work I do with the Cancer foundation, doesn't involve a lot of walks or runs. Mostly I just do camps and programming... Like taking my kids wakeboarding this weekend. And now for the big one... I don't know why we broke up. He says its because he's away and he feels guilty knowing that I'm sitting here waiting for him. Which is a load, because I'm doing anything but waiting. But when we broke up, he said he needed space. I don't know why I'm taking him back. When I'm with him, I feel SO good and everything feels so right... But when I go a week without him, I just doubt everything. If we talk in that week, then I'm ok, but most of the time we don't. He came back into town on Fri and came to see me... Even though it was hella late and he was tired. And everything was amazing... He even said he'd try and come out and meet my friends on Sat. Sat came, he called me and talked for a bit, promised he'd see me that night... I called him like, eight hours later and he was stunting, said he was sorry and he'd call me back... And that was the last time I spoke to him. Apparently I called him a lot last night, which I didn't realize because I was drunk, but he never answered his phone. I texted him today to apologize, tried calling... And nothing. So now I feel like Fri night was just a booty call. I dunno. I need to learn to trust him, but I just don't know if I can. Its so complicated and messy. He says he wants to be with me, said he was going to come home to be with me for my birthday next weekend... Which is great that he's saying these things... But he's not doing anything to actually prove he wants to be with me. He can't even return a ******** call or text. I'm so frustrated and upset that I don't know what to do. My friend keeps telling me to ditch him, but she doesn't understand that it's a lot harder to ditch someone that you're emotionally attached to. Wow, that was a long a** bitching session. I'm glad that you're doing well Butters. At least one of us is. Mmk. I'm still not recognizing it but it will come to me one day when I see it on a commercial or something. So, you know how to wake board? That's interesting that we're having some of the same issues and it's coming from a woman. I never used to think that badly of women and I still don't, but when I'm consumed with the same 3 over and over, it's hard to believe there's a differing opinion (which is why I ask other women all the time smile ). A lot of talk and not a lot of doing. Yep. I understand that. You know what to do, so I won't give a speech. Just make sure you listen to yourself if you feel threw with it.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:03 pm
ButterBalls xLaurelX Soleq.... I need some free webhosting here.... Also, I'm so sick of people thinking that I'm 14. And I'm not hot. And yeah. My boyfriend was really sweet to me the other day when I was feeling bad/sick and that was nice. Except I think it had something to do with the fact that my birth control pills made me sick (again). Why are you not hot? Okay well maybe I am but just not in that picture I posted.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:32 pm
xLaurelX Soleq.... I need some free webhosting here.... Also, I'm so sick of people thinking that I'm 14. And I'm not hot. And yeah. My boyfriend was really sweet to me the other day when I was feeling bad/sick and that was nice. Except I think it had something to do with the fact that my birth control pills made me sick (again). Working on it... If you're really impatient, check out Astahost. It's the free webhost side of my paid webhosting service. Only requirements are that you actually post and that you sound intelligent. Shouldn't be too hard for you.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 9:13 pm
I am done with the b*****d. He ******** PROMISED he'd be home for my birthday this past weekend. PROMISED he'd come out and that we'd spend the night together. He texted me on Fri and told me he was in town and he'd call me when he could. He never called. I texted him with the time and place we were going for dinner... He never showed up. I'm so angry with him, so mad about it. And what pisses me off even more, is that the b*****d was in town, TOLD me he was in town, and he still didn't show up. This is probably the first time I've even talked about it, because well, I don't even really want to talk about it. I'm so incredibly ******** pissed off at myself for believing that things were going to be different this time around and that we'd be like we were when we started dating. He ******** screwed me over. SO pissed off at him. I haven't spoken to him in over a week now, and I couldn't care less if he fell off the face of the ******** earth. I phoned him and left him a message that said, "I'm not doing this anymore. We're done." He's apparently taking it seriously, because he hasn't responded. dafklj;sdklafj;asdjf;asdjfasdjkasdkl;ajsdfjkl;asdfajkl;f
That pretty much sums up how I feel right now. Sorry for all the swearing.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:33 pm
Hugs for Kori. It's for the best hun. Time to move on. *big hugs*
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Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:19 pm
Soleq xLaurelX Soleq.... I need some free webhosting here.... Also, I'm so sick of people thinking that I'm 14. And I'm not hot. And yeah. My boyfriend was really sweet to me the other day when I was feeling bad/sick and that was nice. Except I think it had something to do with the fact that my birth control pills made me sick (again). Working on it... If you're really impatient, check out Astahost. It's the free webhost side of my paid webhosting service. Only requirements are that you actually post and that you sound intelligent. Shouldn't be too hard for you. what if it is hard?
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Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 7:10 pm
I got all of my hair hacked off for Locks of Love again. The obvious differences are how cold the back of my head gets when I'm in the Walk-In at work, and that I use entirely too much Shampoo/Conditioner when I wash my now lack of hair.
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Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:09 pm
xLaurelX Soleq xLaurelX Soleq.... I need some free webhosting here.... Also, I'm so sick of people thinking that I'm 14. And I'm not hot. And yeah. My boyfriend was really sweet to me the other day when I was feeling bad/sick and that was nice. Except I think it had something to do with the fact that my birth control pills made me sick (again). Working on it... If you're really impatient, check out Astahost. It's the free webhost side of my paid webhosting service. Only requirements are that you actually post and that you sound intelligent. Shouldn't be too hard for you. what if it is hard? It's not hard. You just find an intelligent discussion and add to it. I'm trying to focus my cash on other avenues right now, but if you want to help, the cost is $33 per year.
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Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:11 pm
Tirion I got all of my hair hacked off for Locks of Love again. The obvious differences are how cold the back of my head gets when I'm in the Walk-In at work, and that I use entirely too much Shampoo/Conditioner when I wash my now lack of hair.
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:49 am
My week of hell officially starts in about 9 minutes. Working 52 hours. I'm thinking that I'm going to be spending a lot of time sleeping.
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