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 Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:39 pm
Granted. But it breaks. As simple as that. stare
I wish for a xun flute.
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:09 pm
Granted, and you reciave it, but when you try t suck in air, you accidently suck the flute in, it gets lodged n your throat. The cops find you next to a stand, with the music used to summon Hitler's spirit from the dead. You died before your plot could come in to play.
I wish I was a communist.
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:30 pm
Granted. Now you are to be ripped apart by unaccepting U.S. citizens being supervised by the U.S. government. Your body will be sent to Cuba and burned.
I wish I could sleep.
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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:38 pm
Granted. You now can sleep. You spend the first moments you possibly can sleeping, enjoying every last moment, all the way to REM. Then you start to have nightmares. Horrible nightmares. You wake up instantaneously, and cannot fall asleep the rest of the night. This process continues every night, for the next two years. Every day you grow wearier and wearier of the nightmares, every day growing more tiresome, more irritated, more angry, until finally, they cause you to snap. You wake up in the middle of the night, slip into simple clothing and hop into a car. You force the driver to take you to the nearest firearm store, where you purchase a semi-automatic Jericho handgun. You keep the gun with you for the rest of the day, until you arrive in a crowded location, where you proceed to fire aimlessly into the crowd, killing at least three innocent civilians, mortally wounding two more, and injuring more than 13. You put the gun to your forehead and attempt to commit suicide, but you have run out of bullets. Before you can purchase more, you are dragged away by police officers were you are sentenced to life inprisonment. You arrive in your cell moments later where you fall onto the bed, and eventually drift off to sleep. There are no nightmares that wake you up this time, however. There is only one permanent nightmare that you are forced to remain in, until you wake up. The nightmare grows more and more terrifying with each passing moment, and adrenaline is forced into your body due to fear. Too much adrenaline enters your bloodstream, speeding up your heart up until the point where it fails on you, and you die in your sleep. This sleep, is permanent.
I wish I could write indifferent grafitti.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 10:53 am
Granted, the graffiti you write is indifferent. In fact, it is also a masterful work of art. And people adore it from everywhere. However, gangs don't like that your giving graffiti a good name. You thus get shanked (which I explained to Lexia...) and are shot in both kneecaps. The Yakuza decides to get in on all of this as well. And they grab you by the neck and snap it into a painful position. Now the nerd gang E=MC squared, decides they need to finish the job. You are then cascading by a nerd's (live from the movie) HOLY HAND GRENADE! Kablooey.
I wish for a legion on my pancreas.
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:54 pm
Granted, but you never specified what kind of legion. The type of legion that is on your pancreas, is a legion of cancerous cells, which do not give you pancreatic cancer, but do cause enough damage before being removed to destroy your pancreas, and give you diabetes. You live every day, taking tests about your blood sugar, and then one day, you accidentally take too large a bite from a cinnamon bun. You land in a heap on the floor, suffering from an overly high blood sugar level, and make attempts for help, but no one comes. You die.
On the bright side, you aren't diabetic when you get to Heaven. If you're going there.
I wish that I had a pet spider monkey with a microchip in it's head which made it so that it could harm no human beings.
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:08 pm
Granted, he is awesome. His name is Jake. Jake the spider monkey. Unfortunately for you Jake is gay. Jake is also very horny. Jake is not near anyoneof the same species. Jake loves the closest thing, You. I guess it literally is monkey see Monkey Do. (Bow-chicka-Bow-wow)
I wish for a magical pixie stick. Not the candy, a thing a pixie waves.
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:47 pm
Granted. But you are not worthy of the magical pixie goodness and the stick turns on you, making your head asplode.
I wish the zoo animals could be free.
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:11 pm
Granted, they are set free. The zoo business is now down. The creators of zoo time merriment are thinking of a new marketing angle. Animals are running rampid in the mean time. They have an idea, they want to start a slurry business!!!! THey now have a little Annie slurry company. All the animals you let free, are now blended and fit into a convenient easy grab can. Looks like you did more bad then good.
I wish for a pile of slime.
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:47 pm
surprised stare -growls-
Granted. You get a pile of slime, oh boy, do you love your pile of slime. You take your pile of slime with you everywhere you go, holding in the palm of your hand. One day, as you are standing on a street corner with your slime, not saying why or anything, a car drives by and hits you hard with water, washing your pile of slime down into the sewer and away forever. Meanwhile, you look like an idiot, standing soaking wet on the corner of the street with traces of what used to be a pile of slime left on your clothes. To make things worse for you, a puppy comes up and pees on you and its owner comes up and kicks you. All of the surviving zoo animals trample you and your body is washed into the sewer as well. Hey, maybe you could be reunited with your pile of slime, after all! That is, if the sewer rats don't eat you alive first.
I wish it was sixty degrees outside.
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:26 pm
Granted, it's sixty degrees outside. All of the snow melts!!!! YAY for you!!!!! Well, that's what you would of said...but unfortunately, you melt on contact with water, you are forced to stay inside while your family leaves you. You sit inside. Your mom left the heater of. It becomes so hot, that yor head just pops. Whoops.
I wish for photoshop on this computer.
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 4:41 pm
Granted. But instead of getting your lovely program, you get to shop online for bad pictures of your nude mother.
I wish for more garlic bread.
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 5:29 pm
Granted, you here the door bell ring, it's a vampire. You get bitten, you become a vampire, but all that garlic bread makes you die out of an untimely coincedence. That sucks (pun intended.)
I wish for lockjaw.
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 11:17 am
... how did I know you were going to say that?
Granted. But your lockjaw never goes away, and you end up like me, with a slightly crooked jaw and are never able to open your mouth fully again.
I wish I had some hemp.
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 11:27 am
Granted. You get an enormous amount of hemp, good for anything. You make it into clothes, and toys, and put it into food and smokes. You enjoy every moment you possibly can making awesome hemp stuff. Then, one day, you get lost in the woods, wearing a bunch of hemp clothing and carrying only a few matches on your person. You've become addicted to the hemp, and without realizing it, start having a dependence on it. For a time, you wander the woods, and then you finally go mad with the lack of hemp. You decide to try whatever you can. You sit down on the ground, take off your hemp clothing and burn it, inhaling all the wonderful hemp smoke. Unfortunately, it was an extreme amount of hemp, and so you end up becoming even crazier. You run through the woods at high speeds, never running out of breath, not even knowing where you're going. Finally you find a city, just as your high is starting to drop. You walk through the city, still a bit dazed, so you have no clue where you are or why people are giving you funny looks. You end up running into a cop who then arrests you on charges of public indecency. You go to jail, and are given bail a few days later by a man wearing a purple suit. He saw you when you were still high in the city, and liked what he saw. He says you have to pay him back for the money he used to get you bail. And then you realize what city you ran into.
Las Vegas. Whoops! Sucks to be you. Let's just hope he's a nice pimp.
I wish that I could turn people into other things.
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