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Yesterday, I was daydreaming, as usual, and I couldn't really see where I was walking. While I was daydreaming I walked near the girl I like without knowing it. She was right in front of me while I was looking to my right at something else. When I looked in front of me, I saw her and I felt embarassed because I was just right next to her. I mumbled "Oh, I'm sorry about that. sweatdrop " and she just quickly walked away blushing with a nervous expression on her face. She then went to talk to her friend for a while. Damn, I had to make an idiot out of myself like that. gonk

I know when I tend to try and plan something perfect, it never turns out perfect... just a jumble of good and bad points. seems better to me to plan something, like lunch somewhere nice followed by whatever, (row boating, movie, a walk) and it turns out great then that's awesome.

planning something to be perfect never will be. cause there is more than one person involved and maybe their sense of perfect is something different.
example:
you're look to have a good time, eat dinner watch a movie, be laid back, maybe hold hands, they're looking to got out, stay outside, play some games, and get a kiss... so to them it was a let down. sweatdrop

((Maybe I should just close this thread and put all my thoughts in my retired journal?))

I just finished watching 9/11 (Documentary of Michael Moore) It was my first time and although it did seem exagerated at times (don't ask me where). Lots of it was true.

The whole mission of that move was to inform us. Give us intelligence (a.k.a intel) or knowledge of the going-on's inside the White House and other things associated to that fatal day that did not killed millions of americans or some other countries-people. It killed simply people, boys and girls, men and women.

But, why must we know the things that go on from the gouvernment or know things that aren't our business (in general). Is it curiosity or the chance to include ourselves in a good conversation.

The Michael Moore movie did one thing. It informed us and caused a riot of more hatred to our president (No complaints here). I believed I've said this, but the what makes more friendships than ever, is a common enemy (or things we have in common).

I'm jumping off subject. Knowledge is power, and power comes with responsibility. But what kind of responsibilty? Are we repsonsible to tell what we know so they too can share the greatness of this power? Wouldn't we all be powerful (thus making us equal, making the power we own or know useless since we cannot use or bestow anyone else with it).

Right, so knowledge is dangerous as well. It can cause riots or hatred to that subject you either tell about (negatively means more hatred and postive means affection).

Many will associte sub-consciously knowledge with facts and that we can tie to that special word: The Truth.

I mean the whole truth. What other truths are there? Haha, here's an example.

At truth.com. A pretty comical situation was read through my eyes: "A prison cellmate can sue his the prison of unusal punishement and torture because of second-hand smoking from his other cellmate."

It went along something similiar to that. Naturally, this would have to be true for them to be able to show it through magazines and t.v. commercials. But, what they don't type up is the answer to my question: Does that cellmate win his case?

That answer is no, he doesn't all the time or most of the time by that fact and that really makes me mad (I'm ashamed to say because what they're doing is partially a good cause, I say partially because every good thing has a bad side. If websites like "Truth.com" and such actually made everyone stop smoking, then the tobacco companies would go out of business, the stock market and everything would stumble downwards majorly and institutions that would help you to stop smoking would pummel along with the tobacco companies and our currency would be lower than let's say the canadian dollar (This is off-hand hypothesis.)).

So the whole truth meaning the consequences I suppose of telling or knowing that truth (I don't know). Not everyone wants to know the truth. it ruins suprises and love relationships. Why is this knowledge so bad at all because it's a power no one is ready to fully handle. That I am sure of.

Actually, we can handle it as long as it isn't about us. But to be able to tell someone the truth (good and bad). Well, that's a different story and if I had more time and some interesting comments on this post. I'd maybe get into it.

That is all.

My friend Flood was saying how he likes to read people's actions and try to see what they're thinking. I asked him if he ever did that to me, and he said "No. You're too hard to read." I asked him why, and he replied saying "You put up a facade. Well- At least I think you do. You're always so happy. And that's it. When you're around people anyway, you're always happy. In the morning, when you're sitting there by yourself, you look miserable though."

I told him I wasn't miserable then. Just content.

But maybe I really am miserable. The last few weeks, when people ask me how life is, I tell them it's great. When they ask why, I tell them just because it is. Because there's nothing for me to complain about.

In reality, there's a lot I could complain about. But I just choose not to. s**t's been happening lately. My cousin asked me if I love my life, and I told her "I love my life. I love my friends. I love everything I have, and I'm happy. I appreciate everything that I have."

She told me to be honest with her and then she reasked the question. Then I became hesitant. Do I really love my life? Am I really happy? I told her I meant it when I said I love my friends. She said she could tell since I was sincere about it. But I don't know if I love my life.

I'm content. But I'm not happy. Voila.

Maybe I'm not even content. The facade I put up is something everyone's used to. It's something I'm used to. That's just how I express myself. Everyone assumes I'm some really happy, cheerful, bubbly, outgoing, peppy, individual. And that's how I show myself as.

I post in my Xanga all the time, saying how I'm happy. Saying how nice it is to be happy, no strings attached. Oh what a beautiful illusion I build for myself. I'm not happy. The strings that are attached are just invisible, thin. Waiting to show themselves.

I'm a very empathetic soul. I'm happy when others are happy. But lately, I've been content. At least, that's what I call it.

I think I'm just confused.

<333 Claireh. You already got my long reply to that, and I hope everything works out. I really tried x3 <33

Psch, shows your teacher how much s/he knows, that's hentai.

jklolrofflelmao rofl xd

rofl heart

I'm sorry Xero lol


Ick, that sucks Claireh Dx I hate it when people are like that.