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Tanya got up the next morning, yesterday instantly flooding her mind. She jumped up and rushed about the room. Her cell phone pressed to her ear as she called Shadow first, whom she knew would call Kyo. She then stopped half way through her getting ready when she thought of Rosuto. She would have to stop by the hospital to at least tell him what was going on and that she'd found him, right? Was she obligated too? She sighed and nodded to herself. Yes, yes she was and she reminded herself that she had vowed to make the two of them happy and try her damnedest at making sure nothing wrong befell of either of them again. She tossed her backpack on and raced out the door and into the direction of where the Hospital was.

Meanwhile, Hatomi wretched into the bucket that had been placed at his bed side. He'd wondered as to who could have placed these things here for him and oddly wondered if the land lord came by to check up on the place and found him laying face first passed out on the floor, with a fever. He sighed and knew he would have to thank him later. His head swam with a heavy lead like feeling to it. His eyes felt extremely watery and puffy, along with his limbs feeling like jellow. His stomach growled out in protest as he laid there hungry. He glanced about and found plenty of crackers nearby, with glasses of water and a wash basin. Enough to keep him sated till he returned probably. Hatomi sighed and took to eating some crackers which settled his stomach a bit. He took a sip of water before placing a cool water cloth on his forehead. He could tell the water had some ice in it, too keep it cool. He found his kitten laying on top of the night stand next to his bed to keep an eye on him. Those piercing eyes looking down at him as the sun's rays glistened across it's dark fur.

The kitten mewled softly and Hatomi weakly raised his hand up to stroke along the felines ears and spine. It nudged his hand slightly before he pulled it back, feeling a heavy feeling in said arm that threatened it to fall on top of the small kitten. Hatomi placed his arm across his chest and stared up at the ceiling in thought. A flush covering his face that he could feel made him aware just how sick he was. He wondered if he would recover from this, and he also wondered as to how long her would be bed ridden. He sighed and wondered if Rosuto was okay, before he closed his eyes and felt his depression from that morning rush back to him. His head pounded with rejection of it and he felt nauseated by the sudden onslaught of his depression. "This is nothing.....It's nothing compared to what Rosuto is going through and had gone through," He whispered hoarsely.

Tanya came upon the hospital panting, she walked in briskly and it wasn't long before she reached Rosuto's room. If he was a sleep then she would leave a letter for him. If he was awake she would tell him and then leave to check up on Hatomi. Either way Rosuto would find out.

When Tanya walked in she found him awake and she sighed happily that this would be easier then writing it out on paper. She stopped for a bit, bending slightly to catch her breath which was a little difficult for a bit, but she soon straightened out and took one deep breath before speaking to Rosuto, "I just came by to say, I found Hatomi yesterday after running into a man whom I had assumed was his landlord. I got to his house and everything looked normal at first until I saw him laying flat on his face near his room. He's extremely sick, and due to his family's history I am unsure if he will pull through quickly or be that way for a while, let alone die from it." She let that sink in for a bit, "I'm pretty sure what happened to place you here was our fault. But I think Hatomi's suffering more then he let's people know. He's not a coward and would never take his own life, instead he endures everything that is thrown at him. I know when he loves and cares for someone, but I can never tell when he's hurting, yet I can sense it now that things are making sense slowly. His mother died before you came back Rosuto, he was kicked out by his father whom still hurts him and threatens him."

Tanya felt tears well up in her eyes as everything felt like a chain of events thought would break anyone. "He hid his house and made sure his father would never find him. But this event will certainly reach that vile man's ears, and on top of this he realizes why his heart hurt to hurt you. Let alone I know that even know he beats himself up for those other kids deaths. I don't know how someone like him can endure so much and yet he never once took his life. I'm lost on how to help with that sort of thing, but I will nurse his health back to him. I just hope what I can do is enough," The tears slipped passed her restraint, "I know you've been through a lot too, Rosuto. Yet you made it look so easy to him, yet he knows he can never take that route. He would rather suffer then to take his life and make his pain vanish forever. Ever since you two were separated for so long, everything went down hill. I don't know what I can do or say to make you two understand, I don't know how I can get you to know, just how much he truly loves you, but I'm sure if one of you died the other wouldn't be able to live any long in this world where they are not in it as well." She said as she looked down at the floor letting her words flow like a river over her lips. Words she'd wanted to say for a while now and hadn't been able to, like a damn finally set free.

Tanya looked up at Rosuto wondering what he would say to the words she'd said. Her eyes conveying the emotions she was feeling, genuine emotions that weren't faked or a way to trick anyone. Though the longer she stayed here the longer she worried for Hatomi. He was so much like his mother, easily sick, strong headed, and often deluding himself into believing something that isn't what's true.

Hatomi, rolled to one side his hand shakily reaching out to take one of the glasses of water that was there. He coughed making the water splash a bit, before he brought it to his lips. The cool feeling of it made him hum softly before he decidedly put the glass down. Hatomi wonder if it was easier to not remember anything. To wake up one day and not remember anything that happened. To forget who you are, where your from, and whom cared about you. It would be easier to swallow everything, and for once not suffer over the things you know you did wrong or don't want to remember. He started wondering if Rosuto had ever had such thoughts as this. He sighed and his Kitten's ear twitched glancing over to see what he was doing, which wasn't much.

The thought of death scared him, and he always told himself that he'd rather suffer then die. He wondered deeply how much the others had felt before taking their own lives like Rosuto almost did? How many times did they try and fail before they succeeded? His thoughts tumbled around as he placed his hands against his throbbing head. Why can't he just go back in time and change what went wrong? He sighed, "Because it's impossible he croaked out, noting the hoarseness of his throat. He was definitely getting worse, which meant he was going to be bed ridden for a while.

Tanya sighed and walked over before she sat on the edge of his bed. "Look Rosuto I won't tell him any of that. I know your confused, lost, and unable to accept what is happening now when it didn't take place back when it all started. To tell you the truth I didn't think Hatomi would snap out of it until you showed up again," She sighed knowing this was probably futile to say, "Do you know about Hatomi's family life? The reason why he's lashing out at people who like the same sex?" She glanced over to the hidden Rosuto. "His current father abuses him, and threatens his life....I wouldn't be surprised if it was him who killed Hatomi's mother about a couple months after you vanished." She shook her head slightly. "After what happened between you two....and when you suddenly vanished shortly after that incident....Hatomi changed....but he was silently hurting and in order to try and appease the pain he felt. He struck out at something that had already hurt him and vanished. I feel ashamed that we did what we did to you when you first came back. Honestly I'm not entirely sure he knew what he was doing, and if he did then he must have realized the pain he felt doing it."

She clasped her hands together as she unwittingly heard Rosuto's soft sobs. "I really am sorry Rosuto....I know words don't mean much, but actions do....I can't leave either of you alone. Not now......not when everything seemed to be I dun know.....getting better.....I want to see a real smile on yours and Hatomi's faces....."

Hatomi shook his head and got up from where he'd been for a moment. slowly walking towards his closet to grab his jacket. Something was nagging at his mind and he couldn't ignore it, his feet carrying him to where ever it was that it was taking him. When he got outside he looked up at the sky, still as cloudy if not cloudier. Shaking his foggy head he stepped forward with effort in each step. He knew what some parts of his mind where thinking about...most Rosuto, and the ones he'd killed. I tour at his heart that he had ended up just like the very man he hated. He'd hurt someone who cared for him, and innocent others that had a resemblance to said person who cared about him. He was unaware where his legs had carried him, his slow sluggish movements had alert some nearby people as he approached the building Rosuto was being held at. He ignored them, and some how made it away from their prying words. When they couldn't get him to listen a nurse was told to tail him as he walked to where ever he was going.

Tanya bowed her head slightly in thought searching for the right words, "Would.....would you have been happy if Hatomi never knew? Would you have hurt yourself even then if Hatomi continued to stay ignorant and unaware of your being gay? Do you think that maybe now that everything has been messed up in some round about way of finding that love.....was for nothing?" She glassed over at the covers of Rosuto's bed unaware of Hatomi leaning against the door frame to Rosuto's room, listening in on their conversation now.....or what ever he was able to hear since getting there. The nurse behind him just as silent, noting that the other didn't wish to be noticed just yet. Tanya felt her heart clench knowing Rosuto was hurting just as deeply over this, "Regardless of all of this.... don't you think he still would have worried? If not then....was it all for not? telling him.... bearing the pain until you couldn't anymore..... and the facing a side of Hatomi that even Hatomi had known nothing about, until he saw something that snapped in him.....to make him realize he's been doing something even he had once told himself he would never do. So.....don't say your not normal.....you are normal, you can't help whom you love....You are normal Rosuto, you followed your heart to the bitter and and that's the truth." She had an urge to reach out and hold the boy but kept her hands to herself, tightly clasped in her lap. "I....I know I'm not good at words, or trying to say things that feel like they're nothing but a loud ruckus in my head, but I.... I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you, even....even if it doesn't make any sense...." She sighed placing her hands on her face. Something in her head told her that what she was saying was futile. That it meant nothing because Rosuto didn't care anymore, but she didn't want to give up hope.

Tanya jumped and it could be felt in the bed when she did it when Hatomi spoke, "But....it is my fault Rosuto....I *Coughs then pants slightly* I should have handled everything.....differently....." He paused in what he was saying trying to keep his wits about him, "I turned....into the very person.....I despised more....then gay people.....I turned....into my....*Cough roughly* My father. Before....I even realized what....my heart was telling me...." He closed his eyes and leaned heavily against the door. The nurse hesitantly reached out to him her hands hovering in case he fell, but the look he gave her made it clear he was being stubborn in not wanting the help. He panted as he looked over at Rosuto, "You did nothing wrong....you didn't hurt anyone....you weren't....weren't the one who made others suffer....it was all my fault. I caused pain....suffer...anguish....and death....to those who weren't deserving of such fates. I even caused....you to suffer......probably more then I know."

Tanya got up the look on her face showed she wanted to go to Hatomi, but was also torn with staying next to Rosuto, "If you go.....I go.....There are more then one ways to die...." The nurse started to panic at his words and she started to ramble and he slapped her hands away. This was important for him to say he didn't care if he looked or felt horrid. All he wanted was to tell Rosuto that he was not to blame. "I'm sorry I made you suffer, hurt, feel abandoned, feel lonely, sorrow filled, and anguished.....but don't you go blaming yourself for something I did.....for something I caused, and kept on causing......You....you made it look so easy.....I have thought many times....about death....and why it was always so hard to....try and off myself." He slapped the nurses hands away again and she became persistent. Which he fixed her with a dark look that told her to back off and let him finish talking. She swallowed nervously, and he sighed and apologized to her. She was only doing her job and he knew that, but he thought her concern to be unnecessary.

"So it's not your fault..." He coughed a particular cough that was rougher then the others his hand flying to his mouth. He kept coughing till it died down and he breathed heavily, "Don't hurt over my mistakes.....ugh.... I can't think straight...." He murmured the last few words to himself as he pressed his forehead against the door frame. Closing his eyes for a moment trying to gather his thoughts. "You were never to blame....never....I'm an idiot....to thick to listen and to hard headed to freak'n see the truth....and *coughs roughly again* I'm sorry I never.....saw it.....until it was to late.....but I want to....make things right again....sure things won't be exactly the same ever again.....but I want to try none the less...." He glanced over at Rosuto his face flush with fever, the hairs on his neck sticking to it because of the sweat his body was giving off. His features looked as weak as he felt but his eyes held strong emotions that went along with what he was saying. He fully turned his head to look at him again full on, "Please Rosu...to...I want to make things right again.....but I can't do it....alone." Hatomi felt his eyes watering and he let his hand shakily come up to wipe the water away.

Tanya reached out, "Hatomi.....you should be resting.....what if you get worse?" She spoke but stayed grounded next to Rosuto's bed. Her eyes flicked back and forth between the two. She knew Hatomi wouldn't listen to her, and she knew nothing she said would change his mind.

"Who cares if I get worse....I want....to talk to...Rosuto...I don't..." He panted and closed his eyes his breaths taking on a slight wheeze to it as he coughed. "I don't want.....to leave him...regretting something.....he would have regretted not doing.......gods...the air is so thick....in here...." He shook his head slightly, as he clasped his hand over his heart, he panted out his next words, "Will you....be willing...to try and start over....with me?....Rosuto?...." He stared at the other, his eyes never leaving him as he waited patiently and silently for the others answer. He hoped deep down that Rosuto understood, that he had conveyed what needed to be said, and that he would accept it. Tanya noticed his posture shifting slightly, showing he was reaching the end of his energy, that he'd some how dredged up from no where, started to wane

A relieved grin flitted across his features before it faltered and he closed his eyes to try and gulp in a breath of air. His form slumped a bit, "I'm....I'm glad...that....that we....can start......Over." He slumped forward and fell with an audible thud against the floor.

Tanya lurched forward, "HATOMI!!" She quickly knelt down next to him with the nurse as she yelled over her shoulder at another nurse who'd been passing by to get a doctor and stat. As she checked his vital signs while he layed there breathing heavily with shallow deep gasps. Tanya stroked his hair as she listened to the nurse mumble something about having him trying to breath normally, as quick as they can. When a few other medical personnel came in Tanya moved away back over to Rosuto's side. She knew she wouldn't be able to go with Hatomi, the doctors would be to busy dealing with him and would probably not allow her to come close until they were sure he was going to be okay. But what worried her now was Hatomi's father. He would surely be called and notified of Hatomi's condition and also be accused of child neglect it the doctors caught wind of the hidden wounds.

She hated the man that called himself Hatomi's father. She wished to who ever was out there to help Hatomi, if they could. She sat on the edge of Rosuto's bed and sighed heavily. "I hope to hell that man doesn't come here...... or Hatomi will be in more trouble then he's ever been," She mumbled to herself, not really thinking about keeping her thoughts to herself. All the sudden just very worried for Hatomi, and Rosuto that she forgot she wasn't alone in the room. She placed a hand on her forehead and let out a tired sigh. She glanced over at the door wondering if she should go or not, but she was afraid to leave the building in case that man showed up.

Tanya looked over to Rosuto, but otherwise said nothing for the time being. She stood up and walked towards the door looking out and to the entrance of the hospital, worry written on her features, as she watched for any sign of danger that could and would be there at any moment. She sighed "He was foolish to do what he did. His health is to much like his mothers was, and on top of that coming here may have cost him more then what he had wanted." She looked at Rosuto and smile gently, "but I'm glad though.....because now you both have a chance to start over....this time together." Her head snapped towards the room where they were keeping Hatomi, one doctor whispering to another, as another left to call whom ever it was they would calling. No doubt it would be Hatomi's father, and that wasn't a good sign. She glanced over at Rosuto, debating on if she should let him know what was going on or not. To be honest she didn't want the other to get in harms way, and Hatomi's father could do great harm if he was in a foul mood. If he asked though she would answer.

Tanya sighed, "I'm not sure....but if he isn't his father will sure as hell make it that way." Her thoughts had run away with her mouth and she blinked in surprise that she had actually said something like that. She didn't look over at Rosuto until she composed her features, once she had she looked over at him. "Hatomi always pulls through.....and this time he really does have a reason to try and get better....." She looked back out the door, "He's a stubborn fool, normally he can go long periods of time without even a sign that he's sick, and when he does....it's usually this bad.....if not worse. One time it had gotten so bad, we didn't think he was going to make it....but there was another reason for his condition in the first place...." Her eyes narrowed and a frown appeared on her as she watched the one person she hoped wouldn't show walked right through the front doors of the hospital. Her fingers tightened on her arms as she glared at the man as he walked up to the front desk. "Rosuto....what ever you do....please don't got to Hatomi's room just yet....I want you to wait here until I come back okay?" She looked over at him her eyes showing worry for him and fear for not only him but Hatomi as well.

All Hatomi remembered was the words he'd spoken to Rosuto, how happy he felt when the other had accepted what he'd asked of him. But he couldn't remember for the life of him on how he got in the room he was now in, with a nurse writing things down on a clip board. Then a thought popped into his head, 'wait.....if i'm here then....that man will be here soon....I can't be here....' Hatomi tried to sit up and the nurse jumped up and pinned him down and saying for him to stay down and rest. "I can't be here.....I can't stay..." the nurse asked him why and a voice at the door made him freeze and his breath catch, not even letting his eyes or body to move and look over at the man who'd spoken.

"I'd like to know why too Hatomi....you know it's not good for your health," The man said.


Hatomi felt sick at hearing the faked worry in the man's tone. A shiver raced down his spine as the nurse started asking him questions. Some about how he got this way and his father said he assumed it was because Hatomi wasn't going out in the rain with protective gear on. Which made sense to why he was feeling the way he was. Then the questions turned to how he got the markings on his arms and legs, and various other places. His father stated often had Hatomi been in fights with other students and had come home often nearly broken at times. Which was half true yes he fought other students, but never had he been so badly hurt that he couldn't walk. No....that was all his doing. The nurse smiled and she asked if she could see school records of his fights, which the school did have. Hatomi swallowed thickly when his father agreed to get them for her the before tomorrow since Hatomi was more then likely going to stay there.

The nurse then turned and left the man there with Hatomi and he could hear him approach the bed. "You did it this time you little brat...If I find you said anything to them, or that there is any trace that you spoke of this to anyone, I will have a nice little present for you to see when I forcefully drag your scrawny little a** home. Do you understand me?" He hissed out and Hatomi paled and nodded jerkily and the man's fake smile returned upon hearing the nurse return with the doctor in toe. "Don't worry Hatomi you'll be better in no time," Hatomi put his feature into a tight controlled mask of indifference. He really didn't want this man here right now.

Tanya watched the door to Hatomi's room looking to see Rosuto's answer before she left to spy in on the room when the nurse left to find a doctor. "Be right back," She turned and ran over to Hatomi's room silently listening to the keeping an eye out for the nurse and doctor to make sure they hadn't spotted her, which they hadn't, but she'd heard enough to let her know that the situation was looking to head in a direction that she didn't want to happen. She turned on her toes and walked back to Rosuto's room pausing at the entry way as the doctor motioned for Hatomi's dad to come out so they could talk. Everything about this man was fake and she knew it. She cursed under her breath, "I won't let it happen you bastered.....over my dead body will I let you do anything to him." Making sure her words weren't heard by Rosuto....unless he had supper hearing that is. She watched a bit longer as the man walked off with the medical personnel before he left to do his daily.....well what ever he did daily....probably drinking knowing that man. She sighed, "Coast is clear." It was her way of saying it was alright if the other wanted to go see Hatomi now. Well that's if he wanted too.