Welcome to Gaia! ::

I see. okay, that makes sense. haha.

i'm amazing.
the retreat i went to with my church was refreshing, i got to see my friends from outta town. and honestly i needed to get away from my town, and strengthen my relationship with god, i was getting lost, and i wasn't happy about it.

yes absolutely i believe in god. how can i not. i'm proof of his exsistance. and i'm not being conceited...i mean...any human is proof...plants, animals, etc. it's hard to look at this earth and not believe, even when so much bad happens.


and well we did alot of catching up, since i hadn't seen them since july, during camp....and this last year a friend of ours died at camp, he fell of a cliff that was slick, and it was bad. so we had alot to talk about, stories to tell and such.
and honestly, i did alot of crying and praying, and alot ALOT of praising and thanking. i was pretty much atheist until two years ago when i went to camp for the first time, and something hit me, and it was crazy, and i've been all about god since, but as life tends to do, i get broken down, and distant in my relationship and these retreats and camps are a way of me gettin' back into the good with my creator.

i don't always agree with the bible, in alot of ways it contradicts itself. haha. like what happened with the wrathful angry anti-bullshit god in the old testament? i mean...come on!!


and honestly, i think god doesn't take on any form. he is sorta...sorta like the force in star wars. he is everything that you see, and feel, and he penetrates all living things, filling those that believe with the holy spirit, giving those people a sorta release on the things that trouble them so. he is my king, my savior, and my friend. when i pray, i am on my knees bowing, but i am not being formal, i carry on a conversation...and yes.....i've heard God talk back. perfect example of said talking...when my friend fell, we were evacuated from the hiking grounds, and heading back to camp, and the whole 45 minutes i just prayed, about 25 minutes into the trip back i heard a voice tell me that i could relax, everything would be okay, and jake (the friend) was okay, he'd be alright. about an hour later, i found out he'd died. crazy stuff. haha.

and yeah. it did suck, he was 15, and it was his first year at church camp. it was horrible. i hate death so much.

i've been told that i could be crazy bc i hear god talk. but i don't think so....i'd be a little bit off if i was....i'm just someone who has a good relationship with their creator, and is lucky enough to hear him, and smart enough to listen to what he says, responding without hesitation when he guides me, and instructs me. <3


and yeah, it does suck, but all of us are okay now, we're still having trouble, but for the most part, the shock is over, the suffering is over, we're just moving on.

haha very alright, and yes, very good to know.


soooo....what all have you been up to this weekend now that i've preached my sermon. lol. blaugh

two concerts.....late night shenanigans. ya know, the works. haha. got to spend some time with friends of course, tried hard not to slaughter my ex in a church sanctuary....the typical i suppose.


and i've shot a bb gun...but i like my re curve bow better. hehe.