Welcome to Gaia! ::

Nitpicking means picking on very small things. Usually failings. I'll do the editing in a bit. I'm trying to figure out some computer issues right now.

I am beginning the formatting right now. You will likely know when it's finished. wink

EDIT: As promised, I didn't change a single letter. Just the format. I hope your RP actually lasts for a while.

Name: Ptah Day-star
Clan: Ptah
Real name: Kisecawchuck
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Pants?!: YES! Here, have some! =3

Race: Nuwisha
Profession: Wayfarer, Tesseract, a teleporter for hire. Need to get somewhere? Be around the city, around the world, or to another world, Day-star is available to get you there in seconds.All you have to do is ring a Chime located in many points around the city, and he'll be there.

Appearance: Nuwisha are a breed of coyote shapeshifters, and yet despite that, Day-Star normally appears as a Native America man in his late twenties. Namely, he has many features in common with the Cree tribe. His skin is clay red, and his hair is raven black and perfectly straight. He often decorates his hair with a menagerie of fetishes, charms, and other decorations made of natural materials in order to bring himself a bit of more exotic appearance. And though perfectly contemporary in his wardrobe, he takes a great pride in his style of keeping the old traditional garbs integrated into his day-to-day appearance. He does have five stages of shapeshifting, in which more and more of his coyote features come into play, until he reaches a full transformation. His coyote form has a black dorsal stripe from his nose to the tip of his tail, with a yellowish gray top coat and a buff colored undercoat. His socks are white, a omen that lead his tribe shaman to suggest he would walk a different path than the rest of the tribe. Whatever fetishes lay in his hair when he shifts, continue to dangle from the fur behind his ear.

Personality: The Nuwisha are believed to be the incarnation of earth's laughter. And Day-star is truly a paragon of this ideology. His expression is normally a grin, a grin that runs that gamut through all his emotions, sometimes in disturbing ways. He laughs loudly, frequently, and often at times when it's inappropriate to do so. But in his devil-may-care nature, this easy-going trickster doesn't seem to care how it might offend. He's a ball of hyperactive chaotic energy that bounces about; letting chance, a favorable wind, and a good dose of chaos theory rule over his trajectory.

Weapons: Heartsifter - Heartsifter is a Klaive. It is modeled after a Kopesh, with a white bone handle and a modern hardened steel blade with mother of pearl inlay along a blood channel. The Heartsifter is blessed by a dragonfly spirit, giving it two magical functions. First, when the blade is slashed through any scar in the gauntlet or other rift between worlds, it magically mends the strained space. In addition to this, it's secondary affect if that is can purge taint or corruption in living beings...the downside is that it must inflict an equal amount of damage for each point of taint healed.

Powers:
Umbral Affinity - Day-star holds a strong connection to the Umbra, letting him slip through the veil to it that much easier.
Snake Skin - One of the entry level powers for a Nuwisha, this ability allows him to slither from his skin like a snake, leaving a fake skin behind in order to escape bonds or grappling attempts.
Umbral Map - This ability allows Day-star to locate any destination within the Umbra.
Push - This ability allows the Nuwisha to force another being or object into the Umbra, and is the crux of his entire Wayfarer business.
Shadow Walk - This ability allows the Nuwisha to transfer himself to any location within the Umbra, even those normally forbidden to mortal beings. Though most are highly unpleasant for Day-Star to dwell in for even short periods.


Background History: Ptah Day-Star actually had a fairly idyllic background, born to a pair of Nuwisha parents in the midst of a Cree Reservation. His mother a member of the nurturing Kishijoten clan, and his father was a Kokopelli. He was believed at an early age to be blessed to walk a strange path through life by the Tribe's shaman, and it was noticed at a earlier age to have a extraordinary ability to travel into the Shadow Realm. He was quickly suggested to undergo the Umbral Danse and join the Ptah clan, the majority of his late childhood was spent as an apprentice to the arts of the Ptah. At the age of 16, he was sent forth on his Trial, to walk the Umbral and Earth, and learn to be wise from his experiences. At age 21, he returned to the clan to demonstrate his aptitude and new-found wisdom. Finding Day-star's growth satisfactory, his clan petitioned him for what he would do...and he spoke simply that he would like to continue on his journey, and explore more of the worlds between. For the past year, he has lived in Calesca, providing his services as a way to make a minor income on the side.

well, it's not like the charms are important or even hard to acquire. And yes, while very snakelike, the emphasis is upon the trickster aspect. Shedding one's skin to shock and surprise an opponent as you escape is quite the trick, and far easy to use than the alternate starting powers, which would be hard to play without godmodding.

There does seem to be something missing, But I can't pin my finger on it either. It might just seem bland because of all the SUPER-beings we've been discussing here. It's kind of refreshing to see a non-descriptive character. He doesn't seem to have much motivation for things though. perhaps that's it. He has very little background, or motivation for what he does. He likes shiny things, and precious things... okay. so do I, but I have reasons and thoughts, and emotions. perhaps that's it then.

You're welcome to post any improvements here, and I'll try my best to advise you further.

So you did. It does seem to make a little more sense now. He was a thief, and still is, but he helps ones less fortunate then him. That qualifies him for the Lovable Rogue trope. If not, he may just be a "Jerk with a Heart of Gold" which is referenced in that link.

Perhaps those will help you get a nice start on building him further. I think you've successfully fixed the motivation part. I already think of him as a more complex character. And that piques my interest more, as well.