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 Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 2:35 pm
Hrmm. Well, it's very interesting, that's for sure. I like the character and the idea. But that's not worth all that much.
First, in the biography. Are you saying that he killed 2 million people, alone? I don't really see how that could happen, and why it wouldn't be in a history book if it had. That needs to be either explained or tweaked.
Second, how has no one noticed how old he is, or the fact that he never left the military? Surely he was on record somewhere.
A group membership of "None" doesn't really work in this RP. He would have to be running with one of the crews or there's really no room for him to play.
He doesn't...have a magical discipline, meaning he doesn't exactly have any abilities. Hellfire and Altered Healing sort of lean towards Elementalism and Healing, but there's a lot of freedom there that should be restrained by identifying a discipline or two to stick to.
It's a good-looking profile. Just needs a few tweaks to fit it in right.
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:42 pm
Jokerman-EXE Hrmm. Well, it's very interesting, that's for sure. I like the character and the idea. But that's not worth all that much. First, in the biography. Are you saying that he killed 2 million people, alone? I don't really see how that could happen, and why it wouldn't be in a history book if it had. That needs to be either explained or tweaked. Second, how has no one noticed how old he is, or the fact that he never left the military? Surely he was on record somewhere. A group membership of "None" doesn't really work in this RP. He would have to be running with one of the crews or there's really no room for him to play. He doesn't...have a magical discipline, meaning he doesn't exactly have any abilities. Hellfire and Altered Healing sort of lean towards Elementalism and Healing, but there's a lot of freedom there that should be restrained by identifying a discipline or two to stick to. It's a good-looking profile. Just needs a few tweaks to fit it in right. Okay, here's the answers: 1: He had chemical help. Although the bio will be changed to "an unknown number of people died that day", he had a little chemical vial labeled "Reckoner Nerve Gas". The chemical was created to spread death and fear. However, it was heavily covered up, and with no eyewitness accounts (Reckoner Nerve Gas leaves no survivors), the event never made it to the books. If you want the full effects, and the chemical formula for brewing Reckoner nerve Gas, just ask. It's all in a little Notepad document on my hard drive (I will tell you that the formula includes Human Blood [16 oz.] and one Child's Heart). 2: Harrowed don't age. Yeah, their skin gets a little stiffer, but the manitou channels arcane power that keeps the Harrowed looking as alive as he was when he died (relative to the average cadaver, that is). Also, the military still had him, but he was never on record. Think "Black Ops" when the USA needed to leave NO survivors. 3: He can technically be a member of any group, but he doesn't give a damn about their causes. He does whatever he wants, god damn the spiritual consequences (As he artfully put it: "I already know I'm going to hell, but I'm gonna drag that sumbitch down with me!"). 4: It's not him doing the magic. The manitou in his head is behind ALL of it. The demon can also manifest more powers as time goes by, but it's the demon channeling arcane power, not Jack's power. Also, the Healing entry is more of a drawback then a power: A doctor healing him can't, since a doctor's medicine works with the patient's natural healing, of which a Harrowed has none. A mage casting a Healing spell won't do anything except waste Mana, since the magic is built for healing live flesh, not dead flesh. Hope this helps clarify a bit.
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 6:09 pm
1. No, that's fine. I just wanted an explanation. An unknown number is probably a better way of putting it anyway.
2. I'm not the main GM, but I sort of think that might be a problem. Continued in 3.
3. He's pretty much got to be in a group, otherwise he's going to be killed to prevent him from joining another group. And if he's had magic and been alive for as long as he has been, there's no way he could have avoided being approach by one of the groups. It's, uh, not really optional.
4. I get that, the explanation wasn't what's needed. I'm saying that his powers should be more defined. But again, I'm not the main GM.
If I were to say anything overall, it would be that the idea is good and that it works in principle; however, I would alter the species and the group membership so that they fit into the RP. If you haven't read the Wiki, now might be a good time to do so. You can preserve the character's personality, story, and abilities, but they need to be defined in terms of this RP.
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Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 3:11 am
The Jow gives good advice.
Also, keep in mind the difference between healing magic and biomantic repair in that bit - healing accelerates the natural restoration of the flesh (wouldn't work for him) whereas biomantic repair simply mends the tissue - there's no reason it shouldn't work on him unless he's actively resistant to it.
I love the concept - it's so Pulpy it arouses me - but it needs some adjustment to fit 27's style and history.
Also, as much as I'd like to have freedom to be unaffiliated, I'm increasingly finding 27's playstyle demands allegiance to one of the four factions. :<
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Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 3:36 pm
Alright, I've edited it a bit more. Maybe we've made it?
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 10:35 pm
Alright. I'm pleased to meet everyone. The name's John. While in truth, I'm a tad young, let me try my hand at this RP. I'm more than positive I've got the right mind for it... So... Letsee...
Gaia Name: Megagamer_64
Character Name:
Blake Renalds (( damn. So tempted to go yet again with my old character Myras.))
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Specie: l'm gonna just go with human. It's simple and easily malleable.
Skills: A sketch artist, Blake is adept in various types of magic, and uses them in everyday life.
Physical Description: (( I'm working on a picture as I write. This'll be interesting...)) Blake has always been a moderately tall kid, though isn't very fit. He uses magic to take care if most of his daily chores, leaving his only excessive as walking between places. However, he lived once in New York City, where he had to do much walking. Hence, he's fast. His stamina's gone down ever since, though.
To best say it, Blake is tone, but not very fit.
Personality:
What kind of person is your character? Blake is the type of person who stars in a cyoa game. Thats where i first created him, after all. Blake is a bit of a quiet guy, at first. He doesnt trust people that easily, though he's ever taken a few leaps of faith. Blake doesnt like it when people brag, but ever will if his ego is stoked high enough.
What is their moral system? Blake is on a neutral good setting, essentially. He's there for the ride, and doesn't really have a hidden agenda. Once he believes in one thing, he's set on it, so, if he believed in the wrong thing, he'd still be set towards it when he found out.
Biography: (The Story So Far. What’s happened in your character’s life to make them who they are now? This should explain any skills that haven't been explained thus far) Blake Renalds was once a normal, human being. Extremely boring, your average New York native. However, out of the blue, he slowly developed magical prowess, though at first completely unawares. He had cone in contact with a human made, and slowly developed those powers because of it. He still has no clues who this said mage is.
Blake, after some time, began to live his life entirely with magic. He held things in midair, rather than carry them. He heated a bath through flames, or jumped between buildings, after he got skilled enough. One day, he had wandered down the wrong alley in Manhattan, and was attacked by thugs. By accident, he began fighting them off using magic, melting rubbish at their feet, and stopping them in their tracts. The end results scared him, and he decided it would be best to leave a heavily populated place such as New York.
Alliance: (If you are allied with one of the major groups, place your choice here.) none as of yet.
Group Membership: (If you're a member of Ithaca Group, the Psion Union, or one of the other major groups, you must FIRST have the proper Alliance, and SECOND list it here. No big deal.) he's oblivious to what's currently going on.
Supernatural Abilities: (This is where we figure out how to make a character who isn't overpowered but can survive in a fight.) he has basic control of Magic. Though he's tried many different subtypes, he's still best with simple element based magic and telekinetics. He's a very malleable slate, as the name Blake would suggest.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 10:44 pm
You've got the right idea here, and I like the enthusiasm. But I think you've missed a few key points.
First, it's not really probable that your character would have no idea what's going on. The entire world revolves around this war, and the factions fighting in it. Your character, especially one that lived in New York, would know quite a bit about it.
That's the main one, anyway. I'll let the GM get into the details.
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