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 Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 10:54 am
well loneliness is merely a feeling and what one tends to experience
It seemed to me that Janna might be pretty lonely right now and David knows it himself. Basically, the loneliness is coming and going through the days of our lives.... I wonder if it will ever truly be over at one point... I'm sorry I'm putting such a drag on you guys right now... I'm not myself at this point... It keeps pulling me back...
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Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:10 pm
*poke*
*pokepokepoke*
Sorry, MD, I'm only sympathetic when I'm depressed. biggrin Cheer the ******** up.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:39 pm
"All the lonely people, where do they all come from?" -- The Beatles.
*/end nagging, back-of-brain reference*
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:04 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:58 pm
David stands across the street from Janna’s apartment building, wondering why he is there.
Why? Why? What is there to gain? Did she even say that she wanted to see him again? Is he even going to try and ask? Why come if he doesn’t have the balls to even go upstairs?
Her living room window faces the street…he wonders if she can see him…if he can see her….
God knows what she’s doing in there, his mind tells him, if you go up, you might not like what you see. Go back home. Go save your money and buy yourself a piano.
But he doesn’t. Instead, he drifts down the street, crosses over, and walks back to the apartment complex, pain in his head and a longing in his heart. However, before he can get close to the building, he is stopped by a small someone running into him and hugging him.
“Mr. David!” Nina cries, looking up at him, her eyes and cheeks awash with tears. “Mr. David, please come help my mama!”
He picks her up and brings her quickly into the complex’s lobby. “What happened?” he asks urgently, feeling his breathing kick up a notch.
“She’s been acting weird,” Nina explains tearfully, clinging to his waist and neck. “She was crying, she locked herself in the bathroom and she won’t let me in--”
David takes the stairs at a run and bursts into the apartment, Nina’s sobs filling the empty room. “Janna!” he calls, looking around; the room is a mess, the couch cushions thrown everywhere and the furniture knocked over. He glances into the bedroom and sees, to his alarm, that the sheets had been ripped up and torn apart; the floor is littered with promiscuous clothing and condoms.
The bathroom door is closed. He sits Nina gently down on the floor, gives her a brief hug, and runs over to it. He can hear crying inside; he knocks hard on the door, calling, “Janna! Janna, what’s the matter?”
She doesn’t answer; her sobs increase in intensity, then are interrupted by a pained scream. <******** hell,” David mutters under his breath. “Nina,” he adds, “can you please find me a screwdriver?”
She nods, her eyes wide and frightened, and runs to the kitchen, rummaging desperately through their drawers. “I can’t find one!” she finally calls, sounding panicked.
“What about a hairpin? Or a metal hanger?” he calls back.
Nina jumps up and runs to the bedroom, searching frantically; a minute later she comes back with a long brass hairpin. “Perfect!” David tells her, seizing it and beginning to pick the lock.
Janna screams again, out of what sounds like pure misery. David grits his teeth as he twists the pin; the lock clicks, and the doorknob turns. “Stay outside, Nina,” he orders, slipping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
The curtains around the bathtub are drawn; the sobbing comes from within their circle of protection. “Janna?” David calls, reaching for the break in the cloth and pulling the curtains away.
“Janna!”
She buries her head in her knees and sobs harder than ever, yelling something that he can’t understand. She is sitting in her bathtub, curled up, naked, hugging her knees and holding a damp washcloth; a bottle of something that looks like floor cleaner is beside her, emptying itself slowly down the drain. There are weird red blotches on her skin, especially on her thighs and fingers.
“Janna!” he shouts again, kneeling by the bathtub and grasping her shoulders. He shakes her; she doesn’t move. “Janna, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not doing it anymore!” she screams, so loudly the sound echoes off the walls and hurts his ears. He winces. “I won’t, I won’t, just leave me alone, I don’t want to be a whore--”
“Janna, no one’s going to make you do anything, calm down--” She lets out an agonized wail, clenching her fists in frustration, and struggles to tear her shoulders out of his grip. “--Janna, it’s me, David, you know me, I’m not going to hurt you--”
“I’m sorry!” she sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can’t marry you, I can’t, I don’t deserve…I’m just a….” She is sobbing too hard to speak; she loses all control and thrashes all her limbs, throwing the rag onto the floor and kicking the bottle of cleaner, sending it spinning across the bottom of the tub. “I WANT TO DIE!” she shrieks, grabbing her hair and letting out a wordless scream. “I WANT TO DIE, I WANT TO DIE--!”
“Janna, calm down!” David shouts, panicking; he lunges for her and hugs her close, pinning her arms down, protecting her from herself. “Stop it, what are you THINKING--?”
She sobs hysterically, burying her face in his shirt; he hugs her as tightly as he can, finding that he is crying as well, feeling as though he is watching, helpless, as everything he loves is being dragged away from him.
“Don’t DO this, Janna,” he begs her, his tears sliding into her hair. “PLEASE--”
He freezes. She smells like bleach--and his fingers are burning. He looks, and the insides of them are a bright, angry red; wherever his bare skin touched her, it reacts. The skin beneath his hands is welted and blood-colored.
He sucks in a breath, grabbing almost instinctively for the bottle beside Janna. “s**t,” he hisses under his breath, “holy s**t…Janna, this is ACIDIC! What the hell were you DOING?!”
“It won’t come off, David,” she sobs, her voice muffled by the thick cloth of his shirt. “It won’t come off….”
“What, your SKIN?” he yelps, panicking now; he looks from her hands to the bleach to the rag on the floor to the welts all over her body. “Janna, you idiot,” he howls, clutching her to him, despairing at the thought of what could have happened--what kind of mangled corpse he could be holding now. “What the ******** were you THINKING? You could have died…. What would have happened to Nina? What would I…? Why did you…?”
David has the sudden, horrible feeling that somehow, this is all his fault; a huge sob paralyzes him, but then he gets a hold on himself. Now is not the time to break down; he has to be strong.
“You have to go to the hospital,” he tells her as firmly as he can. “NOW--”
“NO!” she screeches, suddenly fighting him with all she’s got, bursting into terrified sobs. “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!”
“It’s okay, it’s okay!” he tries to shout over her. “You don’t have to, it’s okay, calm down--”
He catches her again and holds her close; she goes limp, wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing helplessly.
“Make it stop, David,” she begs him, “make it stop, make it stop….”
“It’ll be okay,” he assures her, lifting her carefully out of the bathtub. “You’ll be all right. Just calm down….”
He sits her on the floor, where she immediately curls up and starts to cry in her arms; then he soaks a towel in semi-hot water before pulling the drain and raising the water temperature to as high as it will go. As the poison burns and leaves the ceramic tub, filling the bathroom with the reek of bleach, he gently cleans Janna all over with the towel--she winces and occasionally cries out in pain, but doesn’t fight him anymore.
When she is cleaned off, he scrubs his hands thoroughly in the sink, then takes her face in his hands. She looks at him with a watery, petrified gaze. “Janna,” he says slowly, calmly, “Do you have any medicine around here?”
She thinks about it for a moment, then murmurs, “Just…just band-aids….”
“Okay,” he sighs, thinking. “Okay. Janna. I need you to calm down and rest while I go to the pharmacy. Can you do that?”
“You’re leaving?” she says in total disbelief, her eyes widening in panic.
“I’m coming back, I’ll be back in ten minutes,” he soothes her, “and Nina will be here, you’ll be okay--”
He hugs her; she cries helplessly into his shirt; she doesn’t say anything, she just lets him wrap her in a fresh towel and carry her out of the bathroom.
Nina is waiting, wide-eyed, outside; David gives her a look that he hope reassures her as he brings Janna to the couch and covers her with the blanket. She buries her head in the cushions and finishes her somewhat diminished sobbing in the muffled half-silence of the couch.
Nina lets out a frightened sob; David runs over to her and scoops her up, hugging her tightly. “Nina, honey,” he tells her, “it’s going to be okay now, but I need you to help me out--stay here and watch your mother for me, okay?”
She still looks scared, but she nods and murmurs, “Okay….”
“All you have to do is stay close by and keep an eye on her,” he explains, bringing her over to the couch. “And make sure she doesn’t move from the couch, okay? Not at all, no matter what she says. Can you do that?”
She nods again, climbing onto the couch and hugging her mother’s legs. Janna twitches a bit, but says nothing, just keeps crying.
David kneels by Janna’s side and gently turns her face toward him. “Janna,” he says, having established eye contact, “Nina is here, she’s going to watch over you, just calm down and stay here, okay? Don’t do anything stupid. Just wait, I’ll be right back.”
She nods, just a little, but clings to his hand. He gently detaches himself, turning to Nina again.
“If anything happens, run downstairs and get help, okay, Nina?”
She nods. He gives her a small hug before saying, “Be right back,” and walking quickly to the door. Once he is outside, he runs.
The nearest pharmacy is about three blocks away. David runs in, catches his breath, then locates the man behind the counter.
“Hi,” he says politely, “can you please tell me how to treat acid burns?” He shows her his reddening fingers. “It was some kind of floor cleaner, about ten minutes ago. Is there some kind of medicine for it?”
“Yeah,” he nods, giving the burns a scrutinizing, slightly queasy look. “Hold on just a second.”
He disappears, then returns with a tube of cream. “This should do it,” he says. “You just rub it on and let it sit for a little while, it neutralizes the acid. You’re also going to want to keep the area clean--just ordinary hydrogen peroxide and soap and water can do that. Neosporin works pretty well too. Just that kind of thing.”
“All right then,” David sighs, relieved. “Where can I find hydrogen peroxide?”
The man disappears again and returns with a brown bottle. “Is this all you need?”
“I think that’s it, thank you.”
David pays, thanks the man again, and runs back out of the store with the medicine swinging at his side. He reaches the complex and runs up, bursting back into the apartment.
Nina screams, then sees its him and runs up to him. He hugs her for a minute, then moves on to Janna, kissing her softly on the cheek before lifting her into a sitting position.
“Nina,” he says, “Do me a favor, please, and go into the bathroom and find your mother some clothes. Set them on the counter and wait in the kitchen, okay?”
“Okay,” she says in a trembling voice, and runs off to do what he says. The entire apartment smells like bleach now; David realizes he has forgotten to turn off the water in the bathtub, but he can hear nothing now. Nina must have done it for him…clever of her….
He helps Janna up and looks into her eyes; she’s calmed down now, though she looks a bit scared at everything moving so quickly around her. “Janna? Are you okay now?” he asks her.
She nods slowly, lost for words.
“Good.” He kisses her forehead, hugs her briefly, then strips the towel and blanket away. She winces slightly, but stays still as he rubs the cream onto her skin, taking no chances--he puts it everywhere he can find. Janna hangs her head as she holds out her arms, looking ashamed and sad; David chooses to say nothing, realizing that neither scolding her or comforting her would have any positive affect on her at this point. She is back to herself; she is emotionally stable, her former composed self.
He finishes, half the tube gone now, and rubs a bit of the cream on his fingers, feeling his skin instantly begin to heal. “Is that better, Janna?” he asks her, keeping his voice light and quiet, as if nothing unusual had happened, really.
She nods, keeping her eyes away; she shifts her body as if she would like nothing better than to hide her naked self from him. He politely turns his head away, waiting for five minutes (as the label had specified) to pass.
When it does, he goes to the bathroom, holding his breath, and wets a rag; then he washes his fingers off and, upon returning to Janna, does the same for her. She stays very still, continuing to avoid his gaze. Then he gathers her clothes from the counter, throws a comforting smile at Nina, and watches with clinical interest as she dresses herself. Once clothed, she crosses her ankles, slides her palms between her knees, and sits passively on the edge of the couch, staring at the carpet.
“Do you still hurt anywhere?” David asks her.
She shakes her head. “No. I’m fine.”
He nods. “That’s good,” he sighs. “You had me worri--”
He cuts off as her lips suddenly press against his; she kisses him hard, with as much passion as ever before, almost throwing herself at him as she coaxes a fevered response out of his mouth.
“I meant everything I said,” she sighs, leaning away to breathe.
“What in particular?” he whispers, leaning in to kiss her again.
She resists him. Bites her lip and looks away. “David, I…I’m not good enough for you.” An odd, tortured edge enters her voice, like she’s swallowing a sob, or a scream. “I’m…you deserve…much, much better--”
“There is no better, Janna,” he tells her quietly.
“Don’t,” she murmurs, closing her eyes hard and taking a deep breath. “You know what I--”
“Janna,” he says firmly, taking her face in his hands and pressing their foreheads together. “There is no better. I know you, I know who and what you are. And I love you.” He kisses her softly, just once. “And if you could just push everything aside, and stop thinking of yourself like that, and just think about what you really want….”
Her breathing hitches a bit; he bends his head, his lips hovering by her neck, and pulls her close.
“Janna, everything else we can work out,” he tells her. “But tell me--please…. Do you want to marry me?”
Her arms slide around his neck, pulling him close; her lips graze against his cheek, rest beside his ear. Her breaths are trembling; her entire body is tensed, shaking, as she whispers in his ear a single word.
“Yes.” She laughs, savoring the word in her mouth. “Yes, David, yes, I really do…YES!”
~~~
After a hectic and joyful hour of dancing and twirling and laughing around the living room, the bleach fumes start to make them dizzy, and David decides that it’s time for some fresh air. Nina, who has no idea what is going on, is ecstatic anyway, now that her mother is okay; Janna is delirious, but has an odd look on her face before she leaves the apartment, which is only explained when she asks David very politely if she can burn the place down with her 10-cent lighter.
David feels that another solution would be best, so he helps Nina and Janna pack an overnight bag and invites them to spend the night at his apartment about ten blocks away. They cheerfully agree; Nina skips outside, pulling them impatiently along, as Janna kisses David and promises, in a voice that makes all his nerves come alive, that she’ll repay him later that night.
They walk to the park and deposit their things beneath a bench, where David and Janna sit as Nina attacks the swings with endless gusto.
“After tomorrow,” David says to Janna, “if we work all day, then you never have to go back to that place again.”
Janna gives the ground a flat, mirthless smile. “Good,” she says viciously. “I hate that place. Are you SURE I can’t burn it?”
“Well, I’m not saying it’s not best,” David assures her. “But wouldn’t it be more sensible if you just leave the place and sell your things? At least then you can make some money, instead of having to buy the building back.”
Janna sighs and nods, glaring with the disgruntled look of a movie villain whose plans have gone awry.
“And I’ll make you a deal,” David adds, seeing this, “once we move everything out and sell the furniture, I’ll buy the bed from the landlord and get you some oil, and you can do whatever you want to it.”
Janna grins. “Lover boy,” she tells him, “you are the best.”
He kisses her, feeling happier than he has in days. “Everything’s going to be fine now,” he whispers, feeling her lips smile against his. “You two can live with me…you don’t have to work at all, if you don’t want to…and we’ll save up and move to somewhere far away…and…. Did you bring your medicine?”
“Yup,” she says cheerfully.
He grins. “Then that’s it. Once you’re healthy, everything will be perfect….”
“Almost perfect,” she says musingly. “But pretty close….”
“What’s missing?”
“Oh, nothing,” she says quickly, beaming at him. “Just thinking. And you know…it can’t always be perfect. There will always be something.”
“Well, we can manage,” he promises, pulling her closer, feeling an ecstatic thrill as he realizes that this closeness, this joy, is his forever. “Anything after this should be easy….”
“No kidding,” Janna laughs, and kisses him hard, making further conversation impossible.
After several glorious minutes, however, Janna pulls away. “Excuse me a minute, lover boy,” she teases. “You mind?”
Curious, he watches her get up and venture into the wild zones of the playground, where Nina is dangling from the monkey bars, making faces at them as they kiss. Janna stands beneath her and holds out her arms, and Nina jumps down into them. They sojourn to a lonely bench nearby; Janna sits Nina down, and they have a talk. David, if he tries very hard, can hear them; and anyway, he has a good idea of what they’re saying, knowing Janna.
“Nina,” Janna asks her daughter seriously, holding both her hands in hers, “I need you to tell me something, okay?”
“Okay,” Nina agrees, very serious now.
Janna smiles and reaches for her, holding her in her lap and swaying back and forth. “Nina, baby,” she asks quietly, “would you like it if…if Mr. David became your daddy?”
Nina blinks in surprise, her eyes wide and curious. “My daddy?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” Janna replies. “We’d be a family…we’d live with David and do everything together, he’d love you like I do…would you like that, Nina?”
Nina still looks shocked; she continues to blink at her mother for a moment, then her eyes narrow in concentration. She thinks. Janna waits, biting her lip.
“Mama?” she finally asks. “What if I said no?”
Janna laughs and heaves an exasperated sigh. “Nina…” she begins to say, then stops, realizing that she is serious. Janna ponders her answer. “I guess,” she says eventually, “that we’d have to stay with him in his house for a little while…but then we’d find a new place to live, by ourselves. David can still come around if you want, but he won’t be your daddy. Is that what you want, baby?” She is nervous, trying to prepare herself for a letdown; she needs her daughter’s approval.
Nina thinks about it for a heartbeat and a half; then the concentration is replaced by as acute a nervousness as that of her mother. “But Mama,” she says uncertainly, “I’ve never had a daddy before….”
“No,” Janna says slowly, “you haven’t. But it’s not something to be scared of, Nina. You like Mr. David, don’t you?”
She nods, thinking. “But…what do daddies…DO?”
Janna gives her a small smile and a hug. “I’m not really sure, Nina,” she says honestly. “But Mr. David does. I think…they’re supposed to be nice to you…and help you…and make you feel good about everything….”
She frowns, lost in thought. Nina shares her expression; then she hugs her mother and looks up at her.
“I like Mr. David,” she says firmly, grinning. “I want him to be my daddy.”
Janna beams, almost glowing with relief. “Then he will,” she promises, both of them rising to their feet. She pushes Nina toward David with a smile that is almost sad, in a way, but still very happy all the same. “Now, go play with him,” she says, and Nina is off like an arrow from a bow. She runs up to David and tackles his shins, giggling as she pulls him up.
“Mr. David, Mr. David!” she says excitedly. “Mama says you’re gonna be my daddy, are you? Are you?”
David laughs. “Of course,” he says, letting Nina drag him to the playground.
Nina starts firing questions at him: what do daddies do? Why? How come she never had one before? He answers them as best as he can as she plays with him in ways that she says she can’t do with her mother; he lifts her high over his head and lets her ride on his shoulders, playing tag and hide-and-seek with her in the molded plastic and sand of the playground, catching her as she leaps from frightening heights…all as her mother, and his fiancée, watch them from the bench--and if David isn’t seeing things, he would swear that she is crying.
~~~
The three walk home together that night, hand-in-hand, laughing as they talk about their plans for the rest of the evening. David knows he has a bag of popcorn, somewhere; he stops at a store to buy a few other food items, as his apartment is not well equipped for company. He isn’t exactly sure, now that he thinks about it, when the last time he owned edible, perishable food was.
“I’ll still have to go to work,” he tells Janna. “It wouldn’t really be fair of me to give my boss such short notice. Would you like to come?”
“I’d love to,” she says, smiling.
“Can I go too?” Nina says eagerly.
“No,” Janna says at once. “You’re too young to go to a bar, sweetie. Besides, it’ll be past your bedtime.”
Nina complains, but then accepts it; they let her chatter on about endless, exhausting plans for the night until they arrive.
David lives in an apartment building with a little more class than Janna’s; the ceiling is high, the walls are painted in light, airy colors, and there are plenty of windows and few furnishings, so the whole place has a roomy and cheerful feel to it. The place came with sparse furnishings, such as a bed, a couch, a table; David added another chair, a rug, a dresser, and some appliances, but other than that left it be. It has four rooms, none of which are large in and of themselves; however, the entire thing is at least twice as large as Janna’s apartment, and five and a half times nicer.
Janna whistles as she walks in. “Plush,” she compliments him. “Good call. If it didn’t cost an arm and a leg I would have moved in years ago.”
“It’s not too expensive,” David says reasonably. “you put down maybe a hundred a month, then pay your bills yourself, and as long as you aren’t too disruptive….”
Nina looks amazed; she throws herself on the couch, looking around with huge and delighted eyes. Janna looks around as well; once her own surprise melts away, she snorts.
“Typical,” she laughs.
“What?” David demands.
“This really is a bachelor pad,” she giggles, seating herself beside Nina. “I don’t ever have to worry that there’s another woman living here…good Lord.”
“What’s wrong with it?” He scowls as he looks around, finding nothing amiss.
“Well, for one, the carpet, the walls, and the couch don’t match,” she smirks. “And for another, the coffee table can’t be made of a different wood than the shelves, and the curtains are horrid, and there’s dust everywhere…when’s the last time you mopped?”
“I don’t own a mop,” he mutters, glaring at his living room. “What’s the problem? It works okay, doesn’t it?”
She laughs. “Aw, lover boy,” she sighs. “You are hilarious. So you put a rug in to improve the acoustics, but you don’t even know how to match?”
“Do I look like a woman? Look, I keep it neat, I sweep, I wash the rug--what more do you want?”
Janna laughs at him again. “You’re funny,” she giggles, standing and walking to the doorway. “Let’s see the…oh dear.”
“What NOW?”
Janna looks around his kitchen, which is furnished in a similar way, and laughs again. “Interesting,” she says. “I like it. You’re right, it functions…and it‘s kind of cute.”
David rolls his eyes. “Thanks,” he says sarcastically. “I feel so manly now. Anybody want some cookies?”
~~~
Nina falls asleep within an hour, despite copious amounts of sugar; they tuck her in on the couch, together, then journey to David’s bar. He plays his regular music, whatever the crowd suggests, as Janna watches with a smile; the boys congratulate them both when they hear about the engagement, raising a toast and offering the two of them a flute of champagne each. David and Janna, grinning, join the fun; the few newcomers join the celebration as well, merging into the crowd and drinking heavily until everything is just blurred light and noise. David ends with an encore of Piano Man, then polishes his piano, takes his music, and walks with Janna back to his home.
That night they make love in David’s bed, and this, more than anything, makes him feel that she really is his. For so many nights he has slept alone; but now he isn’t alone anymore, and if God loves him for just a few decades longer, he never will be again.
The rest of that week is one of the best in David’s life. He at first had been apprehensive at the idea of being a father to Nina, but then he finds that it’s easy; Nina can take care of herself for the most part, only needing exactly what he had been to her before: a very tall, very strong friend. Janna and he walk her to school in the mornings, take her somewhere fun in the afternoons, get three meals a day for her, and tuck her in at night.
There are some things that only Janna can do, like helping Nina get dressed; not only is David of the opposite sex, but he also apparently has no fashion sense at all. And there are some things that only David can do; Nina chatters to him about school every day, not expecting him to offer anything but sympathy, but David, though he had hovered between average and autistic during school, is more social than Janna; he finds that he can help Nina with her problems, whether they be about bullies, friends, or homework. Janna tells him one night that Nina has never been so eager to get to school; maybe a father was what she had needed all along.
When Nina is at school, or asleep, David and Janna make love. There is nowhere to go, and nothing else to do; Janna has quit both her jobs, and with David’s help is taking one of the first vacations she’s had in a very long time. She doesn’t quite know what to do with herself; David catches her reading his books, cleaning his apartment, plugging his few CD’s into his old radio.
He joins her at this, singing along to Billy Joel and Frank Sinatra, humming the melody of the classics. Janna is impressed; she likes his music, though she says he needs more rock in his life. She pulls out her favorite CD, Cute Is What We Aim For, and plays it; it confuses him, so he just focuses on Janna singing the lyrics beside him.
“It’s not my favorite anymore, though,” she says suddenly. “There’s no point.”
David says that he is glad; she agrees, taking the CD out and tossing it aside. Then she grins and reaches into her pocket. “Guess what I found?” she smirks, waving the condom back and forth.
They spend the morning making love as Frank Sinatra plays in the background:
“Fly me to the moon,
let me play among the stars….”
After Janna’s apartment had been emptied of all her personal items and cleaned up a bit, David talks to her landlord, paying her last months’ rent and freeing her from any further payments. He sells the landlord what little furniture Janna has bought herself, buys the mattress, and takes it to an abandoned street, where Janna sets fire to it and laughs as it burns; then he arranges a small sale later in the month for both of their things, and starts to plan their move.
Janna has detached herself from everything tying her down except David himself; David, after telling his dismayed boss about their move, informing his landlord that he is leaving next month, and withdrawing all of his money from the bank, has finally done the same. They decide to do all of it with as little ceremony and turmoil as possible; they will pack light, stuff everything into a rented car, and go. David’s head spins when he thinks about it; in a matter of weeks, they’ll be free….
Finally, there is only one thing left to worry about….
~~~
Janna, pale and shivery, stares wide-eyed at the wall of the waiting room, her fingers clenched and her jaw set. Her nerves are clear; David can’t understand what she is so worried about.
“Janna, it’ll be fine,” he tells her for the hundredth time. “He said it would clear up by now, everything will be okay.”
He says this several times, but she is never convinced; finally, when there is a moment of silence between the blare of the TV and the crying of children, she murmurs, “I haven’t been feeling the same, lately…I’ve…I’ve been kind of sick….”
“What?” David asks, alarmed. “You have? Since when?”
“The past couple of days…just in the morning, though, and then it passes….”
“Maybe…maybe it’s just a bug, Janna--”
“Or another STD,” she moans, hiding her face in her hands. “Damn it, how screwed up do I have to be until--?”
“Janine?” a nurse interrupts, looking around the room from the door. Janna pales as she stands up; David grasps her hand and whispers a reassurance in her ear as they follow the nurse together.
They are seated in the standard room, with the paper-covered bed and the lumpy chair and the cluttered desk, and left alone to wait for the doctor. Janna is shivering harder now; David seats her in his lap and tries to calm her down, comforting her again and again. But she is not convinced--when the doctor arrives, she is still shaking in trepidation.
The doctor exchanges greetings with the pair of them, then asks Janna if she wants David to leave; this time, she says he should stay. She holds David’s hand as the doctor runs a few tests before examining her.
“Is Nina at school?” she whispers at one point. “We watched her walk into the door?”
“Yes,” David assures her. “She’s fine.”
“Good,” Janna sighs, and relaxes slightly; but then she tenses again as the doctor tells her to take off her jeans and underwear and lay down. She does as he says, closing her eyes and clinging to David’s hand; the doctor looks around, poking about with what look like dentist tools and a small flashlight, for what feels like forever until he finally straightens up.
“So is everything okay now?” David asks him urgently, speaking for both of them.
The doctor waits until Janna is dressed again and David’s arms are wrapped safely around her. Then he smiles.
“Yes, everything is okay,” he tells them. “For the most part, you’re perfectly healthy; it’s all just about cleared up now. Your body can heal the rest by itself. There’s no trace of anything else, either; you’re perfectly fine, Miss Janine. Congratulations.”
Janna breathes a sigh of relief; David hugs her, feeling suddenly dizzy and delirious. “Thank God,” he breathes, kissing Janna’s hair; she lifts her head and meets his lips, completely ignoring the doctor as she kisses him hard.
The doctor laughs. “So that should be it,” he tells them. “If you’re sexually active I suggest another checkup in about six months, but until then, have fun.” He chuckles. “Safe fun,” he adds. “The lady at the front desk has your bill.”
“Thank you,” both of them say, still overwhelmed with relief. This was their last hurdle, and now it’s behind them; there’s nothing but clear skies and good tidings ahead.
“You’re welcome,” the doctor says, opening the door for them as they make to leave. “Oh, and by the way, Miss Janine,” he adds as they pass him, “you’re pregnant.”
~~~
EPILOGUE:
121 Paisley Street, Whiting, Wisconsin
“So Bye Bye Miss American Pie,
Drove my Chevy to the Levy but the Levy was dry
And good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singing “This’ll be the day that I die….”
“Daddy!”
“Hey, Nina!” David calls, snatching Nina up as she runs to him and hugs him tightly. “How was school?”
“I got an A on my math test!” she babbles excitedly. “And it was really really hard, I thought I’d fail for sure, fractions are so hard--”
David doesn’t recall fourth grade math being quite so difficult, but he plays along, congratulating her on her achievement. He is just fixing her a bowl of ice cream in the kitchen when Janna walks in, smiling, the baby curled up against her shoulder.
“Thanks for saying hi,” she smirks. “I feel so special.”
He immediately goes over and hugs her, kissing first her, then the baby. “Sorry,” he grins. “Nina aced her math test, did she tell you?”
“Yes she did,” Janna says proudly. “And Johnny apparently loves shiny things now, he tried to eat my earrings.”
“Maybe we should start giving him baby food now,” David muses. “What do you think?”
“He’s old enough,” Janna agrees. Then she smiles. “In a good mood today? Or just felt like bursting into song?”
“Just glad to be home,” he tells her, kissing her again; their lips linger together for a moment longer than usual. “Want some ice cream?”
“No, I really…oh, why not?” she laughs. “Sure, thanks, lover boy.”
He fixes her and himself a bowl, asking about her day; she tells him about the earring escapade as Johnny naps innocently in David’s arms. David loves holding him, seeing the resemblances--his soft, pale hair, Janna’s nose, his lips, Janna’s eyes.
“So how was YOUR day?” Janna asks him.
He grins. “I got a new pupil today. He shows a lot of promise.”
“Really?” Janna smiles. “That’s great! We could use the cash.”
“Yep, he has a lesson a week,” David informs her. “And he’s really good. He’s, what, eight? And he’s been taking from another teacher, learning notes and things, so that won’t be an issue…he sounds really good,” David adds musingly. “The church has good acoustics….”
And so does our living room, he thinks, but he doesn’t say it. They can’t afford a piano, now or ever.
Janna knows what he’s thinking about. She comes over to him and takes the baby, sliding her arm around his waist as he rinses off the ice cream bowls. “Hey, lover boy,” she says softly, “I’m really sorry about the piano….”
“It’s fine,” David assures her. “It wouldn’t fit.”
But all the same, he feels his heart tug at the thought of the last day he played at the bar…playing all the old favorites, singing along…everyone begging him to stay, the manager offering him the piano for a steal, knowing he couldn’t fit it in their rented truck without smashing it to pieces, being forced to leave it behind….
All those people begging him to stay…he had made some real friends there, without even knowing it…and his piano….
“Hey, lover boy,” Janna whispers, smiling suddenly as she leans in closer. “I wanted to show you something in the garage…. What do you say?”
David laughs and thinks about it; sex would cheer him up, he thinks. “Sure,” he agrees, “let me just put the baby down--”
“No, I’ll carry him,” she offers, to his surprise, “come on. Nina, let’s go show Daddy the surprise we got for him,” she says, and Nina immediately jumps up and skips ahead of them, running outside and waiting for David to open the garage door.
He pushes it upward, curious; it was a good place to hide something, as everything was a mess in here right now, but what in the world…?
Nina runs to a mass of sheets, one of many, and squeals, “Can I now, Mama, can I, can I?”
“Let him do it,” Janna says, smiling broadly as David cautiously approaches the lump. “Come on, lover boy,” she urges him, “it’s under there, take a look.”
David looks around in confusion as Janna, Nina, and even Johnny watch him with eager and waiting eyes; excitement builds in his chest, as well as a sudden determination, and with a swift, decisive movement, he grabs a handful of what feels like three heavy sheets and pulls.
He freezes, and stares, lost for words.
“We wanted to wait until your birthday,” Janna tells him, smiling, “but I figured you’d get rusty before then….”
“Do you like it, Daddy?” Nina demands, grabbing his hand and watching his face for a reaction other than shock.
The old, stained piano from the bar is sitting in his garage; it looks the same as ever, if a bit dustier than before, and seems to call him to sit and play, just like he had before.
David walks around the piano, sitting on the bench with a small creak; he runs his fingers over the keys, looking it all over before he dares to sound a note.
“You guys…are….” He swallows; he is not used to getting so emotional. “How in the world did you…?”
“I called the bar manager,” Janna explains. “He knows a guy. I had some money saved up…I bought the piano, paid for the trailer, paid the driver…and here it is.”
He keeps running his fingers over it, astounded, soaking it in like a warm drink for his soul. A piano…his old piano….
“It needs polishing,” he finally says, “and probably needs to be tuned…and I’ll have to check the--”
“Just play us a song,” Janna laughs, sliding onto the bench beside him. Johnny, who had been chewing on her wedding ring, turns his curious eyes to the piano keys and pokes hesitantly at one. A high E flat echoes in the air around them.
“Nice acoustics,” David comments, grinning, and he starts to play.
“It’s five o’clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin….”
Nina climbs into her mother’s lap, joining into the chorus she knows so well. David plays; his garage is full to bursting with sound; all around the small, quiet neighborhood, people walk outside to hear the sounds coming from house number 121.
“He says, Son, can you play me a melody?
I’m not really sure how it goes
But it’s sad and it’s sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man’s clothes….”
With his wife beside him, his children around him, his new world outside…with so much music building up…there was no place that he’d rather be.
“Sing us a song, you’re the Piano Man
Sing us a song tonight
Yeah we’re all in the mood for a melody
And you’ve got us feeling all right….
Oh la da-da dadada…
la da dadada…da….”
Fin.
And then Iran and North Korea blew up the US and they all died. The end.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:14 pm
I'm guessing someone... raped her again? or was just her way of throwing herself into denial of thinking that she was not good enough for David. But regardless of all that has happened, she finally sees the true inner desire she has been holding inward. I'm glad it turned out that way.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:17 pm
You know Kirbs, this is getting progressively more and more drawn out, I think it's time to end it soon.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:22 pm
Here's an old trick: If you've come into contact with some acid, just stick the affected area in some vegetable oil. Works in a pinch. I'd know.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:24 pm
Voxxx Here's an old trick: If you've come into contact with some acid, just stick the affected area in some vegetable oil. Works in a pinch. I'd know. Vinegar helps too. What type of Acid get ya'?
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:38 pm
Some sort of chemical etching compound with an (nitric?) acid base. I was going to use it to etch a copper plate, but sort of etched my leg instead. You a fellow victim?
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:46 pm
Of a sort.
I was cleaning the contacts of a car battery when it leaked all over my hands.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:57 pm
That's no fun. I hate it when it's something you have to use. I mean, it's all fine and well to maim something like the tops of your thighs, because those stay somewhat stationary. But hands move. And if they're burned hands, they sting when they move.
Vinegar is also great to wash hair in. Makes it all shiny.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:20 pm
Bah, I was fine.
No scars or nuthin'
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:49 am
Zahmen You know Kirbs, this is getting progressively more and more drawn out, I think it's time to end it soon. I feel ya. It's ending like....now. Seriously.
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:02 am
FINISHED.
There shall be an epilogue.
But FINISHED.
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