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 Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 7:58 pm
Nudge seven hundred and eighteen
72. Instead of going to the trouble and risk of stealing a 200 MT nuclear device and ransoming a city for the billions of dollars I'll need for my Ultimate Diabolical Plan, I'll simply open a evangelical teleministry. That way I also get a bonus Fanatic Legion that will obey my every command, should I ever need such a thing.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:00 pm
Nudge seven hundred and nineteen
73. If I come into possession of, or manage to assemble the Ultimate Weapon, I will immediately use it at full power in direct pursuit of my goal of world domination. No warning shots across the bow, No "This is only a fraction of my weapon's potential!" grandstanding.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:03 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty
74. I will also refrain from using the Ultimate Weapon for simply offing the Hero. If it's really the UW, the Hero's efforts will come to naught anyway.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:05 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-one
75. No Ultimate Incantation that requires sacrifice of a Virgin is worth the trouble of a) securing such a rarity and b) relying on a quality so easily cured by an amorous Hero or Heroine in a few minutes' stolen time.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:07 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-two
76. If my superweapon can be controlled by computers or other electronic/electrical means, then there is no need for there to be only one set of controls right next to the main power source. A fake set, directly connected to a multi-amp circuit, will occupy this location.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:11 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-three
77. While it may be tempting to use an Ultimate Weapon or Spell with a rare, almost impossible to exploit, Tiny Flaw to accomplish my goals, if many Penultimate Weapons or Spells with no such flaw can achieve the same effect, I will employ them instead.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:14 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-four
78. I will not use area-effect, mind-altering spells as a long-term solution to civil unrest, because (a.) They wear off, or the subjects gain or breed immunity, and the population I made to love me will inevitably hate me; and (b.) Outsiders not susceptible to the initial spell will quickly become suspicious, and try to Do Something about my subjects' mindless happiness.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:16 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-five
Miscellaneous Evil Resolutions
79. My planned assault on the rebel base will take place after my assault on the rebel base.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:19 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-six
80. If my objective is world domination, I will not be tempted by tantalizing opportunities for absolute power, which invariably backfire. If my objective is absolute power, I will consider settling for world domination.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:21 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-seven
81. I will never enter into an alliance if I am not sure I can betray it if necessary. I will always assume my new allies observe this same condition.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:23 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-eight
82. When it is time to unite all the diverse underworld organizations into a single cohesive crime syndicate, the meeting with all my fellow under-bosses will not feature the elimination of the vociferous objectors and intimidation of the rest. It will feature the deputization of the most powerful that I can control easily and the elimination of the rest.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:25 pm
Nudge seven hundred and twenty-nine
83. If I can't execute the Hero immediately, I can take the time to completely -- and I mean no finger, toe, or tongue wiggling -- immobilize him. A couple of rolls of Saran-Wrap plus some judicious cordage will do fine.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:28 pm
Nudge seven hundred and thirty
84. One of my close advisers will be a prolific hack novelist. If my plan matches or mimics any of his plots, it will be summarily rejected.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:31 pm
Nudge seven hundred and thirty-one
85. I've murdered tens of thousands in cold blood. If I can't ice the sad-eyed puppy too, I don't deserve the job.
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:34 pm
Nudge seven hundred and thirty-two
86. If I must fight hand to hand, no matter how I outclass my opponent in skill and finesse, I will fight dirty and get the job done as quickly as possible.
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