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 Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:43 am
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Sammirah i've made a cute yellow and grey and orange hallowe'en avi, but i'm not quite ready to take this one off yet. edit; i did get sick of the red and black, so here's the yellow one.
gaia_nitemareleft
Oh yes, I love it! (the red was really great too xp ) I like the way you make your avis. 3nodding I've made few times some bright colored avis my self and like humble said, it's good to browse around before buying. There are good items, but they might not be most obvious because the amount of yellow or orange items is so much smaller.
Yeah, you have a good point there Cam. There's a difference with being straight forward and tactful. Here in Finland everyone are usually straight forward, though we of course have similar social situations where people try to politely go around the issue. If you ask for a straight answer to your question, you will most likely get a honestly straight forward one, but people still try to be diplomatic up to a certain level in certain social situations. (yeah, those "I call you" situations happens in here too).
There's lots of great conversations going on in here right now but I think I'll have to go now. Too much stuff going around in my head. I've had few super busy weeks so far and my head is just buzzing. It feels like my brains are trying to escape from my head through my ear. stressed
gaia_angelright |
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 9:54 am
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Camwen humble_gypsy_traveller Okay, I will have to back down on my opinion...some guys are bad for that too. Personally, I find myself being polite and indirect to mostly those I don't know well. Except when they're being horrendously rude I would tell them where to go no matter if I've just met them or not...that's just the way I am. Does it make me bad to tell it like it is most of the time? I would say no...but then again, some people would see me as rude...oh well. You don't seem rude at all. I don't know.. maybe you come across differently online than face to face but honestly you strike me as someone who is kind and tolerant and opinionated in a good way. If someone is being horrendously rude to you then of course it's natural to react to that in a um... "direct" way. lol Here's how I see it (you probably notice I'm quite opinionated myself lol ): If someone's need to "say it like it is" completely overrides what's appropriate for the situation then there is a problem. For example, if you are at someone's wedding and you think the bride's father is a big jerk. Are you going to tell him that to his face in front of everyone? Or will you bite your tongue so the couple can have their nice day. There's a difference between being honest when someone asks for your opinion and just blurting out things that might be hurtful for no reason. This applies to people who are able to understand social norms of course. Someone with certain types of autism or other mental/emotional issues might struggle more with what is appropriate or not appropriate in a given social setting.
Again, I feel I should explain myself...I tend to back out of heated situations if I can help it in joyous or intimate situations. Though I just can't seem to stand it when a person feels they need to belittle other people to make themselves feel better...at times that's just too much for me. I haven't had the need to tell someone where to go in the AGA because we have a group of well meaning people. I have to say that you hold a good ship. With people that have mental deficiencies...there are those that just can't help what they're going through...then there are those that use their deficiency as an excuse to be a sorry jackass...those I weed out, can't stand and tell where to go. Funny thing...after they've been put in their place...they still want to be a friend. I know, I know, they may have not been aware of what just went on...but like I said (in carefully chosen situations), I feel that I need to tell them where to go. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 10:25 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:55 pm
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humble_gypsy_traveller Sammirah Camwen Sammirah Camwen I don't find this to be true. One thing I think can seem confusing is that women (not all but more so than men) are brought up to be more accommodating. We end up being less direct if we think something would involve hurting someone's feelings. Take the example of a guy wanting to date a girl who is not interested in him. She, trying to let him down easy, might say something like "I'm just too busy right now to date anyone." The guy chooses to take this at face value and then is very surprised to see she is going out with someone else a week later. He decides women are flaky and don't know what they want - when the truth is she just wasn't in to him and was trying to be polite. But the whole "women don't know what they want" is in my opinion a false stereotype. i agree that women tend to be less direct and men more so. There's still a little bit of... a woman being direct = bitchy and a man being direct = confidant and assertive. Or at least that's the fear for some of us. But there are whole cultures where it's impolite to be direct. I think especially in the US we (in general) like to get to the point. In some Asian countries you have to circle around an issue as a rule. It's considered very rude if you skip all the social formalities. it's like that in bhutan, for sure. everyone is expected to beat around the bush if they want something or have something critical or negative to say, and i would say it applies even moreso to women. having been here for almost 2 years i just don't give a darn any more about protocol. i won't be rude, but i am very direct, and if someone gives me a useless or too vague reply, i will call them on it. I like your style sammy...I'm that way too...may it help or hurt...just get it across straight.
it's sort of a habit i picked up from a long time ago, and that is that, when communicating with someone, i need them to be really clear in their expectations of me. this usually applies to work or school situations where a teacher/boss/co-worker is giving me instructions and i want to be really sure of what i'm supposed to do. i'm a do-it-right-the-first-time kind of person.
i've also been standing up for myself a lot more since i got out of a long-term emotionally abusive relationship a couple of years ago. now, if i need something i ask for it.
in general i'd rather be a b***h who knows what's going on than a passive weak person who is also confused. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:00 pm
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Camwen Sammirah hey, i was thinking it would be cool to have a place to discuss news and current events type things. do you think it would be better to just give each topic its own thread in the main forum, or have one news thread, or have a news subforum? the only thing about the last option is that the subforums tend to see a little less traffic, so i'm think about one of the other two... Not sure exactly what would be best for this. Normally this chatterbox thread could serve that purpose since we can talk about anything here. But... In my mind there there are two reasons for needing a separate thread for news/current events; first would be if you're worried that the topic at hand would get too lost with other stuff before you're done wanting to discuss it, and second because those subjects often lead to political discussion and things can get more heated than we want for the chatterbox. Let me ask you this - when you say news and current events, give an example of what you have in mind? If we want a separate thread for real in-depth discussion of world events/politics then I would say a separate thread here in the main forum would be best. One thread should be fine. A thread for each separate topic would get to be too messy.
i think a thread in the main forum would be sufficient too. a thread for each thing would be too much.
for topics, i'm mostly just thinking about news items that any of us come across and want to discuss with each other. i spend a lot of time online just reading news and blogs and things, and like to talk about them.
i'll make a thread later, but i've gotta jet to school in not too soon. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:53 pm
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Sammirah humble_gypsy_traveller Sammirah Camwen Sammirah Camwen I don't find this to be true. One thing I think can seem confusing is that women (not all but more so than men) are brought up to be more accommodating. We end up being less direct if we think something would involve hurting someone's feelings. Take the example of a guy wanting to date a girl who is not interested in him. She, trying to let him down easy, might say something like "I'm just too busy right now to date anyone." The guy chooses to take this at face value and then is very surprised to see she is going out with someone else a week later. He decides women are flaky and don't know what they want - when the truth is she just wasn't in to him and was trying to be polite. But the whole "women don't know what they want" is in my opinion a false stereotype. i agree that women tend to be less direct and men more so. There's still a little bit of... a woman being direct = bitchy and a man being direct = confidant and assertive. Or at least that's the fear for some of us. But there are whole cultures where it's impolite to be direct. I think especially in the US we (in general) like to get to the point. In some Asian countries you have to circle around an issue as a rule. It's considered very rude if you skip all the social formalities. it's like that in bhutan, for sure. everyone is expected to beat around the bush if they want something or have something critical or negative to say, and i would say it applies even moreso to women. having been here for almost 2 years i just don't give a darn any more about protocol. i won't be rude, but i am very direct, and if someone gives me a useless or too vague reply, i will call them on it. I like your style sammy...I'm that way too...may it help or hurt...just get it across straight. it's sort of a habit i picked up from a long time ago, and that is that, when communicating with someone, i need them to be really clear in their expectations of me. this usually applies to work or school situations where a teacher/boss/co-worker is giving me instructions and i want to be really sure of what i'm supposed to do. i'm a do-it-right-the-first-time kind of person. i've also been standing up for myself a lot more since i got out of a long-term emotionally abusive relationship a couple of years ago. now, if i need something i ask for it. in general i'd rather be a b***h who knows what's going on than a passive weak person who is also confused.
You go girl! Bang on! I've been starting to speak up for what I need out of life as well...a lot of people use to know me (or think they do) to not know what I want/need or know what I'm talking about because I have a brain injury...and I hated that. I got tired of it and searched for people who would hear me out (and believe me when I say it's still a hard ongoing search); so I'm slowly getting the respect I know I deserve...and yeah, sometimes I can't help it but be a b***h. xd |
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:44 am
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:14 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:12 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:45 pm
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 12:15 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 2:47 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:27 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 10:53 am
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 12:17 pm
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