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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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 Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:03 pm
Kisah Orang Gaji
Seorang suami telefon ke rumahnya ketika oustation , dan kebetulan yang
menjawab panggilan telefon adalah seorang orang gaji..
Suami : Hello, selamat petang. Puan ada?
OG : Selamat petang. Ya, encik boleh saya tolong?
Suami : Siapa ni?
OG : Saya orang gaji kat sini.
Suami : Baru, ke? Sebelum ni saya tak pernah guna orang gaji!
OG : Saya baru je kerja hari ni.
Suami : Oh, yeke. Puan ada kat rumah tak?
OG : Ada, encik, puan tengah tidur. Encik ni siapa?
Suami : Saya suaminya.
OG : La.. sekarang puan tidur dengan siapa pulak ni?
Suami : Apa? Ada lelaki lain yang tidur dengan puan ke?
OG : Ya, encik
Suami : Tak guna!!! (dll. sumpah seranah) Eh, engkau boleh tolong tak?
Nanti saya bagi upah RM1 juta .
OG : Boleh.. apa yang boleh saya tolong?
Suami : Masuk ke bilik kerja saya, ambil pistol dalam laci, lepas tu
tembak mereka berdua.
OG : Saya tembak puan dengan lelaki tu ke encik?
Suami : Ya.
OG : (termenung)
Suami : Macamana? Boleh tak? Kalau tidak saya tambahkan RM1juta lagi.
OG : Baik encik... saya lakukan sekarang.
Suami : Cepat!!! Saya tunggu!
Orang gaji itu kemudian mengambil pistol dan, bang..bang.. bang..
OG : Sudah, encik
Suami : Bagus, sekarang tutup hal ni, engkau buang pistol dalam kolam
renang belakang rumah.
OG : Kolam renang yang mana?
Suami : Yang di belakang rumah!
OG : Tak ada, encik. Di belakang rumah ni tak ada kolam renang!
Suami : Yeke ni?
OG : Iya!
Suami : Ni kan nombor 5097600?
OG : Bukan, encik. Sini 5907600.
Suami : Oh, sori. Salah nombor
haha lol biggrin
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:05 pm
Kalau binatang ada FACEBOOK, agak-agak apa status mereka?
NYAMUK : Baru habis ronda rumah Ajib.. kenyang beb, Alhamdulillah.. Murah rezeki malam ni..
CICAK : isteriku tersepit pintu.. Menduda lagi kali ke 24..
KUCING BETINA: “Anak i yang ke-5 baru tanya siapa bapaknya. I bingung nak jawab apa. I sendiri lupa bapaknya siapa.”
AYAM : Boh, kalu esok kawe tak update status, maknonyo kawe keno goreng doh.. I luv u all.. Jangan lupo wat kenduri arwah untuk kawe deh..
NYAMUK: Siot, sekali drug addict gua hantam. Gua positif HIV AIDS… uwaaaaaaa
KUCING JANTAN: Baru je tweet awek sebelah umah… keturunan PARSI beb!!!
KHINZIR : Aku bengang btol la...die gi pijak taik kucing tapi nama aku yang disebutnye...wei bro! len kali siasat dlu la sape yang berak kt depan umah kaw... agak-agak laa weyh...~ HeHeHe... biggrin
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:09 pm
Nama Unik
Ajoi mendapat kerja sebagai guru sandaran di sebuah sekolah di selatan tanah air.
Selepas memperkenalkan diri, dia menyemak nama murid-murid darjah 3 Jaya dan merasa agak pelik semasa membaca nama seorang murid, iaitu “W.TAUFIK WWW”.
Kemudian guru tersebut menanyakan perkara tersebut.
Cikgu Ajoi : “Cikgu nak tahu, siapa yang bernama W.TAUFIK WWW ?”.
Taufik : “Saya Cikgu…” (Taufik menjawab & berdiri).
Cikgu Ajoi : “Taufik, saya ingin tahu nama panjang kamu apa?”.
Taufik : “Maaf Cikgu Ajoi, panjang sangat..”.
Cikgu Ajoi : “Takpe-takpe Taufik,cakap jer..”.
Taufik : “Baik Cikgu , nama penuh saya ialah…Wabillahi TAUFIK-wal hidayah Wassalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh…”.
Cikgu Ajoi menarik nafas panjang dan terdiam.
Setelah dari darjah 3 Raya, Cikgu Ajoi kemudian masuk ke darjah 1 Cemerlang dan menyemak nama murid-murid.
Mata Cikgu Ajoi tertuju pada 1 nama yang unik iaitu “BKBKBDB DIAN”.
Kemudian Cikgu Ajoi menanyakan siapa muridnya yang mempunyai nama tersebut.
Berdirilah seorang murid dan menjawab “saya DIAN Cikgu…”.
Semasa Cikgu Ajoi melihat wajah murid itu seiras muka Taufik darjah 3 Raya.
Cikgu Ajoi : “Dian ada abang di sekolah ini?”.
Dian : “Ya Cikgu,nama dia TAUFIK.Abang saya darjah 3.”
Cikgu Ajoi : “Saya ingin tahu nama panjang Dian apa pulak?”.
Dian : “Baik Cikgu, nama panjang saya ialah…
Berakit-rakit Ke hulu Berenang-renang Ke tepian, Bersakit-sakit Dahulu Bersenang-senang kemu DIAN” biggrin mengong hahaha
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:12 pm
Kisah Suami Yg Tertekan HP
ISTERI: Kenapa abg call?
SUAMI: Abg tertekan.
ISTERI: Abg ok? Abg ada masalah apa? Citer la kat saya...
SUAMI: ?? Saya tertekan je... mana ada masalah apa apa...
ISTERI: Kalau abg ada masalah cerita la....
SUAMI: Masalah apa nye.. abg ok je... abg cuma tertekan je...
ISTERI: Ye la... kalau abg tertekan.. abg kena cerita kat saya...
SUAMI: Tertekan pun kena cerita ke?
(Suami cuba menerangkan yang dia tertekan handset lalu ter-call isterinya)
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:15 pm
michelle branch - everywhere
Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're--you're never there
And when I sleep you're--you're everywhere
You're everywhere
Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone
I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that you might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone
I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh
And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:19 pm
love you like a love song - selena gomez
It's been said and done, every beautiful thought's been already sung and I guess right now, here's another one
So your melody will play on and on with the best of 'em
You are beautiful like a dream come alive, incredible
A centerfold miracle, lyrical. You saved my life again and I want you to know baby.
Chorus
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
Constantly, boy, you play through my mind like a symphony.
There's no way to describe what you do to me.
You just do to me, what you do and it feels like I've been rescued, I've been set free
I am hypnotized by your destiny
You are magical, lyrical, beautiful, you are and I want you to know, baby
Chorus:
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
Bridge:
No one compares, you stand alone to every record I own.
Music to my heart, that's what you are.
A song that goes on and on
I, I love you like a love song, baby (3x)
And I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat
I, I love you like a love song, baby(3x)
Love you
Like a love song
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:21 pm
Nirvana - the man who sold the world
We passed upon the stare
We spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there
He said I was his friend
Which came as a surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone
A long long time ago
Oh no, not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With The Man Who Sold The World
I laughed and shook his hand
And made my way back home
I searched for form and land
For years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazeless stare
At all the millions here
I must have died alone (Alt: I must have died along)
A long, long time ago
(x2)
Who knows?
Not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the Man who Sold the World
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:23 pm
phantom of the opera - nightwish
In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice that calls to me and speaks my name
And do I dream again for now I find
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside my mind
Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me to glance behind
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside your mind.
Those who have seen your face
Draw back in fear
I am the mask you wear
It's me they hear...
BOTH
Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one combined
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside my/your mind
He's there, the phantom of the opera!
Beware, the phantom of the opera
In all your fantasies, you always knew
that man and mystery
Were both in you
BOTH
And in this labyrinth
where night is blind
the Phantom of the Opera is there,
inside my/your mind
He's there, the phantom of the opera
Sing, my Angel of Music
Sing, my Angel
Sing for me
Sing, my Angel!
Sing for me!
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:26 pm
the cure - lovesong
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am home again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am whole again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am young again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am fun again.
However far away,
I will always love you.
However long I stay,
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you;
I will always love you.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am free again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am clean again.
However far away,
I will always love you.
However long I stay,
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you;
I will always love you.
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:33 pm
the humpty dance - digital underground
All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny
but yo I'm makin' money see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.
I like to rhyme,
I like my beats funky,
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
and I even got my own dance
{Chorus:}
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Verse Two:
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.
{Chorus}
Breakdown:
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out
Verse Three:
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.
{Chorus}
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Let's get stoopid!
{Chorus}
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
Outro:
Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and humptiness forever
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:35 pm
brian mckinght - back at one
It's undeniable
That we should be together
It's unbelievable
How I used to say
That I'd fall never
The basis is need to know
If you don't know
Just how I feel
Then let me show you now
That I'm for real
If all things in time
Time will reveal
[Chorus]
One
You're like a dream come true
Two
Just want to be with you
Three
Girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me
And four
Repeat steps one through three
Five
Make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start back at one
It's so incredible
The way things work themselves out
And all emotional
Once you know what it's all about, hey
And undesirable
For us to be apart
I never would have made it very far
'Cause you know you've got the keys to my heart
[Chorus]
One
You're like a dream come true
Two
Just want to be with you
Three
Girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me
And four
Repeat steps one through three
Five
Make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start back at one
Say farewell to the dark of night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child
Whose life has just begun
You came and breathed new life
Into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out of the lifeline
Just in the nick of time
[Chorus]
One
You're like a dream come true
Two
Just want to be with you
Three
Girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me
And four
Repeat steps one through three
Five
Make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start back at one
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Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:39 pm
gavin degraw - not over you
Dreams, that's where I have to go
To see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio
Hope, hope there's a conversation
We both admit we had it good
But until then it's alienation, I know
That much is understood
And I realize
[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you
Damn, damn girl, you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
Took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent
I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me
I turn around and I'm back in the game
Even better than the old me
But I'm not even close without you
[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you
And if I had the chance to renew
You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do
I could get back on the right track
But only if you'd be convinced
So until then...
[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you
Not over you
Not over you
Not over you
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 3:25 pm
rebublik - sandiwara cinta
Aku tahu ini semua tak adil
Aku tahu ini sudah terjadi
Mau bilang apa aku pun tak sanggup
Airmata pun tak lagi mau menitis
Alasan yang sering kali ku dengar
Alasan yang sering kali kau ucap
Kau dengannya seakan ku tak tahu
Sandiwara apa yang telah kau lakukan kepadaku
Chorus
Jujurlah sayang aku tak mengapa
Biar semua jelas tak berbeda
Jika nanti aku yang harus pergi
Ku terima walau sakit hati
Mungkin ini jalan yang engkau mahu
Mungkin ini jalan yang kau inginkan
Kau dengannya seakan ku tak tahu
Sandiwara apa, ceritanya apa, aku tahu
Jujurlah sayang aku tak mengapa
Biar semua jelas tak berbeda
Jika nanti aku yang harus pergi
Ku terima walau sakit hati
Ku terima walau sakit hati
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:57 pm
Dinamik - dilema rindu
Di sepi ini aku mencari
Sinar matamu
Lama ku tunggu tidak ku temu
Ku ayunkan buaian cinta
Di pohon duka
Berguguran keindahan kernamu
Akan ku simpulkan tangis ini
Memaut harapan yang tenggelam
Airmata berguguran
Menyapa penantian
Yang kecundangan
Cinta ku kau persiakan
Tiada arah haluan
Terbiar sayang
Akan ku simpulkan tangis ini
Memaut harapan yang tenggelam
Airmata berguguran
Menyapa penantian
Yang kecundangan
Menjelmalah wahai sayang
Biar pun sekilas pandang
Oh di mataku
Di dalam keresahan ini
Inginku mengadu rindu
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iixXx-RhapsodyRebel-xXxii
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Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 11:34 pm
Jiwangnya Rhapsody blaugh
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