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 Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:01 pm
"I have to go back," Haldia said firmly but softly. "Eventually, I have to go back. I do not belong here, I can never belong here. Language aside, it is a completely different culture and while it is fascinating to observe for a while, I have no place in it."
She looked at Lin sadly. "You do understand, yes? You could not stay with my people either, forever."
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:16 pm
Lin blinked for a moment and nodded, "That is true."
And really it wasn't the culture perse it was the lack of being able to do anything. There was a reason why Lin didn't live in the Seconds World, she would be bored to death on top of feeling useless.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:21 pm
Haldia smiled softly. "Earendil pointed out that Kelirahc is also from my people, and that he is quite happy here ... but there is a difference between myself and him. He is married to someone from here. That alone gives him a connection to this place that I will never have."
It would be hard for her to leave her best friend behind, but he no longer had the ability to put her first, as he had before. He had a family, and they would be first in his life. She no longer had a place of great importance to him. Not, at least, great enough for her to stay for his sake.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:33 pm
Lin simply let Miyuki slide down from the bed, all the while she wondered if she she should really mention it.
"But Earendil..."
She almost said like, but that wasn't the correct term, love was the term she was looking for which was very hard to say.
"Dil!" Miyuki ran off.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 4:17 pm
Haldia blinked and ducked to scoop up Miyuki before the girl could run out the door. "Oh no," she chuckled softly, bouncing Miyuki gently.
She smiled and brought Miyuki back over to Lin. "I know, Earendil would like me to stay and keep trying to learn the language," she murmured. "But perhaps someday I shall return. Like I said, there is no reason for me to stay here."
She was well aware that Earendil wanted to make her feel wanted, but that was it. She knew he had no real personal attachments to her, he was just being as thoughtful as ever.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:18 pm
Taking Miyuki, Lin nodded and cursed her own inability to say something which should make her perfectly happy. Hugging her daughter close, Lin tried again.
"But uhm... he likes you, I mean... really like... loves you."
She had never heard her own voice sound so meek before, and not for the first time she wondered if something wasn't horribly wrong with her.
"Luffs... luff..." Miyuki really needed to choose her timing on words, and how she picked up that word Lin didn't know.
Maybe she talked in her sleep.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:34 pm
Haldia blinked at Lin, taken completely by surprise.
"I ... he ... what?" she stuttered, shocked. She blinked again. "What ... where did you get such an idea as that? Lin, you could not be further from the truth!"
Did she really not know? Haldia wondered if she should say anything. She had tried so hard not to say anything, she knew everyone else was trying for Earendil's sake not to say anything, but ... on the other hand ... she couldn't allow such a misunderstanding to continue. Could she?
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:40 pm
Lin blinked, did Haldia not believe so, but why was that?
"Because he said he loved someone, and... I over heard him say it was someone he travels with..."
And really all other females were married, with the exception of her and Haldia, but Lin wasn't thinking about herself. That was as likely to happen as pigs flying. For some reason that didn't sit well with her to know that.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:48 pm
There was no way she could not say anything after a silly comment like that. Of course, being a Night Elf, the question of interracial marriage had never come up, and thus had never been spoken ill of.
"Lin, has it never occurred to you that it could be you that he meant?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:02 pm
Lin blinked at her as if the idea was very foreign, which it was considering it all.
"Me? But I'm an angel."
Ruel would be completely freak.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:11 pm
"Does that make a difference?" Haldia shot back. "Forget about general ideas, do you believe that it would matter to Earendil?"
She sighed. "Forget that I said anything. Just think about it, because I promise you, it is not me that he loves."
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:18 pm
It was hard not to gap at Haldia or the implications that Haldia was saying. Of course when your daughter was putting her fingers into your mouth, you knew it was time to close it.
"Really?"
She couldn't help but ask that because it was surreal, this wasn't on the list of things Lin expected for herself.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:27 pm
But Haldia was finished with that subject. She turned to the hallway and murmured, "I wonder if Amara is up yet ..."
She was hungry after a long night of inactivity. She headed down the hall to check on the fireplace.
Amara and Fletcher had both passed by while Lin and Haldia had been standing in Earendil's doorway, and both of them were in the kitchen.
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:37 pm
Still standing Lin had to work through mentally what she was told. She had to admit, Earendil had never struck her as the type to care (of course he was fine around her parents, and Miyu and was perfectly fine with Celebor should have clued her in), but she hadn't thought about it as a choice for himself.
Then again he did say, granted very clumsily how he felt about inter-racial marriages.
Ruel was going to make her life hell if he found out. Unless Luthien made his life hell first.
Did she just accidentally created a scandal? Well she admitted nothing topped the scandal that was Ruel's twin brother, this was probably going to be a close second place.
Miyuki wiggled in her arms, not wanting to be held so close. She didn't know what was up with her mother at all.
"Hush... mommy is thinking," Lin murmured to Miyuki taking a seat on the bed.
"Mummi," Miyuki parroted.
Lin was in too much shock to think about the fact she was going to have to be extra careful what she said around her daughter, she was still trying to work through it. It wasn't like Earendil had said anything, but he did say he thought that the person he loved didn't love him.
Did he love her?
Goddesses, did she love him?
"Mummi!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 6:45 pm
After checking the fire, Haldia joined Amara and Fletcher in the kitchen, until a short while later when she was sent out to fetch Lin for breakfast.
"Lin?" she said, knocking on Lin's doorframe to get her attention. "Breakfast is ready ... are you going to join us?"
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