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 Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:17 pm
lol @ RK, heys!..thanks..? (on teh little part..that's a new one) @_@
In any case, I will say what I've said to others..no matter in my strongest or weakest moments, I become nothing for it is all I am seen as. No I shouldn't care what others think, but it's all I've been able to live in since I have no reason personally to love myself.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:21 pm
Nyghtbringer But, do know that the signs ov weakness are the first step to failure. Weakness is corrupted, and through your signs ov pity show the fiery colours ov weakness.
Show strength, and stand confident, lest you desire to have nothing in life but failures. I agree. I use to feel like a total utter failer who was ugly and all that oddness. You have to belevie that you can get pass whatever you feel about yourself becasue you'll always be where you are if you don't. If you belevie that people will always leave you then they will becasue you make it happen becasue its somethign that you already beleive. "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. As one who reckons, he says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you (but is grudging the cost)." Prov. 23:7 (Amplified)
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 2:45 pm
No matter what I've done in life, whether clinging to God or letting things go..nothing..there is just nothing there for me.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:47 pm
Ace xAngel No matter what I've done in life, whether clinging to God or letting things go..nothing..there is just nothing there for me. May I PM you?
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:48 pm
Ace xAngel No matter what I've done in life, whether clinging to God or letting things go..nothing..there is just nothing there for me. I talk to you! you're awesome girly
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:03 pm
Aye, I do not mind for those who do help..and it's just..I mean I appreciate every bit of that help but..it all comes down to what I think and I..just don't have enough strength anymore.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:05 pm
God ever gives you more than you can handle right?
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 4:15 pm
Well He sure loves bringing me to the brink of everything enough..no one there to help and I barely have what it takes to even do anything before wanting to kill myself at that.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:57 pm
Pathetic.......Utterly! You should try. Just try to be in strength. Your weakness reeks in the air, and you should rid yourself ov it. I have been raised to not tolerate the weak, and to rid myself ov them, for they have given up hope to stay in their same desolate ways.
Never to rise again, never to fight or challenge again.
One without honour or pride is one without anything. I suppose I am wasting my words on you, if you think that way.
Honestly, to commune with the weak is to stoop down to them. But I do this, for it is the humane thing to do.
Now, do the humane and stand like one, instead ov revel in the sorrows and pity as like a beast. You are here in a Christian guild, seek guidance and wishes to honour from your God.
To put yourself to Death is the most coward ov things to do. To not be able to brave the challenges that rise before you....if you are that weak, then Death would be the only answer and you should do it. And, just like a beast on the side ov the road, you will be kicked aside and forgotten.
Rise up from your self~pity, and stand like a human. Surely somewhere in that longing soul ov yours, you have a small flicker ov hope....some pride you can still claim! If you peer inside and see nothing, then you know what must be done.
But, shed yourself ov weakness.......It sickens everyone about you, proving nothing but your ultimate destination.
Bah, I am done with this.
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:11 pm
Wow, Senpai... Your husband looks almost identical to my brother, except the hair colour is different! surprised eek
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 12:27 am
I greatly appreciate your help, but why must I work to be something that I'm not?..I can be strong, yet only for myself.
I have hope, but not in a bitter world that accepts nothing of me; not because of my pathetic ways but because of who I am when I am strong and myself. I only am to live for myself and no one else.
They do not wish for me, I do not wish for them. To a life of solitude, I will have. I'm best to taking on the world alone.
"For a long time I had been searching for a way to open the door that would take me away from this dream..but I realized something..there wasn't a door in the first place..now that I am to die, I finally see that..this was all I had to find.."
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 8:32 pm
Kari Seregon Wow, Senpai... Your husband looks almost identical to my brother, except the hair colour is different! surprised eek Thats funny lol . My husbands 23. We're college sweethearts heart . I still feel like a giddy newlywed mrgreen . Are they close in age?
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:06 pm
Kawaii_Senpai Kari Seregon Wow, Senpai... Your husband looks almost identical to my brother, except the hair colour is different! surprised eek Thats funny lol . My husbands 23. We're college sweethearts heart . I still feel like a giddy newlywed mrgreen . Are they close in age? Sort of, I guess... My brother is 19. blaugh
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:23 am
I got the pics from the play - there are some good pics - just not really many good ones of me. But thasa okie. I'll post a few once I upload them to photobucket.
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:47 am
Okay here they are. These are really the only good ones of me (the photographer somehow missed both my big numbers... wow.) I may post some more later.    Oh yeah - I'm the one wearing the cowboy hat in all but the fourth one. And if you didn't know, the play was Footloose.
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