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 Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 7:31 am
Solens Did anyone managed to guess that it was Gendou long before Graye splurted out the name? I am feeling so great that literature lessons are doing something after all.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:01 am
Kris The Seraphim Solens Did anyone managed to guess that it was Gendou long before Graye splurted out the name? I am feeling so great that literature lessons are doing something after all. Funnily, that wasn't what gave him away... ...now I can't remember what did though.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:38 am
I like how you handle exposition. You don't cut big slabs of paragraph, but slice it up into good-sized portions.
Defenestrated? Sweet. surprised
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:52 am
I was able to tell it was Gendou from the start of the chapter. Ominous guy in black? Yep.
I liked everything that was revealed in this chapter, though there didn't seem to be much actual plot advancement. The character that I wasn't able to guess was Def. Who knew? I also love how Graye was set up. At the beginning of the story, she seemed like a force to be reckoned with. But then she got caught. And now she's set up. I bet she's going to make a surprising comeback. 3nodding
Anyway, I'm going to be gone or the next 10 days, so I look forward to having several chapers to catch up on when I return! wink
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:28 am
Solens Kris The Seraphim Solens Did anyone managed to guess that it was Gendou long before Graye splurted out the name? I am feeling so great that literature lessons are doing something after all. Funnily, that wasn't what gave him away... ...now I can't remember what did though.
No one knows your thought, and you shouldn't think that.
People have their decisions and opinions.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:33 am
Oh, and also when he mentioned the scarf...
He is one of the only people I know in the Church of Mod that has a scarf.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:15 pm
Kris The Seraphim Oh, and also when he mentioned the scarf...
He is one of the only people I know in the Church of Mod that has a scarf. You so sure of that? Anyway, Gendou, two amazing chapters. I love the character personalities, and the way they interact. Many people attempt to make scenes like these come out smoothly, but they just look forced. You succeed in letting the characters be themselves, and also provide backstory. More details into the connection between Graye and the Legion, more revelations about Gendou. And of course, my favorite scene so far: Quote: "Shouldn't we take turns riding in the cart?" Alliance whispered to Blue. "You suggest it to her," Blue muttered, nodding to where Ruevian sat in the cart, holding the reins of the two horses Mory had brought back from Galeward. They had only been on the road a few hours, and none of them were feeling tired thanks to Ananel's blessings. Even so, the walking was tedious. "Hell no," Alliance choked. "Oh, hell, no." "That's what I thought," Blue chuckled darkly. His partner was a brave man, but neither was he foolish enough to make a 'suggestion' their de-facto leader. "What are you two discussing?" Mory asked, coming up behind them as they walked. Alliance smiled brightly over his shoulder. "Tea." Mory brightened. "I love tea. Especially tea with honey." A wistful look crossed her face. "I miss the honey from Highguard." Blue nodded in solemn agreement. "The best honey in the world," he said. The two sighed as they reminisced. Alliance kept his peace, being a sugar man himself.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:26 pm
AHA. He's in the chapter. He's deliciously evil. He's got a PLAN. And now we know who he is. (Not that we didn't already, but still. biggrin )
Tea with honey made me smile. ...well, tea with honey always makes me smile, yes, but the point is, it was nifty that such a random favorite of IRL!mine ended up in the story. heart
Graye and Arcadian are now officially my favorite characters. That is all. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:30 pm
Ah...
So far my favorite character is Ananel.
I wish that I could meet him, but I haven't seen him around...
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:36 pm
Tea and honey! Although may I add that lemon also goes well in black teas? Of course not in conjunction with cream. Citric acid and milk get on like... well, peanut butter and pickle relish, which my grandfather enjoys in place of peanut butter and jelly, incidentally. He's a bit strange about his food.
*corrals his errant thoughts*
But I'm supposed to be commenting on the story, aren't I? The Gray Legion's dynamics are really quite good. Everyone's got a role to play. (And I'm more than happy to work as comic relief at times with Alliance. Brings back fond memories of The Master and Margarite. Now if you could just turn me into a giant tom cat with a semi-automatic pistol and make Alliance a skiny little man with a cracked pince-nez...) You're doing a great job of pacing the story's revelations; everything in due time, but not making us wait so long that we get frustrated.
And your character is as wonderfully brooding and mysterious as ever. Keep up the good work.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 12:36 pm
Well, he's the only one I've seen wearing one.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 2:55 pm
Kris The Seraphim Well, he's the only one I've seen wearing one. Off the top of my head, there's also Kia, Grayed, Eternitian, and Deep Vermillion. AND, to keep this post on topic I'm also gonna say that Mory must be scared. So far, Ruevian is coming across as a bit of a b***h, and Graye is no motherly figure either. whee My favorite character so far is definately Ananel, but I love the Blue-Alliance couple too.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 3:48 pm
Katane AND, to keep this post on topic I'm also gonna say that Mory must be scared. So far, Ruevian is coming across as a bit of a b***h, and Graye is no motherly figure either. whee I'M SO SCARED, YOU GUYS crying I don't know who killed everyone in the tavern and I think it was me and then I got dragged off by a straaaange man and Miss Rue is MEAN to me and if I'm bad she might get violent ;_;
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 7:36 pm
Well, if I weren't coming off as a b***h, it really wouldn't be me.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 9:36 pm
I love this whole story! I want to hear more about the Legion, and what happened to Gendou. It sounds scary.
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