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 Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:37 pm
Banasilo ivory_vamp Banasilo Hi every one im new im going to post a sample but the battle sytem is conpoosing me. Sample: Arge was walking home when it cliked in his mind that his swords were still at the smith getting repared. He ran to the black smith and walked in. "HI" he said "I was just checking oon my swords." "Oh" said the smith "hold on." The smith walked to the back and came back with them. "here you go" said the smith as he handed Arge his swords. "Thank you." said Arge. Arge made it home. He opened the door and layed on his bed. "ah" he thought "time to relax" (i love relaxing) (hope ypu liked it)
-No Pass-
Hmmm... try to lesson up on saying "---- said" all the time. And then, you can't just say "Arge made it home." Did he walk home? Did he fly on the magical bus home? Otherwise it was good. Post one more for me. ^-^OMG MAGIC BUS! Sample sad edited) Sample: Arge was walking home when it cliked in his mind that his swords were still at the smith getting repared. He ran to the black smith and walked in. "HI" he said "I was just checking oon my swords." "Oh" said the smith "hold on." The smith walked to the back and came back with them. "here you go" said the smith as he handed Arge his swords. "Thank you." said Arge. Arge walked home with out any interuptoins it was one of the most peaceful walk he had in a long time. He opened the door and layed on his bed. "ah" he thought "time to relax
Pass.
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:39 pm
Miroku Yukidaruna Whoo, I rock way hardcore. xd
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:20 pm
Okay, here it goes!
Sample:
Just relax, Izumi kept telling herself. How hard can starting a new school possibly be?
Taking a deep breathe, the young girl stepped through the large doors of the building, only to crash into another student. Papers flew into the air, and the was a loud thud as both landed on the marble floors. "Umph!" they both groaned. Other kids in the halls stopped to point and giggle.
"Uh, s-sorry!" was Izumi's reply. Boy did she feel really stupid right now...
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:23 pm
Llanea Okay, here it goes! Sample: Just relax, Izumi kept telling herself. How hard can starting a new school possibly be? Taking a deep breathe, the young girl stepped through the large doors of the building, only to crash into another student. Papers flew into the air, and the was a loud thud as both landed on the marble floors. "Umph!" they both groaned. Other kids in the halls stopped to point and giggle. "Uh, s-sorry!" was Izumi's reply. Boy did she feel really stupid right now...
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:19 pm
---im gonna make up a char name since i havent fully developed mine yet... smile
shami walked through the brass doors to the apartment complex where she would sleep while not training.
"wow this place is huge for a single" she exclaimed as he came in the room puttin down her brown boxes. she made several trips up and down the stairs and ran into someone from the acadamie(she could tell from the book he was carring called kunai stealth and precision) on her 4th trip to her room.
"hi im new here my names shami kukaji, i live in the apartment across the hall from you and im starting the acadamie tomarro i guess that means well be neighbors as well as soboardinates."
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:00 pm
E-fe ---im gonna make up a char name since i havent fully developed mine yet... smile shami walked through the brass doors to the apartment complex where she would sleep while not training. "wow this place is huge for a single" she exclaimed as he came in the room puttin down her brown boxes. she made several trips up and down the stairs and ran into someone from the acadamie(she could tell from the book he was carring called kunai stealth and precision) on her 4th trip to her room. "hi im new here my names shami kukaji, i live in the apartment across the hall from you and im starting the acadamie tomarro i guess that means well be neighbors as well as soboardinates." Okay, I'm not a mod, but I will give you some quick tips so you can pass right away. Your verbs and adjectives are wonderful, so are your descriptions. All that you really need work on is your spelling and punctuation (now bolded, following ivory-vamp's example) . Shami walked through the brass doors to the apartment complex where she would sleep while not training. " Wow this place is huge for a single ," she exclaimed as she came in the room , puttin g down her brown boxes. She made several trips up and down the stairs and ran into someone from the acadam y (she could tell from the book he was carr ying called Kunai Stealth and Precision) on her 4th trip to her room. " Hi , I'm new here . My name 's Shami Kukaji, I live in the apartment across the hall from you and I'm starting the acadam y tom orrow, I guess that means well be neighbors as well as s ubordinates." The mods aren't as picky as that, they focus on actual RP skill and not so much on typing, but I thought I'd try to help. sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 4:12 am
Miroku Yukidaruna E-fe ---im gonna make up a char name since i havent fully developed mine yet... smile shami walked through the brass doors to the apartment complex where she would sleep while not training. "wow this place is huge for a single" she exclaimed as he came in the room puttin down her brown boxes. she made several trips up and down the stairs and ran into someone from the acadamie(she could tell from the book he was carring called kunai stealth and precision) on her 4th trip to her room. "hi im new here my names shami kukaji, i live in the apartment across the hall from you and im starting the acadamie tomarro i guess that means well be neighbors as well as soboardinates." Okay, I'm not a mod, but I will give you some quick tips so you can pass right away. Your verbs and adjectives are wonderful, so are your descriptions. All that you really need work on is your spelling and punctuation (now bolded, following ivory-vamp's example) . Shami walked through the brass doors to the apartment complex where she would sleep while not training. " Wow this place is huge for a single ," she exclaimed as she came in the room , puttin g down her brown boxes. She made several trips up and down the stairs and ran into someone from the acadam y (she could tell from the book he was carr ying called Kunai Stealth and Precision) on her 4th trip to her room. " Hi , I'm new here . My name 's Shami Kukaji, I live in the apartment across the hall from you and I'm starting the acadam y tom orrow, I guess that means well be neighbors as well as s ubordinates." The mods aren't as picky as that, they focus on actual RP skill and not so much on typing, but I thought I'd try to help. sweatdrop thanks for the tip.. i havent done a lot of rping and most of the ones i did were compu-speak so its nice to kno that i gotta actually...really type lol... and my teacher in english is sayin the same thing on my senior portfoleo...im such a ditz but thanks heart
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:14 am
No problem. biggrin
Like I said, it was actually really good, I can just be a Grammar-Nazi sometimes. blaugh
And senior portfolios are a pain in the a**. xd
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 10:24 am
Okay, I've read what is needed to, hopefully, and now my final exam!
RP example:
Moaning, Solita rolled over in her bed and opened her eyes. The sunlight from her window shined through, right into her eyes, forcing her to close them. Rolling back over, she spotted her clock. "6:30! you've got to be kidding me! i woke up late!" she shouted to herself and ran around her room, changing. "Damn it! on the first day to!" pulling on her glasses, she turned to the mirror. "Morning, beautiful!" she winked to herself. 'Man, got to stop doing that.' she mentally added. Grabbing her ba, she ran out the door to catch the bus.
Hope I graduted!
Oh, where do i createe my character?
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:27 pm
E-fe ---im gonna make up a char name since i havent fully developed mine yet... smile shami walked through the brass doors to the apartment complex where she would sleep while not training. "wow this place is huge for a single" she exclaimed as he came in the room puttin down her brown boxes. she made several trips up and down the stairs and ran into someone from the acadamie(she could tell from the book he was carring called kunai stealth and precision) on her 4th trip to her room. "hi im new here my names shami kukaji, i live in the apartment across the hall from you and im starting the acadamie tomarro i guess that means well be neighbors as well as soboardinates." I agree with him. 3nodding Your actual RP skills are perfectly fine. But remember! Capitalization and spelling are your friends. Pass.
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:31 pm
leopardwarrior Okay, I've read what is needed to, hopefully, and now my final exam! RP example: Moaning, Solita rolled over in her bed and opened her eyes. The sunlight from her window shined through, right into her eyes, forcing her to close them. Rolling back over, she spotted her clock. "6:30! you've got to be kidding me! i woke up late!" she shouted to herself and ran around her room, changing. "Damn it! on the first day to!" pulling on her glasses, she turned to the mirror. "Morning, beautiful!" she winked to herself. 'Man, got to stop doing that.' she mentally added. Grabbing her ba, she ran out the door to catch the bus. Hope I graduted! Oh, where do i createe my character? Ooh! I like your character. ^^ Same thing actually. Your RP skills are good. But you need to watch your capitalization and spelling. It really doesn't take that much longer to check over your post before submitting it. And it saves the rest of us alot of headache. xD Pass. You create your character by going to the Game System Forum. After completing the necessary form, PM it to the Kage of your chosen village. If you have any other questions: First- Read the Battle System threads again. Second- Read them again. Third- If you still can't figure it out, just ask your question in one of the appropriate thread or PM one of the mods. ^^
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Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 2:20 pm
Ok I just got in and here I go. I think this is the first thing im supposed to do but I read the battle system ( so much like D&D loving it ) but if im out of order just tell me.
RP sample
Groaning, Tetzue leaned against a tree worn out from the day of training he had just completed. "I can't wait till i can go on real missions and get money and fame," said Tetzue. With that said tetzue had a hardened look upon his face once again, as if by saying that hes energy he had spent training had returned. "Break tims up." whispered tutzue to himself, and that night tetzue didnt sleep he trained and trained and trained till he collapsed the next morning.
End, well I hope you like it! can't wait to start Rping
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:58 pm
Here goes for my test, took me forever to read all those rules! By the way tell me if anything is particularily lacking in my punctuation/grammar/vocabulary, english isn't my first language so I sometimes mix up some rules...
Test submission:
"I'll get to it right away!", cheerfully shouted Ein. He ran outside the house, his face still marked with the mysterious extracts his clan's elders used for the ceremony, and headed towards the woods where his parents would allow him to play on warm, sunny days like this one.
"Ok where could I find --", he suddenly stops as he notices a brown rabbit standing next to a tree. "A bunny! This would be really cool for my first try at this...". The young boy tries with all his skill to approach the animal silently. Step by step, staring at the ground to avoid breaking any twigs that could scare off his long eared test subject. He approaches... he gets closer, CLOSER, CLOSER...
"EIN! What's the matter with you? Running off like that when everyone came to watch your initiation ritual! You come back here this instant young man!", screamed his mother from his house's front door.
Spooked by the woman's blood freezing scream, the little furball runs off into the woods, leaving the gleaming eyed boy behind.
"Ah man...". Ein starts heading back towards his house. "Guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to try out my animal mimicry technique..."
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:04 am
Ok, I will try my best.
My characters name is sandru gatzo
RP Sample:
Walking through the cold dead forest, sandru thought to him self could there be any enemy up ahead, he looked at the ground, he noticed faint foot prints. He thought to him self, "these are to big to be human". Sandru heard a snap in the bush, he quickly but silently removed a ki knife from his side pocket, he formed a defensive stance. He was now ready for any incoming attack. The cause of the noise swiftly left the bush, "it's a bunny".
He lowered his tensed shoulders and continued to walk with the ki knife still firmly in his hand.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 1:06 am
ninja new here but i think i could pass this
RP sample:
*wakes up and looks at the clook* gonk damn it!! im late for class agan! hokage-sama i going to kill me if i dont get soon! *makes his caffe and jumps into the shawer* i better call the school, to tell them im going to be late(agan). i really need to start seting my alarm clock. *walter gets to his class* hey guys, sorry im late (agan). sweatdrop hope u can come around to forgive me. now today i will be give u a histery lession *class sighs* yah yah, i know, its boring. but just trust me on this one, it will help u out later in life.*walter hives his long lession on the 1st.2nd 3ed, and the 4th hokage's.
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