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Damn, he had to be tired… because Daichi didn’t understand the significance of Kaoru’s words. He was speaking his mind, saying his opinion, and Daichi was acting like it was nothing, just concern for his well being, which he did appreciate... Though he wasn’t used to anyone other than mother or Rui really worrying about him. He ran his hand through his messy hair and nodded. “And a shower.” He said with a soft smile. Order of events” food, shower, sleep? Though…. Food was still being prepared… so maybe shower, food, sleep?

Pulled from his thoughts, he turned to Rui, then looked down at the puppy. Being in his old room, on his old bed, so close to sleep and yet so far away, his brain was taking its happy time to comprehend and generate responses. He nodded. “If she’ll go with you, I’d appreciate that… we haven’t been able to play with her like she needs…” he felt a bit guilty for that. Daichi looked up at Kaoru and smiled softly. Without thinking, he reached up and brushed his thumb along Kaoru’s cheek, just looking at Kaoru with the softest of looks. After a minute, he realized what he was doing was inappropriate and dropped his hand, as his cheeks turned a light color of pink. “I think I’m going to shower first before food.” He said, giving him an excuse to leave the bed. “I’ll see you later, Rui?” he asked quickly before he practically dashed to the bathroom.

Once the door was closed to the bathroom, he leaned back against the hard wood with a sigh. He needed sleep and food and… damn it, he was embarrassing himself. Murmurings on the other side of the door told him the others were talking, hoping Rui was leaving with Hana so Kaoru could rest. He walked over to the shower, purposely leaving the door unlocked, and turned on the shower. He wasn’t sure if Kaoru would want to join him, and he wouldn’t admit out loud that he hoped Kaoru would join him, but the unlocked door was an invitation if Kaoru decided to take it. And it wasn’t because he wanted to do anything intimate with Kaoru… at least right now… he turned the water to warm and started to undress. Luckily his finger brace was removable, meaning his finger wasn’t in that bad of shape… though he would need to be careful not to use that hand too much in the shower. He folded his clothes and set them on the sink, with his brace on top of the clothes before he stepped into the warm water.

Daichi reached his good hand in front of him and leaned, letting the warm water cascade down his head and back. His hair dampened against his cheeks, neck, back, and chest. He just rested there a moment, eyes closed, just thinking. So much had happened over the course of a few days, with very little rest… Daichi was exhausted. It wasn’t until the door slightly creaked that Daichi realized he had almost fallen asleep standing up. He turned his head to his name, but otherwise didn’t move. Water droplets gathered on his eyelashes as he stared at Kaoru for a moment. The male was already naked, must have changed out in the bedroom. Daichi couldn’t help a quick cursory glance down Kaoru’s body. His ribs were bruised, dark against his pale skin. Other than that, he looked… perfect. But neither of them was in the right mental or physical condition for intimacy at the moment. There were too many questions to ask first… not to mention rest was definitely needed… Daichi was starting to act weird, at least in his eyes it was weird.

He shifted when Kaoru got into the shower with him, moving so they could share the water. He looked down at his hand, absent mindedly, and flexed his hand. His face flashed a pained expression before his hand stilled. “An extra pair of hands would be helpful. Thank you.” He said softly. He must have been staring for too long because Kaoru was speaking again, and he had a soaped up wash cloth. Daichi blinked, confused for a moment. When did Kaoru get the soap ready? He nodded and stepped forward to get mostly out of the water spray. He looked down at Kaoru as the male reached out to touch him. Something clicked in his head and Daichi quickly, but gently wrapped his hand around Kaoru’s wrist, stopping him short from actually touching him. “Wait, Kaoru…” he looked down at the male, brows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you here?” he asked, realizing only after he spoke how blunt his words were. “I mean,” he quickly added, trying to soften his words. “Do you want to be here… showering with me… or do you ‘have’ to be here?” he asked.

Tired blue eyes studied Kaoru’s face as he gave his answer. Rui told Daichi to ask if he was ever concerned Kaoru was doing something because of his ‘training’. And Rui had told him to believe what he heard… so he tried, he really did. His hand moved away from Kaoru’s wrist and up to cup the side of his face. His thumb brushed over Kaoru’s cheek bone a few times, the softest of smiles played across his face. He desperately wanted to kiss Kaoru right now. The urge and desire were so immense… his eyes flickered down to Kaoru’s lips and the desire just grew… but he couldn’t just kiss him… not anymore… What if Kaoru really didn’t want it? What if he had only kissed Daichi before because he was ‘supposed’ to? Right now, knowledge like that (Kaoru was only intimate with Daichi due to his training) would probably break the blue eyed male. He let his hand drop, giving Kaoru now full access to his chest, shoulders, and arms.

Daichi froze when Kaoru stole his kiss. He blinked a few times, forcing himself not to touch his lips in wonder. He just smiled at Kaoru, his look soft and loving. The message/cleaning felt amazing! As he turned around, he pulled his hair in front, out of Kaoru’s way. He closed his eyes at the soft pressure of Kaoru’s fingers. He found himself almost asleep again when Kaoru spoke again. He blinked and turned, “Thank you. My turn.” He said, noticing the blush, but he assumed it was due to the heat of the shower. Using his good hand, he repeated the same actions on Kaoru, front to back. He was careful around Kaoru’s bruises, barely touching him in fear of hurting him. If he wasn’t so tired, this would be very arousing. It didn’t take long to clean Kaoru’s smaller frame, but he tried to give Kaoru as much pleasure as he had given Daichi.

Once their bodies were clean, he wrung out the wash cloth and set it to dry. “Can you help me with my hair?” he asked softly. Washing his long hair with one hand was the thing he had been dreading when he got in the shower. But with Kaoru’s help, it didn’t take very long, and was quite relaxing. Daichi shifted places so Kaoru could wash his own hair and rinse off.

Now clean, the water was shut off and Daichi stepped out on the bath mat, grabbing a towel for Kaoru before grabbing one for himself. He patted himself dry before wrapping an additional towel from his hair. Towel around his waist, he walked out into the bedroom to get a change of clothes. He chuckled softly as he tossed a shirt, underwear, and pants onto the bed. “I think the shower was a bad idea… Now I’m more tired.” He said, tired amusement in his voice. Daichi quickly dressed and started to towel dry his hair when there was a soft knock at the door.

“Daichi? Kaoru, dear? Come eat. Food’s ready.” His mother’s voice resonated through the door. “On our way, mother.” Daichi turned to Kaoru to make sure he was dressed and ready. “Ready?” he asked, slipping his brace back onto his finger before he held his hand out to Kaoru. They walked to the kitchen, where the table was set for an early dinner. There were currently four place settings. Yui was already seated as the head of the table. “How was the shower?” she asked as they entered. “And how are you feeling Kaoru?” she asked concerned. Daichi held a seat out for Kaoru, pushing him in before he took a spot between Kaoru and his mouth. “Shower felt great. But now I’m barely awake.” Daichi said softly.

Daichi smiled at Hana when Rui entered. “Thank you, Rui. She needed the exercise.” He said. His attention soon returned to his plate. And now with Rui here, it was okay to start eating. Daichi started to eat, silent as Yui started to talk with Rui. He hardly noticed Kaoru leaning on his arm, just smiled softly and focused on his meal. It was some healthy version of fried rice and sweet and sour chicken.

Yui smiled to herself when Kaoru leaned on Daichi while he ate. They both looked exhausted… like walking zombies. She decided to let them eat in place and make conversation with Rui. “So Rui, I’ve had the guest room made for you, it’s one the first floor, down the hall, at the end.” She said, gesturing in the direction of the room as she spoke. “I do hope you’ll be able to stay for a while. It’s been ages since we have caught up.” She said with a smile. She glanced over at the drowsy males, then back to Rui. She wanted to talk to Rui about the two of them, once they went to sleep. Hopefully Rui would get the hint.

Daichi finished off his plate, very grateful to have food in his stomach. But it only made staying awake harder. He sipped his tea while he waited for Kaoru to finish, trying to focus in on his mother’s conversation, but it was pointless. He couldn’t focus on much more than the light weight and warmth of Kaoru’s head against his shoulder. When it seemed Kaoru was done, Daichi shifted slightly, trying to warn Kaoru he was moving before he pulled away. “Finished?” he asked, grabbing both of their plates.

Yui was enjoying her conversation with Rui when she noticed the boys were finished eating. She on the other hand was talking and therefore taking longer to finish her food. “Daichi, just leave the plates on the counter.” She said quickly as Daichi got up to clear plates. “And go rest my dears, you two look exhausted.

Daichi didn’t have to be told twice. He mumbled a soft thank you and set the plates near the sink on the counter. He waited for Kaoru at the entrance of the dinning room before leading the male up to their room. He didn’t say anything, but he had his hand gently pressed against Kaoru’s lower back, keeping him close, but also guiding him along. Once in their room, door shut, he striped off his pants and tossed them onto the chair. The rest of his clothes (T-shirt and underwear) were comfortable enough to sleep in. Daichi took a moment to close the blinds in the room, making the place darker and more inviting for sleep. He took no time at all to pull back the covers and slip into the bed, sighing softly as he relaxed into the mattress. Opening his eyes for a moment, he held the sheets up, waiting for Kaoru to join him before he lowered his arm. “Can I hold you, Kaoru?” he asked softly, giving Kaoru the chance to say no if he wanted.

Once comfortable, Daichi was asleep in minutes. The warmth of Kaoru at his side, the gentle breathing, and the quiet atmosphere lulled him into a deep sleep. He didn’t dream, which he was grateful for after the day(s) he was having. When he woke, the room was pitch black. Frozen, it took him a few moments to realize where he was, and who was in bed with him. He immediately relaxed when his eyes adjusted to the dark and he could make out the faintest of lines of Kaoru’s face. He glanced over at the clock beside the bed, frowning a bit when he saw the time. It was two in the morning. He looked back down at Kaoru and watched the male sleep for a few minutes, just mulling over the events of the past couple of days. He was so happy Kaoru was still here, in his arms, safe…

Sighing to himself, he realized he wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep. He kissed Kaoru’s forehead gently, careful not to wake him. Very carefully, he slipped out of Kaoru’s hold and slid out of bed. He quietly put on his pants and grabbed his laptop before leaving the room. Quietly, he headed down to the living room, with the intent he’d get some work done… how long was it since he’d been to work. Almost a week… He turned on a light and settled on the couch, laptop in his lap. The house was dead, everyone else was still asleep… so maybe he could get something done before people woke up.

It didn’t take him long to log into his computer and pull up some files to read. Basic stuff, but he still wrote notes all over the documents as he read them. His legs curled up under him, and he leaned into the arm of the couch, getting comfortable. His long hair, tussled from sleep, framed his face as he read, his blue eyes focused on the screen. Fingers idlily played with a strand of his hair as he read.

Daichi heard the patter of tiny feet in the darkness before anything else. So he wasn’t too surprised when Hana came over and jumped at him, wanting up on the couch. He leaned down and with one hand helped her up onto the couch, his eyes barely darting from the screen. He was surprised Kaoru had followed along, thinking she had just wiggled out of the room herself. “Hmm?” He blinked at Kaoru, as if just registering he was there. “No, I slept… just couldn’t get back to sleep.” He said softly, his eyes flicking back to the screen for a moment, then back to Kaoru. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” He said softly as Kaoru moved to stand behind the couch. He craned his neck to follow until Kaoru was settled behind him, his hands in his hair. He turned back to the screen with a soft smile. “Thank you.” He said softly before he went back to reading. Currently he was reading financial reports. The hand had had been playing with his hair was now busy petting Hana, whenever he didn’t need it to type in a comment.

Kaoru’s gentle fingers in his hair felt amazing, very relaxing. And with Hana there to keep his idle hand busy, he was in a perfect trance. Quickly reading through the financial report, a task that usually took him twice as long, he tilted his head back to look at Kaoru upside down. “Not really…” he reached his hand up and cupped the side of Kaoru’s face. “I can go back to the room and work if you want. If you think you can sleep more…” He understood if Kaoru was having a hard time sleeping in this unfamiliar place. And he could work anywhere… But maybe Kaoru wasn’t in the mood to sleep? Maybe he wanted to talk? “This stuff can also wait…” he said, leaving the invite to talk open but unsaid. He didn’t want to make Kaoru feel like he was pressured to talk.

Daichi pinched Kaoru’s cheek gently. “It’s alright. Work can wait.” He said softly. He almost said ‘You’re more important.’ But no, it was too early to start embarrassing himself already. Daichi smiled at the kiss on his palm and nodded about the warm drink. “That sounds great. Thank you.” He said softly, letting his hand fall back down to his computer keyboard. He lifted his head back up to the read the screen, but froze when Kaoru hugged him. The hug didn’t last long. But it distracted Daichi enough. He stared at the male until he was out of sight, then stared at the darkness for a few more moments. He looked back at his screen and blinked a few times before he smiled. Kaoru was still very much a mystery… he had so many questions to ask in Rui’s presence…

Daichi made it through a few more short documents by the time Kaoru came back with the hot drinks. He leaned forward and placed his laptop on the coffee table before he settled back against the couch with a sigh. “Thank you.” He said, gladly taking the warm cup. He smirked when he realized when Kaoru had made. “Ask a kid, I would drink a cup of hot chocolate every night… until mother realized.” He chuckled softly before he blew on his beverage. He took a sip and sighed. “It’s very good, thank you Kaoru.” He said softly. They sat in silence for another minute, with Daichi staring out the living room window before an idea clicked. “Hey, you want to go watch the sunrise?” he asked. There were these large glass doors that lead out to the backyard they could stay in front of to watch the sun rise. Or, if they didn’t mind the chill, they could go outside and listen to the birds wake up.

Daichi stood, cup in hand, then held out his injured hand for Kaoru to take. He lead the male around to the large glass doors that lead out to the backyard. He sipped his coco as glanced up at the sky. It was already starting to lighten; the stars were gone. Daichi was happy with the amount of work he had been able to finish during the last couple of hours. He probably didn’t need to do much more… but of course his over-achieving attitude made it hard to put his job on a back burner. Sighing softly, he pushed the thought of work to the back of his mind and focused on this moment… watching the sun rise with Kaoru. He nodded at Kaoru’s question. “Sure, it’ll be a bit chilly, but I’m sure we’ll manage.” He said softly, gladly taking in the moments of quiet.

Once the sky was significantly brighter, Daichi unlocked the doors and held it open for Kaoru. The air was fresh and crisp. He shut the door behind himself and took a deep breath of cool air. It was definitely a bit chilly, but nothing too uncomfortable. Daichi stood behind Kaoru and wrapped his arm around the male, across his chest and shoulders. “Is this okay?” he asked softly, his lips near Kaoru’s ear. They stood and watched the sun rise slowly, coloring the sky in reds, oranges, yellows, and golds. Daichi remained quiet for a long while… but reality had a nasty way of catching up to him. “I’m sure Rui is going to want to sit down with us and talk today.” He said softly, almost like if he spoke too loudly the world would shatter. “Think you would be up to that?” he asked, worried about Kaoru and his current mental state.

Daichi tightened his grip on Kaoru’s shoulder when the male stilled. Tilting his head a bit, he tried to look around to see Kaoru’s face, which with their positioning, was impossible unless Kaoru looked back or Daichi let go. “That’s not true… It you told me you didn’t want to talk to Rui, I wouldn’t force you… I’d try to convince you to change your mind because I think it’s important… but I’d never force you…” he said softly. Daichi looked over at Hana when Kaoru mentioned her. Maybe having his mother threaten Hana would result in a positive? Kaoru seemed to agree that hurting Hana was wrong, so maybe they could extend that line of thinking to cover Kaoru himself. The taller male rubbed his hand along Kaoru’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. But it obviously wasn’t working as he heard Kaoru’s voice start to break.

Daichi froze a bit when Kaoru went back to his degradation of himself, saying he wasn’t worthy to be his life partner… that Daichi deserved someone better… well, at least Kaoru wasn’t saying wife anymore… But… Daichi perfect, he wasn’t whole either… he too was broken… how could he get Kaoru to see that? Maybe… “Kaoru…” He paused as Kaoru tried to take back his words and returned to the quiet place they were before Daichi had spoken up. He shook his head a bit a pulled Kaoru in closer to his chest, wrapping his other hand around him. He held the mug out so it would rest against Kaoru’s shoulder. He placed his chin against the side of Kaoru’s head as he tried to get the courage to talk about something he didn’t like talking about. “I’m broken too Kaoru…” his voice was soft. “I… I started to play the violin when I was a child…” he paused again and closed his eyes a moment. “I had a private tutor… and he held my lessons at his house… and at first, it was innocent… holding my hand for too long, standing too close to fix my posture… but as I got older… it got less innocent.” He took a breath and opened his eyes again, looking at the dawning sky. “He molested me… raped me…” The words fell like a rock in the silent morning air… he felt sick saying those words out loud. “Mother found out and immediately stopped my lesions… his life was over when she was done with him… and that’s when I met Rui for the first time…” he relaxed his grip when he realized he had been holding Kaoru too tight. “He tried to get me to talk about it… but instead, I turned to anger…It was easier than dealing with everything else...” He frowned softly. “I didn’t want to be forced to marry anyone because I felt like I would be forcing someone into the same situation I had been in…” He sighed, his breath catching as he felt the urge to cry. “So I’m not perfect… I still haven’t really dealt with my own problems… and they have ruined relationships throughout my life… I’m not perfect… I don’t need someone who is perfect…” He said softly, as he pressed his cheek into Kaoru’s head. Damn it… he was crying.