|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 3:27 pm
”I, um... forgot to mention; Leonard's back.”
The change in topic was rather abrupt, its mood switching on a dime. There was a new expression on Ethiriel's face – one that Cruz wouldn't have recognized: irritation. She knew Leo was trying, she really did, but the man fell short on all of his attempts and it only served to make each time they hung out worse. It didn't help that he would invite himself without question to every little thing she and Henry tried to do. At this point, the Sigel wasn't sure she could take it anymore.
In the brief silence that followed Ethiriel's statement, Tango and Nedhudir huffed playfully on the other side of the room. Their nails clacked against the wood floor of the Gambino apartment as they batted about one of Tango's toys.
”O-oh?” Cruz faltered. His smile hung lopsided until it fell completely. Their previous topics had been light, pleasant, and idle banter, it surprised him to know but it surprised him that Ethiriel recalled something so negative among their prior discussions. ”How's, uh... that going?”
For a moment, Ethiriel's eyes wandered to the side, a small huff escaping her chest. She was silent, as if thinking, until she bowed her head a tad. The tea Raevan scoffed. ”It is...” a sigh. ”He wants to make up for what he did.”
A small sound of relief left Cruz's throat. He hesitated, however, as Ethiriel's tone did not match that news. ”I– that's a good thing... right?”
Glancing to her friend, Ethiriel hesitated as well. In a way it was good, but... ”Well... He... He is not doing a good job. He is trying, he really is, but...” Her voice trailed off as she brought a hand up to meet her chin and lightly cup her mouth. To be honest, she had sometimes fantasized about this happening, and part of her had always wanted it, but she was far more bitter than she could have ever realized without it actually happening. ”I do not think it is working.”
Cruz murmured softly, almost a whimper as he dipped his head. That wasn't the answer he was hoping for, nor did it seem was it what Ethiriel wanted to be true – but it was. ”I'm sorry... um,” his claws gently raked back his bangs, ”what's he been doing?”
”He just... speaks of himself and does not try to get to know me. It is like he wants me to become impressed with who he has become rather than trying to form a new relationship. I do not think I would mind so much if he would...”
If he'd try to get to know who she'd become.
At first Cruz nodded, then followed up with another murmur. He waited for Ethiriel to continue but, when she didn't, he spoke; ”That's no good.” He frowned and set his chin into his palm. The dogs still shuffled, occasionally making playful growls, but were otherwise on good behavior.
”Mm... Did you try to tell him that? Or– hm...” the croc's voice softened and trailed off, momentarily aimless.
Moving her hand from her mouth to cover her eyes and sigh, Ethiriel was just as aimless. She shook her head before responding. ”I do not know how to say it. Normally I am rather strong with my words but he... he frustrates me so and all I can think to do is shut him down. It is terrible of me, but what do I do?”
”No, hey, it's– it's not terrible... Talking's hard.” He closed his eyes, took a breath, then sighed. ”Really hard, sometimes... but, if it's making you sad then he needs to know. Maybe...” After a slight pause, Cruz's tone gained more purpose, ”maybe if he's just talking about himself, you could do that too? Tell him about all of the good stuff that's happened.”
A small smile pulled at Cruz's lips. He reached over to offer a supporting hand against Ethiriel's forearm. ”Nothing's been perfect but there's been a lot of good things for you since he left, right? A lot of new friends. A new family. He should know about 'em. He should know they're good for you. They're worth talking about...” There was a slight wavering in his voice and touch, an uncertainty surrounding his own advice, but the sentiment was true; as far as Cruz could see, Ethiriel was in a far better situation than when they first met and it deserved acknowledgment, especially from the person who – for better or worse – facilitated it.
While her eyes were still covered, a small smile pulled at her lips that Cruz could easily see as she exhaled softly through her nose. With his hand on her arm, she moved her own down to meet his and offered him a vague glance. ”It would help if he would stop inviting himself to every little thing Henry or I try to do. I do believe that is what gets to me most. I have met self centered people in the past, but if I may examine myself... I think it is my experience and lingering anger towards him that blinds me? I need to move past it, but he makes it so very difficult,” Ethiriel said with a gentle laugh, listening contently to the dogs playing not far away.
”At first I was hesitant to mention the good things that have happened... Deep down, I did not want to gloat about how much better my life has become since he left me. I do not know why... Perhaps it would feel like bragging? Not that it has stopped him, I suppose.” The Sigel then paused in thought, her fingers lightly tracing over Cruz's hand as it rested lightly over her thin sleeve. ”I must agree with you, however. It is a very good suggestion. Thank you.”
Cruz nodded slowly, his other hand coming to rest against his lips in thought and to keep himself quiet. It was rare Ethiriel became so wordy, especially about things that bothered her, and he didn't want to interrupt her train of thought. He was a little at a loss with regard to Leo's behavior; from his own perspective, he never minded more company – the more the merrier, in his book – but he knew others did not always feel that way and the first person that sprang to mind who was also keen to have her privacy with individual friends was Anita. They were far from identical, but there was indeed some overlap in their social preferences that couldn't be ignored.
”I think Nita would get annoyed with him, too,” Cruz hung his head a little as a small chuckle slipped out, ”even without the history.” He had to look at things from his guardian's perspective to understand Ethiriel's grievances, but that didn't make them any less valid. ”What, um– what kindsa things does he talk about?” The croc hesitated. ”If that's okay to ask...”
Ethiriel appreciated Cruz's courtesy – it was, indeed, rather rare for her to spiel like that, but lately she found herself more willing to talk than she had once upon a time, so long as it was invited.
”He mostly speaks of his work and how well off he is,” she said, resentment growing in her chest. ”I suppose he is only trying to share his wealth, but it feels as if he is gloating about how much better off he is now that I am out of the picture. It makes me wonder just why he has come back in the first place.”
Cruz frowned. He supposed he wouldn't have made the same connection Ethiriel did of Leo's motivations, but then he didn't know Leo very well to begin with and had none of the experiences Ethiriel did with the man. ”Well,” he began hesitantly as he tried to sift through a well of helpful advice given to him by Anita, Minerva, and numerous others, ”maybe you should just ask? Ask what he really wants to do here, since, y'know... if he came here to reconnect with you and he's... kinda not really doing that, then maybe he should know it's not working.”
Falling silent in thought, after a moment Ethiriel finally exhaled softly. She had, had that exact thought previously, but the guilt in not giving the man a chance kept nagging in the back of her mind. Part of her wanted things to be fine, but the longer this kept up, the less it seemed likely to happen.
The tea Raevan nodded.
Ethiriel crossed her arms and held them, offering a small smile to Cruz. ”I believe that is the best action. It is just a matter of finding the opportunity, I suppose. Will you be telling Anita of Leonard's presence...? He was... rather fond of her, and I would not blame her if she did not want to see him after he left without a trace.”
That was not a question Cruz expected; it gave the croc pause, one longer than those before. A small rumble sounded in his throat to let Ethiriel know he was merely thinking, rather than ignoring. It was quite a conundrum.
”Yeah, I know he liked her...” he mumbled, ”Don't really know how she felt about him. I mean – Nita'd probably be happy he's at least, like... around,” and not dead, ”but I dunno if she'd wanna see him or not.” Cruz scratched the back of his head idly. ”It's hard to remember but I don't think they were close or real good friends... and, I-I don't think she liked him the way he liked her.”
It was easier for him to see that now, with his own experience on the matter.
Another sound of thought issued from the reptilian raevan, though this one sounded closer to a whine. ”I dunno... Do you think she should?”
”If I am to be honest... no.”
It sounded far more harsh than Ethiriel meant it, but after a quick breath, she explained, ”If Leonard were to reach out and let her know, it would be one thing... but hearing only word of mouth, I feel as if that would be cruel to her, regardless of whether she felt the same for him or not.”
Cruz's eyes fluttered. The term 'cruel' in this instance felt strange but he couldn't quite find the words as to why. He agreed that Anita shouldn't be forced to reach out if she didn't want to – he had already put her in that position once before and the results were nearly catastrophic – but he wondered if even mentioning that Leo had reached out to Ethiriel would be an act of cruelty as she described. Ultimately, though, Ethiriel knew Leo better than he did and he left it at that.
”Okay,” Cruz nodded, affirming the decision to himself. ”What d'you think you're gonna do, then?” He tucked his lip between pointed teeth for a moment, then scratched his cheek. ”I mean... d'you even wanna talk to him?”
Lifting a finger to her chin, Ethiriel let out a light breath in thought, herself. ”If I am completely honest... no. I do not wish to speak with him. I just... do not know how to speak this to him.”
Cruz gave a low rumble of thought. It was tricky business, telling people things that they didn't want to hear. He had been in similar positions before, particularly with Iorek where they needed to set boundaries for each other and that discussion did not go as Cruz planned at all – but after it was done, even with his numerous mistakes in doing so, he maintained that it needed doing, just like Anita said.
His eyes lit with that passing thought. ”Ah--” Cruz turned to Ethiriel, his hands around her own tense but his voice carried a hopeful tone, ”When I'm really stuck on things like that, I talk to Anita. She's really good about being honest and figuring out how other people might look at things. Did you say anything to Henry about this stuff yet?”
In response, the silver Sigel gently squeezed Cruz's hands, brows lifted. After all that the two of them had been through, how was it that Henry was never Ethiriel's go-to with things like this? He had always proven himself knowledgeable, kind, willing to help, but for some reason she always considered her friends first – even if it was less convenient. For a brief moment, this train of thought distracted her from Cruz's question and a second long flash of concern over this was evident on her face, but the Raevan was quick to fix as she gently shook her head. ”I have not, but I should. Thank you for the suggestion, Cruz.”
She needed to talk to Henry more.
A look of concern mirrored Ethiriel's until it was replaced with something more assured. When she accepted the suggestion, relief washed over Cruz and he nodded firmly. ”Mhm,” the croc rumbled, ”I'm not really so good with this stuff... I, um–“ Cruz winced, ”I mess up a lot, talking to people. Nita's a lot better at it than me, so she usually knows what to do. But, if Nita's not sure, then I ask Minerva.” So that was the plan then, he figured; Ethiriel needed to tell Leo to stop, but she needed to seek council from her family first – it made perfect sense to him.
”If that is the case, then I shall seek the council of Henry's father after,” Ethiriel said with a gentle laugh – though Cruz didn't know Jonas, Ethiriel knew that he was an infinite fountain of wisdom within the Knight family, and while she didn't quite necessarily feel like 'family,' there was no doubt that he'd be willing to help with anything she needed. Surely Henry would be enough, but it was a tempting thought...
Squeezing the croc's fingers lightly, she smiled. ”Thank you, Cruz... It means so much.”
”Yeah.” Cruz nodded, feeling confident in this plan. Though there was still one point of confusion prickling at the mistletoe raevan which he felt needed addressing, he squeezed Ethiriel's fingers back and smiled all the same. ”Hey, Thiriel?” He winced again, just slightly, but he knew how to address this sort of thing now. ”You don't gotta answer if you don't wanna, but um– how come you didn't go to Henry before?” It felt strange, when every confusion that peppered Cruz's own life lead him to seeking answers in those immediately around him, those of his household, and yet his friend seemed to still keep her own guardian and family members at arm's length.
The same flicker of concern from earlier washed over Ethiriel's features and she clearly understood his point. She glanced down, tightening her grip on Cruz's hand as she searched for an answer she didn't quite know, herself. It wasn't that she didn't want to respond, she just... wasn't sure how. Why didn't she talk to Henry more? Why did she never think to reach out to him before anyone else? Wasn't that one of the reasons he was her guardian in the first place...? To help and to be there? He'd long proven himself to be reliable, and he was there because he wanted to be, so why? Was it because of Leo? Did she not fully trust her guardian? The Sigel opened her mouth to speak but nothing came other than a gentle exhale. It was clear that it bothered her, too.
And that told Cruz enough; it wasn't for him to know, whether she had an answer or not. ”Sorry,” he gently squeezed Ethiriel's hand, ”it's okay.” The croc leaned over to gently nudge her shoulder with his forehead. ”Y'wanna take the pups around outside a bit?”
Guilt coursed through Ethiriel's veins as she searched herself for the answer, but nothing was coming up at all and it only served to make her wonder more. Was this also something to talk to Henry about? Would he maybe understand something that she didn't?
With the squeeze of her hand and Cruz's gentle nudging against her shoulder, the silver Raevan popped back into reality and glanced in her friend's direction. The suggestion calmed her and Ethiriel sighed, brows knit but expression otherwise relaxing. ”Yes... I am sure that they would appreciate that.”
She had a lot of thinking to do.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 10:46 am
Cruz had made such a good point.
Why didn't she talk to her guardian about her problems? Or even Gabe? Clem or Jonas?
Anyone?
Her friends were who Ethiriel considered first, especially Cruz or Cesc, but with Cesc still missing the Sigel immediately turned to the only person she thought of. Cruz wasn't a second choice, per se; he was still her best friend, but there was a level that she and Rhedefre had reached where she felt they were on the same page most of the time. He wasn't there for advice.
What was it about Henry, though? Was he too childish? After all this time, did she still not feel quite as trusting as she should have been by now? What was keeping her from confiding in the man? The last time she said anything about heartache or pain, it was to comfort him over herself. Why couldn't she put her problems on his shoulders?
He had lost Candice, but that was long over and he seemed fine now. At least, on the outside he did.
Ethiriel still felt lost. She didn't feel as strong of a bond towards her guardian or his family as the other Raevans all seemed to. Was her past with Leo causing her not to trust him enough? Deep down, did she feel as if he would someday abandon her too?
And family...
Just what was family?
Most Raevans she'd met had mentioned a familial bond with their guardian or other people in their life, but Ethiriel still didn't understand. Why would a Raevan call someone their father? She never even considered Kyou her father despite being created by him. She was that: created. She had no father.
No brothers or sisters.
No family.
However, this didn't necessarily make her feel lonely or empty. It was just something she didn't understand. She didn't know if she ever would. Maybe it was something to talk to Henry about someday. He seemed close to his family, maybe he could make her understand.
A gentle beep of a car horn was enough to pull Ethiriel from her thoughts as she hovered mindlessly at the porch. Leo had scheduled to meet up with her and take her to work that day... perhaps she would try Cruz's advice.
”Hey,” Leo said as he jumped out of the car to lead Ethiriel to her door, gently taking her hand – which she only barely offered. ”Got a long shift today? It's just volunteering, right?”
Without even glancing toward him, Ethiriel nodded. ”Henry will be able to pick me up.”
That was enough to put Leo in an awkward spot of silence, hardly able to come up with a response for such a statement. Inwardly he shrugged and helped the Sigel into the car before climbing into his own seat and taking off.
”I got a new camera today.”
”I was able to finish a book I had been picking at for the last couple of days.”
It was Ethiriel's attempt at talking about herself, but she honestly felt like speaking of her own accomplishments was embarrassing and put her on the spot, so it was hard to think of anything. She wanted to try, though, to let him know how well she was doing without him.
”...Oh? That's good. I haven't read anything but the paper in a while.”
As if his topic had been glossed over, she continued, ”I believe I would like to start another. Though I do suppose I should focus more on my green house...”
This did interest Leo as he made a sound of consideration and approval. ”You have a green house? I'm glad you're into more physical activities, now.” Not that he ever knew of any in his short time with her as a Frei. Unfortunately, he attempted to turn the conversation back to himself.
To which Ethiriel shot him down.
She continued to speak of her green house, her time with Henry and Gabe, basically anything she could think of that would highlight how much better she was doing. It wasn't that Leo wasn't happy for her, albeit envious, but he didn't know how to talk about her anymore... not that he ever did in the first place. Anytime he tried to interject about himself, Ethiriel wouldn't let him.
In no time, they arrived at the hospital. Little did Ethiriel know that she'd be reuniting with an old friend.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 7:54 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:31 am
Had Ethiriel had a pair of legs, perhaps they would have been crossed at the knee as she laid back in a casually bored position. Instead, she sat upright with her hands folded gently in her ribbon lap, doing all that she could to seem at least somewhat interested in what Leo was saying.
The photographer had been around for maybe an hour with Henry having left perhaps half an hour before. As expected, he had been talking about himself with hardly a breath to get in edgewise.
Ethiriel had taken to pondering over other things, staring before her while Leo rambled about who knew what, something about lenses at this point, as she nodded along whenever it seemed appropriate to respond. Sometimes she would ping back into reality to attempt and be part of conversation, but with as little as she knew about the things the man would talk about, it was like talking to a wall that had their own agenda. The Sigel was bored and disinterested but still didn't quite know how to turn away.
How annoying.
With Henry's presence earlier, Gabe had little reason to engage with the visitor outside of making his presence known. When his brother left, the younger Knight stepped out just a few minutes after to assess the situation under the guise of retrieving a glass of water and, all the while, his door remained open to keep an ear out for any potential upset.
After nearly twenty minutes, he stepped out once again and passed by Ethiriel and Leo on his way to the kitchen. ”Do either of you want anything while I'm up?” he offered without pausing his step.
”Ah yes... water, please...” Ethiriel chimed quickly, glad to hear another voice even if it was just for a second.
Leo, on the other hand, barely stopped his barrage of words to decline. ”Nah. Thanks, though,” was as polite as he was going to get before returning to his speal about nothing of important to the other two. This was met with a light sigh from Ethiriel, hardly noticed by Leo.
One of Gabe's brows raised as it seemed Leo was barely giving himself time to breathe as he gushed about photography equipment to Ethiriel, but he moved past them into the kitchen just the same. He refilled his own glass and took up a mug for Ethiriel but, before he returned, Gabe paused at the threshold to listen for a moment.
Ethiriel's lack of engagement was more than obvious. Hell, it had been obvious since day one as far as Gabe was able to see. He stepped back and set their glasses on the island.
”Hey Eth, can you come in the kitchen for a second?” he called calmly.
Finally, Leo stopped babbling to stare at Gabe, then glance to Ethiriel. He didn't seem pleased with the interruption, but he didn't let his disappointment show even though the Sigel couldn't see him, anyway.
Perking, Ethiriel hovered off of the couch and nodded toward the younger Knight. She seemed exhausted with the situation and rather glad for the ability to get away. ”One moment, Leonard,” she said politely, nodding at him before making her way to the kitchen. She sighed once it was just the two of them, but she didn't make it any more obvious than that.
”Yes, Gabe?”
He waited in silence until Ethiriel was fully inside, then lowered his voice enough to suggest she should do the same. ”What are you doing?”
Whatever light was in Ethiriel's eyes managed to dim in that moment, and her discomfort was clear on her face. She visibly deflated before bringing a hand to her face. ”...I suppose I am dealing with him,” she said plainly. How else was she to do it?
Confusion was clear in the brief huff that Gabe took, as well as the question that followed. ”Do you want him here or not? Because it really doesn't seem like you do.”
”Well...” Ethiriel said softly, covering her mouth with her palm and glancing away. ”If I may be completely honest... no. I do not.” Her hand ran up her face and through her loose hair, avoiding her branches with practiced ease. ”But it would be rude of me to toss him out, would it not?”
Gabe let out a measured sigh as he rubbed his eyes. ”Eth – he's only here because someone said he could be. I wasn't here for that, so you have to help me: did you tell him you were fine with this or did Henry set it up?”
”I, er... well...” the Sigel stammered, composure wavering as she was put in a corner. ”Henry asked and I suppose I agreed, but...” she didn't think he'd stay this long, or even after Henry left, but here he was. Again, Ethiriel ran a hand through her hair before locking eyes with Gabe's necklace. ”I do not think I would like for this to go on any longer...”
She was tired and she was done.
The silence that followed only lasted for a short beat. It was cut by a response that sounded far less tense, even in its carefully lowered volume. ”Okay.” Gabe took a breath that almost sounded relieved as he leaned his back against the sink, still facing Ethiriel. ”Thank you for giving me a straight answer.”
He paused then, but only briefly. ”If you don't want him here, then you need to tell him to leave. I am right here if you need help but, I have to be honest, you do this kind of thing to yourself a lot and you need to practice. You have to stop putting yourself into these kinds of positions because you think you might be rude.” Gabe kept his voice even and hushed, intent not to let a single syllable be heard by Leo in the other room.
Ethiriel nodded in acknowledgment, both to his suggestion and his thanks. She pushed her lips against her teeth lightly with a thumb, her eyes drifting idly from the silver hanging from Gabe's neck. ”I understand.”
Meanwhile, Leo curiously leaned from his seat to see if he could catch a glimpse of either of them before chiming in; ”Everything okay?”
The Sigel's brows twitched at the question and it was clear how irritated she was. ”We are fine, Leonard. Just one moment longer.” She then turned back to Gabe and nodded again. ”But what do I say?”
His own brows furrowed at Leo's interjection. Gabe stared at the wall where he presumed the man was in the other room and frowned, arms folded. ”Whatever you want to say. Tell him it's not working out. Tell him you made a mistake. Just tell him the truth.”
With Ethiriel's excellent hearing, Leo's shifting in the other room was enough for her to clench her fists and nod. This was it, this was the end. She couldn't deal with this anymore and it needed to stop. Even just a change of position was enough to annoy her and she couldn't even see it.
Straightening her posture, without even turning to the living room, Ethiriel called out, ”Leonard. Would you come here, please?”
All too eager to be part of the conversation, Leo hopped up and quickly made his way into the kitchen. There stood Gabe and Ethiriel, both with their own drinks, and he couldn't help but quick a brow at their serious expressions – especially the Raevan's. ”Yeah?”
Ethiriel lifted her chin, trying to keep her air of strength. ”Leonard, I believe it is time for you to leave.”
”...What?” he asked, perplexed.
”I do not suppose you agree, but I do not see that this is working out. I have tried... and I cannot do this any longer. You do nothing but speak of yourself; you do not ask anything about me, or my family or friends.”
Family...
Faltering for just a moment, she caught her composure and continued. ”You only care for yourself, and I can only assume that your want of me to accept your apology is strictly so you can feel better about yourself. I am not here to offer that service. I am here to live my life.”
Only able to stare dumbly, Leo glanced to Gabe as if he would have sympathy.
There was none to be had.
Gabe stared quietly at the raevan as she spoke, then allowed his eyes to drift to Leo as she faltered. When the man seemed stunned to silence, Gabe simply asked, ”Did you hear her?”
Brows furrowed now, Leo looked between them as if his whole family had been offended. He let out a light scoff, straightening himself despite the want to cave in on himself. ”I... yeah, but...” he stumbled on his words, hardly able to argue with his former ward.
”Please, Leonard... just... just leave.”
With this he stiffened, the weight of the situation finally setting in. He could tell that both of them were serious, and without another word or sign of acknowledgment, the photographer turned to gather his things. He hadn't brought much, so within five minutes he was out of the door without so much as a goodbye.
Still hovering in the kitchen, Ethiriel trembled as the stress and worry both seemed to dissipate and grow all at once, but Leo was finally out of her hair. She should have been happy or at least relieved, but guilt set in like a weight on her chest. Unable to make contact with Gabe's necklace, she stared vaguely towards the living room in silence.
Gabe had lingered nearby all the while as Leo packed his things, just in case things turned sour. It was almost a pleasant surprise that the former guardian hadn't even bothered to defend himself, but the pathetic way he slumped out of the house put a worse taste in Gabe's mouth.
He allowed Ethiriel a few moments of quiet as she gathered her thoughts but it didn't take close observation to see that she seemed a bit lost in the aftermath. With a clear of his throat, Gabe called her attention back.
”So,” he offered in his usual manner – a quiet bridge for conversation.
Perking back, Ethiriel met Gabe with shock – she had been surprised by her own strength and words, but everything sat so... strangely, and she couldn't comprehend why. Attempting a smile, she scoffed and lightly tugged at a length of hair. ”I, um... Thank you, Gabe, for helping me. I do not know why it took me so long...”
”I do,” Gabe glanced in the direction of the front door, ”if he's anything to go by.” As much as he knew Ethiriel wouldn't like to hear, it seemed to him that she and the man did in fact have quite a lot in common, at least when it came to handling negative confrontation. If he was who raised Ethiriel first then Leo had both instilled quite a lot of bad habits and did nothing to encourage the raevan's voice. ”It's better to get these things over with. There's no point in making yourself suffer because you want to play nice – especially not when the person you're trying to play nice with is making you miserable.”
Gabe was right, just like he always seemed to be. Ethiriel nodded; it was hard to ignore when it was laid out in front of you. She had been a doormat for too long, and it was time for a change.
For what felt like the first time in so long, the Sigel offered the younger Knight a smile. She reached forward and gently rested a hand on his shoulder for just a brief moment before removing it entirely to fold before her ribbon. ”I will try my best to cease that.”
”Good.” What tension was left from the serious discussion seemed to dissipate from him. Without missing a beat, Gabe added, ”Tell him 'no' next time,” in a tone that threatened to border on lighthearted.
”After that performance, I do not believe there will be a 'next time,'” Ethiriel scoffed, raising a brow at Gabe.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:31 am
So... that was it. That was the end of it. Leo was finally out of her hair and Ethiriel could move on with her life without the daily reminder of his betrayal.
She should be... happy... right? Why was there a subtle nagging deep down inside? She had done what was right for herself and those closest to her, right? Leo had been selfish and self serving, seemingly trying to rub his success in her face, right? This was for the better and, in the end, things would return to normal...
...right?
Sitting at the edge of her bed, Ethiriel had allowed Nedhudir to hop up and curl into a ball at the end, sleeping peacefully as she idly stroked the silky fur at his collar. Since Leo's interference, the poor Collie had been mostly neglected by the Sigel when she was snatched away from home every other day. Now it was time for spoiling, in her mind, so bedtime snuggles it was. Ethiriel didn't mind the extra warmth – despite spring coming, it was still rather chilly at night.
Still... why was it bothering her?
And then there was "family." What on Earth possessed her to say that...? Never once had she considered herself to have a family, yet out of the blue it was stated defensively. It was something Ethiriel needed to discuss with Henry without a doubt, but now with it floating around in her mind, perhaps it would be better to bring up sooner than later. It still felt like such a foreign word when describing her relationships; would it make sense someday?
Tucking herself into bed, closer to the end to be near her beloved Nedhudir, Ethiriel mentally shrugged for the time being and tried to shoo off the thought. Things would get better, things would improve. There was now time for herself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed May 03, 2017 10:28 pm
After Leo was gone, things returned to relative calm. There was less agitation present in the house from all occupants and even Nedhudir seemed more content now that Ethiriel was paying attention to him once again. The situation had been explained to Henry from both ends – that Ethiriel had in fact not desired to give her previous guardian a second chance and, with Gabe's assistance, found the strength in herself to tell Leo how she really felt.
From there, the days had been quiet; it was a blessing where they could all catch their breath and let their thoughts rest. The increasingly balmy weather of a fast approaching spring season made walks all the more tempting and rewarding. With the specter of Leo gone from their home, even the plants in the green house seemed revitalized.
Ethiriel had gone back to keeping her mind preoccupied with books during her time off – a little moreso than usual. She had a lot on her mind; how she had treated Leo, this whole “family” thing... it swirled around endlessly in her head. The Sigel didn't like being confused at all. She liked to have things figured out and taken care of, but here she was, unable to focus on anything. The poor thing couldn't even keep focused on what she was listening to.
Meanwhile, Henry had kept himself busy between making sure Ethiriel was okay and keeping up with work. He had noticed that she'd been a bit airy; it concerned him as she usually wasn't this out of touch. That morning, the nurse decided to check in on Gabe. Giving two solid knocks, he spoke, ”Gabe? Everyting alright?”
There was a slight delay in response from his brother, the muffled sound of his keyboard rising as he finished up some line of something before the chair squeaked. Gabe opened the door with a raised eyebrow at Henry. ”Yeah, why?” At a glance, everything appeared to be fine.
The older brother gave a shrug with no hint of worry in his expression. ”No reason. Just wanted to check up since we haven't talked much since Leo left.”
Gabe shrugged, conceding that point. After Leo left, as reliving as it was, there was an odd feeling as though he might return. Thankfully, there hadn't bee any sign of him since Ethiriel put her proverbial foot down.
”Yeah, I'm fine.” He glanced back into the room, at the computer for a moment, then scoffed. ”Kind of better than, actually. What about you? And--” Gabe pointed in the direction of Ethiriel's room.
Henry's face lit up at Gabe's statement, beyond excited that his brother was doing well. Better than well! Without a thought, he gave a thumb's up. ”That's great news! Definitely something I like to hear!” Eyes following the younger Knight's finger, Henry's brows rose and pursed his lips. ”Well... I'm doing alright! Ethiriel seems... really distracted lately. I wish she'd talk to me more.”
Of course, Henry, you needed to reach out too.
”Right.” Gabe glanced down the hall toward her bedroom. ”Actually, your timing's as good as any. I wanted to talk to you both but I was waiting for that bullshit to settle.”
”Both?” Henry asked curiously, passing a glance to Ethiriel's room once more. Interest piqued, he continued, ”Should I go get her?”
”It's nothing bad,” he prefaced with a calm wave, ”There's no rush, but if she's doing the reclusive thing again you might as well.”
Agreeing with Gabe's point, Henry figured it was best to get Ethiriel out of her room regardless. He held up a finger to his brother before trotting a few steps down the hall to the Sigel's door and knocked, waiting for a soft ”enter” before doing so.
”Hey, Ethiriel? Gabe wants to talk to us about something. Are you at a stopping point?”
Ethiriel shrugged and set her walkman aside, pushing herself off the bed. ”It is already paused, so I suppose so.” Again, she sounded distracted and distant – even though Henry had no clue otherwise, it wasn't about him or Gabe... necessarily. ”Is everything alright?”
Placing his hand softly on the Raevan's shoulder, Henry began leading her towards his brother's room. ”He says yes, so we can only assume.”
The two made their way to Gabe and stopped just before his door, Henry smiling expectantly. Ethiriel still appeared off and daydreamy.
”So... what's up?”
”So,” Gabe started as Henry left off. He pushed his chair away from the desk as he remained seated, and slid into full view of the doorway. ”I didn't say anything because a bunch of s**t was going on – and, to be completely honest, I didn't want to jinx it – but I got a job.”
In the time since Gabe had moved in with them, finding employment had been his major motivation. He had gone through countless application processes and interviews, many without a single callback or word of confirmation, but some had managed to pan out – if only briefly. The longest was a stint at an electronics store in Gambino mall the previous summer, as short-lived as seasonal work.
”A good job,” he stressed.
Henry beamed for his brother, hardly able to contain his excitement – he almost could have even bounced where he stood if it weren't for Ethiriel looped in his arm. ”Gabe! Wow, that's great! I'm so happy for you, man!”
Concerning a discussion with Lazarus not too long ago, Ethiriel couldn't place her emotions. So Gabe now had a job? That was great news! Yet still... where did that leave her? Would she be able to work someday? Regardless, ”That is wonderful news, Gabe! We are happy for you...” she said, trying to sound convincing despite the lilt in her voice, causing her guardian to pass a sideways glance at her.
Gabe, likewise, paused to look at Ethiriel when she gave her less than convincing congratulations. ”Yeah,” he cleared his throat and spoke more succinctly, so as not to linger on the topic, ”Well, a good job means I'll be out of your hair soon. I'm looking at a place.”
The excitement on Henry's face, as well as the melancholy on Ethiriel's, dropped to surprise and unpleasant shock. The nurse, definitely taken aback by the news, immediately shot his stare to Gabe with furrowed brows but no anger – just surprise. ”You're...?”
Ethiriel slowly let go of Henry's arm and stared forward in confusion. It didn't feel right. Gabe leaving didn't feel right at all. It felt like he was meant to be there, with them, and he was leaving? She glanced to the silver hanging from the younger Knight's neck timidly, hurt in her eyes.
”That's... that's great! You deserve your own space! I'm sure living with your brother and his... er... well, I can't really compare Eth to a child... but yeah. I know you've been feeling cooped up here!”
That statement only made Ethiriel feel more hollow as she tried to process what was happening. Why did she feel like he needed to stay...?
Suffice to say, neither of their reactions seemed to be what Gabe had anticipated and showed by the recline of his seat and the confused crease of his brows. He sat silent for a few moments, assessing them both, then pressed his knuckles against his mouth and leaned against his hand.
”So that's bad news?”
Henry reached up to scratch at his hairline, letting out a soft breath. ”Not bad, just... I mean, I don't know about Eth but I like you here. My opinion on it doesn't matter, though! If you're ready to leave then I fully support you!”
Had Gabe been staring at her, it would have been apparent that Ethiriel sunk just a little lower than her normal floating height. ”No, it... it is good. You must live for you. I also support you in your endeavor.” Every part of her screamed to go back to her room and distract herself with a book, music, anything. With everything churning in her head, it was hard to think about this and her rune thrummed uncomfortably. Even when she tried to smile, it didn't feel correct.
There was a healthy amount of skepticism in Gabe's eyes at his brother's response but, for Ethiriel, all he could do was huff while he gathered his thoughts. He gestured vaguely with his hand and shifted in the chair, to stop looking directly at them. ”Nothing's set in stone yet, but if I get the place I'm looking at then I'll only be ten minutes away. I'm not dropping off the face of the earth.” He shrugged, feeling very much like he was missing something in this conversation for it to have curved so far sideways.
Ethiriel glanced away to idly press her thumbnail against her lip. This wasn't news she was expecting to hear in the slightest, and with everything else, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't pinpoint this feeling at all. He wasn't supposed to leave. He was here.
He was... was he... family...?
There was a slight relief in the distance suggested, but it still hurt that he would just up and leave. It was as if some part of her had either forgotten or locked away that fact from him first agreeing to move in, or perhaps it wasn't discussed with her around. Ethiriel didn't think that this was an impermanent deal, and she had grown very attached to having Gabe around.
Why did this all have to happen right now? Why was Gabe leaving like Leo did?
Except he wasn't. He'd still be around, just ten minutes away like he said, but it felt as if Ethiriel was being left again like some dog. Henry would still be around, he wasn't leaving her, but the Sigel had grown very fond of Gabe... what would she do without him around when she needed him?
”Eth... Eth, are you okay?” Henry said, now facing her fully with his arms out protectively.
Without realizing, she had sunk even further in her thoughts – her eyes had watered but not spilled over. It was clear that there was something wrong with the situation, and now she regretted her reaction.
Dammit...
Ethiriel quickly looked forward, snapping to attention as she realized where she was and what was happening. She looked to Gabe's necklace again and allowed its presence to remind her that he hadn't left yet and she sobered up. ”Y-yes... I am sorry. Gabe, I regret my actions. We are indeed happy for you, I was just... taken by surprise.”
This time it was Henry that looked skeptical.
The disbelief that hung in the brother's mutual silence was palpable. Gabe glanced to Henry, brows furrowed in some mix of confusion and discomfort, and let their brief eye contact speak for itself among them; this was not at all the reception he had prepared for, not even close to the reaction he expected to gain, and no way he could have foreseen it.
”Okay,” Gabe started quietly, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, ”That was all I had to say – and I seem to have picked a bad time to say it.” He rose from the computer chair, lingering for just a moment before he approached the doorway and moved past Henry and Ethiriel, toward the kitchen. ”I need some coffee. Excuse me.”
Visibly wincing, Ethiriel hovered to the side at Gabe's approach and so did Henry. As a knee-jerk reaction, she reached out clumsily for his sleeve and clung tight, causing just as much confusion for her guardian. ”...May we speak later?”
Henry's heart sunk – she'd never asked to pull him aside to talk about anything.
Gabe paused, looking no less disquieted. ”Yes?” He slipped his arm away from Ethiriel's grasp with no sense of urgency. ”Later.” When they all had a moment to breathe – but her especially.
At the feeling of him shrugging away, Ethiriel obliged and loosened her grip. She nodded, running a hand through her hair as her silver pulled away before nodding again to Henry. ”I... believe I would like to continue my book. I apologize.”
”It's... it's okay.” Henry stammered, looking lost between the two of them. ”You know, I'm... always here to talk, too.”
To that, Ethiriel paused at her door and hovered silently. The pit in her stomach grew at that comment and she could feel the wetness in her eyes threaten to pool over. ”Thank you,” was all she could say, her voice soft as she entered her room and gently shut the door.
Slowly approaching her bed, the Sigel hesitated a moment before dropping herself onto the soft fabrics to bury beneath them. What exactly had she gotten herself into now? Why did this family concept have to be so hard? Why couldn't she grasp it? What even was it? In frustration, she let out a stifled sob. Nedhudir hopped onto the bed and curled up beside her.
Why was this so confusing?
Ethiriel hated it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 04, 2017 1:23 pm
Ethiriel wasn't sure how much time had passed since the 'incident,' trying to figure everything out on her own despite not quite understanding. There was so much to this and she needed a lot of help if she were to ever get a better grasp of it, and maybe talking to Gabe would help. He had a family, he knew what it felt like and could explain more than she could ever imagine. However late it was, she needed to talk to him before it was too late.
After a seemingly agonizing trek, the Sigel found herself outside of Gabe's door, her fist hovering just an inch or so from the wood. Again, she felt a nervousness that did little to ease her, but eventually Ethiriel found the strength to knock, even if softly.
Thankfully, it did not seem to be quite as late as it felt. The door opened carefully, mindful of the time but with no sluggishness or delay that suggested sleep was nearing. ”Yeah?” Gabe asked and greeted Ethiriel with a faint caution.
She felt as if her heart would stop at the intently opened door, freezing in place. She didn't know how to talk about this at all. Ethiriel softly ran a hand through her hair and tried to smile. ”I... am lost. I need help.” she said, carefully glancing at Gabe's necklace.
Where Ethiriel forced a smile, Gabe did not. He frowned at the attempt, how it contrasted terribly with her words, but after a moment he stepped aside and opened the door further. ”What's going on?”
The sound of the door opening and the light amount of wind resistance it caused alerted Ethiriel to the change, and she hesitated only for a moment before floating in with her hands clasped before her chest. How to say it, how to say it... ”I... I do not understand family. Everyone speaks of it and feels it, other Raevans, but... it was never a concept that made sense to me. I feel strongly against you leaving... does... that mean I see you as family? Why do I want you to stay here?”
He listened, stood there quietly until she finished – and even for a few seconds after. Gabe sighed and stepped further away, opening the rest of the room to Ethiriel. ”Maybe you should sit,” he suggested as he took up the computer chair himself.
When Ethiriel was comfortable on the edge of the bed, Gabe continued. ”Listen. You're asking me to read your mind. I can't. I can't tell you why you're struggling with that concept or whether that affects your opinion of me or anyone else, because I don't know.” The chair creaked slightly as he leaned back. ”Maybe you don't want me to leave because you do see me as family. Maybe you like having me around to talk to. I don't know. I can't figure that out for you.”
The Sigel deflated as Gabe spoke, almost disappointed in his answer – but more so in herself. She had hoped someone would have been able to help her figure it out, but apparently it was something she would have to learn on her own.
”Here's what I do know.” Gabe adjusted against the seat. ”I have been living here for three years and I have been trying to get a job even half as good as what I ended up with so that I could save up enough money to live on my own again. I know that things have changed since I first got here. I know that, when I do move – not if, when – that I'll still be in Gambino. I know my changing locations won't affect our ability to speak, or visit, or anything else. I know that, whether it's a concept you understand or not, you are a part of this family and I know that living apart from family hasn't bothered you in relation to our parents or your friends.” He took a breath, in search of words before he left the floor open for Ethiriel to respond. ”So what I don't understand – what I'm struggling with, here – is why both of you are so surprised that this is happening when that has been my goal from day one.”
”I...” Ethiriel started, soaking in the points he made. She never once thought about being parted from her friends or the Knight parents, but for the life of her... ”I... cannot remember. I do not know if your leaving was ever discussed with me. I do not remember...”
Again, her disappointment was clear in her voice, but it wasn't with Gabe.
Sighing, she gently cupped her cheek with a hand. ”I apologize for how I acted. I do not know why it came as such a shock...”
”It was,” Gabe assured.
A lot of time had passed since then, certainly – even if there had been no round table discussion to lay out exact parameters, it was impossible for there to have been no mention of it between the three of them.
”But listen – I don't know what has you messed up about family. That's something you need to evaluate for yourself. No one else can do that for you. They can listen and they can speculate, but that's all. If you need someone to talk to while you figure it out, we're here for that – just don't expect anyone else to have the answer.”
”Right...” Ethiriel sighed again. What was it with Gabe always (at least usually) being right? She offered him a more genuine smile, though it was tired, as she lifted herself up from his bed and bowed absentmindedly. ”I will... figure it out eventually. That is part of 'growing up,' correct?”
”Exactly.”
As Ethiriel raised from her perch, Gabe stood in kind. He moved to the door, holding it open for her and acting as a beacon with the silver around his neck. ”Let me know when you have the answer.”
Letting out a soft chuckle, Ethiriel said, ”You will be the first to know.”
Once she exited Gabe's room, the Sigel hovered in her spot for a brief moment to ponder. She was going to need to figure this out on her own mostly... but she still needed the insight of other people. She couldn't fully understand – she needed a breakdown of the concept and others to explain enough for her to grasp it. She knew she couldn't do that alone, even with all of her books.
It was then that Henry poked his head out from his room looking curiously at his ward. He stood for a moment, waiting as the Raevan returned to her room and shut the door behind herself. The nurse paused for a moment before quietly crossing the hall to approach Gabe's room, still open.
”...Gabe?” he asked just out of sight, not wanting to be rude without some sort of signal that he was there. ”Everything okay...?”
His bedroom door had barely been closed before he pulled it open again and stepped into view. Gabe stood there a moment before he shrugged his shoulders and gestured for Henry to approach. He moved away from the door and turned on the desk lamp, then closed the door quietly behind his brother once he was inside.
”You tell me.”
Henry sighed in exasperation, sadly looking at his brother. ”I dunno. She never comes to me with problems and I don't know why.”
”I don't know either, Henry. I don't know why she started crying earlier, I don't know why you acted so surprised–“ Gabe sat back into the computer chair and rubbed his eyes. He sounded more tired than angry, exasperated like his brother but resigned to their current line of discussion. ”She said she doesn't understand what 'family' means. That's what she wanted to talk about.”
”I dunno man, I just... got used to you being here and time flew by, it just seemed sudden is all. I fully support you leaving, don't get me wrong. Just a matter of change in routine.” When Gabe mentioned family, he couldn't help but look over towards Eth's bedroom with lifted brows. Then why... why couldn't she discuss it with him? He was her guardian after all. ”What'd you say....?”
Gabe stared blankly at his brother from his seat until the question finally came. ”I told her I can't figure out what she's feeling for her and she needs to sort it out herself.” He gestured with a hand, in the vague direction of Ethiriel's room. ”Obviously we're both available if she needs anything. You're her guardian, she's your daughter, she has grandparents–“ Gabe pinched the brdge of his nose, ”–I guess that makes me an uncle, now. But something's not clicking there for her and I can't sit here picking her brain apart to figure out why on her behalf.”
Much like Ethiriel had never considered him a father, Henry never really considered Ethriel as his daughter and hearing it out of Gabe's mouth sounded strange. He wasn't opposed to the idea and he obviously knew the concept of family, but with his eyes still towards the Sigel's room he could only imagine. ”Yeah, that's... not your job. It's mine.”
Henry had considered asking for fewer hours, but as a nurse it almost seemed impossible. He wanted more time with Ethiriel, he wanted to bond with her and show her that he was here for her, that he would do anything if she needed it, but maybe he was working too much for her to feel that way? Did he need to make some changes other than stepping up to speak to his ward whenever something seemed off? The man lifted a hand to idly rub at his chin and mouth, considering.
”I'll talk to her. She seems to want to be alone tonight, but I'll talk to her.”
Gabe folded his hands, brows furrowed toward Henry. He waited for his brother to say anything more and, when he didn't, Gabe took the initiative. ”It's not anyone's job to tell her how she feels. By all means, talk to her – you should talk to her – but she can't expect any one of us to magically have the right answer about her thoughts and feelings.”
Shaking his head, Henry finally looked back to his brother. ”I don't want to tell her how she feels, I want to have a discussion with her. If she doesn't understand family, I want to try and help. I want her to know that I'm not just in the background.”
”Yeah, well, she seems to want us to have the answer for her. That's why I said that.” Gabe glanced away from Henry, turned his head to stare at the door and propped his chin against his knuckles. ”But good. I'm not here to be a middleman between you two. Feel free to discuss why that happened, while you're at it.”
”Yeah, I'm really not sure how that 'job' landed on you in the first place. I'm gonna consider some changes within the household. Got a lot to think about when it comes to our family.” The older Knight smiled at his brother before nodding his head towards his own room. ”I'm gonna finish some paperwork. Gonna take Eth to the bookstore tomorrow, I'll talk to her then.”
Gabe nodded as he stood. ”Alright. I'll keep you updated, so–“ he hoped they would do the same.
With a nod, Henry confirmed Gabe's hopes. He waved when his brother stood and headed for the door. ”Goodnight, 'bro.'” he said, doing Gabe a favor by shutting his door for him. For the rest of the night he worked until late and slept.
Hopefully tomorrow would put Ethiriel in a better mood.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 04, 2017 1:25 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 9:24 pm
i'm gonna hate myself for making a reserve post but here's where solo goes for henry and eth discussion woop wooop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 9:25 pm
[x]After receiving a call from a new guardian-to-be, Henry goes out to lunch with Dani to find out that they once went to school together. She sought advice for what to do next and he answered to the best of his ability.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 9:26 pm
E Tu?After so long of hearing nothing, will Aadhira answer Ethiriel's call?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 9:05 pm
"We need to leave," Henry said, his voice rough and hurried.
Ethiriel felt as if she had cotton in her ears. "Wh- I... why?"
In the next moment, she could feel the former nurse's hands at her arms, holding delicately despite their size. His breath was hot against her ear and neck, sending fearful chills down her spine.
"I don't have time to explain, but we need to go. Now. I promise I'll tell you when we're gone."
It felt unusually cold outside, uncharacteristic for summer -- even in the early morning. Ethiriel couldn't think straight, having been woken up so abruptly with no proper explanation. The Sigel was told what was being packed, being very little, and that they needed to move fast.
Whatever it was, she didn't even have time to say goodbye as her phone was seized.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
