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 Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:06 am
 ((don't do anything stupid case!))
Casey wasn't sure what to expect from Bella. Maybe she'd break down. Maybe she could manage to chuckle or giggle despite that deranged look lingering on her face. Maybe it's be the same thing as always, just this giant brick wall he couldn't peer past and that didn't show a thing of what his Billy was really thinking. All Casey could do was at least try to act that wasn't anything even slightly bothering him.
The raven head was a little surprised when he found himself drawn into an embrace, this time initiated by Bella. He couldn't help but think that he really shouldn't try or risk anything stupid right now like he had done before over and over again. He wouldn't make the same mistakes twice right? With his track record now that wasn't too certain.
Casey returned the embrace, lightly enough so she could get away if she wanted to. With that in the back of his mind however his heart seemed to break a little. It felt like there were too many cracks to ever start of as friends again in the way he had hopped to do in the early morning.
“ You still have lucky charms?”
For a second Casey managed to let out a slightly amused chuckle telling his brain to pretend he had never noticed that initial sadness on Bella's face. Of course he still had lucky charms. He didn't grow out of their ancient old habit in just a few months, despite the fact that the cereals were terribly lonely to eat lately. Casey still needed breakfast despite that.
“ Cartoons sound really fun right now…”
Despite that fact that it was an ungodly hour to still be eating cereals, Casey actually like the sound of that. His heart seemed to settle too as he let go of that easy embraced Bella had been treating him with.
"Come.... I think Samurai Jack is on right now or something we don't even know yet!" Casey started to sound like a gleeful little child given a treat it loved, but hadn't had in months.
"I'll get the charms." Added Casey before just not speeding away and letting Bella take her time to find her way to the couch.
((Good boy! Yes be all childish <3))
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 1:32 am
“ Come…I think Samurai Jack is on right now or something we don’t even know yet!”, Casey sounded so much like a gleeful little child that a scarlet hue outshined the pale weariness that had overtaken her face. In fact, Bella had to stifle a giggle that bubbled in her throat, and that only made the scarlet hue bolster even more. Gosh silly goose! Stop blushing around him! Blushing more because her friend was just too adorable for words at times, Bella could only watch as her started to have a little bounce to his step. He was like a happy puppy, and Bella wanted to giggle again like she used to.
“ I’ll get the charms!”, Casey might not have said it with an exclamation point; but, Bella certainly thought she heard one. The ravenhead was just so gleeful as he bounced away towards the kitchen that she felt like Eva in WALL-E’s house. Like he was so unused to visitors that he bounced off excited just to show her his treasures because he was that excited just to be near someone. Well, not just ‘someone’ she supposed; but, her heart still waited for the metaphorical Christmas lights to pop on. ‘ If he was any more like Weebo he’d be bringing candles to our cereal luncheon.’ A noise in-between a laugh and a giggle being stifled in her mouth at the mental image, Bella took a glance back at the surroundings before walking into the other room towards the couch. Just as she was about to debate sitting in her usual spot; her heart flashed back to the last time she had been on that couch.
Casey not showing up for minutes, staying but a few, then running away. While she doubted he would do that again, her eyes were unfortunately on the corner seat…where Harold had sat. Oh how she had loathed him for touching her neck without permission, for dragging her onto his lap when she tried to leave and kissing the back of her neck with his dry mouth. But now…things were different. She found herself looking at that seat and missing ‘Horrible Harold’. Beside the couch stood a house phone, but she knew in her heart that Harold wasn’t ready to answer her calls, and being on the phone when Casey came back would give the wrong idea. That she wasn’t excited to be here watching cartoons with him. ‘ Oh Skull…I miss you so much…’, Ignoring the memory and pushing it aside, Bella sat down in the middle of the couch and patted the spot on either side of her before turning on the television and –sure enough- seeing the introduction for Samurai Jack being broadcasted from the television screen. Chuckling at the fact that she was watching these shows when she was over eighteen years old, Bella shook her head with a sentimental smile before smiling at Casey whenever he came back into the room.
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:08 am
It took Casey about five minutes to return with two bowls with milk and cereal and complimentary spoons. Oblivious to Bella missing Harold -which we all know is for the better- Casey smiled the most genuine smile he had smiled in a whole week. He handed one of the bowls to Bella and ploffed down to her left.
"They still didn't change the hours."
Mused Casey before he took a few bites of cereal. Like that Casey remained next to Bella with a few comments on the side about the typical repetitiveness of any cartoon series. By the time the channel aired the powerpuff girls they had both finished their bowl of cereals. For a while Casey had an awkward feeling in his stomach that seemed to try and tell him to do something. A bit later while still having that same feeling he turned to look at what Bella was doing before following his gut and giving Bella a warm hug.
"I missed this Billy-bee" He said enjoying the hug for as long as he felt he needed it or as long as Bella would let him have that.
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 5:29 am
Waiting a cheerful five minutes by herself twiddling her thumbs in the living room, Bella smiled when she heard footsteps signify the return of her old best friend. It was almost comical how her childish heart warmed up when Casey came through the doorway holding cereal bowls; because she sat up on the couch with that adorable smile on her face like it was Christmas morning and someone was handing her the first present with her name on it. Reaching out to take the bowl and spoon, she was about to lean back in the chair, press her body against Casey’s like a little sister, when she realized what she was even thinking of doing and stopped herself. Not leaning away from him like the plague, but not leaning towards him; Bella simply kept her eyes on the tv screen while she ate. Casey’s eyes being very…enchanting, it was best she avoided eye-contact in general.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t. At select intervals of comedic punch-lines, Bella would laugh and chuckle at the tv screen. Laughter being something that a person almost had to share with others, her eyes would glance his way during those moments and the shared eye-contact was overwhelming. How could she feel miserable when Casey was laughing and smiling? The ice stabbing her heart continued to melt over the cheesiest television show that she had seen in months. All because her Casey laughed with her genuinely, shared his laughter back with her, and it was like old times. It felt good. No Harold, no beloved Iorwen, just their unadulterated friendship. Even if it was only a glimmer of what it once was. Several times she wanted to reach out and tell Casey how she felt about simply watching television, but she couldn’t find the words…but then again; perhaps he felt the same way…because seemingly out of nowhere his arms folded around her and she nearly melted into his arms. Suspended in another dimension where she was allowed to cherish him in her embrace, Bella pressed her face into his chest and resisted the urge to kiss his shirt in appreciation.
“ I missed this Billy-bee.”, ‘ Oh God…why don’t you just kill me now?’, How long had she hoped to hear that? Too long, But oh how wonderful it was. She knew, without doubting even a morsel, that Casey had spoken in earnest. It felt wonderful that he meant it, or at least gave every impression of feeling so. Unfortunately for her, it was too wonderful…and after cradling the warmth of his body in her arms for five glorious minutes…she burst into nearly soundless tears. The convulsions of her lungs contracting and making her body somewhat jerk would be enough for any average person to know that a person was crying, but the way she pushed her face into his chest in shame would certainly have made it painfully obvious.
MY GOD! STOP CRYING! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU CRY! YOU’RE RUINING THIS! YOU’VE RUINED IT!, Squeezing Casey to her as hard as she possibly could until the sting of those words faded enough for her to breathe, Bella began to try and move out from Casey’s hold and wipe her eyes with her sleeve. She hadn’t been crying a river, but she had wept nonetheless; and she was plenty embarrassed for it to happen on their first friend-date back.
“ I missed this too Casey.”, I missed you so much. Bella wiped her eyes and felt the shame in her stomach begin to curdle her emotions. Almost forgetting how screwy it was to be pregnant, or even that she was pregnant at times, the resulting chaos of emotion was difficult to process. Her once best friend had seen enough to not be able to pretend she was okay. He had also seen enough to know that she desperately adored his company; and she had written him that stupid letter! Grr, why don’t you commit friendship suicide right now! So ashamed that Casey had to see this when he obviously didn’t want to deal with her problems anymore-
Catching herself mid-thought as she stared down at her foot for a second, Bella realized exactly how bitter she had become. ‘ Here Casey is, trying to be a good friend, and you presume to know what he cares about and doesn’t care about!’, Hurt so gravely, if only for thinking poorly of her old best friend, Bella calmly looked away towards the window for a moment before making an awkward inch forward scoot as if to convey she wanted to go without actually leaving yet.
“ I should go…I’m…erm…you don’t need to see this.”, Chuckling as if that could be anything close to as funny as the jokes on the television had been, Bella took one last pleading glance at her friend before starting to reach for her cereal bowl and seeing the way her hands trembled. Great! More things he doesn’t want to see! Hating herself for these bitter thoughts, Bella knew she couldn’t just leave. Not now. Not when things were starting to get better. ‘ I will not be the quitter!’, and randomly laughing, she just shook her head back and forth.
“ Stupid hormones…they make everything crazy.”, Finding that hilarious but only softly smiling, Bella looked up into Casey’s eyes in a hopeful stare before catching something on his face. Her eyes still glossy from watering up, Bella reached her hand towards Casey’s face to scoop away a tiny little crumb from the corner of his mouth. He must not have noticed it; but, for some reason she hadn’t either until this moment…and in wiping it away, she then flickered her eyes back to his gaze and kept staring.
“ You had a crumb…”, God I missed you. “ Case…”, Lingering on her sentence because she could not tear her eyes away from Casey’s own, Bella began to understand why she had felt so strange being so close to Casey. Not in a bad way; but, it had felt like they were on some unofficial date. After all…friends didn’t look into each other’s eyes and feel any sort of longing to cradle and kiss that person. Even if it was one sided, it still felt awkward and uncomfortable to her to feel like there was chemistry in the air. Fake chemistry was even worse; simply from not knowing if it was real or not. In limbo, Bella finally cracked a smile and touched her hand over her mostly flat stomach that just barely started to show.
“ I think I should rest for a while…get some shut eye.”, Chuckling, Bella stood from the couch and approached the door. Lingering in the doorway, she turned her head around a little to smile at her old friend.
“ I missed this too Casey… ”, Bella began; but ended her speech there and walked towards her room. She had to stop thinking about him as a man (or a woman)...Perhaps if she pretended he was Pino, she could get through each day with him without a single passion filled thought or hope of something more.
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:49 am
Casey wasn't sure at first how Bella was reacting. She seemed to breaking apart completely and proving that she had just been looking defeated. Yet, just hearing her say she had missed it too made Casey shine a little on the inside. That was really all he needed to hear right now, that had been missed in some way in her life.
When she pulled away Casey wasn't surprised to some tears on her face and it made himself get pretty close to tears as well, but he kept it back as she rambled. Bella felt bet for crying during this strange reunion, but was it really that bad to cry for something you had been so used to? To cry for finding back a really close friend? Yet, in the serious of the moment Bella said:
“ You had a crumb…Case”
Casey couldn't help giggle at that. Smiling, the feeling that he could cry started to wane. Yet at the same time he still felt like smothering Bella, but he didn't and let her give excuses to get some privacy...
“ I missed this too Casey… ”
"Me too..." Casey said watching her retreat into her room. "And I missed you..." He said to himself while turning of the tv and going back to his room and the project of writing out all he felt in a response to Bella's letter.
______________Three days later_________
It took a while and a good number of hours, but after a few days and allot of thinking Casey had managed to finish his letter in a way that satisfied him. It still wasn't perfect, but it said all it had to and didn't hide what he didn't really want to write. He went to school as usual, pretty much alone and left the letter in Bella's locker. Sure she stayed with him right now, but this was a better place to leave it, just in case things went haywire again. He couldn't wait another day for Bella to read it.
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Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:52 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:08 am
Hours after Casey left the letter in Bella’s locker, a young man with double piercings under his bottom lip stood wandering around the college campus with a stern look plastered about his face. He was short for a man; but, that was not what was odd about him. No…unlike the hundreds of other students wandering around campus during the lunch hour, Richard Kempt didn’t have a backpack. He was holding a cigarette, but he seemed to be disinterested in the fact that there was a designated smoking section. Bringing the cancer stick to his mouth at a fork in the hallways, the man was about to head to the office and ask for them to summon his brother over the intercom when a familiar face entered his line of vision. Only knowing the man from pictures that his older brother had e-mailed him over the years, Fang made his way towards the pierced male with determination making his feet thump hard against the tile.
“ Hey; you!” What the f*** was his name? “ Caleb!”, It didn’t really matter if the handsome little man stopped in the hallway or just paused for a moment; Fang tried to grab his sleeve possessively.
“ Where’s Skull?!”, It took Fang a minute to notice, but given the expression on the other man’s face, Richard doubted that his brother had ever shown the ex a photo of him before. Heaven forbid he tell other people about his family. Had Fang not already been in a horrible mood, he would have been pissed at the lack of familiarity on Casey’s face. Waiting around for a mere moment, that being all it took for Skull to come out of a history class, Fang dropped Casey’s sleeve and skulked off after the man. But not before pinning Casey a venomous stare.
“ Skull!”, Richard expected his taller brother to stop when he heard him; but, no. Harold took one look at Fang, grimaced like he had seen a woman naked, and took off down another corridor. ‘ The ******** style="color: black">’, Fang wanted to shoot the ungrateful b*****d! ‘ You ignore all my calls, my letters, my e-mails! And Still you ignore me when I make the effort to drive six hours and see you!’ Ignored all summer, it was enough for him to start running around the corner.
“ GET BACK HERE YOU c**k SUCKING f*****t!”, Skull seemed pissed and unfazed by his words, and this was even more infuriating to Fang, so he yelled out another vicious comment.
“ YOU MALODOROUS,SKANKY, IPECAC!”, Harold looked like he started to just turn his head a little bit, and it was more than enough incentive to make Fang think that his brother was paying attention to him.
“ YEAH; YOU BETTER TURN AROUND SHITHEAD!”, Everyone else in the hallway turned to look at the shorter male screaming about offensive language; but, Richard didn’t care who saw him. He could be screwing someone against a locker and he wouldn’t have cared about any gawking or horrified stares. With a snarl sent towards him, Skull visibly shrugged the words off and kept walking fast down the hallway. ‘ I told you he doesn’t care about you anymore’, A little voice spoke into Richard’s head, and Fang could only see red. Running as fast as he could, he had been about to catch up to the once-painted male –Where the hell was his individuality?- when his taller brother muttered an expletive and disappeared into the women’s room.
‘ What the hell?!’, Fang would sooner see his brother venture into the depths of hell before he ran from him; much less go into the women’s room! Frustrated as hell, Fang ran the few yards of distance to slam on the door. It was locked, so he punched his fists against the door in loud slams. Not caring if he damaged the door in the process.
“ OPEN THE ******** DOOR SKULL!”, another slam against the door.
“ <******** OFF!”, ’Did he really just say that to him?’ This meant war, looking around him for anything he could use to break down the door, Skull saw a fire hydrant and rushed for it. Unfortunately for him, the device was nailed too strongly to wall. ‘ Oh that’ll be a help if there was a fire!’.
“ GET YOUR p***y READY, I’M COMING IN!”, Deciding to just use his body as a battering ram, Fang ignored the looks of disgusted bystanders before running with all his might into the locked door—
Only it wasn’t locked anymore, the door swung open as freely as a ballet swoop, and Richard’s knee sharply collided with a sink…and away the short man flew. Slamming into the floor and skinning himself in multiple placed, Richard vaguely heard the bathroom door slam closed. A ‘click’ and it was locked before a black boot came down on his back. s**t! You’re in hell now; aren’t you?’ Too frustrated and pissed to make a comment under all this pain, Richard just snarled the all too familiar Kempt expression.
“ What the hell is your problem? I’m at school Brother. What could possibly be so important for you to show up here?”, the you don’t mean a ********> –sounded- laced in all those comments, and Richard tried to spit, but the blood in his mouth from biting his tongue too roughly from pain blended in with his saliva and the taste made him gag. Harold wasn’t shoving the boot anywhere, thank god, but he didn’t move.
“ W…what am I supposed to do? You don’t answer my calls…you don’t write or visit; hell, my e-mails go unread…I find out you haven’t picked up your prescriptions from mother.-”, Richard snarled from having to say ‘mother’ like it was a curse word. “ Mother…As if that’s not enough, you answer Dad’s mail. What the ******** is going through your head? Agreeing to work for dad’s company? Did something crawl into your ear?”, Fang waited for the boot to move, but it didn’t. Feeling the heel push into his back a little more strongly, Richard gagged on his own saliva and grimaced again at the nasty flavor.
“ You left me alone with that thing for an entire month while mom and dad came down here to sign paperwork with you!? How could you not tell me months ago!?”, in his mind; Richard had every right to be pissed at this moment and he relished in the angry tar sticking to his heart like a child in a mud-bath.
“ Why haven’t you asked me to visit all year Skull?!”, Was it just his imagination; or was Harold’s face becoming less human every minute? Looking into the eyes of a cold monster, Skull raised an eyebrow and snarled the kempt snarl back at him.
“ You know why Richard; I told you we were done.”, Waiting for a longer explanation, Richard didn’t say anything. He just felt brokenhearted and cold. A dampness that wasn’t caused by water on the bathroom floor.
“ So I don’t see how Dad’s visit here is any of your business.”, How could he!? True…Harold had said they were over, but how many times had he said that over the years? Was the last time magically supposed to mean more than the half dozen times he had used it during their childhood? You ******** his boyfriend a*****e, what did you expect? To get away with it? Maybe it would have been different if Fang had actually cared about Brendon, but he had just done it because he was pissed. His brother was the one that his own ex had wanted to screw around with, and it had been his own fault for agreeing to Vixen’s ‘open relationship’; but that didn’t change the fact that Skull shouldn’t have done anything with Vix. Pure and simple revenge, that’s all it was, and because of it Harold went to another college in a clear ’******** you’. Guilt gnawed at his belly from time to time; but, he did not regret what he did. His brother deserved to suffer for a while! Surely with all the crap between them, that one thing wasn’t enough to be completely ignored! A friendship gone, he could understand that; but…’ You wouldn’t have read my mail if it was my last request would you?’ The boot didn’t push into him painfully, but it was further proof of his older brothers complete indifference, and therefore hurt more than a punch to the face could have done to him. Skull kept looking at him in a ‘this is your own fault, coming here’ and Fang couldn’t stomach looking at his face anymore.
“ It was TWO YEARS AGO! You talked to me after that! You at least answered my stupid Christmas cards before!”, Richard was hurt and rambling; exaggerating on the length of time a little, and blubbering his words. What did you expect, that he would see you and forget what you did? Yeah; hell, he had hoped Skull would have done that. Something felt horribly wrong about his brother; like he was hiding something big; but, Fang couldn’t place it. Skull moved the boot from his back and left the bathroom without even listening to the end of his comment. We’re done; How many times did it have to hurt before he got the message? Probably hundreds, since the bruised and scraped male slid his short body off of the floor and started to follow him.
A foot off of the floor was all it took for him to see the feet in one of the stalls; but, at the moment he was too pissed to care about any eavesdropper. Walking out of the bathroom and limping after his brother until he could properly walk again, Fang was just near enough to speak without yelling when another person walked around the corner and Fang’s eyes widened in vehement repugnance.
“ Um, Harold, we need to tal-”, The girl didn’t even have time to finish her sentence.
‘ UGH! What the hell is that maggot doing here?! I TOLD HER TO STAY IN HER ******** ROOM!’, In fact; Richard had locked his younger sister in her room before driving here. Loving his sister like he loved a pebble in his shoe, Fang snarled at her and tried to spit on her foot.
“ WHAT THE ******** ARE YOU DOING HERE?”, Screaming in her face, Emily’s eyes widened in shock and surprise, and she froze like a deer. Emily would never have acted like that unless their parents were around and she was ‘playing the victim’. Only then realizing that this person wasn’t Emily, Fang began to feel very sick. Nauseated to the point of vomiting in his mouth and grimacing as if he had the flu, Richard snarled whole-heartedly at the brunette as his eyes flashed up and down her body. Whoever the female was, she was an inch or so different in height, a little older obviously, with a slightly larger tummy. Whoever she was, Richard immediately hated her and vowed to ignore her presence until his eyes saw Skull’s hand reach up to try and hold her ******** hand like she was his girlfriend or something. ‘ You know she probably has rabies or something right?’
“ Skull; What is that thing?”, When Skull didn’t answer him within three seconds, Richard took it personally. Course he wants to hide another c**-bucket from you; afraid you’ll steal it. Damn hell, why would he want to steal something that ugly? God she looks like the devil incarnate…and very slowly the image of his brother ******** that Emily doppelganger crept into his head and filled him with both disgust and excitement. Any arousal he felt not showing at the idea of seeing Emily suffer; the adjacent disgust overwhelmed his face when the brunette fearfully stretched her petite fingers back around his brother’s hand. Harold accepted her hand like they had held hands before, and Richard’s stomach lurched at the subtle intimacy. ‘ You’ve lost your mind have’nt you!?’ Did Fang think less of his brother for his perversions? No…but Richard had his perversions as well.
His selfish, ungrateful, brother. Not wanting to share the little demon he found. ‘ He must pretend she’s Emily when they’re in bed together…’, Smirking demonically like a naughty Keebler elf, Fang stepped forward in mock cheerfulness towards the nervous brunette and held out his hand to wait for her to shake it.
“ Well Hello Emily,”, Assuming that he was pressing on a personal nerve in their relationship; he waited for Bella’s face to show the pain he longed to see, but she just stared at him in simple confusion. ‘ What? Why aren’t you pissed?’, So Fang glanced at his brother; who was staring at him in complete hatred, trying his best to stifle the emotion from overtaking his entire face. Ah, so she doesn’t know! Bwahahahahaha! Grinning from ear to ear, Richard kept his hand up to wait for Bella to shake it. Very slowly, the hand that was wrapped around Skull’s hand started to unravel, and the grin on Richard’s face began to curl into a satisfied smirk. However, just as Bella let go of his hand, Skull snatched her fingers back and used his other hand to grab Bella’s other hand so that she couldn’t touch Richard. Heaven forbid she likes touching me. Heaven forbid he share. ‘ You had no qualms with sharing what was mine brother.’ Of course Casey didn’t know who he was, Skull didn’t want the little Emily clone to know who he was!
“ ooh…did I touch a nerve brother?”, Watching ‘emily’ he smiled when the brunette looked more confused.
“ Yes; hello, I’m Fang…Skull’s ‘little’ brother.”, Richard chuckled almost evilly. “ I don’t believe you’ve ever even heard of me before; have you Emily?”, Skull was pissed and having a harder time keeping his mouth strait. Even more gleeful at the struggle on his vengeful brother’s face, Richard smirked and decided to torture him more…and walking forward, though Bella tried to take a step backwards, Fang leaned in to try and force a kiss on her cheek.
“ Well do come by and visit us in Salzbury…I’m sure mother would love to see you.”, hovering his mouth near Bella’s ear, his hand lingering over the brunette’s left breast (though she might not have noticed with her eyes only looking at his face), Richard waited for the punch to the jaw but felt nothing. ‘ Oh but of course! She doesn’t know how violent you are! Course you didn’t tell her that either…’, Having way too much fun with this turn of events, Richard leaned away and ran one hand through his hair before fixing his sunglasses so that they were pushed up against his face.
“…Seeing as I’m unwelcome here, I think its best that I be going…”, Harold’s hand was bunched into a fist, and that was enough proof of hatred to make Richard a happy little puppy. Winking just once at Bella and watching the muscles in Skull’s hand clench uncomfortably, Fang walked past her towards the door.
“ See you around Em, do take care of my brother.”, and though he could visibly imagine his brother’s hair ruffling like a pissed off peacock, Richard didn’t turn around once as he walked off campus. Yes, he was disappointed that his brother wanted nothing to do with him; but, now he knew why. ‘ Hiding his little love toy…’, Fang was pleased he had fuel to masterbate with; but, she would either have to go…or be persuaded into his bed for him to get his brother back. Returning to his car with every intention of finding the closest hotel to campus, a wicked grin crossed his face.
“ I love a challenge.”
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 12:52 pm
[new poly]
Quite unknown to Skull and his horrible brother, Bella had been in that bathroom not fifteen minutes before. With pregnancy sickness interfering with her stomach, she had gone in there to vomit, and was just cleaning up her mouth when she looked up…and saw the dread-locks girl staring at her with a surprised expression. Unsure of the blond was just concerned or non-feeling, the woman didn’t glare at her like Bella had expected her to. ‘ Why isn’t she hurt looking at me?’, The blonde’s smile then faded a moment…and Bella saw enough proof of displeasured pain in her eyes to feel uncomfortable…which unfortunately, when the sensation lingered, caused her to vomit into the sink again.
Strangely, the girl was very nice and tried to hold her hair back for her. She’s being too nice…she must feel guilty about Io…Bella knew how it felt to like someone who was with someone else. As if your own feelings were a bother to them for even existing. ‘ I can’t let her keep feeling like that.’
“ Thank you.”, The girl answered with a ‘no problem’ and it just made the brunette feel even more guilty. ‘ Stop making that face!’ She looked so hurt and ashamed; Bella just couldn’t stand it anymore…but…
“ Do you need to go to the doctor? You look really sick…”, Blinking as a response to the first person aside from Harold or Iorwen to notice her morning sickness, Bella shook her head and bent to get some water from the faucet into her palm to drink into her mouth and rinse away the vomit.
“ N…no…I…um…”, how awkward was this? The girl just blinked at her ramble.
“ I’m pregnant actually…”, The blonde’s eyes widened in shock and Bella understood it. How could lesbians get pregnant? ‘ If she doesn’t know already she’s a fool.’, feeling horrible beyond words, she let out a sigh and began to confess the dirty truth.
“ Listen…um…I’m not…dating Iorwen…”, The blond looked devastated, but strangely not very surprised. Bella tried to explain, but the dread-head just raised her hand; like she couldn’t handle listening to anymore. Feeling even worse because the nice-seeming girl looked worse than she had before; Bella started to try and wash the vomit out of the bottom strands of her hair, and the girl started to move behind her.
“ Here…you need this more than I do.”, Taking a black, sweater, beanie from the top of her head, Bella looked up to see the dread-head handing it to her. Should you take that? You don’t deserve this treatment But she also just read Casey’s letter a while ago, and to talk to him later with…vomit in her hair…would be mortifying. So Bella took it and put it on. Making sure the icky parts of her hair were stuffed into the hat.
“ Thank you…”, Bella began.
“ Ragina. My name’s Ragina.”, and talking for a few more minutes, Ragina disappeared into a stall, and Bella left the women’s room to look for Harold or Casey. Eventually turning a hallway and finding the man who decided to only wear eye-liner, Bella rushed into the clearing to get his attention.
“ Um, Harold, we need to tal-”
“ WHAT THE ******** ARE YOU DOING HERE?”, Screamed at in her face; Bella froze like a deer in headlights from shock of the high volume of sound waves throttling her brain. ‘ Who the hell is this?!’ A strange man, who dressed similarly to Harold or Casey, standing here yelling at her? Bella came to just one conclusion…Is he seeing someone else? Was…was he with someone else this whole time? And in that sheer morbid thought, Bella’s chest throbbed in heartbreak and her tongue became numb and unmovable. ‘ He wouldn’t…he wouldn’t of…he loved me. He’s been at my house almost all the time or texting me when he wasn’t…’ Not that it wasn’t easy to text someone when they were having their c**k sucked. Frightened on nearly every level, Bella could only stand there and tremble…
Until she saw Skull look at her with that pain and longing on his face. On the one hand, he looked like he was feeling horribly guilty; and it frightened her, but if he felt guilty towards her…then why was his hand moving towards her own? Surely someone who cheated or was with someone else wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and hold her hand? In taking another look at Harold’s face, he looked more concerned for her well-being than guilty, and in that exchange she felt the worry begin to subside.
“ Skull; What is that thing?”, A fire began to burn in her chest like a blossoming flower. ‘ Thing?!? What the hell are you calling me a thing for?!’, Fearing once more that she was the sleaze-woman that Harold had betrayed this person with; Bella could feel her heart throb in little stabs inside her chest. Her breath becoming more difficult to get, the concern made her head begin to grow lightheaded from worry…because that strange man started to grin like a gleeful demon like her clothes had just fallen off. Even with holding his hand between her fingers, Skull’s company didn’t help her feel safe when that short man looked at her.
“ Well hello Emily.”, Emily?! Who the ******** is Emily?! Was that the name Harold told them that she was? Was that the name of a girlfriend of Skulls? Someone he fooled around with from time to time? Jealous; vehemently jealous in fact, Bella almost let go of Skull’s hand when she saw the look on Harold’s face and saw nothing but hatred and anger underneath the cracking statue-strait expression on his face. ‘ Something is going on! How could I have been so stupid to not suspect something?!’, Who was this person who saw fit to interrupt their lives? Was he the room-mate that shared his lithium with Harold? Was he mad that Skull was doing his best not to abuse medications and trying to punish him for it? Bella was too confused to interject; too curious to walk away, and too frightened to look at anything –but- that man’s face.
“ ooh…did I touch a nerve brother?” Brother?! Unaware that Harold had siblings, though that was certainly a possibility for any person, Bella glanced at the taller man next to her before looking back at the short version and seeing the resemblances in their face to believe that they were related. ‘ Brother? So Skull didn’t even tell his brother about me?’, she would have been offended; but, seeing as how this guy was strongly giving her the creeps…perhaps it was for the best that this brother didn’t know who she was.
“ Yes; hello, I’m Fang…Skull’s ‘little’ brother. I don’t believe you’ve ever even heard of me before; have you Emily?”, I highly doubt your real name is Fang…Bella thought with a scowl in her heart as she looked at the pain on Skull’s face and realized that this brother was just trying to goad him. Obviously this ‘Emily’ must have been an important person to him at one time, and Fang was being a horrible lout by torturing him with her name! The other possibility being that Emily was a person that Harold had just been fooling around with behind her back, Bella didn’t even want to consider such a painful idea at the moment. Especially when the man stepped forward with his hand up, wanting to shake her hand. As much as she didn’t want to keep delaying the inevitable, and being rude to this person could have disastrous consequences, she started to drop Skull’s hand to shake it when suddenly Harold snatched her hand again and squeezed her fingers. The attention felt wonderful to her hand, since she didn’t really want to touch that jerk in the first place; but, that didn’t seem to stop the short man from looking so evil and happy. She should have ran away, because that look was an omen to what Fang did next.
Walking forward, too close to her to feel comfortable, the man smirked at her attempts to walk backwards and pinned his dark eyes on her. Freezing because moving further backwards would mean that Harold could not keep holding her hand, Bella darted her head away from Skull’s brother like a bird; but, in the end it did nothing to dissuade the male who pressed his mouth to her cheek without permission. Feeling raped by the simple touch, Bella grimaced as cold shivers travelled all around her body and stole away her body’s warmth. Feeling like there was globs of wet snow in her shoes, she did have one consolation…’ You just kissed the cheek that had vomit on it, so I hope that tasted nice!’
“ Well do come by and visit us in Salzbury…I’m sure mother would love to see you.”, Unsure if he was trying to intimidate or hurt her or Skull by that comment, Bella’s eyebrows furrowed together. Speaking the words against her ear added to the molestation sensation curdling her stomach, but there was little she could do about it without touching his body to push him away. Not even noticing where his hand was lingering, Bella shot Skull a pleading glance only to see him glaring at his brother with his eyes not leaving the short man’s face. The man hesitated in awkward silence for a moment before moving away, and when he did the sweet breath of release flooded through her senses. Hopefully he would leave very soon and not come back…Watching him adjust his glasses like he was ‘Joe Cool’ or something, Bella felt like vomiting again…
“…Seeing as I’m unwelcome here, I think its best that I be going…See you around Em, do take care of my brother.” What the hell does that mean? ‘Take care of my brother’ that was an insult I know it! Demanding to know if she had been hanging out with a two-timer, Bella glared at that horrible Fang until he turned the corner out of their lives. Snapping her eyes back at Harold, Bella looked at him in frustration (or was it fury?) but saw him clutching his chest in pain. Worry immediately stealing away any fury she might have felt, Bella rushed forward to touch her other hand against his heart as if that could magically take the pain away or tell her what the problem was.
“ Skully?...”, Remembering how her sick face looked in the mirror earlier this morning, seeing the expression of pain muddling his features looked like the masculine clone of it. Her own heart stabbing inside her chest from worry, Bella looked back and forth from his chest to his eyes; hoping to get some reassurance that he was doing okay enough to respond. When he didn’t answer right away, she could feel the ice cubes in her shoes melt and re-freeze.
“ H…harold?”, Worried out of her mind, Bella wished she had brought her purse to school today; because without her driver’s licence with her…she couldn’t drive him home or to the hospital…and given how his face was paling over, she felt this desperate need in her heart to get him to the hospital as quickly as she possibly could. ‘ What am I going to do?!’, Remembering that Ragina had offered to take her home, she was going to rush back to the bathroom and beg for her to drive Harold to the hospital when she saw Casey and rushed towards him after letting go of Harold’s hand.
“ Casey. Casey please, can you skip class and take us to the hospital?”, She didn’t see Skull using his other arm to try and wave that he was ‘okay’; she just knew in her subconscious that something wasn’t right. Even if it was just an anxiety attack, who knows what that could mean with the way his pills screwed up with his body? Tearing her watering eyes away from Casey’s beautiful face to see Harold still clutching his chest but trying to grab the corner of a nearby locker for support, Bella bit down on her lip and hurriedly turned back around with all the worry and heartbreak paling her skin and glistening in her eyes. Desperate for Casey to say yes; Bella waited in suspense for however long it took before she heard a thud and looked behind her to see Skull having collapsed on the floor.
Don’t you see that they hate each other?! She did care; but, surely someone’s health was more important than catering to feelings, wasn’t it? You haven’t even talked to Skull yet! And you want Casey’s help! Bella let out a quiet shudder in heartbroken concern. ‘ If he means what he wrote he’ll do it for me!’ and rushing away before hearing an answer, Bella fell to her knees as gently as possible and held her hand under Harold’s cheek. He was still warm, but his breathing was constrained. Touching her hand to his chest, she could feel a rapid heartbeat and this forced her own heart to dance in agony at the other pair being in distress. God we can’t keep standing here! Pressing her ear to his chest to hear the distress of his pumping organ as if hoping it had been an illusion; Bella squeezed him as if that could get the once-painted male to wake up. She felt him stir, mumble something, but it wasn’t even loud enough to understand one syllable of the nonsense tumbling out of his breath. ‘ Don’t try and say you’re alright moron!’, and grabbing his arms, Bella knew she couldn’t lift him…so she just tried to drag him along the floor.
“ Where is your car!?”, Bella almost cried when she spoke, and snapped her eyes back at Casey with that horrible pleading look before looking back down at her Harold and dragging him towards the nearest door. Not caring that her backpack was still in her locker, or that she still had three more classes that day. ‘ Iorwen will be just fine without me!’, Hurt for even saying that; because Io would probably know just what to do in this situation, Bella felt her chest convulse in frustration. Harold wasn’t overweight, but he had muscles…and that made him quite difficult to keep dragging all by herself. As much as she wished she could keep dragging, and do so faster, she couldn’t do this all alone and feeling useless was like saying Harold was already dead.
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Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:35 am
Casey still felt nervous. Maybe even ever since dropping of the letter. Somehow he kept thinking that some sort of streak of really bad luck would interfere. Just like the last time he tried to get things right with Bella. This was really starting to feel like a badly written real life soap.
“ Hey; you!”
Of course Casey didn't react, it's not like he knew the voice. Not like he thought some random guy would be yelling at him.
“ Caleb!”
The voice was closer more persistent and it made Casey slow down to take a peek over his shoulder as to what was going on, but before he properly could he found himself jerked to a full stop and staring into the face of a stranger.
“ Where’s Skull?!”
The male barked in Casey's face and for a split second Casey wondered what sort of Skull-secret was standing before him this time. Casey was about to answer that he didn't have a clue nor cared, but this guy was of after skull yelling like a mad man before Casey could properly grasp the situation. He was curious however, curious what this was about and maybe he just wanted to find another reason to hate Harold even more. He hadn't even seen the venomous stare to stranger gave him any more. Yet, the myriad of slanderous swears at Harold were more than enough to show what sort of short tempered guy was running mad through the school hallways.
Casey followed from a distance, not wanting to get directly involved and not needing to be too close. However whatever was going on continued in the lady's room -out of all places. Casey waited for a few minutes and turned around thinking he wouldn't hear or see anything more, but before he got too far he heard another series of yells from the by now familiar stranger.
“ WHAT THE ******** ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
Sure Casey heard that, but his distance from the actual conversation prevented him from hearing much more. That guy had some issues to say the least and somehow with Bella which was weird, because -even with the missed time- Casey thought he'd know if somebody had a serious reason to yell like that in Bella's face. Not in a hundred years that would be possible just like that which made Casey wonder if this guy was either possessive of Harold -which led to other less pleasant thoughts- or mixing up Bella with somebody else -but what were the odds?
Either way , Casey didn't catch much more of what was happening and turned to leave pretty much giving up at the same time the ******** up stranger left. Out of anything that could've happened Casey certainly wasn't expecting...
“ Casey. Casey please, can you skip class and take us to the hospital?”
Casey turned around unaware that Harold had needed to clutch to a nearby locker in the split minutes he had decided to actually get to class. Sure he he had loathed Harold in the last few weeks, but the guy sprawled on the floor did make Casey feel a pang of guilt. You can wish the worst for any human being, but when anything close to the worst happens... Well let's just say Casey felt guilt for thinking the worst. But there was also... That threatening feeling of all that Harold had said about and to Bella. Casey was more than just inclined to say no in a streak of malice, but he couldn't, because as so often lately... Bella looked hopeless.
Following Bella in a delay and having the strangest look on his face when he thought Harold had seen him Casey took hold Bella's shoulder. Mere weeks ago he'd have been in the same state, but his mind and heart precariously balancing between what he felt for Bella on one hand and Harold on the other made him unnervingly cool at the moment.
“ Where is your car!?”
Casey pinched Bella's shoulder harder, trying to stop her from going on in her panic and starting to drag Harold. Casey's heart despaired and in a moment of light helpless aggression he grabbed Bella -a bit more intimately than he should- in an attempt to shake her out of the shock she was in. She seemed to be paying attention now and on the verge of breaking.
"Calm down..."
She seemed to listen and breathe in and get herself breathing enough to be actually helpful.
"We'll carry him together... Grab his legs." Casey said with care and somewhat commanding. With effort they managed to lift their... Friend from the ground.
___________________In the hospital_________________
They hadn't been in the hospital for long yet, but they had been there for long enough for the doctors to have asked their questions to figure out what was going on with Harold. They just had to wait on the diagnose. Casey was still with and near Bella but he hadn't said much more of a word to her after arriving. Like he was expecting her to say something.
This slightly felt like waiting for a call all over again....
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 1:45 am
“ Calm down…we’ll carry him together…”
It seemed like Casey had said those words hours ago, even though it had only been forty-five minutes. With the emergency room seeming more like a graveyard from nurses barely doing anything, it only wore Bella out more. One would imagine that doctors would move quickly in an emergency room, like the television shows depicted, but no…they moved when they were good and ready unless a machine started beeping for longer than ten seconds. In the other room, Skull lay resting on their hospital bed, half asleep with an iv in his arm. If not for being told by the doctor, who did finally see them for five minutes, to let him rest for a while; Bella would be in the chair in the hospital room beside Harold Kempt.
With all the drama, Bella hadn’t given too much thought to what she was going to do about that letter Casey left her; but, with sitting beside Casey for an awkward ten minutes…nothing else occupied her thoughts. Back at the college, Bella had read and re-read the letter at least a dozen times. Absorbing information and pondering each sentence individually. Unfortunately Casey and herself shared the similar facet of being easy to confuse, because her brain was fogging up like a hot car driving about on a winter’s night. Of a few things, Bella was absolutely certain…but the rest…left her staring at her shoes…unable to just look at Casey and tell him what she felt about his letter.
‘ Why couldn’t you have written that a month ago? Or even half a month ago? ’, Everything happened coincidentally for a valid reason in Bella’s book; but, that principle certainly didn’t help the brunette at the currant moment. ‘ I never thought Casey would write me something like this…when I agreed to be Skull’s girlfriend…’, That being the major problem at the currant moment, a person could easily just say ‘break up with the boyfriend’ but therein lay an even more complicated development. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to end things with Harold. Harold could be a god-awful wretch, but he was honest about his wretchedness and was making efforts to change himself, and he was improving. He also took the time to stand up for her on a few occasions when Casey had just stood there or walked away. Today, with Skull’s brother, was just one of those moments when Casey had unknowingly let the brunette down.
She just couldn’t shake the feeling that if she hadn’t been in the area, that Casey would have left Harold to lie there and suffer whatever health consequences that might occur by lack of medical attention. It was so very clear that Casey hated the ground Harold walked on, and that was the other definite problem. Skull wasn’t just trying to be a boyfriend, she and him had talked a great deal over the past few weeks and it fostered the currant relationship. Even if she broke up with Harold, she would want him in her life…that would be next to impossible if she started dating Casey. To knowingly see someone he hated would add a stress to their relationship that shouldn’t be present. With their friendship already on shaky ground, or so it seemed to be, could it handle even more stress? Harold seemed to be fine when Casey was in the room, he didn’t give any subtle death glares that she knew of…and even though she could tell it hurt to be in the same room, at least she knew that Skull didn’t hate Casey.
Every person was selfish, even those who hated themselves because of it, and Bella was no different. As much as she cared for Casey and Harold, she couldn’t be with them both. With Harold, she and Casey just might be able to stay best friends…if she was with Casey, she wasn’t sure if she could still be friends with Skull. The human desire to make everyone happy was quite conflicted by the letter Casey had written her, and Bella wasn’t sure exactly what she should do about this. She needed more time to think, and that was why she continued to say absolutely nothing to Casey. Even with him being right next to her, he could have been an entire world away for the lack of eyes she shared with him. ‘ I’m stunned Casey…I need time.’, but opening her mouth and telling him that was considerably harder to do.
Hunched over in the lobby chair with her hands clasped together in her lap, Bella just kept waiting. Trying to ignore the suffocating sensation that Casey was waiting for her to talk about the letter, like a man on one knee who just proposed. She was supposed to say something, anything, and yet when she tried to look at him the tingles of love and desire fluttered through her skin and unnerved her. Of course she still loved Casey, and desire was as much a part of wanting someone’s well-being, but it certainly made it harder for her to talk to him. She couldn’t help but feel that if she tried to say something, it would be like the kitchen, and while she knew she wouldn’t be the one to initiate any kissing, the scene kept replaying in her head and making her feel horribly guilty. As much as she loved Casey, she wasn’t his girlfriend right now.
Urged by her spirit, Bella finally sat up in the chair and turned her body to look at Casey. Trying desperately to ignore his features and natural scent, the brunette offered an awkward smile before glancing down at his hands. ‘What are you doing? You can’t hold his hand!’, Like she was wearing a ring already, Bella just ignored the temptation, held her eyes closed for a brief moment, and reopened them before pinning her eyes into Casey’s own. Not speaking was hard, but to go on without saying some of what was on her mind would steal away her ability to sleep for weeks to come…she couldn’t let that happen to either of them.
“ Casey…I --”, If only the timing could have been better planned, because the doctor walked towards them in the lobby and spoke before she could complete her sentence.
“ There you are; You the family of…”, The doctor had to look at a sheet to remember the nickname that Bella had told the man to call Harold, since he hated hearing his own name so much. Unwilling to put up with that in her impatience to know if Skull was okay, Bella just stood from the cheap lobby chairs to nervously nibble on her lip.
“ Harold Kempt?”, The doctor’s face appeared puzzled as he looked at the sheet; but then, he nodded with understanding.
“ Yes, that’s him. You the family?”, Bella wasn’t thinking; she just nodded several times. Like hell Harold’s rude brother would be here or on the emergency contact list.
“ Well Mr. Kempt suffered a mild anxiety attack, which can feel like a heart attack. He’s going to need plenty of fluids and rest for the next few days. He’ll be very weak; but, that’s natural after an attack like this. He’s resting now, and we’re going to keep him for a few hours for observation, but I think he’ll be able to go home today. Just keep him away from stress.”, Bella furiously nodded at several points before the doctor prescribed anti-anxiety medication that wouldn’t conflict with his usual meds. Nodding to the doctor and explaining that she would make sure he took the meds, Bella watched the doctor leave with a sinking feeling…knowing full well that Casey could very well ask her what she had been meaning to say the second the doctor walked around the corner…and not wishing to have that question jumped on her, Bella turned around and grabbed Casey’s hand very softly. But then fire shivered up her arm from the touch, so wonderful that it scared her, and Bella dropped his hand with the guild still gnawing in her belly.
“ Casey…”, She wasn’t aware that she whispered until the word came out, and her face contorted with embarrassment at hearing the mouse version of her voice. ‘Get some backbone girl, he’s not going to jump you in the hallway.’, closing her eyes and waiting for an imaginary blush to go away, she shook her head to and fro very quickly in a small gesture to chide herself before opening her mouth to speak. Her face lifted to him, but her chocolate browns unable to look her friend directly in the eye. Trying to avert the disaster she felt when they held eye-contact.
“ I got your letter…”, That seemed easy enough, and taking a trembling breath Bella continued: “ But…I need some time to process it. I didn’t think you…I mean…” Just great, admit you thought poorly of him. Her eyes slammed shut in pain for another moment to punish herself.
“ I was surprised to find your letter in my locker today…but that’s a good thing,”, Bella wasn’t entirely sure of that being true, but she said it to reassure him that all was well when it wasn’t. “ I just need some time to process…”, God; how was she supposed to say this? A deep wound began to throb in Bella’s heart, and it took everything not to hold her friend close and squeeze him for support like she used to do. If just holding his hand made her knees weak, she didn’t want to know what holding him would do, and she couldn’t take that chance right now.
“ I…”, she almost felt ashamed to speak. In everything Bella wanted to convey, this was the hardest thing she could possibly say. A week ago she could have just told him this information and felt nothing but a heavy heart at losing a friendship; but now, after reading Casey’s letter…that changed tenfold.
“ I’m skull’s girlfriend. ”, there. She said it…and it felt like someone speared her in the heart. It seemed a crime even, that Skull was in the hospital with an anxiety attack when she was in so much pain herself. Perhaps pregnancy hormones interrupted her moods and made everything confusion; but, it seemed that her life was an episode of the Maury show.
“…and I’m not going to break up with someone in the hospital.”, Speaking truthfully to reassure her friend, again, that all was well; Bella shook her head so lightly that it might not have looked like she had shaken her head at all. Having meant to let down her friend gently, she had failed miserably and couldn’t help but secretly chide herself. She couldn’t stop the yearning she felt for Casey, how everything seemed to make sense when he was near (if only in her heart) but that didn’t erase the confusing and torrential tug she felt for Harold. Of course, to admit to Casey that she had feelings for Harold? Bella was a wimp perhaps, but at this moment…she just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t handle another fight right now. Not when they were starting to become close again.
“ I need time to process your letter…I can’t give you an exact amount of days, but I have your letter...and I’ll be considering everything you say…and everything you do…”, It was the honest truth; she did need time to process this. They were alike in that regard, perhaps having grown to be that way from the years spent together as friends.
“ I’m so sorry that I can’t give you a definite answer right now…l-like I said I’m stunned…by your beautiful letter…but…”, Rambling slightly, the brunette glanced with her face turning towards Harold’s room in a pained, contemplative, expression. Having to forcibly tear her eyes away to try and gain the courage to look Casey in the eyes with an apologetic softness glistening over her iris’, Bella bit down on her lip before continuing her quiet, rambled, speech.
“ …Skull’s done a lot of things wrong…but I cant do this to him. Not right now…when he needs me…You know me better than you give yourself credit for…I can’t drag someone through the mud…even if they did that to me.”, once more resisting the almost undeniable urge to hold Casey’s hand, Bella couldn’t look into his eyes anymore. Feeling so horribly guilty, she looked down at her hand (which had been hovering near Casey’s hand without her knowledge for a moment) and moved it to her side.
“ I want you in my life Case. Just know, I’ve never questioned that.”, Her mouth still open for a moment, lingering per-say, Bella suddenly closed her mouth in the realization that she almost confessed the words: ‘I love you’. Growing up, she hadn’t thought twice about saying them, he was like her unofficial brother and that was perfectly fine and dandy…but saying them now…it wouldn’t mean the same thing, and to lead Casey on when she wasn’t a hundred percent sure? Bella just couldn’t do it no matter how badly she wanted to say them. Maybe she mouthed it unaware of herself, because the atmosphere in the air seemed to soothe and calm down with a relaxing texture. Perhaps she even sensed that she did so, because the guilt returned with a clawed hand and squeezed her stomach too strongly for her to bear.
“ If you go now…you’ll make your next class. Text if you want. I should go check on him.”, Rambling those words quite hurriedly unaware that she was emotionally running, Bella simply felt water welling up in her eyes and gave in to the urge to desperately flee a painful situation. Feeling like Casey magically knew she loved him, which ruined everything, the brunette assumed that Casey wouldn’t want to go into the hospital room with her, and so she said that in the hopes that he cared about his college credits more than he did about Harold. Completely disregarding that she would be in the room as well and that he might care about that. Fumbling to turn, she started to walk before half turning and making a hand gesture with trembling hands.
“ S-see you at school.”, with that Bella started to walk towards Harold’s hospital room with shaking and fumbling feet.
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:01 am
((hmm I wasn't sure any more if Casey had at any point admitted to himself that a little something Harold had been yelling at him was true.... But reading bits and pieces of that fight and some Iorwen I think he didn't... Bella... He didn't want this wake up call...))
In silence... The worst ideas tend to resurface...
“ Just…Just leave us alone. We’ve had enough of this bullshit.”
The suggestion. It was still there. Unaccepted, taken in as a lie that had kept Casey awake at night. He had ignored it tough. Bella had rendered him able to do so...
“That night after the party, me and Bella slept together.”
He couldn't string it together then and he had forced answers out of Bella of how that ever could've happened. An impersonation was the answer, but she had been terribly quick to add that she was pregnant. Perhaps to lessen the sound of rape in the background of that thought
Stop thinking about that... It's nothing, just a fluke, a terrible hoax.
Yet, here he was... With a stressed out Bella because Harold had had a heart attack of some sort. That urged the idea to resurface. An idea he had forgotten for long enough not to mention it in the letter to Bella. He was back to point one because of that. Needing to convince himself that anything being there between Harold and Bella was just friendship nothing more. I couldn't be more. No... It shouldn't.
“ Just…Just leave us alone.”
This made the ten minutes of silence especially dreadful and mostly caused Casey to absolutely not notice how fiddly Bella was at the time... Until.
“ Casey…I --”
Casey looked up at his dearest friend only to find that she was interrupted by the doctor coming in to tell them how Harold was. Despite them not really being family of the once painted male. Casey hardly paint the doctor any heed his eyes on Bella the little play of yes and no still going on in his head. When the doctor left he let his eyes follow the man's walk until he was gone ready to ask the question that Bella dreaded without him knowing.
“ Casey… I got your letter…”
Casey kept his eyes on her face trying to predict what she was going to say, but he couldn't. He wasn't some sort of seer anyhow.
“ But…I need some time to process it. I didn’t think you…I mean…”
A light chill seemed to run down Casey's spine as his mind added all she could've added after that 'I didn't think'. She didn't think he cared enough, she thought that he didn't want her, that he was liar and a f**.
“ I was surprised to find your letter in my locker today…but that’s a good thing, I just need some time to process…”
What are you getting at Billy?
Sure time he could give her, but the way she was saying it and the nervousness still radiating from her seemed to say she wanted to say more. Something she didn't really want to say. Casey wanted to take hold of Bella make her stop talking. Tell her she didn't need to tell. Yet, with all the crap going on he couldn't stop her even if his life depended on it.
“ I…”
“ I’m skull’s girlfriend. ”
Casey's mind feel silent and he seemed to expel a breath he didn't know he was holding and freeze into place at the same time. She couldn't be serious about this... The man tricked and used her and had abused every single breath of wrong her closest friend had expelled.
“…and I’m not going to break up with someone in the hospital.”
She was serious about this and Casey felt the urge to turn away from Bella. He felt deeply betrayed and really didn't want to grasp what she was saying here... He clenched his hands into fist trying his utmost best to keep a hold of himself. Instead of saying something he just stared at the ground with some confusion plastered on his face.
It was true after all...
“ I need time to process your letter…I can’t give you an exact amount of days, but I have your letter...and I’ll be considering everything you say…and everything you do…”
Casey lightly shook his head. She was going to consider everything? Like he still needed to be judged. He was too late and here he was hearing his best friend trying to get it to him as soft as she could... He wondered if he was already too late when he started writing the letter. Yet, there was no way he could tell. He might have already been too late when he broke up with Harold. There was just no telling.
“ I’m so sorry that I can’t give you a definite answer right now…l-like I said I’m stunned…by your beautiful letter…but…”
Casey lifted his eyes up to Bella's his brows furrowed in a sad expression that was only a portion of his inner self.
“ …Skull’s done a lot of things wrong…but I cant do this to him. Not right now…when he needs me…You know me better than you give yourself credit for…I can’t drag someone through the mud…even if they did that to me.”
She was doing so much, saying so much and it all hurt to hear and stung to see. She was damn beautiful and she just said that she couldn't be reached. All the rest just sounded like an excuse a silly attempt to mend a cut of head. He felt very close to just breaking on the spot. Yet, in all her word she couldn't hide the whisper of her breath.
“ I want you in my life Case. Just know, I’ve never questioned that.”
She stopped her words too dead in their tracks, not to let her ravenhead friend feel the tinge of love lingering behind it. Out of all she said... What she didn't say was enough to keep her friend standing to keep him from buckling through his legs.
“ If you go now…you’ll make your next class. Text if you want. I should go check on him.”
What?...
“ S-see you at school.”
For a moment Casey seemed like he was hit with a brick before he went after Bella and stopped her with a hand on her shoulder from continuing her path to Harold. How could say all that and then tell him to leave?
"Billy... Don't do that. Don't break open your heart like that and then tell me to leave."
Casey wasn't sure where those words came from but he just kept his mouth running with this right kind of mojo coming up.
"Besides.... Who is going to support you?"
Casey deeply hoped he didn't hit the wrong kind of string now. That she didn't just continue on and leave her closest friend just standing there like an idiot.
"I won't leave because you ask... I'll be just here."
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:39 am
For a moment Bella thought she would make it to the ‘safe zone’; but, suddenly she felt footsteps in the floor and Casey’s hand gently clasped her shoulder. ‘N-no Casey…please don’t…’, Bella stopped herself short when she realized what she had been about to think. ‘ Oh…really…you going to beg him to leave so he won’t see you cry?’ Of course! She was about to cry, and if he stayed here she would be too ashamed to rush into Harold’s room. Was she scared of Casey seeing her cry? Only slightly, but it was the idea of Casey trying to hold her that petrified her to no end. Why let him back in when he’s just going to flake again? Can you handle it when he has trouble making up his mind? Hating the accusations, Bella bit down roughly on the inside of her cheeks to stop the tears from falling. Why did Casey have to be so perfect? ‘ Why do you have to be so wonderful now?’
“ Billy…Don’t do that. Don’t break open your heart like that and then tell me to leave.”, The realization that she left a lot began to settle into the bottom of her stomach, and in shame she couldn’t turn around. She couldn’t dare turn around and look him in the eye and be overwhelmed; it would spoil everything! If she didn’t hurriedly kiss him, she would want to hold him and squeeze him to her; which could inevitably lead to the first option in a worse…more desirable…way…Images of pushing Casey into a closet to talk flashed through her mind; but, she shook her head and thought of football guys to try and disturb her enough to not think of anything heated or endearing.
“ Besides…who is going to support you?”, Oh that was funny. If not for Bella being too emotionally tender to realize the irony, she might have laughed. Instead; her eyes softened in a pained expression. ‘ I hoped that…you would.’ He was the most likely candidate to be the father of her baby, and it would only be right that he help support him or her…of course, Casey might not have been talking about that, and her brain could be jumping ahead to conclusions. Did he mean emotionally? Because up until lately, it had only been Io and Harold around to take care of her. ‘ Now I don’t even have Io around.’, Feeling blind to everything of value, Bella just bit down on her lip.
“ I won’t leave because you ask…I’ll be just here.”
“ Why?”, It took Bella around three seconds to realize she actually said that out loud, and the moment she did, she turned around with a broken gasp and clutched onto Casey’s hand. Protecting herself was one thing, pushing Casey away (potentially forever) was not something she could handle...and so her fingers tried to tug Casey’s sleeve. However, as she was about to speak, she realized that at the right angle Harold could see their conversation. She didn’t want to explain anything that made it seem like ‘Casey made her cry’, and so to not worry Harold and be able to truly converse with her friend…Bella saw a hallway and tried to lead Casey down it. Seeing a bathroom (male and female), Bella didn’t think about how it would look before trying to tug her friend inside. Once there, her face tightened in a pained expression and she held her fingers against the fabric of his shirt sleeve.
“ I’m so sorry I said that; it wasn’t what I meant or what it sounded like at all…”, Shaking her head, Bella broke eye contact to look down at her feet. Seeing Casey’s shoes instead of her own, her chin raised from the floor and her watery eyes connected with her friend’s once more in a deeply apologetic look.
“ I said ‘why’ because I thought you hated Harold. I don’t want you miserable Casey. You’ll be miserable if you stay here…I mean…I know you’re only here for me…Harold…isn’t going to heal well if he wakes up and sees you when he knows you hate him. The doctor said ‘no stress’.”, Rambling as always, the brunette shook her head before leaning in to give her friend a warm hug. An embrace that, in hindsight, should not have been given…because she could smell his cologne, and feel his warmth…and it flashed unwanted, but wonderful, memories through her brain. Speaking against Casey’s shoulder, Bella hid her face in shame for enjoying Casey’s presence so much.
“ I…” , unable to verbalize the unspoken words from earlier, Bella closed her mouth and tightly clamped her eyes shut.
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 4:25 am
“ Why?”
Casey was pretty sure his neck froze at that moment, but then it seemed that Bella had said something that she didn't want to say out loud. For a moment Casey glanced to the place where he knew Harold was laying in a bed and he wondered if the man could hear a word from what they were saying. Casey didn't want him to though and felt ever so inclined to start whispering from this point on. Yet, before he had to or needed to he found himself tugged to the privacy of a bathroom.
You have no idea what this looks like Bill... Casey thought at Bella but he remained silent only knowing how hard his heart was beating. How hard his whole body was trying to overcome restraint and just kiss Bella, just love his dearest friend, his greatest love. Her eyes were too beautiful to bear... Even in sadness.
“ I’m so sorry I said that; it wasn’t what I meant or what it sounded like at all…”
Then what did she mean?
“ I said ‘why’ because I thought you hated Harold. I don’t want you miserable Casey. You’ll be miserable if you stay here…I mean…I know you’re only here for me…Harold…isn’t going to heal well if he wakes up and sees you when he knows you hate him. The doctor said ‘no stress’.”
She was doing it again. Trying to push him away. Doctor this that, all excuses. Sure Casey hated Harold, but that didn't mean he could be in the hospital for Bella. He was convinced he didn't need to be in Harold's room to be any form of support for Bella.
"Billy stop that..."
He let her hug him, returning it tighter than he should, because he didn't want to let go. He didn't want to leave and spend the rest of this miserable day alone in school thinking about all she was saying and rambling. He just wanted to be near Bella and feel her warmth and underneath that... Her care and love.
“ I…”
Casey swallowed tightly, just knowing that it was still on her breath. They knew each other far too well and Casey felt almost bad for tugging at his Billy-bee the way he was doing and had done. Casey breathed in deeply before he spoke, because if he didn't his voice would've faltered as he took hold of her face and forced her to look up at him.
"I know Billy..." He said tears balancing at the rims of his eyes. He seemed to pull her closer or lean in more until they lips were close enough for their lips to brush and their breaths to mingle. Yet, he didn't kiss her. The predicament that was behind her confession and all the times he had left stopped Casey from actually placing the full action on top of the weight resting on both of them.
"I'll be waiting for you..." Casey whispered his voice barely still stable. "If you get back out of his room." Casey kept holding on to Bella like that for what seemed an eternity, but neither of them seemed capable to actually connect or breathe more than little bits. Until Casey's brain seemed to react and tell him to let go.
you need to let go... It's too soon or to late.
He still hesitated, but slowly Casey let go of her torn face.
"Go visit him..." Casey then said when he finally found something that counted as a respectable distance. She better not stay here for much longer before it became to much to bear.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:29 pm
Even after speaking the failed attempt at a declaration, Casey’s tight arms seemed to squeeze her more as his lungs took in a breath. Unsure what Casey was about to do, her old friend brushed his hand under her chin and raised her eyes up to look at his face.
“ I know Billy…”, Bella nearly closed her eyes at how sweet it was to hear Casey call her that old nickname. It had been far too long since they were alone like this, on such good terms as this, and yet she felt so powerfully pained. Regardless of what shone in her own, there were tears in Casey’s eyes, and she felt so awful for doubting him. While he may have been ‘flake-ish’ in all his earlier actions, she saw the proof of his letter right there; glistening against his iris’. Feeling Casey’s enfolding arms draw her into a tighter embrace, it was like the air had been stolen from her lungs, and she had forgotten how to breathe. Casey’s mouth was barely a scant inch from her own, and without thinking of it her mouth brushed against his lips for the briefest of moments. Like a cat showing brisk affection was the manner in which she caressed the gentle skin as her eyes half closed. But Casey didn’t kiss her, and he was right not to.
“ I’ll be waiting for you…”, Billy’s brown eyes couldn’t help but water at the warmth of Casey’s words brushing against her skin. Tempting, tantalizing, it was very strange that a person’s breath could actually effect a person in a positive way; but, only in this instance was the fantasy a reality. It was a unique and peculiarly wonderful taste that made her skin tingle and her knees begin to weaken. ‘ What ARE you DOING? Think of Skull! You’re with Skull! Don’t let Casey overpower your senses with a few words!’ As much as her brain tried to scorn her, aside from doing everything to keep thinking of how wonderful it had been to kiss that painted man in a bathroom to try and quell the desire to kiss Casey now, which may or may not be working, she didn’t feel miserable. There was too much bliss in Casey’s embrace to feel any misery, and though she knew she couldn’t kiss him, god…did she want to.
So it was a very good thing that Casey let her go…because if he held onto her for just a few more moments Bella would have kissed him. In hindsight she realized that she did a good thing by not kissing him, because it wouldn’t have been fair to her friend, but in this moment when pheromones were tantalizing her nerves, she almost wanted to cry because she wasn’t in his arms anymore. Slowly, Casey let go of her face, and with a pained expression she accepted that it had to be done.
“ Go visit him…”, Bella’s eyes welled up with a strange light of awareness that morphed into confusion. ‘ What?’, Casey moved to a more respectable distance from her, and Bella began to slowly shake her head. ‘ All that talk of me closing you out, and you saying you’re not leaving, and you tell me to go back alone?’, It didn’t get occur to the brunette that Casey could be struggling from his urges as much as she was; and so she looked at the sink as if the fixture could provide her with the perfect reason to hold her tongue…but she found no excuse, and so she shook her head a little more and softly crossed her arms over her chest. It was in pinching the fabric that the beginnings of her pregnant belly were able to be seen; but, she didn’t notice that when she took a few steps forward and gave her friend a sisterly hug; gently kissing the man’s cheek…lingering her mouth only long enough to truly feel that he was still there in the room with her.
“ Alright…but when you’re done here, please come back to the hospital room. For me…can you…pretend to forgive Skull?”, Bella didn’t expect or want to hear an answer, so she hugged Casey and left the bathroom. If and when he showed up, Bella would have smiled and patted the seat next to her. Harold stayed asleep for at least an hour, but when he woke up…she thought he might be angry when his eyes saw her hand clutching onto Casey’s. Strangely, Skull didn’t seem the least bit phased by it, and even tried to offer Casey a weak smile. Soon after that Casey took Harold home, and Bella stayed behind with him after confessing the situation between her and Iorwen.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 1:24 am
God... It was horrible not answering his feelings and urges and wants and needs. He had so wanted to kiss Bella and he was full of that fire calling for it. It was hard and terribly painful, but hopefully... For the better. Her giving one last hug and distant kiss wasn't really helping, but not doing anything was easy enough.
“] Alright…but when you’re done here, please come back to the hospital room. For me…can you…pretend to forgive Skull?”
He wasn't going to get away with this was he? Pretend to forgive Skull... He couldn't just do that. Not when Bella had practically told her she had been stolen away. He watched her leave the bathroom and just stood there a few moments before groaning desperately and then angrily kicking the nearest sink.
He stayed in the bathroom for at least another ten minutes trying his utmost best to get his emotions in line. He had live with a poker-face to hide behind instead. Pretending... Harold would know that he wasn't forgiven... Casey was sure of that. He rejoined Bella in the painted man's hospital room. He was glad Harold wasn't awake yet. Casey stared at Bella for a moment when he found her clutching his hand, but he left it without a comment. He wouldn't complain. When Harold woke up though Casey was unable to return the man's weak smile and simply avoided giving any form of dislike of with his expression.
Of course he took them home, he was the driver after all. Yet, he was curious as to why Bella was still staying with him instead of going back to her place. The whole story with Iorwen left Casey somewhat worried about how many friends Bella was still keeping.
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