The Potato: 9-13-06 The Final Issue?

[Lar Gand]

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[Lar Gand]

The Potato

Open up the flood gates in your mind that you might be set free
Open up the windows left behind and stand in what could be


Lar Gand, Publisher
Bernard Dillon, Editor-In-Chief
Roger Cooper, Staff Writer
George Sloane, Staff Writer

Gand Robot Runs Amuck
Lar Gand's AI/robot companion Babbage verbally and sexually harrashed several members of Kapow! this week after being reprogrammed by Kelex, the robot who acts as caretaker to the Fortress of Solitude. "I only told Kelex to make it possibler for the robot I found able to be used by Babbage. Kelex went overboard and overhauled Babbage too." Babbage went from a generally friendly ship AI to a crude, foul-mouthed, obnoxious troublemaker who seemed to act like a rap star. Kelex refused to return Babbage to his previous state, so Gand was forced to ask Kitty Pryde for help. Pryde worked the AI over evn though it had said awful things about her. Babbage seems to be normal again, although Gand noted Babbage's new-found fondess for daytime TV talk shows and Cat's Laughing.

Mystique Slandered by N00bs
Raven Darkholme has become a target of the mentally challenged and the sexually frustrated in the wake of X-Men: The Last Stand. Called a whore and a slut for her sexual promiscuity and prowness, Darkholme has been incensed over the attacks on her character. Darkholme is a known murderer, terrorist, and assassin, but to question her sexual exploits without examining others is unfair. d**k Grayson has taken no less than three other members of Kapow! as lovers, and Tony Stark is one of the the most promiscuous men in the United States. Ms. Darkholme also is known for her integrity and convictions. To simply focus her private matters narrow-minded and rediculous.

Iron Man Rumored To Be Creating New World Order
Anthony Stark, also known as the Invicible Iron Man to the members of Kapow!, is a man of great knowledge and foresight. He knew about Superhuman Registration Act before most. He predicted the Stamford Massacre, and the resulting conflict. He tried to convince prominent members of the superhuman commity to comply with the Act. When he testified before Congress about the Act, he was assaulted by the Titanium Man, who hadn't been seen for years. That attacked swayed many Congressmen into acting. Some have begun to question where this knowledge and foresight has come from, including Walter Kovacs, Rorschach. "Stark was thrown out of the White House. He lost a lot of power, a lot of clout thanks to the Scarlet Witch. She loses control again, remakes the world. Stark isn't safe anymore. Wanda can take everything away in a blink. He doesn't like that. He's a futurist. He decides to make the future. His future. Gets powers for himelf. Moves the pawns around. Spider-Man, the Avengers, the Warriors, the villains, Congress, they're all pieces. Innocent people die when Stark detonates Nitro. Money, favors, force and now Iron Man's close to getting back in the boy's club. Stark will become one of most powerful men to ever live. Stark is guilty. GUILTY."

Captain Atom Poisoning Bludhaven?
Bludhaven, former home to several member of the Bat-Family, has been off-limits for a year due to the Society's Chemo-bomb. However, for those outside the city wanting to return to their homes, someting doesn't click. SHADE has been operating in the city for months, without explanation. A story has circulated in the refugee camps. A man is producing radiation, and SHADE has been harvesting the results. That man? Nathaniel Adams, Captain Atom. The US goverment and SHADE have denied all the allegations, yet refuse to tell anyone what is really happening. Can it be true? Is the US killing it's own citizens to make an army of super-soldiers? We'll investigate further.

Cosplay Daze Week Four Winner: Peter Benjamin Parker
Congradulations to Peter for his costumed portrayal of the tiny leader of the blue men, Papa Smurf.

Got questions, comments, suggestions? PM our publisher or email us at potato_staff@witty.com.