Welcome to Gaia! ::

((It's raining here too. D: I mean I love rain...but not when you've gotta walk to school in it haha.

And Econ homework is the bomb digity man!

CEPT NOT REALLY. LOLOLOL.))

Gabriel sat still as Alice spoke to him. He opened his eyes and watched her as she leaned towards Abel. "They're allowed to, but I don't want him to go through...the things I know are out there. He just shouldn't..." He paused when she looked at him and Gabriel glanced away. "I don't doubt Talen wants to protect him, but there are things...that not even I can protect people from." He said quietly as she left.

He looked over to Abel for a moment and then sat back, folding his arms and watching the boy, doubt flickering in his mind. He wasn't sure what he should do. With a sigh he closed his eyes and let his mind wander.

((Lala so they all took a snooze.))

Abel woke up with the sun again. His eyes flickered up and he moved to get up and then took a gasp of air, cringing in pain when he tried to sit up. His breath caught in his throat and he bit back a yelp when he touched his side. There was pain in his arm, but now there was an agonizing one stitched into his side.

Gabriel was instantly by the couch, frowning down at Abel who was trying to push himself up. "Need help?" He asked, Abel looked up, still wincing in pain. Gabriel pulled the boy up into a sitting position and eased his shirt up. On Abel's side was what looked like the exact same wound that he had healed on Talen not but a day ago.

Abel looked to it and looked up to Gabriel, confusion in his eyes. A thousand questions came to his mouth but before he could speak, Gabriel was pulling him up and walking outside with him. Abel gasped at the sudden movement, almost tumbling as he was dragged to the front steps. Gabriel closed the door and pushed Abel down on the steps. He let out a cry of pain and Gabriel turned around.

"That's what happens when you try to control things that aren't to be messed with. You should have let nature take its course, Abel. There are some things that not even I can play with."

"But I was just helping him and I didn't think it'd-"

"That's right, you didn't think. If we could all heal whoever we wanted, the world wouldn't have aches and pains, but it has to have those to have the ups as well. It's balance, you shouldn't mess with it." Gabriel narrowed his eyes and looked over to Abel who was looking absolutely at ends. "That's not the only reason I came down here..."

"I can't...I want to stay here...Please..." Abel said, staring at his knees, brows knitted and lips tugged to a frown. As Gabriel said nothing, Abel's eyes moved up to him, the look of pleading blatant on his face. "I HAVE to stay! I can't leave them now! They...they make me..."

"Happy."

Abel sighed and nodded, touching his bruised arm softly. "I haven't...I mean..." He paused and lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes with shadows. "I've wanted to feel like this for a long time. I don't care if I am in pain or if I get beaten and bruised up. I actually feel like I..."

"Abel...you can't stay with them forever." Gabriel sat down next to him and stretched out his legs, watching the sun rise. "This was why Hans and I were worried about sending you down here. You'd get attached, you'd want to stay forever. You don't age anymore, they do. Staying here with them means you'll see them age before your eyes, watch their lives move, watching them slowly die. They'll be seventy, sixty, something, and you'll still be eighteen." He tilted his head towards the younger angel who was still covering his face.

"I'd rather see that happen and be WITH them, then see it happen and have to watch from afar." Abel said so quietly that only Gabriel would ever hear his words. The dark man smiled slightly and looked away. "Please...can't you just give me another chance? I can do whatever it is I was supposed to do here. I promise I can."

"That's not my choice."

"Than can't you...ask them and leave me here while you do?"

"Abel, you have to come with me."

Abel's face lifted and something like grief flooded his eyes. "I won't."

"You have to. The council already said to take you with me."

"I can't!" Abel jumped up and then grimaced as pain shot up his side. "I won't go!" Tears swelled his blue eyes and he shook his head. "Why? I'd rather be in pain with them than in pain without them! There's no difference, you'd just cause me more pain by taking me away!" His voice got louder, more frantic. When Gabriel stood up and walked over, Abel took two steps back and glanced around. "No!"

"Abel, please. Don't do this."

((LONGER THAN IT SHOULD BE HAHAHA. Dramaaaa. What will happen?

Next episode! ...what...))

((Haha it's okay! I got to watch Seven Pounds anyways and do my homework. D: MAN THAT MOVIE MADE ME CRY LIKE SEVEN TIMES NO KIDDING. It was so depressing...which made it wonderful. :< I was like about to start bawling at the end.

Oh Will Smith...you and your sad movies...))

Both Gabriel and Abel looked up when Talen came out of the door. Abel quickly turned around and put a hand to his eyes, rubbing them and looking down, his fingers trembling and his heart fluttering a hundred miles per hour. Everything was building up on top of him and he just wanted to run away from it all. All his emotions, feelings, and memories were clawing for some way to get out and he didn't want them to do that. He may have been weak, but he didn't want to show any more weakness by completely letting go of everything.

Gabriel's eyes hardened onto Talen. After a minute he looked back to Abel who was obviously trying hard not to break, his fingers tight and his shoulders even tighter. Gabriel looked to the side and frowned. "Abel...you have to understand. This wasn't my choice. The council specifically asked me to take you back. They decided you weren't ready for this. We thought you'd handle it...but you can't...Hans and I weren't expecting complications."

Abel tightened his lips and felt his legs weaken a little. Having Talen see him like this made him feel small. There was something about having to stand there under intense pressure and intense stress that made Abel even worse than he already was. "I'm not going, Gabriel..." he said with a strained voice, glancing to the other angel with a face full of grief, sadness, and an overwhelming look of loss. "I've found...this is what I've been missing..."

"Abel, I understand. Trust me, I've seen all of what you've gone through before any of this. But..." He caught Abel's eyes and in them he saw years of age, the deep pain in them made Gabriel stop, regret kicking him in the stomach. "Go on, just come back before I worry."

Abel slowly turned around and walked away. Gabriel stayed where he was and looked over to Talen. "Don't chase after him, Talen. If anything happens to him, I'll be sure to know. For now, let him be alone." His eyes then turned to Alice and he raised his brows. "You mind feeding a cold, relentless, a** hole?"

((Haha Abel will get where he is going next post...I'd figured I'd hold it up till then...

Edit: BUT I want to say this. If you end up making Talen go after Abel, hold it off for a bit...haha or make him dawdle or something...))

((Hahaha GOOD.))

Gabriel sighed softly when Talen walked inside without a word. It was understandable, so he didn't do anything about it. Instead he followed Alice inside and closed the door behind him. He had seen the look Alice had given him, but didn't say anything, knowing if she actually wanted to say something, she would in time.

"I know. Otherwise I wouldn't have trusted him with Abel. Everyone has their flaws, no matter how good natured they are. That's what being human is about." He smiled weakly and then rubbed at his forehead. "Ah...a beer would be wonderful, if you have any that is. Otherwise, anything is fine." He laughed shallowly and slid into a seat, stretching out his arms.

"Thank you."

((Hahaha even Angels enjoy an occasional alcoholic beverage of CHOICE. Specially bad asses like Gabriel...))

By the time Abel reached the hospital, he was worn out. His breathing was heavy and the wound on his side hurt, burned, and stung. The pain somehow kept him grounded, reminding him he was still on Earth, he was still here. He hadn't felt pain like this in a long time, both physical and emotional. It only brought back the memories he had long forgotten, memories he'd have rather not remember.

Slowly, after catching his breath, he walked in and looked around. A nurse passed by and he touched her shoulder. She instantly turned around. "Ummm...I'm here to see Saul? I was here yesterday, I wanted to check on him, see if he was still okay."

The nurse smiled to Abel, more of a worried smile. "Sure. You okay sweetie?" She glanced down at Abel's hand which was bruised, as well as his upper arm.

"Oh, yes." He said with an easy smile. The nurse nodded slowly before showing Abel to Saul's room.

"Here you are, I'll get you some ice for those bruises, okay?" The nurse smiled to him and walked away as Abel silently opened the door, his fake smile fading away. He didn't want to be here. The last place he wanted to be was here, in a hospital, talking to Saul. He'd have rather gone somewhere far away, by himself, and let it all out. But he had to listen to that instinct on the inside of his heart, forcing him to come here, something told him talking to someone was better than being alone. And that someone, that thing said, was Saul. Abel didn't understand it himself, but there was a strange connection there, a sort of unspoken similarity between the two that made Abel feel as if he'd understand.

"Saul?" Abel said quietly, standing in the door way, eyes shadowed. "Are you awake?"

(( YAY! ))

Gabriel took the beer from her and laughed. "Beer is always good." He said calmly and put it to his lips, tipping some into his throat and swallowing. It felt wonderful. His dark blue eyes looked to Alice when she posed her question and he let out a dark laugh, tilting his head back and flashing his teeth.

"Oh. You're good." He leaned back again and took another swig of beer. "Everything is beautiful in its own right. So I'd say yes to your question. They are, but so are you, and the sun, and even the dirt we walk on. People just have to look for it, once you see it, it kind of makes life a bit more bearable, for me it did. I realized how beautiful life was, even the hardest lives to live...were worth living, you know? Life is a gift, the best gift ever given, it's a shame to waste it only looking on the ugly side of things."

With a shrug he drank some more and looked to the side, watching out the window with tired eyes.

((That's my philosophy on life anyways! It's boring seeing the ugly things...))

Abel looked up when Saul shifted his head to see him. A broken smile flitted on Abel's face before the nurse from before came in, handing him a bag of ice. "Oh...thank you." He said graciously and closed the door when she left. He inched his way over to Saul's bed and slid into a seat next to him, staring at the bag of ice. "He's at home..." Abel whispered and poked the ice inside the bag, fiddling with it idly, his face confused and unsure.

"I wanted to tell you that I lied to you the other day." His eyes flickered to the floor as he moved the bag of ice side to side. "Twice. I keep thinking about it, and I feel horrible. You asked me what I did back in the waiting room, and I said I didn't know what you were talking about. Well I did know what you meant." He raised his bruised hand, still staring at his knees. After he set his hand back down he frowned deeper. "And then you asked me if something was wrong when Talen was in the bathroom...and I said I was okay." His heart skipped a bit and he lowered his head, trying to hide his face, mostly his hesitant eyes that could show everything he was feeling. "I lied than too...I wasn't okay...and everything is wrong. Everything is absolutely wrong."

He took a shaky breath and squeezed the melting ice nervously. "I don't know why I even came here. I just felt like you'd listen and understand. It's really bizarre, I know, and I don't blame you if you think I'm a complete crazy nut-case or anything. Because I probably am, no not probably, I know for SURE I am crazy." He laughed unevenly and finally placed the bag on his bruised hand. Eyes searching the ground for some unseen answer to his problems.

"I'm sorry...I can leave if you want. You need your rest." He smiled, glancing very quickly to Saul and moving to get up.

((Hahaha. He's a WEIRDO. D:< ))

Gabriel blinked and looked slightly on spot. "Ah, no no...it was just an example...you much more beautiful than dirt...that didn't come out right either though. So I'll be quiet." He laughed and followed her gaze again, frowning slightly.

"There's always something about coming back that makes you feel miserable. You get so used to everything being perfect, feeling happy all the time. But you get back to life and you realize just how much is messed up with the world. It's a sad thing...and I think for Abel, it's worse, because he blames everything on himself. I've never gone a day with him without an apology for something I never even noticed. He'd say sorry for just standing there." Gabriel shook his head and draped an arm around the back of his chair, spreading out his legs. "He's always been really hard on himself. He doesn't understand that no one is perfect, and no one can help everyone, no one can fix everyone's problems. He just doesn't understand that. So when he can't help someone, or can't do something right, he beats himself up for it."

He became silent, drinking some more beer and licking his lips.

---

Abel looked to Saul when he grabbed his wrist. He gave an empty laugh and sat down again. His eyes moved away from Saul as the boy spoke, avoiding eye contact. "Thank you..." he said quietly and smiled, eyes narrowing as they watered up. He took his hand and messed his hair, fingers still trembling.

"But...I am..." He said and looked back up to Saul, frowning. "Whenever I try to help, it always just gets worse. No matter what I've ever done for anyone, I just ruin it all. I just never do anything right." His eyes darkened and he looked away again, watching the wall. What was he doing? This was completely ridiculous. He felt so selfish throwing all of his problems at Saul when the kid was sitting in a hospital in an awful condition. He should have been letting Saul do the throwing, he should have been letting Saul complain and whine.

"How selfish I am..." he whispered. "How selfish to sit here whining and complaining to you about my petty concerns. I'm not here to help myself. I'm not here to throw all my life stories and problems at people who deserve so much more. If I can't even help one person...than maybe I do need to go. Maybe this was all just a big misunderstanding." He tilted his head and closed his eyes, pushing back any of those weak signs of tears. "I want to stay because I feel wanted here...because I feel like I could belong for once since I can remember. If my reason for staying is just for myself, than why SHOULD I stay?" A smile came to his lips, though it was broken, it seemed lost on his somehow crumbled face.

((STOP BEING A BABY AND SUCK IT UP YA BIG LOSER. Hahaha.))

Gabriel nodded solemnly. "The kid's amazing, he truly is. I've never met someone who cared so much for everyone, even people that paid him no attention. If he saw someone hurt, he'd help them. It's hard to find that in people, even I'm a little biased every now and then. It seems that the most kind and generous of people are the most distant and constricted." He looked to his beer and shook it around, watching the liquid inside splash around.

"Alice...could I ask you a question? A personal question. If you don't want to tell me. I understand, somethings are better left untouched." His eyes strayed on her face as he took a breath. "Why do you and your brother live alone?"

(( You're such a busy body! GOSH GABE.))

Abel's eyes widened and he flinched noticably when Saul sat up so quickly. A pain shot in his side, causing him to wince. As Saul spoke vividly to him, Abel stared directly at him, a look of shock and confusion on his face. The way the boy spoke about him made his heart ache in that amazingly good way. It made him wonder how he got attached to people in such a short amount of time, why Saul could talk so passionately towards Abel when only knowing him for the length close to a day or so. It made him feel a bit warmer, but it also hurt him even more, knowing when he was forced to leave it make cause more pain than he expected.

As Saul lowered his head, Abel stood up and pushed the boy gently back onto the bed. "Be careful..." He muttered and took a step back. It was only then he felt moisture on his cheek, vision blurred from the water in his eyes. His brows knitted and he quickly rubbed at his face, jaw tightening. "I don't understand..." he finally said after a minute of rubbing his face. "How can you say those things when you don't know me?" He furiously rubbed at his eyes and swallowed.

The words caught in his throat and he continued to wipe at his eyes, his chest aching and his side burning. He tried so hard to understand why everyone had to be so nice to him, so caring and open towards him. He didn't deserve that. He couldn't even keep Saul out of the hospital or Talen from skipping school, so why was he in the company of people who were too kind to him?

"It would have been so much easier if you hated me..." he forced from his clenched throat, licking his lips and trying to focus on Saul. "I wish you were like everyone before you, just ignored me, or disliked everything I did. It would have made this so much easier...it would made me feel less guilty..." he laughed and rubbed more tears from his eyes. "Saul...I...I have to..." He drew his feet up into the chair and shoved his face between his knees, burying himself away. He felt so stupid, so weak, so shameful.

He squeezed his eyes shut and before he could stop himself, tears were streaming down his face.

Gabriel listened quietly to Alice, noticing how she said what she did. He frowned but then looked up when Talen came into the doorway. Gabriel's eyes watched him as he spoke and Gabriel laughed with Alice.

"I'll try my best to." He said with a bit of a joking tone, eyes still not leaving Talen, as if looking for something in him, some sort of reason or answer. He then finally looked back to Alice. "I knew there was a reason I left Abel here. Hans told me that Abel would be comfortable and feel good around you. But now I've realized that he didn't mean just because you two are good people, but because you and Abel share more in common than just an open heart."

((Lalala.))

Abel desperately tried to stop, but his anguish just kept pouring out. He felt as though he had held it in for a hundred years, that voice always telling him if he cried it'd make him even weaker. If he cried he'd be a failure. And here he was, crying. His fingers tightened around his legs and he took a deep breath but ended up gasping instead.

When Saul set next to him, Abel tried to say something but couldn't manage a single word, instead he felt more tears come out. He let Saul wrap an arm around his shoulders. He wanted to say so many things, confess so much, but he couldn't.

He forced his head up, face wet from tears and twisted with pain. "I wish..." He gasped and looked away, face hot and eyes as wet as the ocean. "I wish you guys had been in my life. It's so selfish. But I've wondered if that would have changed how long it had lasted...how happy it could have been." He rubbed at his face with his arm and sniffed. "I only think that it would have lasted longer...I would have smiled...truly smiled more...and laughed. I know this is self-centered and ridiculous of me to say...but I look back on my life and I feel like it...wasn't..." He rubbed again and shook his head.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I don't think you should have to be listening to me say these things and cry like some little kid..."

((Haha I know it's hard to post to... D: Usually stuff like that IS. haha.))