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 Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:34 pm
[Satomi is brought from th Hotel with Sosuke to the Park] For most of the walk; Sosuke would notice that for the first time, Satomi's expression showed she was actually a bit... scared. Even though her eyes were covored, every now and then it was obvious by the curve of her lips, or a slight tremble here or there, or the occasional shift in her position that she didn't like being blindfolded. What made her this way was personal, and she didn't dare say, but since she was with a person she trusted, she remained during the whole walk, until finally...
"S-Sosuke-kun.. d-did you do this?" She said in an astonished tone, nearly getting up had she not realized she would have knocked the table over if she had. It was all so strange, so sudden. 'Why would he...? He didn't have to. He shouldn't have done this, she really didn't deserve it. It must have cost him so much! But why is he doing it for me...?'
"It's wonderful..." For awhile, she was clueless about it, and honestly, she still didn't grasp the point of all this, she wasn't really used to this sort of thing. A bounty of food, a beautiful evening sky, the serene scenery around her. All of it was such... bliss. "But.. I-I couldn't..." She began, shaking off the faint redness on her face, as she looked away, her glasses having a slight glare upon them that hid the sadder expression in her eyes. She didn't feel like she deserved any of this, seeing him spend his good money for her; it didn't feel right.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:22 pm
"Of course you can. Embrace it." Sosuke smiled, reaching into his kimono coat, and taking out a few hundred dollar bills. "I am eager to spend this money. This is all I have left. No more." He smiled, seating Satomi across from him, and taking a pitcher. Reaching over the table with ease, Sosuke plucked her champagne glass, and poured the drink into it. What went into her glass was no alcohol, but a sparkling water, colored a faint yellow. "It's tea-flavored sparkling water." Sosuke said quickly, for fear she might be cautious of Sosuke's food choices.
After Sosuke poured himself a glass, he lifted it to his lips, and took a little sip, before placing it down on the table. "I am perfectly happy to spend this money on you, Satomi-chan. But, enough about me." Sosuke put away the money back in his kimono coat, and leaned forward onto the table. "Why do you always think that you can't, or you couldn't have something luxurious? Do you not see that you deserve it?" Sosuke asked in a low tone, a worried expression on his face. Perhaps he was being too bold, by asking that.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:50 pm
She still didn't see why he had to spend his hard earned money on her. It was his, so why would he spend so much of it for her? Seeing the small wad of money, she only found herself shaking her head a little, falling silent for a bit as she took the drink he offered her, still seeming reluctant about the whole situation. She didn't take a sip just yet though, looking down at it for a moment as she found herself looking at her pale, distorted reflection in the sparkling water, frowning a but more as a pained expression began to breach her eyes.
"No.. you're not happy." She said suddenly, almost sounding blunt as she never looked his way, still looking at her reflection in the wine like drink before she drew a short sigh. "You want me happy... but you can't even find it for yourself Sosuke; I know you well enough to realize that by now." Sounding both certain and a little regretful as she said this. She wasn't trying to upset him, but she knew the truth, and even if he was trying to make her happy, she didn't feel the need for him to lie or try to acomplish something that was impossible for someone like himself.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:01 pm
After Satomi said that, there was a silence that followed. "Maybe." Sosuke finally said, in a whisper. "Perhaps I was never happy hunting down vampires. Perhaps I was never happy hearing my father boast of a kill. Maybe...I was never happy to even come here, for fear I might hurt someone. Or..." Sosuke chuckled to himself softly. "Or that someone would rat me out to my father."
"But is it so wrong to wish someone else happiness when you yourself cannot get it? Not everyone can be happy. Sometimes...life just doesn't allow it." He nodded, looked up at the sky. "My father will come someday, whether it be years or weeks from now. I can't hurt him. I won't. He's my father, my own blood. He won't be satisfied just letting me run and escape. He will be happy when I die by his own hands." Sosuke's head went back to look at Satomi across the table. "In that short time, what can I do? Run more? No. I have to face him one day, but before that, I want to leave in impression, and help my friends. I don't want to be forgotten. I want my friends to remember the times that I spent with them, as happy times, that they were happy." Sosuke admitted, taking out the cash again.
"But, this doesn't make you happy, does it?" With a sudden jerk of his hand, he lit the wad on fire, and crumpled it up when it was done burning. "The purest of humans don't need money to be happy. Maybe I'm not happy. Maybe I can never be happy. But, how can I help you to have a good night?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:15 pm
As Sosuke spoke, and even went so far as to burn the remaining money and spoke about his destiny to die from his father, Satomi didn't show much of a reaction. She never even looked his way, her eyes distant, like she was looking off the horizan at something. She didn't seem to smile, nor frown, her expression only looking slightly pained, but otherwise... empty.
"You're so focused on you're own demise.. that you never seem to realize when someone reaches out to help." She said flatly, still holding the glass, but never taking a sip of it, simply letting it fizzle silently in her soft grip, her words barely past a whisper. "You'll just roll over and let him take you away..." She did sound somewhat depressed as this, the entire aura about her actually being quite plain and dull, like she was becoming empty as this conversation continued. She wouldn't speak of why this all seemed to bother her so much, but even after Sosuke spoke about his father and how one day he would be gone; it was like she hardly seemed to even be fazed by this, never even answering his last question either as she decided to stay silent, taking a slow sip of the tea flavored beverage while she continued to look ahead.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:34 pm
"So, you'd prefer that I just kill him, and be done with it, and just live on?" Sosuke asked, his tone dangerously steely. This Satomi that sat in front of him, was it the real Satomi? Was the optimistic, bubbly Satomi that Sosuke had first met just an illusion? Good god, add a cigarette to her other hand, and it might just be the real Satomi.
"Maybe I'm just looking to the day that I die, and that I don't see anything else. It's a bad habit. I admit it. But if someone offers me help, then they'll get hurt too. Is that what you want?!" Sosuke asked, clenching his fists. His eyes were directed at Satomi, and his teeth were bared, his fangs visible. After a long minute to Sosuke, he broke his gaze, and released his fists, and let out a heavy sigh. "Why? Why does you voice sound so...flat?" Sosuke asked, getting off of his seat, and crouching down on the ground next to her. "Where is the Satomi that I know? Where is she?"
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:45 pm
"No matter what happens... someone would get hurt. Just remember, physical pain can be healed, but the pain of losing someone close lasts forever." She said back at him, this time not taking her time to reply, as if she had that answer in store the entire time; like she knew exactly how Sosuke had felt, or what that kind of pain felt like.
She didn't look towards Sosuke, but she had given her answer. She wanted Sosuke to live and to fight back, she wanted him to take the help that was offered and to stand against his father when the time came that he was wanted for dead. She didn't care what he was, she knew not all vampires were dark and twisted. Why else would she have already befriended Evangaline, and now Driviline and Sosuke? She could see past that, she saw them as real people too; not a menace. But despite how she felt about Sosuke, her emotions defied that as she failed to show it, still remaining blank and expressionless as Sosuke brought this up.
"I'm right here Sosuke-kun..." She said slowly, managing a slight curve of her lips; though it was very clear that it had been forced, even somewhat pained.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:55 pm
Sosuke cocked his head to one side, as if confused. "Are you sure, Satomi-chan? Have you really found yourself? Or are the muscles in your cheeks growing weary of faking a smile, to help someone?"
Slowly, Sosuke stood up, and looked at Satomi with a sad expression. "This conversation is starting to sound very familiar. Do you remember when I told you and Driviline that I wanted to leave the academy? Both of you said that I should stay, and that you would help me. Sounding familiar?" Sosuke ran a hand through his red hair, letting a sigh escape. "I can't change who I am, Satomi-chan. I grew up with the idea that vampires should be killed. I am always going to have that part of me, that part that will agree with my father. I can't fight back my father. I will never hurt him. I've hurt him enough by becoming a vampire. And, my mother. If I kill my father, not only will I be hurt, but my mother will be crushed."
"So, should I run? No. It's not I want to live my life, always on the run. I can confront. But I will lose. The pain of losing someone close lasts forever, like you said. I've already lost my whole family, when I got bit. Do I want the rest of the family to lose my father? The maids, the helpers, they'll be out of a job, if my father dies." Sosuke said, his eyes down. "We all can be selfish, and keep me alive. Or, I can save grief from many."
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:10 pm
"..I already told you, I'm fine." She had once again responded a bit quick, like she was certain of herself. But her hollow tone and the look in her full teal eyes betrayed her words, even now finding that she couldn't look at him while he knelt before her, instead shifting her gaze aside.
As he then went on though, telling her about how he felt about himself and his family, she stayed silent, listening intentely despite how much it looked like she wasn't paying attention. Instead, the faintest of sighs escaped her lips, nearly silent before she closed her eyes and folded her hands on her lap, never touching the food, as if she had lost her appetite despite how lately she hadn't been eating, and intead just remained there like a statue.
"I remember... but you're contradicting yourself, Sosuke-kun..." She began, the depression lingering in her voice as she went on to say more. "You're whole life is just a walking contradiction.. and so, you're just trying to find an easy answer to it all with death." Then, she had turned away completely, her eyes opening just a little as she said something no one would have ever expected someone like Satomi to say. "I know what it's like to seek that easy answer... and it won't solve a thing..."
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:18 pm
"Easy?" Sosuke said with a sharp tone, refocusing his gaze on Satomi. Suddenly understanding the meaning behind her words, Sosuke knelt forward in front of Satomi, as Sosuke took her hands in his own hand, and mechanical hand. "We talk about this later, or we can talk about this now." Sosuke's voice rang strong, as he stared at Satomi. "What have you been thinking? I knew that you weren't yourself tonight. What," Sosuke asked, taking his mechanical hand, and placing it gently on Satomi's head. "Exactly is going on in your head?" Enough about his own problems, if Satomi kept thinking like that, one day, Satomi wouldn't be there anymore.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:41 pm
Satomi casually raised her hand and set Sosuke's hand off oh her head, not really appreciatting being touched, as he failed to realize that his mechanical hand being there wasn't really a good idea; seeing as how the nuts, bolts, or gears could get stuck in her hair and bring about quite a bit of pain. That was only partially the reason though, as she just never liked being touched in general, having only given exception before since she was blindfolded. She managed to look back at him though, her pained grin still there as she slowly shook her head, not really seeming comfortable by the fact that he was prying into her own troubles.
"It's the past Sosuke. Long.. long gone, so you don't have to worry." She said lightly, her words still weak as her expression softened a bit, like she had seemed even more saddened over this whole situation. No one had ever seen her cry, but she looked like if this kept up, she just may have. " told you, I'm fine... really. I just don't feel I deserve this.. any of it." Her words lingered and drifted as she said this, and she once again broke eye contact with him, like she could not stand to look at him at this point...
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:47 pm
"You don't deserve it?" Sosuke asked, standing up, and walking to the table, fingering the tablecloth. All of sudden, Sosuke whipped up the table cloth, and piled all of the items in there, tying all of it up into a neat, tidy little bundle, which he flung over his back. "If I say that you do deserve it, which is true, we'll just get into the same conversation that we had before. From the expression on your face, you are clearly not having fun." Sosuke smiled, motioning for Satomi to stay right there. After about two minutes, Sosuke returned to the spot, and bowed to Satomi.
"You don't think that you deserve that dinner, Satomi-chan. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, which I have a feeling I already did. So, for you, we'll do something less..." Sosuke motioned to the table. "Extravagant. What do you want to do? I'm afraid if I surprise you again, I'll end up renting a boat and sailing off into the ocean."
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:06 pm
He just didn't understand at all. It wasn't about the food or the money, it wasn't about where they were, or what they spoke about, it wasn't even about her feelings. That was just the thing, she didn't want it to be about her in general, none of it... But, it almost made her laugh a little, seeing how oblivious he was about it, not catching up on her subtle hints she would drop. But.. she was okay with it. She had accepted that as just how Sosuke was, he always was just a little niave, but there was nothing wrong with that.
But when he asked her just what she wanted to do, it wasn't really a question she could just answer with silence or a blunt reply. And she only tilted her head up and looked at him for the briefest moment before looking down at the ground again, not even remotely aknowledging the fact that he had been doing everything he could for her, going out of his way to make her happy. "..I don't know what I want right now." She said honestly, though her words still a bit drifting and not truly herself. Or maybe... maybe this is who she really was? Whatever the case, she didn't seem to enthuisiastic about anything right now, even if Sosuke was showering her with affection and trying to do anything he could for her. he failed to realize that this was exactly what had been bothering her in the first place.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:16 pm
Ooh boy. This was frustrating. With a safe nod, Sosuke thought about it for a second. "Well, I guess it's up to me to surprise you again. But this time, I don't blindfold you." Sosuke laughed. Actually, Sosuke hadn't really thought of a second place to go if Satomi didn't like Nara Park. He'd probably just play it by ear. Walking to that he was side by side to Satomi, Sosuke grinned down at Satomi. "C'mon. You in or are you out? Or should I call Driviline and tell him how you're doing?" Sosuke asked, pulling out his cellphone. "Maybe he should come and help me have a good time with you."
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:25 pm
With a short pause, Satomi looked up at Sosuke, but she didn't get up from her seat right away. She remained there for a few second, contemplating, seeing how much he wanted to do something for her, but still feeling that he was trying to hard; failing to realize what bothered her. Then, as he mentioned Driviline, her eyes quickly turned away, and she got up from the bench, probably showing the most reaction now than she had any time before. But as she stood up, she turned away, and slowly reached up to her face, slowly taking hold of her glasses as she removed them, folding it diligently before tucking them away.
"I don't want to see him... not ever." She said coldly, though her words still a bit empty, the anger she had toward him was evident as she made it quite clear how she felt about Driviline right now. But even still, she didn't answer where she prefered to go. In fact, she remained silent about it, dodging Sosuke's offers once again.
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