|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:30 pm
Blue Bastarache sighed, his eyes growing vacant again. Whatever bliss he had found in his acceptance left; the darkness returning him again. However, even inside of it, he tried to find a source of light.
He failed to find it.
Tears filled his eyes as he silently wept for his loss. His acceptance that could've helped him leave it behind was lost in her words. He named her as his pain and his love; his death and his life.
He reached out for her hands, and pulled her to himself, one of his hands moving upwards to meet her cheek as he kissed her.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:35 pm
Raven embraced him, kissing him softly. She felt hope die in him. He held so much pain in himself, she didn't know how he could handle it. The pain and confusion she felt was evident, even in her kiss. She didn't understand Blue. She didn't know what he wanted. She didn't understand how it could hurt so much to love one person, but be so blissful at the same time. She didn't understand herself, who she was. Without Raen she had to find herself, but she was glad that Blue had gotten rid of that part of her...or at least had helped.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:41 pm
Blue Bastarache kissed her softly, feeling her confusion - her hesitation. He felt her pain flow into him; adding to his burden. Something snapped, as he slowly and softly broke the kiss and retreated, but still remaining in her arms. He bent down onto her neck and kissed it, as he whispered to her ear;
"Wouldn't it be good if I just died right here right now..? I would cease to exist in your arms, so far from life. You'd bury me in your heart, where I'd always be so close to you..." he kissed her neck again, his tears falling onto her skin, "I love you Raven..." he said, "...And I want to help you find yourself... I can stand up to this pain if I can believe that you... will love me." he moved to her lips and kissed her again, embracing her softly and gently.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:47 pm
Raven silently listened to him talk and when he kissed her again, she hesitated. She pulled away and turned her cheek to him, just long enough to think about her answer.
"I can not bare to see you hurt...to see you in pain. I don't want you to hurt, but Goddess...Blue, please don't leave me here alone. I can't live if I know you are not living and the reason is me." She stopped and took a deep breath. "I can't believe you'd ever question the fact that I love you. I do...more than you can imagine...more than I can ever explain. I'll always love you and I can't stand to lose you...please don't leave..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:53 pm
Blue Bastarache listened to her patiently, feeling his heart and soul ache. His soul wailed inside him; called out to him to make the pain cease. He sighed, and said, "And you haven't listened to a word I've said." he smiled bitterly, his love clearly visible in his eyes, "I am not going to leave. Not when you are here. I can't leave you behind, porcelain goddess, I can't let you go. I am too weak for that. I am too empty to leave you beind, to let a void of you grow." he embraced her, hesitating for a moment, and then keeping his lips to himself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:57 pm
Raven frowned.
"That's not what I meant. I meant I want you to be here with me, soul, heart, mind, body...everything. I don't want you to hurt and I don't think it would be good if you died. I know that you won't just leave, but you said it yourself, you want to die. It'd be good, but it's not good...that's what I meant..." She was confused. She was having a hard time trying to say what she wanted to and he was only making it worse. She didn't understand what he wanted. To leave? To die? To stay here with her? All at once...Goddess...why did it have to be so confusing? Why did it have to hurt so much?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:05 pm
Blue Bastarache sighed, mad at himself for the pain he was causing her. He felt a few cuts appear on him, and start to bleed like the gash on his palm.
"I'll be there for you, Rav-" he stopped, "No. The last time I said this, Raen surfaced, and I failed to protect you. I will try to be there for you when you need it, Raven Nichole. And I give you my word, if it carries any worth, that I am yours; yours. I want to stay here with you. With you in all. I will always wish to die, I will always wish to end this pain... But most of all, I am still here... I wish to remain here with you."
He embraced her, broken tears emerging from his eyes, his arms tightening, his embrace shuddering. "My God..." he said, unusually mentioning a higher being, "...I love you too much to die."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:10 pm
((damn it! scream I have to write it all over again. Why is it this only happens when I don't copy and paste!!))
Raven felt relief flood through her. Her confusion slowly faded.
"I will always be there for you, well as much as I can be. I wish I could take away your pain, for good, but since I know I can't I will do my best to make it bearable." She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight.
"Because I love you too."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:13 pm
Bastarache smiled, his pain reflected onto his face as he held her to his arms, feeling her warmth and savoring it.
He wanted to speak to her, say so many words, express his love, his pain, his darkness, his hope... Yet, he stood silent inside himself, and simply held her to his arms.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:17 pm
Raven pulled back a bit, to look into his bright blue eyes.
"You are amazing..." She reached up and ran her fingertips across his cheek.
"I know that you don't think so, but you are what keeps me going, everyday...I have only to think of you..." She smiled and leaned in, pressing her lips softly against his.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:23 pm
Blue Bastarache was about to object to her words when she kissed him. Returning the favor, he embraced her, feeling her love flow into him and fill his void momentarily.
After it was gone, he felt void grow inside of him. Yet, his heart was swelling inside the darkness; as if it was soaking in black ink. He felt a large gash form on his heart, it was bleeding onto his blothes, paining him. He swallowed the pain as he continued to kiss her - letting his heart beat against hers.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:27 pm
Raven sighed, pressing against him. She continued to kiss him, despite the blood she felt spread across his chest. She wanted to take away his pain and the only way she could think of doing it was to kiss it away, so she continued to kiss him, pouring all the love she felt into her kiss.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:30 pm
Blue Bastarache kissed her a little bit harder this time, adding the love and the passion that he felt, as he felt the cut enlarge. It was spreading out- he was starting to shake, uncontrollably. The more he held onto her, the deeper the cut grew, spilling blood onto his clothes to the level that they were soaking wet with it as his lips trembled onto hers.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:34 pm
Raven suddenly pulled away from Blue. She put her hand on his bloodied chest.
"Blue, are you okay?" Her gaze was concerned and worried. She tried to keep herself from panicking.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:37 pm
Blue Bastarache tried to control his breathing as his chest bled away, he tried to keep himself from shaking as his hands held Raven's shoulders,
"You're here..." he said, his teeth clattering as if he was cold, "...That's all I need to be... okay... Raven..."
(Why do I feel like something is broken in me?)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
