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 Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:06 am
Soi Tsuba Yay! On the engagement ring not fitting~!!! Just don't loose it! heart It's not falling off yet, just makes it a little weird. And if I eat anything that makes me bloat at all, it won't fit other fingers.
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:25 am
Beginning of day notes:
So. I have to figure out a way to make myself only buy one bag of chips... the problem I get the feeling is Peter. He suggested going to the store, so I tell myself, ok, tortilla chips and an avocado. Then he looks askance when I buy one bag and so I go.. hmmm... my lardass can get two. Then he grabs kettle corn, and I love all these things. Next time I will be better. Because I'm not happy with how things were.
So:
Breakfast:
Juice
Water
Chips (before I realized I was disgusting for eating them and threw them out)
Ride to chiropractor 1/2 hr
Ride to School 3/4 hr
Snack:
Apple
Soyogurt
Lunch:
Veggies (Many veggies)
Toast w/ black bean spread
Muffin
Ride home 1/2 hr (the muffin really carried me, I wish I had muffins like that at home... )
Dinner:
Salad I just had miso because I wasn't very hungry.
Miso soup
Snack later:
Strawberry soycecream
popcorn
End of day notes:
I'm really finding that planning what I eat has been very helpful. I haven't HAD dinner yet but I know I'm having Miso soup and salad. And hey, if I decide I want something different when I have dinner, I can. But I won't be going into the kitchen and reaching for whatever's easiest. I can also add things to my list that I didn't anticipate if I'm STARVING and finding that my veggies and small main part of lunch are not tiding me over. (like my muffin!)
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:34 am
Beginning of day comments: I find that I really didn't need the popcorn last night, it's just that peter gets home, and he's STARVING, like he should be, and he wants food, the easiest way for me to avoid temptation to not eat anything is to have something light but for the rest of this week I'm going to try not having anything.
210.8 (This was after breakfast and being awake for a while so I'm pleased about that)
Breakfast
Vega
Soyogurt
Coffee.
Lunch:
Veggies
Banana
Avocado black bean, salsa wrap (also, the DANGER BURRITO!)
Dinner:
Salad (bigass!)
Veggie burger
Exercise:
Ride to college!
Ride home!
Next morning notes: Man it would be so nice if that was actually all I'd eaten yesterday. But I'm just not going to write it all. I think the veggie burger was what got me. I just WANTED food. So. My new action plan is to stop staying up late so that I can see peter after work, and to start going to bed earlier so I don't stuff my face all night.
I keep busy, it keeps me from boredom eating.
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Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 9:06 am
Beginning of day notes: I'm starting flax oil and flax seed again, because I think that it's a process thing, I start my day off doing something disgusting for my health, I feel obligated to continue doing things for my health. Either that or I'm just ocd and unless I'm doing all the steps I'm not doing any of them.
Breakfast:
Coffee
Cereal w/ milk, flax seed, banana
Flax oil
Lunch:
Veggies
Soyogurt
Soup
Dinner:
I'm not sure. A small salad and perhaps another burger if want it.
Game plan.
Draw.
Homework.
Go online.
Tea.
Exercise:
Ride to school, ride home. Perhaps to the gym in the beginning? Who knows.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:04 am
Still battling February depression, but I think the worst is over.
I'm taking some spiritual time. I'll report back on what I've done.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:33 pm
tell me about it, this month is the worst. crying
Hope you feel better soon~!
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 1:03 pm
I haven't fallen off the wagon like I did this past month in ages.
mew
I've decided to accept that I'm like an addict. I *am* an addict. Food is my addiction and anyone that wants to laugh at that can ******** suck it. Food is a terrible addiction to have because it's always going to be around, you can't quit food cold turkey. You have to battle your demons and find out what's causing your addiction and DEAL with it. Food will always be there, there will always be people with food and there will always be the same bad for you foods around and they're always going to be romanticized. Food ads will always be around, and the you will ALWAYS be able to get your hands on it, if you try to quit your main addiction foods cold turkey, *Someone* will have them somewhere, you'll come face to face with your addiction food again, and again and again.
So me keeping white rice away from me won't help me. I have to deal with my food addiction, and then I'll be able to have white rice, when I want it, because when I want it won't be ALL THE TIME. And I think having it in the house will do a lot to help me, because currently I was wanting white rice all the time and when I'd get my hands on it, I'd just go crazy and binge on it.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 6:49 am
Ok. Let's be trying desperately to get OUT of whatever mire I'm in, and back on track. I'm not pleased with this month.
Breakfast:
Flax oil
Flax seed
Vega
Lunch:
Chana Masala, chickpea curry and rice
Ginger snap cookies (2 or 3)
Snack:
Still another gingersnap cookie.
Dinner:
Spaghetti sauce on Kale
I'm not riding my bike today because it's very very very very very wet outside, I do have to walk from the chiropractor to the bus exchange, and that will be unpleasant but I'm going to go to the gym today. I think that a big part of my overeating and stuff is that I completely broke my groove in keeping busy and going to the gym and stuff. Completely.
So student loans decided to be dicks and I ended up not going to class. But that does mean I'm riding to the gym.
Rode to gym, spent about an hour there, but it wasn't the most productive hour I've ever spent in a gym. I'm still tired from doing wiifit things with my arms weighted, so there.
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:22 am
Ok. Back to school. Haven't been there in a while. ._.
Weight: Holding at 210ish
Breakfast:
Flax seed
Flax oil
Vega
Orange?
Lunch:
Soyogurt
Veggies
Cookie.
Toast w/ spaghetti sauce
Dinner:
Chickpea Chana masala
Utterly stoned adventure food (this was actually before dinner)
So I tried eating what was left of a joint, i took it like a pill with coffee... and I can't believe how stoned I got. I mean, eating it usually causes a different reaction but I was much more altered than I wanted to be. I just wanted something to take the edge of my anxiety through class. But instead I was paying such fervent attention to the notes that ... well, either way. It was decent.
My mistake was going near a corner store being *that* inebriated, and I think I can avoid making that mistake again.
Exercise:
I intend to get off the bus early and drop off a load of nasty clothes at Value Village, then I'll walk up to school, it's about a ten-fifteen minute walk.
20 minutes CRAZY rpm biking, I kept it at 100+RPM for the whole time.
20 minutes CRAZY fast walking on tread mill.
I'm going to get lettuce, a coloured pepper, and green onions at the store. Perhaps parsley for bean salad. And veggie burgers.
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Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:00 am
I'm going to empty a gel capsule and take it with probably a quarter of what was in that joint and see what happens.
Breakfast:
Toast w/ chocolate peanut butter
Lunch:
Veggies
Soyogurt
Dinner:
Spaghetti sauce on kale (more like salad)
Ginger cookie
Lemony baked tofu
Snack:
Toast, PB, choc chip, coconut, cinnamon cookie. >.>
Exercise:
Gym after class. I'm kinda tired latey and I don't want to bike while I might be more inebriated than I want.
Twenty minutes on a bike
Ten minutes on tread mill, 8 minutes walking 2 minutes running.
I would have stayed on the mill longer but I started getting some impressive cramps. I really hope I'm on my period. ._.
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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:24 am
On my period now, yayyyyyyyyy.... -_- Still though, holding at 210
Also: ******** snow! ******** it in it's tight white virgin a*****e. With a tree trunk! We *just* got rid of the gravel on the road, why is there a foot and a half MORE SNOW?!
*wail*
Breakfast:
Cereal w/ flax and banana
Lunch:
Veggies
Soyogurt
_______
Dinner:
Chilli!
Cornbread?
We'll see if my classes aren't canceled, but it looks like I need to get up to the college anyway. So if my classes are canceled anyway (even though the campus is open) I'll just go to the gym and do my chemistry. (seriously so much chemistry.
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Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 7:52 am
I took some time 'off' and really I was better for myself than all this time I'd been making journals. I might be over a hump. I'm going to go back to making tiny updates on what I've done exercise wise, but aside from that, I don't think that I need to up date here anymore for food.
I am currently at 209.
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Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:05 am
Clearly three days of being good is not enough to give myself freedom from food diarying. So I went on a rice binge, it wasn't as bad as the other times I've binged, but I definitely call it a binge. And it wasn't white rice, but that's still no excuse.
Breakfast:
A very small vega shake, I'm getting more today probably.
Banana w/ peanut butter?
Lunch:
PB&J
Dessert tofu
Veggies
Dinner:
Salad
_______?
Exercise:
Ride to health food store and school.
Gym for weights?
Ride home.
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Posted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:34 am
I've got a new plan for not eating late at night. We'll see if it works.
Breakfast:
Vega
Earl gray tea
Lunch:
Veggies
Soyogurt
Clears the room bean salad.
Dinner:
Veggie burger
Vega <- that's my plan, it tastes terrible and fills you up and is good for you and low calorie, so I'm hoping it'll stop me from eating. We'll see if I need it tonight, I've been really good.
So I do well until just after dinner. Really. But my new plan will hopefully work.
I want to get an exercise ball, I just feel *so* selfconcious doing anything with the balls in the gym. It's weird.
Exercise:
Ride to college and back.
10 minutes (STRAIGHT!) rowing
5 minutes walking 3.5 mph @ 4.0 incline
Negligible attempts at ball exercises.
I put in the order for my new exercise ball. Yay.
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