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| What are your thoughts on critiquing? |
| YES!!! |
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48% |
[ 47 ] |
| Eh... |
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49% |
[ 48 ] |
| NO!!! |
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[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 97 |
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 Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:13 pm
Iori walks along the road for hours. His head leaned forward and his hands deep in his pockets he keeps walking, trying to think about what the magnitude of the situation is. But he just ends up aggravating himself since he knows nothing about wahts going on in the first place. As he walks along the road he sees someone walking in his direction.He freezes as he spots the figure in the distance. He sees is Masaru, feeling a strange aura around the figure even from far away he just stops and looks at it trying to figure out who it is, if its male or female, or if its even human.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:30 pm
Masaru heard a being up ahead of her. She looked up to observe it. As far as she could tell, it seemed to be a human male. She felt little flickers of her rage at even this small representation of that species. She made her eyes more and more keen. She was correct, it was a human. He seemed to be frowning and looking right back at her. Lucky boy to meet me so soon after my rage...but he might not be so lucky as he seems. His expression is pissing me off.
She didn't speed up, nor did she slow down. She continued to walk as if she didn't see him, vaguely hoping her rage would be provoked so she could enjoy his death at her own hands.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:45 pm
Iori starts to walk closer to the being as his blood begins to boils and a fire starts brewing inside of him. Not knowing what it is capable of. Or if it knows what he is capable of. Iori continues to walk aware of the danger, but not sure how bad it actually is.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:48 pm
"what kind of messed up life have I stumbled into.."
He listened to her words and then took on a more serious tone. "You didn't stumble onto anything. This is the path you were chosen to follow. Sure it wasn't the easiest, but I'm sure everything will work out how it was supposed to, after all, our paths intertwined and you don't see me complaining about it." He raised an eyebrow and then stretched in his seat like a lazy kitten. It was entirely to warm inside, and he had no problem slipping out of his t-shirt and laying it on the table beside him.
She hadn't really reacted to anything he had said, and seemed lost in her thoughts, so he slipped on a pair of running shoes and headed out the from door, calling these words behind him. "I'll be back shortly, I just can't stand sitting around unless it is for a purpose." And by that he meant meditation. besides, what could it hurt to leave her at home with her thoughts.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:02 pm
Masaru continued watching the approaching male. He looked angry, with an expression that was probably the mirror image of hers. She raised a mental brow. She could practically feel the anger emanating from this guy, and it was causing her own rage to rise slightly as well. Few humans carried quite this much anger in them. She no longer doubted whether or not she might enjoy killing this one...she knew she would. She felt her face waver slightly, an automatic response to rage so soon after letting it fall. She firmly held it in place though. She was determined to do all her killing with her face firmly in place. She didn't know if he had noticed. She didn't care. They were only a few yards apart now. She started focusing some of her will on her knife, readying for the seeming imminent fight.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:21 pm
((Aws... Now I'm waiting on Saki. Meh, I guess I deserved it for making her wait on me so many times already. <_<))
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:27 pm
((Lol, me and Pen have been doing it to each other all day. So don't feel to bad about it.))
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:28 pm
He stood there, gazing upon the strange woman, his rage seeming to feed off of hers. As he looked on, his body took on a mind of its own, producing low grunts and blood curdling snarls. He noticed she seemed to be pondering something, whatever it was he would be ready. He Pull his hand out of his right pocket and put it behind his back. He was ready for whatever she had to throw at him, or so he thought. He stood there, tall and confident, a purple tinted flame licked as his fist and engulfed his hand as he stood before her.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:34 pm
((Iori. It should look like this:
He stood there, gazing upon the strange woman, his rage rage seeming to feed off of hers. As he looked on, his body took on a mind of its own, producing low grunts and blood curdling snarls. He noticed she seemed to be pondering something, whatever it was he would be ready. He pulled a knife from his back pocket and slid his hand behind his back, hopefully unnoticed. He was ready for whatever she had to throw at him, or so he thought. He stood there, tall and confident, a purple tinted flame licked as his fist and engulfed the knife as he stood before her.
What your doing is such a pet peeve. ))
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:37 pm
[[OOC: ...I know it's my turn, but I'm literally falling asleep. I'm going to go sleep, and I'll respond in the morning probably (I have to babysit so I'll be up pretty early). Do you mind?]]
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:37 pm
((sry bout that sad i will try harder and there is no knife just his hands. I will try to steer clear of your pet peeves and yea im getting kinda tired too))
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:41 pm
(( Dont take it personally. It's just, it is odd to see one person posting in the first person, when everyone else is posting in the third. It makes it so the RP isn't flowing. But do what you want.
Pen, Ill be on in the morning or something. Im way too tired right now.))
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:47 pm
((I understand, I actually had no idea I was doing it even when you pmed me ><))
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:14 pm
[[I wouldn't so much say it's a POV problem, then it is a description/flow problem. However, that's easily fixed if one reads and develops a writing style from reading books or other posts. Of course it could've all been changed by the time I came home. sweatdrop OKOKOK, going to write a long meaningful post....]]
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:38 pm
((I'm pretty sure I fixed it biggrin ))
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