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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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 Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 10:44 am
"That's exactly right son. Your mother can stand there and stare at you like you're stupid as you carry on till you're blue in the face. It's the silence that she hates." Shrugging lightly, "Besides...I could literally crush Nadai with litte effort if I really thought him a threat. And he knows that. Besides any man she'd be with would always be put in comparison to me on various levels because that's what your mother does, compare things."
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 8:18 pm
"I know." He'd used that tactic against her more than once as well. She was ridiculously easy to manipulate but he never did it with evil intentions. He'd always had a feeling in the back of his mind that if he were to try to pull one over with the intent of really being evil, his father would intervene and make him pay. "And he wouldn't measure up. One of the girls at school told me that I'm big and strong and that makes me desirable. I guess it's the same with you and her. Especially since things were so unsteady when I was born. She really needed the promise of that protection."
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 8:24 pm
"I suppose you could look at it that way. Everyone naturally desires protection and the like. And only one of the girls at school? That's a lie and you know it. Though they'll have to deal with you not being around there anyway. Am I to expect seeing random girls coming to the door and inquiring where you live and what I've done with or to you that makes you unable to attend school?"
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 10:41 pm
He flushed, and despite the fact his father couldn't see the red staining his cheeks, he knew Zykariel was doing it. "Well...it was more of a group of them standing around and one choosing to actually voice it. But that kind of made me feel...used, I guess. I don't want to be top of their list just because I can punch somebody's lights out and take one without going down. Just like I don't want to be top of their list just because I can kick butt on the track." Shaking his head and sighing, girls were such complicated and manipulative creatures. "Maybe. Though I'm not skipping out on school completely. I decided the basic elemental classes are so boring, I'm not attending them and Potions, too. I hate the teacher and mom prepared me for anything. But some of the others I enjoy, like defensive combat and oppositional magic. I even like history though math isn't my thing."
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 10:49 pm
His son wouldn't know it, but it was quite settling to hear his son say he refused to be used. Long as Zykariel kept to that he supposed he could stop worrying too much. "Knowing what you want is important and not all women are shallow...well they aren't shallow forever." Grinning at his son though at the little bit of school information. "Well that's good to know that school isnt' completely useless to you. And very few like math anyway." He only liked it because it was full of outcomes that rarely if ever changed. "Are you happy you have more time to tend to your racing and such now?"
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 6:54 pm
"It just makes it hard to choose one and go..." he trailed off, realizing what he'd almost said and shook his head. "Who am I kidding. I know you know. It's hard to find one I'd be willing to get intimate with if I don't know her real reasons for wanting to be with me. I don't even have any real relationships because of it. How did you deal with that, Dad?" His smile came back, big and bright as if he'd just been given a huge present. "Very, very happy. Destyny is too."
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 7:35 pm
"Well, I'm glad I could make you both happy then." He grinned and gave a chuckle. "Yes I know...and I never understood why it's so important to you that you come off that way." Shaking his head lightly, though here came the information leak that could happen. He could lie to his son...or tell him the truth. Sevilin got quiet for a moment and made a decision...his son was old enough. "I never dealt with such things Zykariel, I never had the choice in such matters. Not until I came here at least. But I suppose after that...it's all a matter of recognizing the sincerety in what is said to you. The off the wall things that others would torment someone over saying are the real words."
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 7:22 pm
"It's pretty much impossible to explain especially since I don't really understand it either. I just know what I like and I know the women seem to like me and I want to keep them happy." Shaking his head and then going quiet as his father actually chose to answer his question. Normally he got an evasion. He knew bits and pieces of his father's past but no real details aside from the minor ones he'd shared. He knew there was a lot more hidden inside the tall, strong man who had raised him since birth. "So you grew up hating sex or did you just not really understand that it could be consensual? And how'd you know mom was sincere?"
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 8:28 pm
And here it all was, moment of truth indeed. A light sigh, shifting his weight some. "Maybe a little bit of both. I hated it because despite my role in such things it was still pretty much a complete stripping of power, control, and other such base things one needs to be stable. They pretty much made sure we knew that there was a choice involved on it...just that we never got a say in it." Pausing a moment as if he had to think. "She never forced, I suppose. When she saw I was uncomfortable with anything really, she didn't just keep going with things. She backed off and made sure I was okay with everything."
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:13 pm
He listened quietly, frowning at the sort of thoughts racing through his mind. "They never gave you a choice one way or another which means they stole part of what it means to be a man. That's one of the things that I've learned growing up. Part of what makes you a man is your control over your own desires...and the thin line between that control that we dance on when it comes to women." He'd often wondered just how his parents had come together, past the deceit and trickery and all sorts of other things that had a hand in it. He knew that relationships weren't built on that alone but there was something else that had caused his father to take pause and become intrigued by her. Something that had drawn them together aside from the fickle hand of fate. "But you didn't fall in love with her because of that, did you?"
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 3:23 pm
"That's the motive behind it, yes. And one either learns to comply, live, and adjust to such things...or fail miserably and suffer fates perhaps worse than death." Shaking his head lightly as memories danced in the back of his head, perhaps dulling his eyes some. "No, that's not why I feel in love with your mother. It was deeper with than that with your mother. Belive me...it was not an easy road either. Your mother used to hop right up onto that 'better than all' pedestal from time to time. I never let her get away with it when she was doing it to me. I was hell bent to show her that she wasn't going to treat me like things she was used to as well. That's why we fought a lot. I used to not be able to stand being around her...but then I wanted to be around her all the time. I couldn't tell you exactly why or how...but it just sort of clicked on day." Chuckling lightly, despite his slightly darkened eyes, "Maybe you had something to do with it too."
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 6:56 pm
Zykariel's dark skin turned a grayish color at that thought and he gulped. Not a bit of that sounded like fun and he was once again struck by the thought that his father had managed to not only retain his dignified stature through it all but come back and love not only him and his siblings but his mother. "She doesn't have it anymore, does she? I mean I know she gets annoyed and sometimes says things that she really shouldn't but...?" He hadn't seen his father get really mad at his mother in a long time. There was always far more tension in the house when Sevilin was angry. "You were falling for her for a long time, hmm?" He quieted for a moment, faced once again with the circumstances surrounding his arrival in the world. "I knew you didn't love her when I came along but I had a reverie the other night about when I was a little kid and we were eating a snack and I asked you if you did love her. You didn't take a very long time answering and I thought at the time, and still do now, that you might have lied to me. It's okay if you did, I understand why you'd tell me you did love her when you didn't. But...did you?"
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:01 am
"The pedestal? No, but she does still take me to task sometimes, on things that she very well should mind you." He was quiet for a moment before he smiled at his son. “I didn’t lie to you. I was in love with her…I was just afraid of being so. If she didn’t want you, then how could I possibly be stupid enough to think she’d want me? At least that’s how I reasoned it out to myself. Being in love means you have to let a lot of guards down...and once you've fought so hard for freedom and live your own life and not under someone else's boot...its hard and is frightening to think that you have to drop such guards and the like and trust someone enough to know it's there."
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Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:24 pm
He nodded, thinking it over for a minute. "Her biggest concern is when you don't eat enough and then overdo your training, which is the same thing she hits all of us for. The gods forbid any of us go to school with an empty stomach." Rolling his eyes to that and then shaking his head. "Depends on the kind of love, I think. You didn't have to drop any guards to love me or Faate or the others. I've been told that kind of love just happens without any warning. This tiny elf is shoved at you and then there it is. But I guess it would be harder to love Mama, especially if she couldn't even stand to be around me. I used to wonder how come if what I just said was true, it didn't overtake her in the beginning too. Then I remember that I was never really shoved at her. I kinda wonder if I had been if she might have wanted to be there more."
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 10:16 pm
"Well that comes from the past too. Food was another control method...eventually your body adapts to living on what little food you do get between the times you get fed, or to making nourishment out of things that you really shouldn't be eating because it's barely classified as food or edible. That's why I'm always weird about eating around you kids. I was so afraid you were going to learn my eating habits." Shaking his head lightly with a slight grin at nostalgia. "I think she loved you from the beginning...she was just afraid she was going to turn you into what she was taught to turn men into, honestly. Despite her trying to distance herself...she always found a way to weasel herself into a position of life or death if she was present or not."
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