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 Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 2:41 pm
He came closer and sat down, his wings doing a gargoyle thing as they opened up.
"No...everyone has their opinion. Yours is said from what you've witnessed. They have a lot to deal with."
He smiled though, faint and mysterious to its meaning.
Raven blinked and nodded. "I'm happy there is no longer some secret of avoidence."
Alexis smiled and hugged Andras. "I'm glad I know, really." They just both had to deal with it.
Raven was reminded a bit of a mirror that would steal people's memories, but also their identities...She only heard it through legend.
"I think with us in shock, it's all still settling in. But the fact that I can't remember ever having Alexis..." Raven shook her head. "I've tried remembering, on my own. I've always had the sense I was missing something. Being told that something and not remembering..."
Alex smiled a little. "So why not figure this out again?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:15 pm
He held his head in his hand after Arioch left, trying to hang on to the sick feeling that was sweeping over him hoping it would give him some type of stability as he remembered the past.
'They' had been happy back then, 'they' being Raven and himself, along with their little daughter, Alexis. He may not have been able to experience what love was nor say he loved Raven even back then, but that period of time was one he had felt at peace and had been happy.
It had all changed when Alexis had been kidnapped though. Both distraught parents had done what they could to have their daughter returned to them. Now he wondered if the price he paid for her return hadn't been too high. The memory of holding his daughter and Raven admiring her, glad she was safe, only to have her ask him moments later who's child was in his arms broke his heart.
He had dealt with it by putting the memory away to never remember it again, just like he had done with so many other disasters that had happened in his life. For the most, it worked. Today, it wasn't working one bit.
Something in him stirred and he acted on it, getting up and walking out of the living room, past Arioch and Song, looking at them slightly confused as though he did not remember who they were or why they were there, before making his way towards where the bathroom was.
Once there, he poked his head in and spoke to Raven.
"We need to talk"
Before he moved to the side, leaning against the outside wall of the bathroom, giving his daughter and her feeder some privacy.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:22 pm
Raven, calmer then she had been, glanced at Alexis who just gave a smile that was like her dad's. It didn't sit well with her but she stepped out of the bathroom.
She slipped to the opposite side of him. "What's up?" She asked, settling against the wall.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:30 pm
He shrugged, suddenly lost for words. There she was, so close to him. It would take a single sentence to restore what she had lost, to make it easier to accept the truth, and yet, he was unable to provide her with that sentence.
She'd see tears welling up in his eyes if she looked, partly from frustration partly from the desire to make things right and failing.
"I tried"
He finally admitted.
"My last attempt at circumventing the curse was when I left town for a few weeks leaving her in your care in the hopes it would at least partially restore what you lost.. "
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 6:53 pm
She looked up from a moment's glance at the floor, catching his tears. She acted on instinct, closing the distance and embracing him. She felt her heart swell and ache in need to say something, to shut him up but a small voice stopped her.
"For years, since you did that I haven't stopped trying to regain that memory. Something always felt lost, like I should know something...I've tried remembering and I can't."
She looked up at him.
"I simply can't remember what you told me. I don't remember being pregnant or ever having her, let alone anything before that except you've always been around."
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:31 pm
He wasn't sure what he had done for her to hug him, but he hugged her back, for a brief moment feeling like the world was right again before it fell apart again at her words.
"I didn't tell you what you needed to hear"
He assured her, believing that the one thing she needed to hear was that he loved her.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:41 pm
She continued to hug him, burying her face in his chest as she closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again.
She went silent, unsure of how to respond to his words. Secretly, she might have thought if he told her he loved her everything would be alright....But she thought of that as a child's fantasy. She couldn't even say the words herself, let alone make him say it.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:56 pm
No sooner had she gone quiet that he realised he had said the wrong thing and swore softly.
"You're not going to like this, but you agreed to loosing your memory as long as it got us Alexis back.. "
He hated telling her that, hated that they had been put into a position where they had to choose.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:02 pm
She looked up, not sure why he swore when he did.
"I did?" She asked. She didn't think she would but if it was a memory she didn't have...then there was no telling.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:07 pm
"Yeah.. in exchange for our daughters safty. Neither one of us was ready to face life knowing we could have saved her but didn't"
He remembered the decision as clear as if it happened 5 minutes ago. He had explained to her that he coudln't return her memories only to have her tell him that it would be ok. Except... years later, it wasn't ok, it was far from ok.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:12 pm
Neither of them could have known the outcome of everything after that...but the choice was made even when she didn't recall.
"If that's the way it was..."
She caressed his face, unable to not touch it as she made the touch innocent.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:38 pm
He pulled back as she touched his face. He was a face that belonged in her past, possibly into her list of friends, though after what he had put her through, he didn't think that they could be friends.
"No, don't"
He asked her, open wounds of the past showing.
"When I came back.. I watched you and you were happy with Jay. He's good for you, he'll look after you"
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 8:43 pm
"How can I stay if I hurt him?"
She asked. She couldn't shake Joe from her system. He stayed no matter what she did.
"Jay and I were friends before we started dating...it didn't work out as we thought. I'm at fault for it..."
Her expression contorted for a moment from it's calm to shame before it went back. She was scared of how she felt. She cared for Jay but she couldn't deny the feeling that was in her when Joe was about...not how her blood heated so quickly.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:05 pm
youngshorty
"Jay and I were friends before we started dating...it didn't work out as we thought. I'm at fault for it..."
It was the truth, at least, the truth he saw. If he hadn't come back, she would have been happy with Jay.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:11 pm
"I should have said no..."
She pointed out, tightening her grip as if she would wake up from a dream or nightmare.
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