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 Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 11:17 am
I am going to copy and paste my story from my journal... Quote: She tells me that we're gonna play cops and robbers, and being a naive 4th grader I agree... and so began the worst experience of my life. She plays along for a while... then she says that she arrested me and i have to go to jail, "But I don't want to wear handcuffs" she replys with a punch to the back of my head as soon as I turn around and i fall unconcious. Waking up a few minutes later I find myself seating in front of the bed with each hand handcuffed to the bed and she is sticking a needle into my arm (I still am not sure what was in the needle) but my body goes mostly limp, except for my groin, it feels really warm down there. She pulls of my pants and i can't move a muscle, but one muscle is working, and it's all the way up. I force myself to try and get away since I've dreamnt of it a week before, and she hits my a few times until I can't move at all. She takes her own clothes off and starts rubbing against me, then I keep fading in and out of conciousness as this sick b***h is ******** herself. When she finished, she dresses herself and tells me that I'm to tell my parents that i fell down the steps, she walks off and leaves me there for a hour, comes back, uncuffs me. I just sit there for 20 mins then i hear the front door open and i climb on the bed, parents run in with the babysitter and ask if I'm ok from the fall down the stairs, "Yeah, I'm just a little sore...". ends up i have a concussion from her first punch. I was too afraid to tell cause i thought she'd do it again... a week later her car slips on black ice and goes over the mountain side and she slowly bleeds to death in the middle of a North Carolina mountain winter. I relive this every time I dream it, every feeling, smell, pain, anger, fear, etc. I wonder if I'll ever be able to make the dreams stop and forget about it... My biggest issue is that I developed a 2nd personality from that, he's a lot more... 'rough' around the edges. A few weeks ago I blacked out while arguing with my fiancee, came to she was crying and very scared looking. After awhile I found out what had happened and had to explained what happened, I should have told her earlier. She thought the 'other' me was going to rape her, he even kissed her in a really 'rapist' like way as she described it. While I was out I saw myself in hell... brutally raping the babysitter, but it wasn't me... it was the other me claiming to be the original personality. I don't want to go to actual theraby cause the last time I was in (for another reason) the stuff I said that they promsed to not tell my parents, well they did. I don't want my parents to know about the 4th grade because her being dead and knowing my parents... they'd give her parents greif. I don't want her parents to find out because she is dead and would rather her R.I.P. in their minds. Any advice on how I can deal with the other me on my own without dealing with "professionals"?
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 2:26 pm
I would still recommend seeing a professional. If it's something you can't get over by yourself, then outside help might be best.
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 2:48 pm
As would I, also it is illegal for them to tell your parents they are breeching your doctor/patient confindentiality. (sp?)
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 3:06 pm
I know... and being a minor it's not exactly easy for me to do anything about it without "proof", I hate psycholigists... After she did that I turned the tables and had her telling me her life's story instead of her badgering me, lol
I'm trying to avoid professional help because I feel like I can't trust them... (I missed your post when I first posted this >.<)
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 5:12 pm
Mou. You really really should get profesional help, as was already said. If you are concerned about confidentiality, ask about it on the first visit, if they don't bring it up. When i went the first time i had to sign a bunch of stuff and so did my therapist. It's illegal for them to say anything to anyone else unless you are going to/have hurt yourself, are going to hurt someone else, or someone else is hurting you.
Is it possible you could get your parents to not say anything to anyone else? It might be good to tell them, so that... It's easier to get help? You could also talk to a counsellor at your school and talk to one of them, and they could tell your parents what happened and... stuff. Sometimes adults listen to other adults better, in my experience with things like this. If they knew, though, it would be easier to get help and... yeah.
I'm sorry about what happened to you... Good luck. heart
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 6:00 pm
flaaffy Mou. You really really should get profesional help, as was already said. If you are concerned about confidentiality, ask about it on the first visit, if they don't bring it up. When i went the first time i had to sign a bunch of stuff and so did my therapist. It's illegal for them to say anything to anyone else unless you are going to/have hurt yourself, are going to hurt someone else, or someone else is hurting you.
Is it possible you could get your parents to not say anything to anyone else? It might be good to tell them, so that... It's easier to get help? You could also talk to a counsellor at your school and talk to one of them, and they could tell your parents what happened and... stuff. Sometimes adults listen to other adults better, in my experience with things like this. If they knew, though, it would be easier to get help and... yeah.
I'm sorry about what happened to you... Good luck. heart Thanks for the advice, but my dad wouldn't let me mow the lawn till I was a freshman in high school... that's how over protective he is. That's also a big problem, the other me could hurt someone. I don't live with my parents anymore but my family knows every psycholigist or psychiatrist in town in one way or another (very few for theraby, most due to jobs or w/e). My parents would want to know what's up... Now I feel stupid, maybe I should see if I can find a professional in a town or two over...
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 8:42 pm
AlexBane flaaffy Mou. You really really should get profesional help, as was already said. If you are concerned about confidentiality, ask about it on the first visit, if they don't bring it up. When i went the first time i had to sign a bunch of stuff and so did my therapist. It's illegal for them to say anything to anyone else unless you are going to/have hurt yourself, are going to hurt someone else, or someone else is hurting you.
Is it possible you could get your parents to not say anything to anyone else? It might be good to tell them, so that... It's easier to get help? You could also talk to a counsellor at your school and talk to one of them, and they could tell your parents what happened and... stuff. Sometimes adults listen to other adults better, in my experience with things like this. If they knew, though, it would be easier to get help and... yeah.
I'm sorry about what happened to you... Good luck. heart Thanks for the advice, but my dad wouldn't let me mow the lawn till I was a freshman in high school... that's how over protective he is. That's also a big problem, the other me could hurt someone. I don't live with my parents anymore but my family knows every psycholigist or psychiatrist in town in one way or another (very few for theraby, most due to jobs or w/e). My parents would want to know what's up... Now I feel stupid, maybe I should see if I can find a professional in a town or two over...
As was said before, it would be illegal for the doctor to tell your parents much of anything.
Well, i think i forgot the rest of whatever i was going to say, but i hope things work out. You can PM me anytime if you want to~
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:13 pm
well I'm only 14 and I guess I don't know much, but I wouldn't see a professional either if i had that problem... But I believe I can fix it on my own... I guess what I'm saying is believe in yourself, and try your best to control it... talk about what happened with somebody you know you can trust and have them help you.... like your fiancee... and did you ever think to see a doctor to find out what that was? All I can think of is ecstasy... but I dunno... just tryin to help though...
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Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 12:51 pm
AlexBane flaaffy Mou. You really really should get profesional help, as was already said. If you are concerned about confidentiality, ask about it on the first visit, if they don't bring it up. When i went the first time i had to sign a bunch of stuff and so did my therapist. It's illegal for them to say anything to anyone else unless you are going to/have hurt yourself, are going to hurt someone else, or someone else is hurting you.
Is it possible you could get your parents to not say anything to anyone else? It might be good to tell them, so that... It's easier to get help? You could also talk to a counsellor at your school and talk to one of them, and they could tell your parents what happened and... stuff. Sometimes adults listen to other adults better, in my experience with things like this. If they knew, though, it would be easier to get help and... yeah.
I'm sorry about what happened to you... Good luck. heart Thanks for the advice, but my dad wouldn't let me mow the lawn till I was a freshman in high school... that's how over protective he is. That's also a big problem, the other me could hurt someone. I don't live with my parents anymore but my family knows every psycholigist or psychiatrist in town in one way or another (very few for theraby, most due to jobs or w/e). My parents would want to know what's up... Now I feel stupid, maybe I should see if I can find a professional in a town or two over... The psychologist won't tell your parents anything unless you are at risk of hurting yourself or someone else. So for example, if you're suicidal, they're legally obligated to tell your parents. If you have plans to hurt someone else, they're going to tell your parents. Stuff like that.
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