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"I didn't know," Jordan protested. "It was just a hunch. A theory." His smirk widened. "You're not an idiot. Don't blame yourself for my machinations." He reached over to steal another cracker, put a slice of cheese on it, and ate it calmly.

Then he said, "So. Date?"

"Meeting the parents usually doesn't happen till considerably later," Jordan said, trying to keep a straight face.

"That would require me to agree to being stolen. Unless you're talking rope and duct tape, in which case, damn, dude, hardcore." Jordan gestured with the champagne flute. "Anyway, little early to be talking family, this is the first date, after all."

Jordan glanced over Ro's shoulder back towards the buffet, and an evil grin appeared on his face, just for a moment. "Hang on a sec," he said. "Gotta give a friend some crap." He pulled his phone out of his pocket.



Then he put his phone back and grinned at Ro. "Dude's been dithering about making a move for ages. Looks like he finally got it out."

"Whew." Robert loudly huffed out his relief at both the reply, and the promise. He really needed to hear that; and something deep down inside reminded him of how important the kids behind him were. Not as important as Ramona, but they still needed supervision. He knew it would put a hamper on a date, and he'd make it up to her with a real one, one day.

At least, for now, she seemed to understand. She said something about unfair to abandon, and for a moment he thought she meant that she understood how he couldn't abandon the children, but she cut herself short in the most painfully adorable way. He winced, because it almost sounded like it hurt, and waited for her to continue. She didn't.

"Sorry I can't get them myself!" God, she was so understanding. Exactly what Robert needed in his complicated life. She watched her walk off to get them champagne, but his eyes quickly fell to start counting heads beside him. With a distracted thought in the back of his head, he started to wonder what she was saying when she interrupted herself. He'd heard it, but he'd been too started and relieved to comprehend. So he thought about it for a moment.

Especially when you seem so per-

It felt like a brick - no, an actual cascade of bricks were falling on his head. Robert's expression fell in dumbfounded surprise, and the children around him grew quiet as they watched him slowly short circuit. He put his hand down on the table, but it wasn't enough - the giant lug of a man came crashing down, sitting on the nearest chair while slumped forward. His posture was terrible - but perfect for climbing on. One of the smaller children did just that.

"She thinks I'm perfect." Robert whispered out in an exhale. He was lost to the world - a fact that became even more obvious as the little girl continued to climb, wrapped herself around his head, and swayed precariously from his shoulders.

Ramona was perched precariously on shoulders as well, though she seemed a little more stable since Allan was paying attention. The little boy who sat jealously on the other side was no match for her prowess, and she straightened up her back as much as she could, going so far as to push down so she could try to be higher than him, too. Her expression was pursed and wide-eyed - it was her game face. Ramona was clearly saying bring it.

The plate of jello was pretty precarious, too. It jiggled and waited for the wrong moment to come. Soon, it would be free.

In truth, Mimsy was not all that surprised when she discovered that she had very obviously broken Robert. Her very short history of dating had not exactly left her with the most positive of results, and a significant portion (if not the majority) of that had absolutely been her fault. It was disappointing that she had apparently done nothing to improve upon whatever the root of the issue was, but not alarming enough to make her shut down too.

"Um." Concerned, she glanced towards Ramona, hoping that she might offer some insight. When she saw that she was preoccupied, she anxiously shifted her weight from one foot to the other, and put both glasses of champagne on the table next to him.

"Was it important for...should I have waited until you could retrieve the drinks?" She picked up his hand just long enough to move it towards the champagne. "You can give it to me instead, if you prefer."

What other standard protocol had she neglected to sufficiently inform herself about? In an effort to distract herself, she reached with deliberate, calculated motions to remove the girl from his head, settling the clingy child on her hip instead. She smiled and booped her nose with the end of her pointer finger before she returned her attention to her date.

Robert heard her voice, even if it was just a quiet 'um', and his entire head lolled to one side to look at her, transforming the broken man into something even worse. A goofy, drunk smile plastered on his face for a second.

She thinks I'm perfect.

He almost thought it like he was teasing himself about it, but then he shook his head and sobered up. She'd brought the glasses, which several children were already eyeing curiously, and Robert returned to his senses with a very stern, very powerful - "No."

Then he returned to looking up at her, all smiles once more. "No." He repeated, this time with an airy sense of awkward flirtation. "You're fiiine. I couldn't have left them for this. You did me a favor. I was starting to feel a little like a failure before I'd even begun." But he didn't feel like a failure anymore. Because she thought he was-

He looked genuinely startled when the leech of a child was pulled off of his head. He reached up to check if there were any others attached to him, and wondered how he'd lost almost all sense of self-awareness so easily, but he had the loveliest sight to distract him. Mimsy, playing sweetly with the child, gentle and hesitant with just the softest hint of care. And suddenly Robert reminded himself that she was perfect. too.

"You're pretty good with them, huh." Robert sounded like he was practically fawning; and it would have been embarrassing if he could hear himself. He reached for his glass again, and finally turned to take a sip - once more aware of everything around him. Including -

"'Ey, Lucky." Robert harped out, putting his glass down so he could extend his hand for a firm, bracing handshake. "Happy New Year! How you making out so far, buddy? You ready to ring in a new one?"

Lucky took a second to recognize he was being spoken to, but upon doing so, he gave Robert a pleasant smile and a mostly confident handshake. His fingers felt strange in texture, scarred and calloused so many times they were hardly recognizable by touch. It was the compounding effect of so many hands-on lab accidents. He set his champagne glass down and ran a finger along the rim of it. "Robert - it's Robert, right? - nice to see you again. I just can't believe another year's come and gone so fast. I could stand to invent a time machine next, I think."

Mimsy's announcement had him clapping his hands together.

"Forget the new year; this is worth celebrating!" He swiped his half-full glass back to clink against Mimsy's enthusiastically. He nudged Robert slightly with an elbow. "You're probably thinking that as her slightly older brother I'm supposed to threaten you or something - but I'm really just so happy my sister's found someone!"

He leaned even closer to Robert with a confident smile and a low voice.

"But, for the record, I do work in a runic ballistics lab. Full of weapons. And explosives." Without missing a beat he clapped Robert on his Mimsy-less shoulder before taking a sip of his drink. "Isn't being in love wonderful?"