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 Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 11:55 pm
Once, Tara had loved Halloween. It seemed like a holiday tailor-made for her, the one time a year it was acceptable, even cool, to be weird. Not just different, but downright weird. She loved making costumes and going to cheesy haunted houses and eating candy until she was fit to burst, but most of all, she loved the way that everyone seemed to fall in with her line of thinking, if only for a while. Aliens and monsters were the norm, and she didn't get strange looks when she spoke about the rocket she was going to build one day, or how time travel was just a matter of... well, time. Halloween was the magical season when nothing was too strange to be allowed, and she couldn't get enough.
It had been five years since Tara's last real Halloween. Her old Marvin the Martian costume, the product of many hours of hard work between her and her brother, sat in the closet, collecting dust. The fish she'd won at the carnival were miraculously still alive, swimming in endless circles in their tiny tanks. That was the last time she'd been able to really enjoy herself, before the harsh reality of what it meant to be a senshi hit her, and hard.
Subsequent Halloweens had been spent in isolation, either at home or at her Outpost, as she ran from one aspect of her life to another, looking for respite that she now knew she couldn't have. There was no escaping her fate. Even without her pen, she was still bound to Aquarius, and that fact would never change. What she could change was what that meant, and what she did with that unbreakable bond.
It was a long, slow, tedious process. It involved months of therapy, and medication, and more introspection than she felt comfortable doing. It meant going to yet another school, so she could get her grades up before applying to DCU. And, she decided, Halloween was going to play an important part in her recovery. An important part in re-establishing who she was.
She started small: helping Kent make homemade goodies for trick-or-treaters, now that it was relatively safe for her in the kitchen, and decorating the space in front of their apartment. This was trickier, since she rejected most of the party supply store's stock out of hand. Fake blood still made her uneasy, and tombstones and severed body parts made her want to scream. Instead, there were cottony cobwebs aplenty, along with a few plastic spiders to perch on them. Together they carved a simple jack-o-lantern and set it outside, along with a string of orange and yellow lights hung over the door. Sound effects made her jumpy, but there was a cheap fog machine that added just the right effect. Standing at the end of the hall when everything was turned on, Tara thought it looked like she was about to enter someplace different. Unsettling because of its difference, but not inherently frightening. The kids would probably poke fun of how tame it was, but she was proud of the result, and of herself for getting through the setup without having a nervous breakdown.
With the recipes tested and the decorations done, all that remained was choosing a costume. Her first in five years.
When she was a kid, Tara had preferred dressing like an alien, or something equally improbable- a monster, or a mythical beast. None of which held much appeal anymore. Before, it had been a sort of self-affirmation, a reminder that what she sought was truly out there. Now, she had yet to fully accept what being an alien truly meant, and monsters only reminded her of the ones she was supposed to be fighting. Or worse, the ones she had become.
Myths, on the other hand, were still comforting. Not fairy tales, which she had never been a huge fan of. Considering the abundance of princess and knight characters, they felt too close to her real life. Something peaceful, she decided, but still strong. Like a unicorn, but less silly. Dragons were so overdone. There were plenty of costumes based on real animals, but none of them felt quite right.
She pushed a trio of poodle skirts aside, and there it was. A glittering orange tunic with tattered bell sleeves and strips of red and gold tulle forming a skirt. Normally Tara hated skirts of all kinds, but this one was too loose and light to be cloying, and much too short to trip over. Inside a bag on the hanger she could see a matching necklace, a headband, and a pair of orange leggings. Turning the tunic around, she found exactly what she'd hoped to see, and began to laugh with delight. Even though she knew it was a popular idea and mass produced, she didn't care. Maybe destiny wasn't always bad, if it was able to give her signs like this.
She changed into the costume after class the next day. "Come ON," Kent called from the other room. "We're going to be late for the office party!"
Looking in the mirror, she straightened one of her vermilion wings, adjusted her headband, and grinned. All along, her goal had been to make something new of herself. Now, more than ever, she knew that she was on her way.
"I'm well overdue for a rebirth," she told her reflection seriously.
It didn't reply, but somewhere in the back of her mind, Tara could hear her own voice overlaid with another. 'Good for you.'
The voice made her freeze. It had been a while since she'd heard Exidor, and she wasn't sure it meant anything good. But for once, the voice wasn't criticizing or blaming her. It seemed genuinely happy. Which, if it really was a reflection of what she was thinking, meant that she was genuinely happy too. If that wasn't a sign of her rebirth, what was?
"Yes," she said, smiling again as she sailed out the door. "Good for me!"
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:25 pm
Late on Halloween Night, Tara sat next to her desk, a bag of candy by her feet. Technically she was probably too old to go trick-or-treating. Not that she cared about technicalities. Sure, she would probably have gotten turned away if she tried going door to door, but stores were another matter entirely. She could easily slip into a mob of kids and shove her bag in front of a distracted attendant.
It was amazing how many kids were out there, and how many stores were actually offering candy to them. Tara was afraid she would feel out of place, being so much older than the majority of trick-or-treaters. Instead, the whole experience brought her back to the days when she could still get excited over Halloween and everything it meant to her. She felt like she was fourteen again, before she had awakened as a senshi, before she had died, or become a monster, or run away from the world. Before her responsibilities had become burdens, and her confusion had grown too great for her to handle.
Free from her cares, the phoenix flew through the streets, collecting treasures to take back to her roost. She got a few raised eyebrows from shopowners and store clerks, but most of them were too infected by the Halloween spirit to care. The kids liked her costume for the most part, and she enjoyed getting attention that had nothing to do with her other life. For hours she lost herself in the mindless candy-grabbing, only stopping when she noticed the masses starting to disperse, as the sky grew dark and the atmosphere foreboding.
She didn't change out of her costume when she got back home, instead setting a kettle on the stove and hurrying to her room. And, more importantly, her telescope. She had tried to catch a glimpse of the so-called "Spooky Asteroid" earlier in the day, when it was closer to Earth, but the sunlight was too intense for her to see much of anything. Now, she focused her telescope, aiming first for Vega, which was bright that night, and then over just a bit- there!
"Wow," she breathed, leaning in closer, as if that would summon the asteroid to her. "You've been hiding for an awful long time, haven't you? I can hardly say I blame you. Would be a hypocrite if I tried, really."
For a moment Tara wondered if there was a senshi belonging to this asteroid, and what their fate was. Would they be able to escape the war like their homeland had escaped detection? What would happen to them if the asteroid did end up colliding with Earth, or another space object? And was their name really Sailor Spooky?
The knot in her chest tightened as she considered the possibilities. Then, when she realized what she was doing, she shook her head. Halloween was for getting away from reality, not for dwelling on what bothered her. Digging into her bag with one hand, she pulled out a bite-sized Baby Ruth, unwrapped it, and popped the whole thing into her mouth. Then she leaned in again and let out a long breath as she settled in to watch Spooky hurtle through space once more.
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