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 Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:29 am
Blue Bastarache opened his eyes to a world full of pain; the world that was the vision of his shame stood bare in front of his eyes. He looked at his side, and saw Raven, sleeping with a very tired expression on her face.
"I tired you... I hurt you, I damaged you, I encaged you, I enslaved you, I went against you... I love you..." he whispered, "I don't want you to get hurt because of me anymore, angel. No matter what you say, I know I am the one whom brought it out of you. But I want you to smile, to laugh, to enjoy this life..." he laughed softly and silently, a teardrop falling onto her cheek, "...Remember when I told you how I saw the end of this..? 'The end of one of us'..? Well, Raven... I have come to understand that everything you need lies in the end of me." his lips softly touched her forehead, "I will end this pain for you and me... Cause I'm never there, for you or me."
Then, he slowly stood up, careful not to wake up Raven. Standing up, he took his cape off and placed it onto her; to keep her warm. Then, slowly, he walked towards the courtyard.
(This has to end.)
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:38 pm
As he walked back to the woods, he felt the stitches on his lips disappear slowly. Blue Bastarache walked back to the stpot where Raven was sleeping... underneath his cape. Sighing and fighting back the tears, he approached her, and set his pain aside... momentarily.
Sitting next to her, Blue Bastarache observed her now peaceful face. His hand reached out and slowly started to fondle her hair as she slept.
"I... think I can find a point of exclaimation as long as I have you here, angel." he said, noticing the blood staining her hair, "And the blood is still on your hair."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:32 pm
Raven slowly opened her eyes.
"Oww..." she whispered. Her muscles were stiff. She sat up and stretched her arms, as well as her wings. It was a moment before she noticed Blue watching her.
"Hi...Blue." Her voice was sleepy and a bit strange, but she looked a lot better than she had before.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:36 pm
Blue's vacant eyes turned to hers, as he smiled softly - an expression that looked simply sickened on his face. He said, "Good morning, beautiful.". His voice was fading in and out in a soft whisper as he repeated the phrase he had told her many times before... Yet, this time, it didn't sound the same.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:38 pm
Raven smiled as she finished stretching. It had dawned on her why she was out in the middle of the woods or why Blue sounded so strange. She yawned again.
"Morning..." she said as she yawned.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:45 pm
Blue's vacant stare drifted off her eyes and turned to the night sky. He smiled bitterly as his gaze wandered off. He then noticed his right hand's fingers sticking to the dried blood. He kept his smile as he slowly opened up his fingers; picking the scabs apart and drawing fresh blood. The remnants of his razor wound started to cry crimson as he kept his smile on.
"It's nighttime." he said, his voice unusually soft, "A time of the daily cycle that we belong to."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:52 pm
Raven suddenly frowned, remembering everything. She noticed the weird look in Blue's eyes, the smile on his face. She grabbed his hands.
"Blue, what's wrong?" Her question was almost demanding, almost panicky.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:56 pm
Blue Bastarache kept his smile on his face; he couldn't help but keep the sickened expression. As Raven took his hands, he heard her voice; panicking.
"Oh, it's nothing." he said, feeling blood run out of his hand, "I just had an epiphany, that's all."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:57 pm
Raven's eyes widened and her heart began to beat faster.
"I don't understand, what kind of epiphany? About us? Why are you acting so strange?"
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:01 pm
Blue smiled even more sincerely- something making his expression even more twisted. His hand gently caressed Raven's cheek, "Relax, angel, relax..." he said, "I just realised that I am the one to drag you down and envelop you around with this soft silken darkness."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:04 pm
Raven almost did relax, the sound of his voice calming her. The she heard the last few words he spoke and she pulled away.
"That's not true...don't blame yourself. You know it's not your fault...mine...only mine."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:10 pm
Blue Bastarache's smile eased a bit, and became sincere and loving as he stared at her, "No." he said, his face painted with joy and sorrow, "It's you whom shouldn't be blaming yourself." his voice had come out soft and caring, "I am not whom I thought I always knew. I am not Asellas anymore. I am not the Blue Bastarache I was when I first came to Ria." he smiled to himself more in that moment, "Could you have loved me then..? Without the pain..?"
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:12 pm
Raven's curious gaze watched Blue's expression, his eyes. The change made her wonder.
"Oh Blue, no matter what I can't image not ever loving you. You are my heart..." Her curious eyes filled with her love for him, but she couldn't let go of the question in the back of her mind. Where was this leading?
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:18 pm
Blue Bastarache kept on smiling, yet, there was something sad about it this time. His eyes were filled with an emotion; his love for her. He said, "I don't think I should be here, Raven. I don't believe I should remain in Ria. I am the source of pain for everyone. All I have is that. I give everyone only pain; you as well. My love drowns it out sometimes. But even now, all I see is your fear caused by me." he sighed, "I didn't understand this until after Loli left Ria. But now, angel, now, when I look back to the moment when you died... All I was thinking about was my pain. How much I would miss you. I never thought about you. All I could think about was your void."
He kept on smiling, "But... if you want me to... I can stay here. With you."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:23 pm
Raven looked down, her eyes sad.
"I hate it that you blame yourself. Things like this just...happen. It's the kind of things you can't change no matter if you tried. Before I met you it was happening...you thought you fixed it, but that was something different. No matter what you couldn't have stopped it. When I died it was okay for you to think about your pain...that's normal. But you...you aren't the source of anyone else's pain, but your own. You are only hurting yourself. The only fear I have is that you will keep blaming yourself and that you will drive yourself too far. The only fear I have is for you, not of you, not because of you. If you want to leave, that's your choice, but for what it's worth I don't want you to go. I love you."
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